Chapter X
"Memory is man's greatest friend and worst enemy." ~ Gilbert Parker
In the car, Emily had explained the whole situation when Clyde brought up the purpose of his visit.
"And how the information about the undercover ops is going to fit into all of this?"
"These private security firms are quite a close cycle, Clyde. We need contacts to see if they are involved.", Emily replied.
"Em, if you plan to send anyone anywhere, no one is available.", he stated, guessing what she probably had in the back of her head.
Emily looked at him thoughtfully. She knew someone that was. Not again, though... Not again...
"You are going to pose as another weapon stealer. There is going to be romantic involvement, Emily. It is up to you.", Clyde said seriously, after he had explained to her that their only way for Doyle was infiltration and, actually ,she was their only way.
"OK.", she simply replied.
She could do that. That man was a dangerous killer that needed to be stopped. It didn't matter what she would have to do. Come on. Every woman has slept with wrong men, hasn't she? At least a good thing would come out of it, lives could be saved.
"No time to think about it?", he got surprised.
"No, Clyde. I can do this.", she said decisively.
"Em, I promise you no one will harm you.", he said in that tone that former soldiers promise.
"I can promise myself the same thing.", she smiled confidently.
'When you are young you think that you are invincible. That's for sure.', Emily was thinking. She was harmed in more ways than just physically, eventually.
"Whelan and Paterson will help us build your background. Be prepared Paterson isn't a fan of the idea.", Clyde added.
"Why?", she asked, the other woman wasn't questioning her abilities, for sure.
"I don't know. That's women's stuff I think.", he raised his eyebrows.
'women's stuff'...
"People like Doyle look wrong from our side. From their side, they are right and you are going to be by his side.", Gloria said with meaning, "Things are going to blur."
If Emily had understood one thing from being by Doyle's side and witnessing his sorry to his son when he died, it was that in this world there are no right or wrong people. There are people fighting for right or wrong reasons, right to them but seeming wrong to others with different right ones in their mind. Emily let out a breath. The planet is a confused place. But that's what makes them the killers of saviours. If Ian had different set of right reasons, he wouldn't have been a killer. How many times had she thought of that?
"He is a man that is gonna fall for you and you are woman. You have to be prepared.", she carried on.
"Prepared for what, Ria? What are you trying to say?", Emily asked.
"That, Emily, you have morals. You aren't just going to jump a guy and not get attached! It's not you."
"Did you get attached?", Emily insisted.
Emily knew very well that the woman in front of her had used these 'methods' and the first time without even needing to do it to get the job done.
"Em, I'm not proud of it, but I'm not you.", she replied dropping her eyes.
'Attached'... She had caught her vision getting blurred and not only her vision back then in Tuscany... Emily shook herself. No! Where did this all come from? Those times came too often in her mind lately. She didn't want those memories. There was no point in them. She would never do that again even if she didn't have Aaron in her life. But sometimes it felt like her mind was preparing her for something. How was Aaron saying it? 'You have to sit with the past before you move on.' They had done it those days in London, biased but they had. They had moved on, both Emily and him. Things were good. There wasn't anything more. Or was there?
"Would you ever do it again?", Emily asked.
She turned her glass of whisky in her hands, in a pub during the only and last conversation that they had after she came back from Doyle and before she left for the FBI. She wasn't just talking about the 'intimate' part. She was asking about going undercover again, in general.
"No. Not anymore.", Gloria replied.
Emily knew the reason. It took her years of ignoring that part of her life and some runs to the other side of the globe and back to understand fully herself that reason, the one that makes you avoid being exposed directly to the dark sides of the world and yours, because there is someone to keep you to the bright side.
The files of the Paradise Demons were spread all over the bed. That habit of his, like he didn't have a desk in his flat… Who was she to speak, though? How many times had she fallen asleep with a file in her hands? His leather jacket was thrown over her worn shirt, both hanging from the chair along with their guns. Funny thing, eh? Messy clothes, files from a gang all over the double bed, two exposed 22's in the same bedroom and this felt like home…
'No, don't go there... Don't!', Gloria said to herself, as she was walking quickly to Garcia's office and her thoughts strayed away from the facts in hand. Her fingers went to her neck pulling the chain with the cross out of her blouse.
"What enigma are you trying to solve again?", she spoke softly.
She had leaned on the door of the bedroom, having come out of the shower and just watched him for a while pacing up and down the bedroom. That was him. A whole bunch of nerves and energy till he found the clue hidden, till he solved the puzzle. Pacing was the simplest. God forbid if things for some reason went terribly wrong or someone got into unnecessary danger, the walls could get some punches, so as people not to… It wasn't loss of coolness. If the whole world was coming apart and only one person could be trusted to still keep a cool head, that would be him. There would just be some holes and bloody noses around.
