Sleuth or Consequences

It was night time at the Loud House and everyone is sound asleep. Logan came home from his night job. When he head upstairs, he could've swore he heard someone closing the bathroom door. He wonder who it was but ignore it due to him being tired. He went to get Anastasia from Lincoln's room and carry her up to the attic with him and went to sleep.

[The next morning]

[Anastasia woke up and went down the attic. After coming down the attic, Anastasia is staring at Lincoln's costume while her aunties laugh at him]

Lynn: Get a load of this!

Lori: That is literaly the funniest thing I have ever seen!

Lola: You aren't going out in public like that, are you?

Lisa: I might point out that you are well pass the recommended age that this behavior is deemed acceptable.

[they continue laughing some more]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] Harsh, right? But you know what? It doesn't even bother me. With 10 opinionated sisters, you gotta have a thick skin. [see Anastasia] You not gonna laugh at me too, are you?

Anastasia: Nah. Too early for that. Plus, that's a nice looking costume though.

Lincoln: Really? Thanks. Now if you excuse me, i have some guyliner to apply. [walks away]

Anastasia: Guyliner? I quite swore that's not even a word but ok.

Suddenly just as Lincoln entered the bathroom, water started flooding out, knocking both Lincoln and Anastasia back.

Anastasia: What just happened?!

Lori: Lincoln clogged the toliet again!

Lola: I'm telling Dad! [goes to do so]

Lincoln: What makes you think i did it?

Luan: Maybe because you made more clogs than a Dutch shoe factory! [laughs during rimshot]

It was true, Lincoln get flushed down some unwanted stuff.

[cuts to a few flashbacks of Lincoln clogged the toliet; Flashback #1: Lincoln is scraping his gross dinner into the toliet]

Lincoln: So long, liverwurst loaf! [flushes the toliet only for it back up]

Lola: [bursts in] I'm telling Dad!

[Flashback #2: Lincoln is holding an embarrassing sweater his mother made him]

Lincoln: Mom can't make me wear you if she can't find you. [flushes it down the toliet only to cause it to be clog up again]

Lola: [bursts in] I'm telling Dad!

[Flashback #3: Lincoln is pouring some CD's into the toliet]

Lynn Sr: [off-screen] Has anyone seen my CD's? I gotta practice for karaoke night!

Logan: [off-screen] Okay, who was it?! Which one of you took my Linkin Park CD's?!

[as Lynn Sr practices his singing and Logan looking for his CD's, Lincoln flushed them down the toliet only for the same thing happen once again]

Lola: [bursts in] I'm telling Dad!

[flashbacks ends]

Lincoln: All true. But this time, it wasn't me. I swear!

[Lola brings her father up the stairs with a plunger with him]

Lynn Sr: Well, there goes my Saturday.

Lana: [moves Lola aside and busts out her trusty plunger known as Big Bertha] Forget that pitiful plunger, Dad. This is a class 5 clog. You're gonna need Big Bertha!

Lynn Sr: Well, Mr. Flush-My-And-Your-Brother's-Cd's-Down-The-Can, i assume this was your doing?

[Lincoln was gonna explain that he is innocent but Logan came down from the attic to see what is going on after being woken up by the sounds of his family]

Logan: What's going on, Dad?

Lynn Sr: Well, the toliet is clog up again and i think your brother is the prime subject.

Logan: Again, Lincoln? I would've thought you would stop after flushing my CD's down the toliet.

Lincoln: But, guys! For real! It was not me!

Logan: Well, someone did it! Toliets don't just clog themselves!

Lynn Sr: Until one of you fesses up, everyone's grounded!

[all the girls complain about this unjust decision]

Lincoln: But Dad, i can't be grounded! The convention's in a few hours and i gotta get my Ace Savvy comic signed!

Anastasia: And me and my gang are gonna to do stuff today!

Lynn Sr: Until i know who did the crime, you're all doing the time!

