Chapter XIII
"Life asked Death: 'Why do people love me and hate you?' And Death replied: 'Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.'" ~ Unknown
"Why is that here?"
"Some known faces reappearing. I don't know why but we may get something when he have them caged.", he explained, "Come on. You need your rest.", and he took the pile of files to his desk in the other room.
She smiled to herself as she put on an old t-shirt of his and curled under the covers. For him it was already true. Since he was able to believe it, as it impossible as it was, she could believe it, too. He slipped out of the tracksuit he was wearing and he lied next to her. She snuggled to his side immediately and she felt his chest moving from a short laugh.
"Who ever had you for the huggy type, eh?"
"None.", she joked, "The majority thinks that, if I don't shoot, I bite. Nothing in between."
He smiled to the side. He just shifted, flipping her on her back kindly. He kissed her shortly before continuing to lavish her neck.
"Richie…", she gasped, her body melting to his ministrations.
"They don't say anything about you scratching, do they?", he said suddenly, the moment her fingers gripped his shoulders more fiercely.
"For how long are you gonna hold that to me?", she giggled, "And I'm not the only responsible one for that, you know!"
"I know.", he laughed dropping a last kiss and returning to her face, "Then we are safe, my wild cat."
"What are we going to do?", she whispered after a while, turning serious.
"Let them try anything more on you or me. They say I'm hot-tempered. They will get a real idea of what hot temper is.", he said decisively, as his palm travelled her side and came to rest on her hip, his thump rubbing the side of her tummy.
She saw his eyes getting softer. He knew she wasn't asking just for the matter related to the work. There was that other worry about that other something, they didn't know if it was true, if they should or even could hope for it, not only now, in the middle of that mess, bringing a ton of more complexities, but ever. No, she couldn't mind about the complexities of a miracle, if it had decided to happen now. But she was troubled about the added problems on him and she was scared of her own ability to make that miracle real.
"I love you, Gloria. That's all that matters."
Her eyes watered at how the words had sounded, direct and straight forward, like they were the simplest and purest fact in the world, able to take every weight off her.
"I love you too, Richard."
Their mouths connected in a deep, long kiss. Her hands were clinging on his body. Since he was there, she could be safe, then she could be sure that they could fight the world, then she could think that miracles happen, then she could be OK, if they don't.
He turned on his back again making her lie half over him. He nested her head at the crook of his neck, his fingers tangled in the chain of the crucifix.
"I'll never leave you alone. Whatever happens. Never."
And they drifted both to sleep.
She had a smile on her face that night. She dreamed of a life away from the mistakes, away from the darkness, away from the policies of the agency, away from any doctor's opinion. She dreamed of a normal life, because, for women like her, normal life could be just a dream.
And it could just stay a dream. In less than 48 hours, she lost everything and everyone. Everyone was gone, first the one and after the other.
Gloria was curled up in one of those lone seats of the jet. She hadn't said a word after sending Clyde to hell and dismissing David. She didn't want any of them around her. She didn't want Easter's controlling ways. She didn't need Dave's charity. Even their worrying glances were unnerving her. She just wanted to let her wounds bleed, alone.
All those days she had that pain in her heart, remembering better times that ended too violently. But she had come to learn a truth that was even harsher. Finally, it wasn't fate or God or whatever that torn her life apart and she was left with nothing from those times, except the pendant on her chest. Finally it was monster. She was left with a monster that had gone unpunished. Another monster, another one of the many that her fate and her choices had treated her. Monsters, that's all she had ever learnt consistently. And she had failed miserably to catch the one that took him away. If Fidget had been the one responsible, at least he was locked up. No, her failure was even bigger. The really responsible one was still out there. She was left alive and she had let the monster that killed Richard, assassinated him with plan and target, get away with it. She had read those notes multiple times. She still had them. But she had never fallen on something relevant. There was never a formal reason to look into that bastard called Charlie Blackmore. Only back then they may have had the chance but she didn't. Too consumed by her own sorrow and pain, she didn't. And he was his killer. She had failed. No, she hadn't just failed. She had failed 'him'. What was ever the point of being left out, of being saved? At least now she had to cover the lost ground and she was trying so hard to focus, to combine everything in her mind, to remember the very last detail.
But the flight was too calm and she was too tired, both emotionally and physically and her eyes closed on their own.
David noticed the woman eventually sleeping and he rubbed his forehead, letting a breath.
"What are we going to do?", he murmured mainly to himself but the other guy, even lost in his own thoughts, heard him.
There were far too many things in Easter's head at that moment, apart from the pure anger. Clyde wasn't a completely unemotional bastard like the majority thought and having learnt the real reasons that got his own friend killed and the fact that they were in the dark for a decade wouldn't have left him untouched. He did know about the Blackmore theory himself but there was no indication for a connection and the only person that could have theorised a connection was incapable of it. No, he didn't blame Gloria. Everything that happened back then was too much of a blow to her. The most vital thing those days had been for her to stand on her feet again. In any way, the chances were that there wouldn't have been any hard evidence. Even now the only reason that Fidget spoke was because he had her in front of him, she surprised him and at the very end he had nothing to lose.
