Attention Deficit

In the Loud House, Lucy and Lisa are eating frozen dinners in the living room and Charles is pulling on Lily's diaper because she has his bone. The entire living room is a mess and Lincoln is working on something in the dining room. Lola bursts into the house in her princess car and sends Lily and Charles flying and snatches Lisa's dinner fork with a piece of salisbury steak on it.

Lisa: [to Lola] SALISBURY STEAK STEALER!!!

Rita: [serves Lincoln a frozen dinner] Here's your dinner, Lincoln!

Lincoln: Thanks, Mom. Hey, will you help me with my science project? I have to build a volcano.

Rita: Sure, honey. Just give me five minutes. Leni and i are gonna practice putting on makeup.

Leni comes in with her lipstick on her eyes and her eye shadow on her lips and Rita takes her upstairs. Lincoln sees Logan walking by.

Lincoln: Hey, Logan, can you help me with my volcano?

Logan: Sure, bro. Just give me five minutes. I am gonna help Lisa with her science experiment.

Logan head upstairs and Lisa follow. Lynn and their father come walking by.

Lincoln: Hey, Dad, can you help me with my volcano?

Lynn Sr: Sure, son. Just give me five minutes while i give Lynn some baseball pointers. [tosses a ball at a fragile object which breaks and scares Cliff] And there's your first pointer, Lynn: never play ball in the house.

They head outside and Leni and Rita return.

Rita: Well, you're doing much better, Leni, but you're still venturing into...clown territory.

Lincoln: Mom, can we work on my volcano now?

Rita: Oh, five minutes, honey. I promised Lori I'd take a magazine quiz with her. [goes upstairs with Lori]

Lincoln: [getting frustrated] But i could really use some help! Dad, can you-

Lynn Sr: [with Luna and a saxophone] Five more minutes, pal. I promised Luna I'd help her lay down some funky grooves.

The toilet flushes.

Lana: Hey, Dad! I clogged the toilet so you could teach me how to fix it!

Lynn Sr: I'm a little busy at the moment! Ask Logan to teach you!

Logan: [o-s] I already got my hands full!

Lynn Sr: Dang it. Umm, give me five minutes, Lincoln! I mean, Lana! [starts playing sax which scares Cliff who tosses Lynn's baseball right at him to stop] Ow!

Anastasia: [walks in] Hey, Uncle.

Lincoln: Hey, Anastasia. What brings you in here?

Anastasia: It's too crowded in the living room and Jerry couldn't sleep because of it. [looks at Jerry] The poor thing.

Lincoln: [to the viewers] In a family as big as mine, getting attention from your parents or older siblings is no easy thing. [sighs and turns to his volcano] How am i ever gonna finish this?

Scene fades from Lincoln's volcanic standpoint to Clyde's which shows a diorama of him and Lori scaling it.

Lincoln: Wow! It's finished? Your volcano is awesome, Clyde! I even love how you put people on it.

Clyde: Thanks. That's Lori and me. We're climbing down to get married 'cause Bobby fell in and is being devoured by lava.

Lincoln: Ouch! It really did a number on his face. This project isn't due for a week. How'd you get it so fast?

Clyde: My dads helped. We spent the whole weekend working on it.

Lincoln: Logan or my parents never give me that kind of attention. They're always rushing off to help one of my sisters.

Clyde: Why don't you bring your volcano to my house after school? My dads will have plenty of time to help you. After we go pick up Anastasia from daycare that is.

Lincoln: Really? That would be great!

They walk by Filp's juice cart.

Clyde: Oh, hang on, Lincoln. I'm gonna get volcano Lori a juice. Running from Bobby's tormented screams has made her thirsty.

[Clyde's house]

Lincoln: [exhausted] Oh, these long school days, man.

Clyde: Tell me about it. But at least we're home now.

Anastasia: So, why are we here again?

Lincoln: So i can get help from Clyde's dads on my volcano. It shouldn't be long.

Anastasia: It better not. I don't want daddy to worry about me not being home on time.

The enter and look on at the fabulous decor.

Lincoln: [enthralled] Wow...i always forget how different your house is from ours!

Clyde: Uh...you're shouting, Lincoln.

Lincoln: Oh, right. Sorry. Force of habit.

Enter Clyde's dads.

Howard: Hi, fellas. And M'lady . Come on in.

Lincoln: Hi, Mr. McBride. Hi, Mr. McBride.

Harold: Ooh, nice structure, Lincoln. Ready to get work?

Lincoln: You mean like now?

Harold: [takes the volcano and chuckles] Of course.

Lincoln's eyes beam and he runs across the floor, but Howard stops him.

Howard: Oh, hang on, Lincoln. You have a loose button on your shirt.

Anastasia: Wait, Uncle Lincoln got buttons on his shirt?

Lincoln: Oh. Well, i, uh...

Howard: [chuckles] No worries. [sews the button back in tight]

Lincoln: Thanks, Mr. McBride.

Harold: Great good heavens! It looks like the sole of both you guys shoes is about to fall off!

Lincoln: Oh, that's just-

Harold: No worries. [takes one shoe off Lincoln and Anastasia] I'll just give them a little tappity tap.

Anastasia: Umm, okay...

Lincoln: Wow. You're not gonna just a stapler on that?

Howard: Hold up, Lincoln. Your sideburns are uneven.

Lincoln: I know. Usually, i just tilt my head.

Howard: No worries.

Howard and Harold give Lincoln's sideburns a little trim to make them even.

Harold: Perfect!

Howard: Hot towel? [as he and Harold offer one to Lincoln]

[Dinnertime]

Howard: Sorry dinner's nothing fancy. Just roasted organic chicken with homemade marinade.

Harold: And vegetables from our garden. Help yourself, Lincoln and...Anastasia, right? [Anastasia nods] Well, dig in!