[everyone except Logan complains even more]

Lana: [entering the bathroom with her father and Big Bertha] Big Bertha coming through!

Logan: [follow Lana to the bathroom] Might as well go help out in all this. [Anastasia walks up to Lincoln]

Lincoln: Anastasia! You know i didn't do this, you have to believe me.

Anastasia: Actually, i don't know if you did it or not. I was still asleep when that happen so i can't prove your innocence. Did you get any evidence?

Lincoln: No. But I'm gonna find some. I'm gonna find out who the real clogger is...Ace Savvy style! [pulls out his deck and drops it again] Dang it.

In Lincoln's room...

[Lincoln is shuffling a deck of cards and places various cards he put drawings of the other loud kids on his deck]

Lincoln: You know, from all the stuff you do, i don't believe that you is one of the suspects. Which is surprising.

Anastasia: Uncle, the only thing i do in the bathroom is use it, take my bath, putting make-up on, and doing my hair. When i got the chance.

Lincoln: So that leaves us with 11. [looks at the cards] One of you is the perp... but which one?

Lucy: [comes out of nowhere] Hey, Linc. [scares Lincoln and Anastasia] I might have a tip for you.

Lincoln: [suspicious] Wait. Why do you wanna help?

Anastasia: [also suspicious] Yeah, what's are you up too?

Lucy: I don't care about being grounded. My life is just an endless mental prison, anyway. But it's not fair that you have to miss your thing, Lincoln. And for you to not spent time with your friends, Anastasia.

Lincoln: Thank you. So, what have you got?

Lucy: At first i had Logan as a suspect but i remember he ask Lana for Big Bertha whenever he...well you know.

Lincoln and Anastasia: Yeah, we're know.

Lucy: But Lynn has eaten spicy meatball subs for ten days straight. You know what that does to your digestive system?

Anastasia: Don't remind me. I still can feel the aftermath of that day when i challenge Aunty Lynn to see who can last 10 days without going to the bathroom after eating 20 spicy meatball subs.

Lincoln: That's disgusting, but also a lead! I like your instincts, kid. You wanna team up?

Lucy: Sure. I've got nothing else to do. Besides, bear the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Anastasia: The more you say stuff like that, the more you remind me of my Mom and Dad.

[in the kitchen, Lynn is eating a meatball sub; suddenly, Lucy shines a flashlight in her face]

Lynn: Hey! What's with the light?

Lincoln: Why don't you admit, Lynn? You jammed the john!

Lynn: I think those tights are cutting off oxygen to your brain.

Lincoln: Oh yeah? Then explain this! [dumps discarded sub wrappers on the table] Nobody can eat this subs and not wreak havco on the plumbing! Except for Logan and Anastasia.

Anastasia: Yeah! [realize what he said] Hey! That because i let told you about the meatball subs challenge incident, doesn't mean i clogged it. I went to someone's house to drop a big one. Anyway, let's get back to what's really important. How many time did you go to the bathroom today, aunty Lynn?

Lynn: Nice try, geniuses, but my favorite roller derby is playing tonight and i never bomb the bowl before the big game. It's bad luck! If i go number 2, we won't be number 1!

Anastasia: Aunty Lynn, how many times my Dad told you, that going to the bathroom doesn't bring bad luck?

Lynn: Tell that to the Murder Flies who lost a game because one of their members had diarrhea.

Lucy: Gross.

Anastasia: Very gross. But at the same time, funny.

Lynn: If you wanna know who plugged the porcelain, why don't you ask Lisa? She keeps a log of all our bathroom habits. Pun intended.

Lincoln: Of course! Lisa's weird poop study! Let's go see this joker! [holds up the wrong card]

Lucy and Anastasia: That's the 2 of Diamonds.

Lincoln: UGH!

[Lisa and Lily's room]

Lincoln: I need the file from last night from 1 to 4 AM.

Lisa: [looks for the requested file] 1 to 4 AM..Hmm. It seems to be missing.

