Along Came a Sister
The story begins in Mrs. Johnson's class, and there's a spider in a tank that the students are eyeing.
Lincoln: Hey, Frank.
Classmate: Frank! Over here, buddy!
Clyde: He's so cool!
Mrs. Johnson: Now, before we pack up, i need a volunteer to look after Frank this weekend while I'm out of town.
The kids all volunteer to look after him, especially Lincoln.
Lincoln: Come on, please, Mrs. Johnson! Me! Me!
Mrs. Johnson: Lincoln.
Lincoln: Yes!
Clyde: Way to go, Lincoln!
All the other kids moan in disappointment.
Mrs. Johnson: Now, Lincoln, this is a major responsibility. Frank needs to be fed twice and under no circumstances should he be let out of his cage. Unlike me this weekend. [chuckles]
The kids all awkwardly glance at each other over what their teacher meant on that last part and the bell rings.
Lincoln: Well, see ya Monday, Mrs. Johnson. [grabs Frank's cage and heads home]
Lincoln: This is gonna be the best weekend ever!
Clyde: I'm not sure your sister Leni will think so. Remember last Halloween?
Flashback to last Halloween; the doorbell rings.
Leni: [dressed as a flamingo] I got it! [answers the door to see Clyde in a spider costume]
Clyde: Trick or tre-
Leni: AAAAHH!!! SPIDER!!! [sprays bug spray everywhere and runs out the door while trampling Clyde]
Clyde: I'm all right...
End flashback.
Clyde: She hid in her room for three weeks.
Lincoln stops and turns to the viewers.
Lincoln: If i had to worry about my sisters, Logan, or Anastasia every time I wanted to something, I'd never do anything. [to Clyde] Besides, i have a plan. Stealth mode. [waves his hand in front of his face and changes his expression and sneaks into the house]
Clyde: Now I'm worried.
Lincoln opens the door to see if Leni is around]
Leni: SPIDER!!! [being chased Luan holding a rubber spider over her face] GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!
Luan: Aw, come on. It's fake.
Lincoln conceals Frank's cage with a trench coat and hears Walt chirping and covers up his cage with a hoodie; he makes it to his room and uncovers Frank's tank.
Lincoln: There you go, buddy.
Someone's knocking at the door and reveals to be Lana with Lola's doll.
Lana: Can i borrow the big kid scissors? [sees Frank and gasps] Hey, what's that? Oh-ho! He's so creepy! Can i play with him? Can i?
Lincoln: No, no. Frank stays in the cage.
Lana: Aww...
[Enter an angry Lola]
Lola: Lana, gives me back my dolly! [sees Frank, gasps and squeals] He's so adorable!
Twins: Has Leni seen this?
Lincoln: No. And we want to keep it that way, don't way? So, shh.
[Enter Anastasia]
Anastasia: Hey, can you keep it down? I'm was trying to take a nap! [sees Frank and gasps] It's that a spider?
Lana: Yep! Creepy looking one, isn't he?
Anastasia: [walks up to the tank and looks at Frank] Ehh, my mother's spider is better and way creeper than this one. Like when you look at it, it's likes it is looking at your soul, but this one, meh. Has Aunty Leni seen this?
Lincoln: No. She doesn't and i want it to keep it like that.
Anastasia: Say what you want.
[Enter Lisa]
Lisa: Excuse me, some of us are trying to solve for Y. [sees Frank] Ooh! Is that an aphonopelma chalcodes?
Lincoln: Uh...it's a tarantula. My class calls him Frank.
Lisa: [gets a closer look, along with Anastasia and the twins in awe] Fascinating specimen. Had Leni seen this?
Lincoln: No! That's why I'm trying to keep him a...
In no time, all the other siblings (except Leni) are gathering around Frank's tank and ogling him.
Lincoln: ...secret.
Logan and the girls keep looking at him.
Logan and Luna: Has Leni seen it?
Lincoln: Guys, for the last time! Leni's not gonna see--
Leni opens the door.