Her voice took him out of the storm in his mind. His blue eyes travelled her body covered by his large bathrobe before they connected with hers. A million different thoughts crossed them before he smiled to the side and turned to the window, looking at a London that was falling to sleep, as much of sleep the British capital could get.
"An organisation so big, they know that they are going to be shut down at some point. Some of them, the bigger heads, are going to come to pick up the pieces but for now they are just shadowing. These shadows will return."
"I know. You've taught me that, Richie.", she smiled.
That was what James Hathaway/Peter Rogers was: one of those shadows. There was that type of people in big and even smaller organisations, the ones who laid low even if they could move further, learnt and overlooked the links and the mechanisms of action. Consequently, they could put it together again after the law enforcement had done their job, make it better, keep it for longer, satisfy the customers, and, of course, finally put their hands fully in the profits. However, if they weren't caught for some other illegal activity at the proper time, very rarely they would end up as a notice and particularly as a blue notice, as a person of simple interest.
And yes, he had taught her all that. To be honest he had taught her much of the knowledge that she was using those last days. She had learnt from experience too much about the organisations. When you play one of them, you tend to. It's normal. But how to see a clue from the outside, how to get a conclusion out of all of it, she had learnt it from him. When she had first joined the that team Organised Crime Unit, she was an agent with a rather tough-love training and with some actual and some life experience in playing the bad –or being the bad?, that's a whole different story. He had seen in her enough to show her the ropes, before he had seen other things in her, before she had seen other things, too...
"These shadows will return... These shadows will return... These shadows..."
His voice was echoing in her head. Some other kinds of shadows started forming in her mind. The five minute walk to Garcia's was almost enough to bring on the surface whatever her brain kept buried for nearly a decade. She gripped the cross tightly till the edges almost pierced through the skin. No, she couldn't slip back then. Not again. Not now!
She burst through Garcia's door startling the tech girl.
"Pen, could you get me some things from the Paradise Demons case?"
Penelope noticed the flustered expression in her face.
"What do you need, my Glory?", she said simply.
"Get everything about everyone caught about transporting and dealing any 'goods' for the organisation or caught and suspected of it, please. I need you to compare the data."
"I'm spanking the keys as we speak. Don't worry! They like it. I just don't know what that makes them!", Penelope got busy with her machines, but turned shortly to look at the other woman, glad to see a faint smile on her lips.
Garcia's happy voice and the lighter environment in her office had managed to calm Gloria down a bit.
"Add the notes about them, too, if you can.", she added bending slightly on Pen's desk, watching the screen.
"Sure thing! Easter's notes? I didn't see any."
"Because there aren't. Richard Whelan's.", Gloria clarified.
"Oh! This name sounds like a hot Irish guy!", Garcia joked.
"He used to be my boss.", she replied as much indifferently as she could.
That was an understatement, but there was no proper answer to Pen's remark.
"Good man?", Penelope asked with sympathy, her right hand going to Gloria's on the desk.
Something in the other woman's voice had told her that behind the name was a special guy with a sad story. Penelope used to have this intuition with people.
"Yeah...", she murmured, "He was."
Garcia turned briefly to her with a smile of compassion and squeezed her hand briefly before she got occupied with the keyboard again.
Gloria didn't know if Pen had fully understood what had happened, but she was touched. When from the outside you are probably just a deceased man's mistress, nobody ever gives you their condolences for your loss. Even if you don't want anyone's pity, even if it is meaningless, you miss it, you need it and Gloria had needed that. She smiled sadly. 'Yeah, he was a good man.' That was all she had to keep in her mind for the time being. She turned her attention to the names and faces that appeared on the screen. That was what she should focus on.
"Start with anyone with a connection to the US.", she said.
So they had the shadow. It was time to find the object that casted the shadow...
When Emily and Clyde walked in the BAU, they found a very busy conference room with all the team sat around the table and Strauss that had insisted on keeping a close eye to whatever they were working on. The press was making scenarios and she was getting pressure from above. Gloria had already explained what a 'shadow' meant.
"Excuse me. Is Hathaway a shadow?", Clyde intervened entering the room.
"Nice to see you, too, Clyde.", Gloria commented on his lack of greeting with a hint of irony in her voice, while the others nodded to him, "The double identity can only guide us to this."
Emily noticed immediately that Gloria looked edgy. She was always nervous and she had gotten worse during the years but she used to keep a calm appearance.