Lucy: Missing? How convenient! Clearly, you did it! Case closed!

Lisa: Oh, please! I haven't used the family lavatory in years! It takes too much time away from my studies. I prefer to use Lily's training potty.

Lincoln: Well, it looks like your story's clean...but your training potty's not.

Lucy: What about Lily? She's always dumping her dirty diapers in the toliet.

Lincoln: Aha! [slides right into and knocks over Lily's diaper genie and reveals a plethora of pooped padding] Nope! I'd say they're all here! That clears these two.

Anastasia: What about aunty Lori!

Lincoln: Of course! She was so quick to point the finger at me, and you know what they, She who dodged it, lodged it! [goes to interrogate Lori]

Anastasia: Not sure if anyone said anything like that but ok. [hears her phone ringing and answers it] Hello, this is Anastasia Loud, how can i help you?

Becky: Boss, where are you? You is missing out on all the fun here!

Anastasia: I'm at home still. It's a code: light brown.

Becky: You mean someone had clogged up the toliet and everyone is grounded until someone fess up?

Anastasia: Man, you really know the codes good. Anyway, yes. That's the reason.

Becky: Bummer, man. But i will hold down the fort until you get here.

Anastasia: You're a good help, Becky. Thank you.

Becky: Anytime, boss. Anyway, I'm going to see what's this kid problem is and deal with it. Over and out. [hangs up]

Anastasia: I don't know what i would do without that girl. [sees Lincoln coming back from his underwear over his head] Let me guess, she didn't do it? [Lincoln nods] That's a shock knowing how many times she toots.

Lincoln: Better put a pot of cocoa on. We've only got 2 more hours until the convention and 5 more suspects to go.

Anastasia: Mmmm, cocoa.

[next person on their suspect list is Luan]

Luan: It wasn't me! I was asleep the whole time and i can prove it! I film myself sleeping in case i say something funny i can use in my act.

[she show them a video footage of herself telling a joke in her sleep]

Luan: [sleep-joking] What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! [laughs during rimshot]

Anastasia: Note to self: remind me to haunt aunty Luan's dream later.

[They cross off Luan and move onto Leni]

Leni: Ooh! You wanna do an interview? Okay! My favorite color is zebra and the secret to great smile is...

Anastasia: Well, this is pointless from the start. It's obvious she didn't do it.

[They cross off Leni since they know that she isn't smart enough to pull off an act like that and move onto Lana]

Lana: Wish i could take the credit. I've trying to dam up the dumper for years. The only one who does that most of the time is Logan. I'm kinda surprise Anastasia hasn't clogged up the toliet especially after that challenge you did.

Anastasia: Oh, there's a reason for that. Just ask the neighbors. I'm sure they will give you the same answer.

[They cross off Lana and move onto Lola]

Lola: I would never get up in the middle of the night. It disrupts my beauty sleep.

Anastasia: [quietly talk to herself] I think you just scared to go there at night.

[They cross off Lola and move onto their last suspect, Luna]

Luna: I was at a concert, dudes.

Lucy: Prove it...

[Luna turns on the TV to a news report of last night's concert where she is shown chasing Mick Swagger on stage]

TV Luna: MICK! WAIT! I JUST WANT A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR!

[Lincoln, Lucy, and Anastasia are just speechless at Luna's alibi]

Anastasia: Okay, why am i not surprise?

Lincoln: "GAH! We're running out of time and we've got nothing!"

Lana: WE'VE GOT SOMETHING! [finds the source of the clog] Here's the culprit! [hands it to Lincoln]

Lincoln: Aha! A break in the case! [sees that it's a book] "Princess Pony: The Touching True Story Of A Delightful Pony Who Changes The World With Horse Sense".

Anastasia: What kind of loser read junk like this?

Lucy: I'll tell you who: Lola!

Lincoln: That lying scoundrel!

Lana: You guys do remember that was just down the toliet, right?