Leni: See what?
Logan, Anastasia, and the others: [covering up Frank's tank] NOTHING!
Leni gasps and everyone else gasp back.
Leni: Oh, my gosh! Are you planning a surprise party for me?! Wait! Don't tell me. I wanna be surprised. [leaves]
The others sigh with relief.
Lori: [leaving with the others] That was close. You'd better know what you're doing, Lincoln. [leaves Lincoln to it]
Later, Anastasia is coming down the attic to go downstairs for a snack. But then she saw Lincoln looking for something.
Anastasia: Uh, Uncle Lincoln? What are you doing? Did you lose something?
Lincoln: Uhh..yes! I am missing, uhhh...my baseball! Yeah! [takes off to his room]
Logan appears along side his daughter.
Logan: Was that Lincoln? What was he doing?
Anastasia: I don't know, but from all my time living here, i never once seen Uncle Lincoln with a baseball. I'm about to find out what he's up too.
Logan: Good idea. [sees Lynn standing there by her room] Lynn, what are you doing?
Lynn: [through clenched teeth] Playing Freeze Tag with Lincoln. Little help? [carries Lynn to Lincoln's room]
Lincoln: [frantic] Crud, crud, crud!
The others open the door.
Lori: Alright, Lincoln! You don't wear contacts!
Anastasia: Or you don't have a baseball!
Logan: What is going on?
Luna: You've been acting even weirder than usual, bro.
Lola: Yeah. There's no way think Lana is cute.
Lana picks her nose in agreement as the other demands answers.
Lincoln: Okay, I'll tell you! Well, Frank was looking sluggish, so i took him out of his out of his cage to get a little exercise, and then i turned to get the crickets, and he was gone.
Everyone rambles about Lincoln's idiocy and worry about Leni finding out about Frank.
Anastasia: Uncle Lincoln, are you crazy?! It's already bad enough she tries to kill Jerry from time to time! Just think about what she would do if the finds out about this!
[Leni appears]
Leni: Finds out about what and what are we whispering about? Oh right! My surprise party! Don't worry. I won't tell me!
The second she turns around, Frank is shown to be on her back and the others scream in horror and follow them to the kitchen.
Leni: See? I know nothing. Just making a smoothie. [opens the fridge to get her ingredients]
When her back is turned, it's revealed that Frank is gone again; they mutter about the issue at hand and fear what could happen next.
Leni: Oh, i need milk. [opens the fridge where Frank happens to be on the milk bottle]
Lisa: Wait! [slams fridge shut] You're lactose intolerant!
Leni: No, I'm not. I'm tolerant of everyone, whether they lack toes or not. [opens the fridge again]
Everyone: NOOOO!!! [notice Frank's not in that spot anymore] Huh? [sigh with relief]
Lily: Eee, pider!
Frank is scurrying across the floor and Luna traps him under a pot; Leni turns around to see what's going on and Luna and Lily pretend to have a jam session by banging pots and pans and utensils together; Leni digs the beat; as she's too distracted by the tune, they look under the pot to see Frank escaped again; Anastasia facepalm.
Leni: So, who wants to try my new recipe? It's curds and... [while she is taking a sip, Anastasia tug on Lincoln's shirt and pointed up to see Frank on the ceiling light] ...way, way too much spinach! [everyone else gasp] Ugh! I know! What was i thinking?
Frank plops right onto her glass.
Leni: [thinking it's fake] Ha! Nice try, Luan, but I'm not falling for another one of your fake spiders. Though, this one looks pretty real.
Frank blinks, leading Leni to realize...
Leni: AAAHH!!! SPIDER!!! [busts out the bug spray]
Everyone: NOOOO!!!
Too late; Leni unleashes a massive spray cloud to ensure she got Frank.
Leni: [running off in fury] WORST SURPRISE PARTY EVER!!!
Anastasia: [coughing] Man, when i get my hands on that girl.
