Ties That Bind
Ahh, nothing say peace and quiet on a Saturday morning. The birds are chirping, the wind blowing, the nice warm sun shining. What could go wrong? [A butterfly perches on Lincoln's window then is blew away by a sudden blast] Oh, yeah, that could go wrong.
[Inside the Loud House, it show all the Loud kids are doing their usual thing. Luna is rocking out, Lucy is reading her her poetry on the attic steps, Lana and Lola are racing with their car and pogo stick, some commotion is coming from Lisa and Lily's room, Lily is finger painting on the hall walls, and Luan is practicing jokes with her dummy, Mr. Coconuts]
Mr. Coconuts: How do you make an egg roll?
Luan: I don't know. How do you make an egg roll?
Mr. Coconuts: You push it!
Luan: Good one, Mr. Coconuts, but your delivery was a little wooden. [laughs]
[Mr. Coconuts turns to her and stares at her vividly. Luan reacts surprised and turns to viewers awkwardly. Leni comes out of her room wearing one Lori's tanktops]
Lori: [angrily] Is that my shirt? Take it off!
Leni: I can't! There are boys here!
[Mr. Coconuts raises his eyebrows in an aroused motion and Luan covers his eyes]
Mr. Coconuts: Ah, coconuts.
[Lynn is leaping off the walls in a parkour manner. Lincoln is trying to copy it, but falls on his face. Lynn bounces off Luna's speakers and leaps over Lola's car and Lana's pogo stick. Lincoln tries to do the same but fail to as Lola ran him over with her car and Lana bounced off of him. He tries to catch up with Lynn]
Lynn: See, Linc, the key to parkour is momentum. Never stop moving. [leaps onto the bathroom door and springs off it] Door jump! [flips back]
Lincoln: Door jump! [drop kick opens the door and falls in] Whoa!
[Cliff is seen leaving the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper on his right paw. The hind one]
Lincoln: [on the bathroom floor] I'm okay. Just gonna lie here a sec on the nice, soft floor.
Anastasia: Excuse me, do you mind? I'm taking to put in make-up here.
Lincoln: Isn't it too early for you to put on make-up?
Anastasia: Isn't it too early to start making loud noises and stuff? Beside, it's better me doing this instead of starting chaos with them, am i right? And beside again, i trying to look cute for my sweet babboo.
Lincoln: You got a point there. [to the viewers] Welcome to a typical Saturday morning in the Loud house. Sure it's crazy, but that's the way we like it. All thirteen of us. Even if one of us don't really be here that much.
[At that moment, Rita's voice can be heard through the vent]
Rita: Thirteen is way too many. I can't take it anymore.
Lynn Sr: But we can't get rid of them. I'm too attached.
[Lincoln overhears this and gasps so he got closer to the vent to hear better]
Rita: I know you are, honey, but they're just so obnoxious and loud.
[Anastasia also overhears this and get closer as well]
Anastasia: You don't think they are talking about us, right?
[Lincoln and Anastasia looked out into the upstairs hallway to see the chaos that the other loud kids made. Possibly being the cause of this issue with Lori who is trying to get her shirt back from Leni who's running away from her while Lori holds on]
Lori: Stop! You're stretching my shirt!
Rita: I'm sorry, but my mind is made up. I want all of them out of the house and on the curb in time for trash pickup tomorrow.
Anastasia: [frightened] Did...did she say trash pickup?...
Lincoln: I'm afraid so.
Anastasia: [very frightened and upset] What are we going to do?! What's gonna happen to us?! I can't get threw out like trash! I got a lot of things to do!
Lincoln: Calm down, okay? We can figure this out. Come on, let's go tell the others. [Lincoln ran off to tell his sisters what he and Anastasia just heard]
Anastasia: [in her thoughts] No...it can't be...They just can't...I live here...
Lincoln: Let's go, Anastasia! [grabs Anastasia]
[Meanwhile down the vent that is connected to the parents' room, it is reveal that Rita, Lynn Sr, and Logan are reall talking about Lynn Sr' neckties]
Lynn Sr: But i love my tie collection! Cool neckwear is my thing.
Rita: Honey, they're an embarrassment.
Logan: Mom's right, Dad. I never liked them when i was a kid and i still don't. Beside, they all lost their cool a long time ago.
Lynn Sr: [holds up his disco tie] Not this one. [pressed a button that makes it light up and play music] It's like a dance party around your neck. [starts dancing which makes his wife and son feel embarrassed]
Logan: Now do you see why i spended more time with you instead of him?
[Meanwhile upstairs, Lincoln and Anastasia tell the other loud kids about what they heard in the bathroom but don't believe them]
Lori: That is literaly the dumbest thing either one of you have ever said.