[Lincoln and Lucy revile in disgust as Anastasia laugh at them; They went back to Lola as Lincoln kicks the door open only to close on his face; he then enters normally]

Lincoln: We know you did it, Lola! We found your book in the toliet! [shows her the book]

Lola: Barf! That is not mine! I may be girly and pink, but i do have standards!

Anastasia: As much i hate to say it, she is right. I don't even see her reading something like this. Heck, i don't see myself reading this! I'm not a fan of Ponies or Unicorns. Only the Four Horses of the Apocalypse.

Lincoln: [convinced] I think she's telling the truth.

Lucy: [doubtful] I don't! She's sweating more than a vampire in the sun! Let me take a run at her! [kicks down Lola's tea party table] We know you did it! ADMIT IT! CONFESS! If you don't tell the truth...YOUR HEART WILL NEVER BE SET FREE!

Lincoln: [holding back an enraged Lucy] Whoa! Easy there, spooky!

Anastasia: [getting suspicions] Hmmmm...

[Lincoln and Lucy left]

Lola: [looks at Anastasia, unfazed from Lucy's outburst] You're cleaning that up.

Anastasia: Yeah no, you can go screw yourself. I don't do things for slaves. [leaves]

Later, Anastasia was walking around thinking about what happen earilar.

Anastasia: Hmmm, aunty Lucy's random outburst was very...random. I think she's hiding something and I'm about to get to the bottom of this. [kicks the door open] Aunty Lucy, we need to talk! [sees Lucy hiding something in ceiling lamp] Uhhh, what are you doing?

Lucy: [nervously] Just uh, checking the bulb in this lamp...

Anastasia: [suspicious] You are getting very suspicious. What are you hiding, huh?

Lucy: Nothing you can prove.

Lincoln: [kicks the door open] IT WAS YOU!

Lynn Sr and Logan: LINCOLN! STOP KICKING DOWN THE DOORS!

Lincoln: You're the Princess Pony lover!

Lucy: That's absurd!

Lincoln: Then you won't mind if i search the premises. [searches for evidence but couldn't find non]

Lucy: Are you done?

Lincoln: I'll be done when I'm- [notices something on the floor] That's an odd shadow.

Anastasia: Try looking up.

Lincoln: [looks up to the ceiling lamp and finds a clue] Aha! Lisa's missing bathroom files!

Lucy: Lynn must have put that there! You've nothing on me! [just then, her gloomy macabre poster peels and reveals a Princess Pony poster from behind] Dang it...

Anastasia: So you are the Princess Pony lover!

Lincoln: You've been lying to us this whole time! Why?

Lucy: [readjusts macabre poster] I couldn't let the others know i read Princess Pony. You know how they are. They'd make fun of me for the rest of my life.

Anastasia: So, why do you read it?

Lincoln: Even i need a break from the darkness every now and then.

Anastasia: That's understandable.

Lincoln: So, how'd it end up in the toliet?

Lucy: The bathroom is the only place i can safely read it.

[flashback to last night]

Lucy: I was reading it last night. And when I heard someone coming, i panicked.

[Through her panicking, Lucy tossed the book into the toliet and hid in the bathtub when a groggy Lincoln came by, flushed the toliet, then went back to his room; after he left, Lucy took the chance to escape and therefore saving her secret; flashback ends]

Anastasia: Aunty Lucy, why didn't you tell my Dad or uncle Lincoln?

Lucy: I'd thought they would laugh at me like the rest.

Anastasia: Are you kidding? Of course they wouldn't! Look at uncle Lincoln! He is wearing a tight costume and the others laugh at him earlier but he didn't care! Heck, my Dad don't even care about stuff like this! Heck, i don't care about you want to step out of the darkness from time to time. Even though i don't show it very often, i still care about you no matter who you are or what you read.

Lucy: Thanks, Anastasia.

Lincoln: That's great. But Lucy, you have to tell everybody. They still think i did it!