"Don't pull her out of the case, the results would be worse.", he replied in low voice.
"Easter, sometimes I think I shouldn't even consider your advices and your ideas."
"Do you think that if you tell her to stop, she's gonna stop now? Gloria can turn dangerous and unpredictable. Keeping her in the loop is the only way to keep her under control.", he insisted, "And safe."
David had to agree. Clyde was right. And the problem was that he had no idea how to handle the whole matter, not only as it concerned the case. The ironic thing was that he had helped her before on the same thing and he hadn't even realised it till later. It wasn't done in words, though, and that was a whole different story.
"It's not my call, Easter."
"I know.", Clyde let a breath.
Easter had already phoned Emily but hadn't said her all the details about the interrogation and the facts uncovered. He preferred to inform her face to face. There was one more problem there, though: that detail that had been bugging Clyde since the night he was talking with Gloria about the case in London, that detail that was brought up far too many times during that interrogation with Fidget. Easter was afraid of what words could leave Gloria's mouth, if Emily said the wrong thing. But that could only be the tip of the iceberg.
David stared at Clyde probingly. He seemed like he was deeply concerned about some things more but he wasn't expressing them. But, as Rossi was balancing if there was any point of asking him, a soft cry escaped Gloria's lips.
"Damn it.", Rossi murmured and rushed to the woman that started wreathing due to a nightmare.
Clyde watched the older man with surprise as he didn't shake her or anything. He just held her hand in her lap softly, like he had done that before, and unconsciously her fingers squeezed his.
"Shh... You are safe, stella mia. Everything is OK. Shh...", he soothed and after some moments she calmed down without waking up and her grip loosened, "That's it, dolcezza."
He stayed a couple of minutes by her side and then he returned to his seat meeting the British man's stunned eyes. David threw him a 'don't dare to ask' glare. He wasn't going to analyse how he had learnt to deal with Gloria's troubled sleep. And no, she wasn't aware that he was able to do that.
Clyde just looked down to the file in front of him, concluding that he probably didn't need to worry that much about the rest of the 'iceberg'. The older agent's focus was on the woman and he could sense in the air if what was in Easter's mind surfaced for any reason. The British agent didn't want to share his concerns. Firstly it was just a suspicion. Secondly, even if he said it, they would tell that he was trying to cover up his own responsibility in the worst way. Last but not least, he was a high rate agent and, if he had this kind of ideas, according to his own way of operating at work he should make a note and start a whole procedure that was for no one's profit. So he would keep his mouth shut. For a moment, though, he wandered if Gloria actually knew that the man in front of him cared so deeply. At least, someone else knew and he would be glad.
"Are you sure that we have to look into this guy?", Garcia commented reading through the screen in front of her, in her office, "I don't like too rich people, because they have this habit of spending amounts of money, that could help others, on ridiculous staff, and this man doesn't even do that. I don't see anything offensive or related to our case."
"Garcia, these people have all the means to hide their tracks. Look deeper, even on how his businesses are operating.", Hotch remarked.
"At least three of his businesses have offshore accounts, which are impossible to track. Did I just say impossible? Not impossible but just be prepared, my kind Sir."
"Just do all you can for now.", Emily, standing beside them, said, "We have to fill the others in."
Hotch nodded and followed her out of the tech room, leaving Garcia to her tasks.
"We will have to find sideways. I doubt if we can get clearance to access everything. We need solid things. Clyde is convinced for some reason but I doubt they already have any usable proof.", she clarified.
"Why didn't he give you all the details?", Hotch asked.
"I have no idea. Control freak, saying something only when he wants to say it. That habit of his…", she murmured nervously.
"You didn't get to learn him now.", he replied calmly, worried with her tendency to get irritated do easily.
"I know but we are chasing ghosts in every meaning of the word, Aaron, believe me. We need to know."
An hour later, the team of the BAU still in Quantico was getting informed about Charlie Blackmore, the successful businessman that inherited a couple of millions from his father and he managed to turn them into billions, involved in a variety of businesses, mainly communications and transport, and all of them seeming very much legal. Also, he was running a charity foundation managing funding to a series of NGO's overseas dealing with victims of war and he was friends with senators and state governors. There was once a rumour that he would get into politics but he didn't.
"We should have in mind that the guy had connections to unstable countries and at the same time transport companies. That can be considered suspicious. In these places he has access to guns, military ones. Did we find any connection between him and the Black Cross?", Alex spoke.
"Garcia is still looking into this.", Hotch enlightened her.
"The guy plays the big game of power. That's for sure. But would someone like that get involved into organised crime? OK, there is money. But into terrorism?", Morgan commented.