Lynn: Yeah. Why would they want to get rid of us?
[Lincoln opens his door and shows his sisters the mess they made in the hallway. A coyote trying to make off with Mr. Coconuts but noticed the kids, dropped the dummy, and left the house]
Girls: Oh.
Lori: [still not believing] Whatever, Mr and Mrs. Paranoid. This is a waste of valuable texting time.
Lincoln: Lori, wait! We're serious! Come listen for yourself.
[Lincoln and Lori went to the bathroom, leaving the others behind]
Lucy: Aren't you going with them?
Anastasia: [counting down] 3... 2... 1... Annnnnd...
[Lori returns seconds later with a sense of worry]
Lori: [To her sisters] IT'S TRUE! MOM AND DAD ARE GETTING RID OF US!
[The others begins to start panicking]
Lola: [furious] I'm gonna go down there and give them a piece of my mind!
Lincoln: [stops Lola] Lola! Calm down!
Lola: I'm gonna lose my princess bed! Don't you tell me to calm down!
Anastasia: You better do what he said and calm down, pig. Unless, i have to do is myself.
Lola: I want to see you try.
[Lola and Anastasia growls at each other as Lincoln got in between them and stop them from fighting each other]
Lincoln: Knock it off, you two! This is what got us in trouble in the first place. The yelling, the fighting, and the loudness.
Anastasia: Not sure if loudness is even a word but ok.
Lori: Lincoln's right. We have to be quiet, and perfectly well behaved.
Lincoln: If we work together, maybe we can convince Mom and Dad to not get rid of us. Now who's with me?
Girls: [yelling out loud] WE ARE! [realize their noise and tone it down] We are.
And so, the kids put their to work. Lynn stopped doing sport in the house. Lisa stopped concocting her mad science experiments. Luan stopped cracked jokes. And Luna stopped jamming, much to her dismay.
Luna: [sorrowfully] Sorry, love. Time to go acoustic. [puts away her axe and starts playing a zither]
Luan: [putting away Mr. Coconuts] So sorry, Mr. Coconuts.
Mr. Coconuts: [played by Luan] Without me, you're just a hand! [Luan closes the trunk on him and speaks for him in a muffied tonetone] Hey! I bring the funny! You're always- [zips her lip and becomes a mime]
Anastasia: [watching Luan through the door] She really needs to get rid of that dummy.
Leni: Here's your shirt back.
Lori: Thanks. [takes her shirt back and sees Leni's wearing her sweater] Hey! That's my sweater!
Lincoln: [reminding Lori] Remember the plan.
Lori: [feigning And it looks so much cuter on you! [grins widely]
[Lily is crying with worry of getting kicked out so Luan performs the classic trapped-in-a-box routine to cheer Lily up, which it did. Leni walks in]
Leni: Oh my gosh! Luan, are you okay? HELP, GUYS! I THINK LUAN'S TRAPPED!
Anastasia: Aunty Leni! Shhhhhhhh! Remember, we have to be quiet.
Lincoln: Guys! Mom and Dad are at the vent again.
All the kids went in the bathroom and begin to eavesdropping on their parents' conversation.
Rita: Okay, maybe i judged them unfairly. Forget what i said about getting rid of all of them.
[All the kids are relived]
Lori: It worked!
Anastasia: Alright! We're safe!
Twins: We did it! We get to stay!
Lucy: Oh joy. What a relief.
Lincoln: Speaking of relief, everyone out, please.
[All the girls leave the bathroom happy that they're not gonna have to leave as Luan pretends to pull on a rope]
Leni: [thinks that there's actually a rope] Ooh! Invisible rope! [follows it]
[Lincoln shuts the bathroom door so he can pee as his parents and Logan talking]
Lynn Sr: You mean it? I can keep them all?
Rita: I didn't say that. But i will let you keep your favorite.
Lincoln: Favorite?
Logan: Are you sure about that, Mom?
Rita: Yes Logan, I'm sure.
Lincoln: Why is Logan's down there?
Lynn Sr: But they're all equally great. How can i pick just one?
Rita: Come on. There must be one that stands out above the rest.
Anastasia: [listening from outside the bathroom door somehow] Hmmm, favorite she said, huh? This should be good.
The next day, Anastasia made several cookies with her grandparents faces on it. She was about to head to her grandparents room but bumped into Luna.
Anastasia: Oh, hello aunty Luna...
Luna: Hey little dudette. What's that you got there?
Anastasia: Oh these? Just some suger cookies i made. There's nothing wrong with that is there?
Luna: Well it is when you got your grandparents faces on them. What's going on?