Lucy: But they'll tease me even more than they tease you! You can probably handle that, but i can't!

Lincoln: I'm about to miss the convention! Either you tell them, or i will!

Anastasia: [furious] UNCLE LINCOLN!

Lucy: [admitting defeat] Sigh...I'll tell them...

Anastasia: Are you sure, aunty Lucy?

Lucy: Sadly...

[Downstairs, Lori and Leni are texting each other, Lola's fixing her hair, Lana's arranging her tools, Lynn's doing push-ups, Lisa's reading, Logan's texting his girlfriend, and Luan and Luna are fighting over the remote]

Luan: Give it back!

Luna: It's mine!

Logan: Girls, share!

[Lincoln, Lucy, and Anastasia came down, ready to confess]

Lincoln: Lucy has something she wants to say.

Lucy: Yes... [gets their attention and reveals the book] This is what totaled the toliet.

Lisa: Princess Pony?!

[the girls laugh]

Lynn: Which one of you lame-o's does that belong to?

Lisa: Certainly not me! It's so sickeningly sweet i get toothache just looking at it!

Leni: [terrified at Lisa's exaggeration] Can that really happen?

Luan: Whoever that belongs to is gonna be the laughingstock of this house!

Lori: Yeah! They are literally worse than Lincoln! And he wears his underwear on outside!

[The girls laugh some more and Lucy knows she has to face music; Lincoln notices Lucy's pain and feels bad for her; Logan notices this too]

Lucy: Actually...the book belongs to-

Lincoln: Me!

Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Anastasia: YOU?!

Lincoln: I didn't want to tell you because i knew you'd make fun of me.

Lori: [sounding sympathetic] Aw, Lincoln..."[now condescending] ...of course, we're gonna make fun of you! But only for the rest of your life! [as she Luna and Lola look at him smugly].

Logan: Hold it there, missy. No one is going pick on no one for the rest of their life.

Lincoln: [underterred] It's okay, Logan. I'm looking forward to it. Now if you excuse me, I'll go tell-

Lola: [doing it for him] DAD! IT WAS LINCOLN WHO CLOGGED THE TOILET!

Lynn Sr: LINCOLN, YOU'RE GROUNDED! EVERYONE ELSE, YOU'RE NO LONGER GROUNDED!

[The sisters cheer and celebrate their freedom]

Anastasia: Man, she's a snitch.

Logan: Come on, Anastasia. Let's get you ready for your friend's party.

[Logan and Anastasia went upstairs to get her ready]

Lucy: Why did you do that?

Lincoln: Because you were. I handle the teasing. I'm quite comfortable with who i am. Obviously. But don't worry. Someday, you'll be, too. Until then, your second big brother got your back.

Lucy: [smiling and grateful] Thanks, Lincoln.

Lincoln: As Ace Savvy would say...it's no big deal! [screws up the card trick again] Dang it.

[Later that night in Lincoln's room]

Lincoln: [perfects the card trick] I did it!

[Lucy and Anastasia enters his room with Lucy holding something in her hand]

Lucy: Hey, Lincoln. [scares Lincoln again] Sorry you missed your convention. Here, I made you something. [hands it over to him to reveal it's a horror comic book she made] It's no signed Ace Savvy comic, but i hope you like it.

Anastasia: By the way, you don't have to be worry about being grounded. My Dad told grandpa everything and decided to ungrounded you.

Lincoln: What about Lucy? Wouldn't that mean she's grounded now?

Anastasia: Nope. He converted Grandpa to not ground her due to her secret.

Lincoln: I see. Well thanks, guys. I see Lucy's break from the darkness is over.

Anastasia: Yep.

Lynn: [ecstatic] WOO-HOO! MY TEAM DID IT! WE'RE NUMBER 1! [feels intestinal distress] Ooh...time for Number 2...

Lana: DAD, I THINK WE'RE GONNA NEED BIG BERTHA AGAIN!