"Welcome to the posh side of anarchy, Agent Morgan.", Clyde's voice came from the door, while he entered the conference room, "You have the means to create the chaos, you become the saviour and you get the power that you wanted from the start. The 'guy' has a come a long way to do it now, including arranging and killing an Interpol agent in cold blood."
Rossi and Gloria were heading to the Interpol Office. They had to get that bunch of notes that was hidden somewhere in her office. David didn't want her to go alone. Clyde would like to have some time and space to inform Emily and probably he wanted to give them some privacy so as Rossi to talk to her, too.
So they had dropped Clyde in front of the FBI building and they continued to the building nearby. Gloria hadn't said a word apart from letting them know that some relevant notes were in her office and head to the driver's seat of the SUV. She seemed calmer since she woke up, though, or she was hiding her nervousness behind the firm manoeuvring of the jeep. She had that decisive look on her face again and Rossi thought that she had gotten back to that self of hers that even after all carried on going under again and again, holding onto the job and the task in hand, because she had nothing else to hold on to. Not that that was for her best.
Once they parked in some street around – the formal parking lots were out of question as they were still getting searched and cleared –, she jumped out of the car. As she grabbed her bag, David decided to speak.
"I don't want to talk about anything, Dave, other than this case.", she cut him off before he opoened his mouth.
She knew that Rossi would try eventually to console her. She didn't want to talk to him about it. It would only mean even more pity from his side for her. He had gotten to learn everything in a few hours, while she had never told him anything. Never. Was it just uncomfortable? Was she too proud, too stubborn? She didn't know.
"Gloria, we will get him.", he said simply.
"It's about time.", she murmured without looking at him and closing the back door of the vehicle.
Rossi touched her arm and made her turn to him.
"Life is the wisest when it comes to timing."
"It has nothing to do with 'life's timing'. Come on.", she replied dismissively.
"Because of our job, we think that we must find everything, figure everything out, at the very moment we want. We can't always do it. Sometimes we should remind ourselves that evidence needs time to appear and at the very end we are just humans.", he carried on.
"If we had gotten him back then, 'this' wouldn't have happened now.", she insisted but he had finally gotten her attention.
"If this hadn't happened here, you wouldn't have made the connection. And if you had without the evidence, Blackmore would have walked and knowing that you know, he could have changed patterns or could have even killed you. And now we would have no clue. Think about that, also. These 'if's' are a tricky game. Don't get it into it."
"Dave, don't try so hard to justify a failure, please.", she protested again.
"You failed when there was no other crime, except the obvious, in the first place? Gloria, don't blame yourself for not catching a killer, while there was no sign he existed."
'And do you think that 'he' would even mind?', Dave wanted to add. But he didn't want to speak on behalf of a ghost and he had to respect her privacy, even more now when a story from her own life had gotten used and revealed. That was the truth, though. If that man loved her – and he did and that was an absolute fact for David for some reason unknown to him –, he wouldn't mind if or when she caught his killer. He would just mind about her, her wellbeing, her feelings. He wouldn't want her either to get obsessed with his murderer's chase or to play the hero of the story, because he knew very well from where he was that playing the hero doesn't always work out. He would only care about that pain and grief that was still in those green eyes, just like Dave did. Wait a moment. What was exactly behind that thought?
"Let's do our job, Dave. OK?", she spat and started to go, reaching in her pocket for a cigarette.
Rossi was aware that deep down she was listening, she valued his words. But she didn't want to answer. She was avoiding the discussion, as she had declared from the start.
"I'm here, stella mia. Keep that in your mind."
She turned her head to him softly, as she walked. She shouldn't have been so mean with his efforts to comfort her. She could recognise that he had points. She just didn't want him to 'be there' only because of what had happened to her. That was all. She couldn't handle it.
Their eyes met but her look was one of those few ones that he couldn't read. At least he got to tell her that. Yes, the man she loved was gone, taken from her unfairly and without justice being served. The matter was that she wasn't alone.
"But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." ~ Robert Frost
And this little quote has to do with some promise given above… Anyway. You'll see…
Far too many thoughts and feelings and no real action in this chapter but I wanted to show some little events and hint some issues before we get to the best parts.
Clyde had to witness better Rossi and Gloria's weird relationship for something that's coming up and I couldn't let David without trying to say something to her after what happened in the previous chapter.
I realised the other day that I turned this fic a little bit more about Gloria than I intended. I have a soft spot about my character to be honest and I wanted a bit of space to explore her. In the first fic even if the Unsub's story had started from her, he had far more to do with Hotch and Emily finally and Gloria was more detached from her own attacker than she is with this one. (And finally there's gonna be a reason for that, too...) But don't worry super Emily moments are coming, too!
Spoiler: Clyde is going to be right with each and every one of his concerns.
Whoever guesses the fact that will come between Emily and Gloria gets an extra spoiler as a prize! Actually it's the same thing that Fidget shouldn't have known in the previous chapter… Come on, guys give it a try! ;) Otherwise just let me simply know what you think!