Anastasia: There's nothing going on! Now bugger off! [she walks away]
Luna: I don't think so dudette. [grabs Anastasia by her shirt and takes her upstairs] We are about to get to the bottom of this.
Anastasia: [cuts to Anastasia explaining to her aunties about the situation] And then grandma said that grandpa can only have one favorite that can stay. There, i explain everything to you. Can i leave now? [all her aunties looked at her mad] I guess not.
Lincoln: But on the upside, we're not all getting kicked out. One of us gets to sshrtay.
Lynn: And you thought it'd be either of you? [viciously bites into one of Lincoln's pancakes]
Lola: What happened to 'we all work together'? [was about to take one of Anastasia's sugar cookies but Anastasia move the plate away from her]
Anastasia: Hey! Hands off!
Lincoln: I'm sorry. I just panicked.
Anastasia: I don't know why you apologizing for. At times like this, it's every man, woman, and child for themselves. Sorry, Lily.
Lily: Poo poo! [she said angrily as she sat down on the floor with her arms crossed]
Luna: Dudes, Mom and Dad are talking again.
[Everyone rushed over to the vent]
Lynn Sr: I don't know. Maybe I'll keep the musical one.
[Luna smiles triumphantly]
Rita: Are you kidding? That one makes my ears bleed.
Luna: [heartbroken] Way harsh, Mom...
[The other loud kids console her]
Lynn Sr: Well, i definitely don't need the dark one. So dreary. Good for a funeral, but what else, really? Right?
[Lucy gasps, thinking her father meant he doesn't want her and Lynn laughs at her]
Lynn Sr: How about the one with the hockey sticks?
Rita: Eh, never been a fan. [Now Lynn gasps] Same with the filthy one. [Lana scoffs]
Lynn Sr: How about the funny one?
[Luan puts a smile on her face, thinking she is the one]
Rita: Never made me laugh.
Logan: Same here. Hasn't made me laugh neither. Never had, never will.
[Luan's smile turned into a frown and puts a teardrop on her cheek. Anastasia laughing at her]
Lynn: What about the one with the hearts and flowers on it? It's cute, right?
Rita: I think that's Logan. Right, Logan?
Logan: That was a mistake and that will never happen again.
Anastasia: [heartbroken] Why did you say that dad? That hurts my feelings. [Started to cry and took her angry on the person next to her which is Luan by hitting her in the head with the plumber]
Lynn Sr: Ugh. Now the pink one i can definitely do without.
Lola: [enraged] You will PAY FOR THIS!
Rita: And the littlest one is crying to be thrown out.
[Lily is flabbergasted. She puts her pacifier in her mouth and goes into a fetal position]
Rita: Then we've the dumb one.
[Everyone is looking at Leni]
Leni: [oblivious] What?
Lynn Sr: You know, I'd also feel a little guilty about tossing out the gifted one.
[Lisa seems calm about her being the favorite]
Logan: Oh, who cares?
Rita: Logan's right. Who's gonna know? [Lisa's expression changes] So where does that leave us?
[The girls realize there's only one left and it's the only other boy]
Lisa: I believe that leaves you, Lincoln. But what do i know? I'm the gifted one.
Anastasia: Now hold on a minute. What about my dad? He's the only other one who didn't get singled out.
Lynn Sr: Wait, i almost forgot? What about the mean looking one?
Rita: Nah. I can't stand that. No hard feelings, Logan.
Logan: Eh, I'm ok with that.
[The others gasps in shock after hearing what Logan just said]
Lori: I literaly can't believe what i just heard.
Lynn: Logan is accepting getting kicked out as well? Man, this guy is not.
Anastasia: Well, looks like you really is going to stay, uncle. Lucky you. [noticed Lincoln isn't listening to her] Hello? Did you hear me?
Lincoln: [happily] Wow...I'Wow...I've always wonder what it would be like an only child.
Anastasia: WHAT?!
Lincoln: [snaps out of it] Uh...i mean... [feigning sympathy] ...being an only child is gonna be terrible. What am i gonna do without you guys?
Lori: Well, i guess we'd better go pack.
[The girls leave the bathroom forlornly]
Leni: I'm still trying to figure out who the dumb one is.
[Up in the attic, Anastasia is packing all her stuff]
Anastasia: I still can't believe that I'm getting kicked out of the house. Me! Anastasia, the one true ruler of this house! The queen of this town! The future goddess of destruction to this whole world is getting kick out OF MY KINGDOM!!! [she said enraged] But, there's nothing i could do i guess. [sighs] Well, i could go leave with my other grandma at the moment. Even though, it's a drag to live with anyway. [sigh sadly before getting a text from Lincoln to come to his room] What do he want?