The cloud clears up and Lincoln spots what appears to be Frank's corpse.
Lincoln: [lamenting] Frank! No-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Lucy: I just wanna say I'm sorry for loss...and that I'd be honored to serve as funeral director. [holds out a brochure for a business she owns called "Lucy's Lament] I keep an assortment of caskets on hand. Were you thinking shoebox, or a little more money, mahogany?
Lincoln has settled for shoe box deal, and everyone who does not fear spiders is there to attend Frank's funeral. Clyde arrives with a casserole dish.
Clyde: Hey, Lincoln. I brought you this casserole. My nana says that there's no greater comfort in times of grief.
Lincoln: Thanks. [sighs] This might as well be my funeral, too. Our whole class is gonna hate me for letting this happen to Frank.
Everyone, kids and pets, gathers around to pay their respect to Frank.
Lucy: We are gathered here to mourn the untimely passing of Frank the Tarantula, a pet beloved by all.
Lola: [spiteful] Except Leni!
Lana: The murderer!
Lori: Yeah! This is all Leni's fault!
The others agree except Lincoln.
Lincoln: Guys, this isn't Leni's fault. It's mine.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Leni is washing her hands to wash away any and all tracings of Frank.
Leni: Ew! Ew! Ew! [overhears Lincoln]
Lincoln: I knew Leni was afraid of spiders, but i brought Frank home, anyway. It was a bad idea. I guess i deserve to have my whole class hate me.
Anastasia: You are a brave person, Uncle.
Cliff prematurely coughs up a hairball.
Lola: Ew! Gross, Cliff! Show some respect!
Logan: [noticed something odd] Hold up, is it just me, or does that look a lot like Frank?
Lana: Logan's right! This hairball looks like Frank! [picks it up]
Lola: Ew! Gross, Lana! Show some respect!
Lincoln then looks at the hairball and the corpse.
Lincoln: Because this isn't Frank! It's a hairball, too! Which means...Frank could still be alive!
???: AAAHH! SPIDER!
Lincoln: And it sounds like Leni just found him!
Clyde: Uh, that wasn't Leni. I know that scream.
Another flashback to last Halloween; Clyde had come to after Leni had mistaken him for a spider and attacking him.
Clyde: [coughs a little] Oh, hi, Mr. Loud. Trick or tre-
Lynn Sr: AAAHH!!! SPIDER!!! [tramples Clyde and runs after Leni]
Clyde: I'm all right.
End flashback.
Luna: [grinning] Dad's afraid of spiders?
Anastasia: You is talking about the guy who is afraid of a little harmless mouse.
A pest control van pulls up out front.
Lori: [concerned] And it looks like he's got the exterminator on speed dial!
Logan and the kids: Frank!
The kids watch as the Exterminator gets out of his van and notices two caterpillars.
Exterminator: Oh, hello, cute little caterpillar family. [shots them with bug killer and laughs wickedly]
Lincoln: It's okay, sir. There's been a misunderstanding. You don't need to kill the spider.
Exterminator: Huh. What are you, a spider hugger? Nobody stops me from getting my spider... [heads into the house to find and kill Frank]
Lincoln: I gotten go save Frank!
Lynn: [still in her freeze tag pose and through clenched teeth] We can help!
Clyde: I can help, too!
They all request Lincoln to let them help him.
Lincoln: Okay. You guys distract the exterminator while i look for Frank.
The others head in to do their job, but Lynn is hopping about; Lincoln runs up to her and tags her.
Lincoln: Unfreeze.
Lynn now hustles.
The Exterminator begins looking for Frank.
Anastasia: Mr. Exterminator! Help! There's a spider in the basement!
The Exterminator runs to the basement only to trip on a wire Anastasia set up and fell down the stairs.
Anastasia: Or is he outside? I don't remember. [The Exterminator came back up the basement stairs and growls]
Luna: [fake screaming] There's a big scary spider in the last room on the right! I hope someone can exterminate this ugly spider!