Rossi was thinking the same thing. However, what bothered him the most was that he had noticed the cross hanging from her neck. He knew very well that it was always hidden under her clothes –and it was the best for the moment not to go to how exactly he did know that.
"Could this have shown in any way during the initial investigation?", Hotch asked.
"Shadows are rarely spotted. Their actions can only give them out, when they reach for higher than they normally do. That's what we normally look for to catch them. Otherwise, suspicion can be raised when their behaviour gives them out. Someone not behaving accordingly to their position and background, someone over skilled or too clever for a meaningless part in the play.", she answered generally.
She had no idea if any of this had to do with the interest about that guy. That notice was the vaguest one she had ever seen and Clyde didn't seem to have any answer, either two days ago, or now.
"The last one, at least, was what lead me to the conclusion, now.", she continued.
Clyde exchanged a glance with Emily. They were almost sure that his former team member had just solved the riddle of a dead man's hunch, without even knowing it. That was why he wanted her objective.
"I'm guessing as a profiler with some years on my back that shadows are shadowing someone similar to them.", Rossi finally spoke.
"The fact that Hathaway is way too sophisticated means he was looking to the top ones." Gloria answered nodding, "A shadow and the person that they are shadowing, the object, have some connecting dots. One: location, not the same but in their area of practice or some same hidden origin."
"It wasn't known that Peters was from US so the object was probably from here.", Hotch remarked.
"Exactly.", the Interpol agent agreed, "Two: the part of the business they are working, they co-operate and the object is normally higher than them. Hathaway used to play the transporter so the object was a big dealer. Three: the way of action in general. The simple way to say it is that someone that started from the streets won't be shadowed by someone that came from a sophisticated background. And usually the shadow is younger than the object. All this only leads to one person: Henry Fidget. He was one of the second in command."
"He is an American citizen, he used to be a legal dealer of guns before he took advantage of the other side and he was caught during the final op for Paradise Demons.", Reid read quickly the file in front of him.
"Fidget is in an American prison. United Kingdom deported him here.", Clyde added.
"Does the object know the shadow?", Blake asked.
"They do. They protect them and they breed them to an extent. They are their successors.", Gloria let a breath.
Strauss' assistant walked into the room quickly and without saying anything he whispered in her ear and from the look on Strauss' face the news weren't good.
"There was an attack at a police station in North Washington.", she announced standing up, "They used MQ-300's. "
Morgan's hand landed on the table. Being an ex cop and having lost his father on the job, this case had started to hit home for him.
Gloria squeezed her folded hands. No... Not this nightmare again...
Hotch retained his coolness. It was time for action and now they were sure that NPD and their terrorists were connected.
"We have to interrogate Fidget."
"I can help with that.", Clyde offered.
"Take Ria with you.", Emily said.
Emily had noticed her friend's reaction to the news. She had to protect her and she would be more useful there than here.
The other woman nodded. She didn't want to be around that event. No, she was afraid. She was afraid of herself and she had to still keep her mind.
"Dave, go with them.", Hotch ordered, "The rest of us will go to the crime scene."
"I'm coming with you.", Emily finished.
Everyone left quickly. Gloria, Dave, and Clyde were the last ones. They had to take the jet. Fidget was in a prison near Michigan. Erin was also in the room having already taken out her phone, calming down to deal with phone calls and she had to take and to make.
"Ma'am.", Clyde greeted her as he passed her.
"Clyde Easter, we finally met in person. I just hoped the conditions were better."
"Me too. We'll continue that talk, though, when everything finishes.", Clyde replied.
Gloria overheard them. Since when had Clyde known that woman and to what 'talk' were they referring? She shook her head. There was no point. Same things happen all over again. Nothing and no one change.
"The historical sense involves a perception, not only of the pastness of the past, but of its presence" ~ T.S. Eliot
That was a looong chapter! I enjoyed it, though. I really like making up glimpses to the past. I'm just worried that I tend to overanalyse. As for the case, guys, I'm making up stuff out of mind... I don't know how all this comes together. Give me some feedback here, please! ;)
Spoiler: First I'm guessing that you get where I am going with Emily. (Any right guesses get a prize! But to tell the truth, it's kinda easy...) Secondly, Clyde is 'cooking' something but the girls are going to change the game.
Also, there is a reason for Penelope and Gloria's interactions finally. I got an idea after watching the Black Queen... We'll see...
Let's all enjoy the upcoming 200! (I'm guessing a spy story coming but it's gonna be shown from the other side, from the managing positions... Emily seemed to know that they had called JJ to the State Department, remember? And there had been some discussions about secrets... So probably we're gonna have spies or witness protection...) Anyway let's wish to 400! heheee!