In Lincoln's room.
Lincoln: You may be wondering why i assembled you all here.
Lori: Uh, yeah. You're got five minutes. I literally have an entire wardrobe to pack.
Lincoln: Don't bother. [sighs] I overheard another convention between Mom, Dad, and Logan.
[The girls chastise him for eavesdropping again]
Lincoln: Wait. They aren't choosing a favorite kid to keep. They're just getting rid of one: me.
[The girls gasp in shock]
Lincoln: So, i wanted to give you guys my treasured possessions before i, you know, have to leave. [gives Lily Bun-Bun] Lily, this is Bun-Bun. He needs two hugs a day, and...try to keep his ears clean.
[Lily puts Bun-Bun in her mouth]
Lincoln: Luan, these are my rarest comics. [Luan turns them down] But they're limited editions.
Anastasia: Yeah, i can't think this anymore. [got one of Lincoln's shoes and hit him on his head]
Lincoln: Owww! What was that for?!
Anastasia: Because you is getting on my nerves with all this. Beside, you isn't leaving.
Lori: Yeah! There's no way we're letting Mom and Dad kick you out.
Leni, Luna, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa: YEAH! YOU'RE STAYING!
Lincoln: Really? Even though i was going to turn your rooms into my own personal theme park?
[The girls look at upset and seem to have changed their minds]
Lola: It was nice knowing ya. [takes his piggy bank]
[Lana and Anastasia took Bun-Bun and the piggy bank back from Lily and Lola and returns to Lincoln]
Lana: Of course we won't let you go. You're our only other brother. And Anastasia's only uncle.
Lori: Come on. We're gonna march right down there and tell Mom and Dad you're staying!
[The kids barged in Lynn Sr and Rita's room and the girls starts demanding them to let Lincoln stay and trip onto the floor]
Lynn Sr, Rita, and Logan: What the-
[The girls continue demanding to let Lincoln stay]
Leni: There's nothing wrong with his white hair!
Lynn Sr: White hare? You kids like my Easter tie?
Luna and Anastasia: [clearly confused] Easter tie?
[The Easter tie makes a high-pitched laugh]
Lynn Sr: Yeah. It's great, right? You know what? They all are! [looks at his collection which shows themes similar to his kids and Anastasia] Honey, I'm not getting rid of any of these ties!
Logan: Thanks for wasting two days on this, Dad.
Lincoln: Ties? You guys have been talking about ties?
Rita: Of course. What did you think we were talking about?
Lincoln: Uh, nothing.
Logan: Wait, let me guess, you thought we was talking about you, didn't you? [they nodded] I thought so.
[Rita and Lynn Sr laugh at such a thought]
Rita: Oh, we would never do that. You're the best twelve things that ever happened to us.
Lynn Sr: There's Thirteen, honey.
Rita: Yep. Right.
[The girls are relieved that it was all just a misunderstanding. Lincoln and Anastasia looks at Lynn Sr' Easter tie which laughs again]
Lincoln: [crept out] Whoof! Dad really should get rid of that one.
Anastasia: Tell me about it.
[Lincoln and Anastasia leave the room only for Anastasia to return shortly after]
Anastasia: By the way, Dad. Is it true that you had a tie with hearts and flowers on it?
Logan: [embarrassed] I don't want to talk about it. It's too embarrassing.
Anastasia: Ummmm, okay? [leaves]
Logan: Dad? Can you give me that tie so i can burn it?
The very next Saturday, everything is back to normal. The kids retuen to their usual antics with Lynn trying to teach Lincoln parkour again, Luna jamming out again, Lily is finger painting, Lucy reading her poetry, Lana and Lola playing on with their car and pogo stick, Luan practicing with Mr. Coconuts...
Luan: Good one, Mr. Coconuts.
And Lori and Leni are back to disputing.
[Lincoln gets covered in Lori's sweater, resulting in him landing in the bathroom again. Instead of Cliff coming out of the bathroom with a trail of toilet paper, it's Geo rolling out it with a trail of toilet paper on his hamster ball]
Lincoln: Ah... [to the viewers] Looks like everything's back to normal at the Loud House. And my eavesdropping days are over.
Anastasia: I wish i could say the same about you crashed in the bathroom everytime. [Anastasia said as she at the sink put on make-up again, Lincoln smiles nervously]
Lynn Sr: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT A BUN IN THE OVEN?!
Lincoln and Anastasia: [gasps in alarm] YOU GUYS! [runs off to tell the others]
Lynn Sr: You know I'm gluten free!
Logan poke his head out of the shower curtain and talked to the viewers.
Logan: [to the viewers] And that why kids, you don't jump to conclusions.