The exterminator sprays what looks like a spider and laughs triumphantly, but it turns out to have been one of Luan's fake spiders, making the exterminator flinch.
Luan: [tauntingly, wearing her Groucho glasses and holding a fishing pole with with a fake spider in it] What's the matter? Afraid of a little rubber spider? [laughs]
Exterminator: I ain't afraid of nothin'.
Lucy: [right behind the exterminator] Excuse me. [the exterminator screams at the sight of her and Luan smiles] The scary spider went in there. [points to the bathroom]
Exterminator: [checking under the bathroom door] Hmm... [sniffs]
Lori: [bursts open the door] What are you doing, you weirdo?!
Exterminator: [embarrassed] Oh, well, uh...I-I-I-I-I-I-I didn't...
Clyde appears in his spider costume from last Halloween.
Clyde: Roar! I'm a spider. Come and get me! [the exterminator nonchalantly shoves him aside] I'm all right.
Logan snuck up behind the exterminator and tap his shoulder causing the exterminator to look back and screams after seeing a creepy devil mask.
The twins ensnare the exterminator into a jumprope tangle and high five each other as Logan took off his mask and Lily shoves her pacifier in his mouth; he spits it out in disgust.
Lisa: Kids. They can be so juvenile. Mouthwash? [shoves the container in mouth, and when he sloshes it, it's revealed to be a little spicy] My special ghost pepper formula. The tingle means it's working.
Lincoln: Frank's not downstairs. So, he must be... [spots him]
Exterminator: [coldly] Upstairs...
Lincoln tries to save Frank, but the exterminator tangles him with the jump rope and beats him to Frank.
Exterminator: Ha! I've got you now!
Frank trembles in fear of his untimely demise.
Lincoln: [begging] WAIT! STOP! NOOOOOO!!!
The exterminator blasts bug killer everywhere, thus dooming Frank; the kids all gasp at his untimely demise, just as the cloud dissipates, someone in a hazmat suit appears.
Lincoln: Huh?
Exterminator: WHA?!
The person in the hazmat suit takes off their helmet and reveals to be Leni and it shows she just save Frank.
Lincoln: [overjoyed] FRANK!
The others cheer.
Exterminator: [threateningly] Why you...
Leni: [strong-willed] Hold it right there, mister! If you exterminate this spider, you'll exterminate... [pointing to Lincoln] ...this boy's future! Everyone will ever trust him again! Do you really want that on your conscience?
Exterminator: [remorseful] Wow...I never thought of it that way. Lady, you just changed my life.
Lincoln and Leni: Really?
Exterminator: [disdainfully] Of course not, you spider huggers! Exterminator out! Here's my bill. [plants the bill on Clyde's face]
Logan: Let me escort you out of the house.
The camera pans outside as Logan kick the exterminator out of the house before closing the door and headed back
upstairs.
Lincoln: Leni! That was amazing! But why?
Leni: I heard what you said at the funeral. And besides, maybe spiders aren't so bad after all. I mean, this one's kinda cute. [had second thoughts after Frank blinked at her] No, it's not! Take it! Take it! [gives Frank back and runs off] Ee ew ew ew ew! It blinked at me!
Lincoln: Let's get you back in your cage, Frank.
Lisa: I always thought Frank was a strange name for a female spider.
Lincoln: Frank's a girl?
Lisa: Mm-hmm. I can tell from the markings. Plus, female spiders always get sluggish before they give birth.
Clyde: Frank's gonna be a mommy?
Girls: Aw...
Monday, Frank has now been renamed Frances and all the Loud siblings who are not Leni bid farewell to her; Anastasia is talking to Logan.
Anastasia: It was fun having her around. Though the question here is, what happen to the babies?
In her room, Leni is brushing her hair.
Leni: 20...21...22...23...
However, it seems Frances laid her egg sac in the vents; the babies hatch and scurry into Leni's room.
Leni: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! SPIDERS!!!!!
Lincoln has a look on his face that just reads "Uh-oh".