Anastasia: I don't know about you, Uncle. But this looks and smells SOOOOOO good! [started eating]

Lincoln: There's no foil to peel back?

Harold: [chuckles] Foil. LOL. That's a hot one, Lincoln.

Howard: [dims the lights and turns on the music] Clyde, how was your day?

Clyde: It was great. I lasted 37 seconds in Dodgeball.

Howard: Did you hear that, Hare Bare? Thirty. Seven. Seconds.

Harold: Good job, son.

Anastasia: [thinking] If that is very impressive for them, then he's not good at Dodgeball.

Harold: What about you two? How was your day?

Lincoln and Anastasia: [coughing a little at that response] What? Us? You wanna know about our day was? Now?

They looks on with ecstasy and a choir suddenly starts playing.

Choir: HALLELUJAH!!!

But it turns out it was Howard's phone's ringtone.

Howard: Oops. Sorry. [turns phone off]

Clyde: You know the rules, Dad: no phones at the dinner table!

Lincoln: Seriously? What about ants?

Anastasia: Or pitching machines?

Lincoln and Anastasia: Or toilet snakes?

Harold laughs at such notions.

Harold: You two are so funny! [offering Lincoln and Anastasia more food] Here. Have seconds.

Lincoln and Anastasia looks on ecstatic again and Howard's phone rings again.

Howard: Oh. I thought I turned this off.

Now they're relaxing in massage chairs with facial masks on and their voices wobble as they speak due to the chairs' vibrations.

Howard: Sorry we didn't finish your volcano tonight, Lincoln. Why don't you and your niece come back tomorrow?

Harold: It's Mani-Pedi Night at the McBride House.

Lincoln and Anastasia: Ooh, we love Italian food!

Harold: [laughs some more] You two are too much.

Lincoln turns off his massage chair.

Lincoln: [happily to the viewers] I gotta say, getting some undivided attention is pretty sweet. And now, if you'll excuse me, i gotta give some undivided attention to my hammies. [turns the chair back on] Awww, yeah.

A little while later, Lincoln and Anastasia left Clyde's house and walked home together.

Anastasia: As much as i don't like Clyde due to his creepy affection he got for Aunty Lori, i have to give him and his dads some props for making our day better. Even though i can't move my arms due to the vaccinations.

Lincoln: You can say that again. How do you think our house is holding up?

Anastasia: I don't know. Let's see.

Lincoln opens the door to his house and him and Anastasia witnesses Lori carrying Lily who has a sticky diaper and is crying over about it, Lana riding Lola's princess car...

Lana: YAHOO!

...Luan chasing Lola with pies that she hits her with, Lisa carrying a radiating teddy bear with her tongs...

Lisa: Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh!

...and an explosion from said teddy bear.

Anastasia: Looks like it's holding up perfectly to me.

The chaos in the house causes Lincoln to sigh with despair and slam the door. Enter Lynn playing football.

Lynn: Hey, guys! [examines them] You two look different.

Lincoln: My sideburns are even.

Anastasia: And our sole of your shoes are fixed too.

Lynn: No, it's more than that. Your skins is glowing, both of you look taller, and you two smell... [smells them] ...organic Brussels sprouts? Okay you two, what gives?

Lincoln: We spent tonight at Clyde's. His dads with my volcano and served us food with no foil and asked us about our day!

Anastasia: It was magnificent.

Lynn: Get out! That sounds amazing! [thinks for a second] Hey, do think they could help me with my baseball swing?

Lincoln: Sure. I think Clyde said one of his dads played ball in college l. Why don't you come over after school tomorrow?

Lynn: Oh, that would be awesome! [playfully punches him arm]

Lincoln: Ow! Lynn, do you mind? Clyde's dads just gave me my vaccinations.

Anastasia: Mine too. So, don't try anything, missy.

The next day, Lincoln, Lynn, and Anastasia are just leaving Clyde's house.

Harold: Goodbye!

Howard: Take care!

Lynn: I just can't believe Mr. McBride spent a whole hour coaching me! And how about that dinner? What was that special thing they cooked again?

Anastasia: Are you serious? You don't know what meat is? I swear something is wrong with this family.

Lynn: Yeah. So what if i don't? It was amazing anyway. [to Lincoln] Ah, I'd punch you, but my arm is sore from the vaccinations.

They return home to find Luna out front.

Luna: Hey, dudes. [examines them] Wait. You look different. [pulls in their arms] Your nail beds are rockin'. [smells them] And do i smell meat? [suspicious] What's going on?

Anastasia: Wait. Before any of you two answer that, can we appreciate Aunty Luna that she knows what meat is unlike a certain somebody?

Lynn: Oh, bite me!

Lincoln: We've been hanging out with Clyde's dads. They've been giving us all kinds of one-on-one time.

Luna: Rad! Hey, you think they could jam with me? Dad's got a wicked canker and he can't blow the sax anymore.

Anastasia: HA!

Lynn: Sure. One of Clyde's dads told me he was in a band in college.

Lincoln: [sternly] Okay, but this is it. If anymore of you find out about Clyde's dads, the undivided attention is going get pretty divided.

Luna: Don't worry, bro. [mimes sealing her lips, rolling down a car window, tossing a key out of it, and rolling it back up] That was a car window.

Lincoln and Lynn: Yeah, we get it.

Anastasia: I don't know what that Chuck guy been giving you, but i gonna need it to stop.

Cut to Luna jamming with Howard and assuring Lincoln and Anastasia everything's good. Lynn is practicing ball with Harold.

Lincoln: Well, this is okay. I can handle sharing with a couple of sisters. It could be worse.

Anastasia: I feel a storm coming.

Suddenly, an uninvited guest appears.

Luan: And the woodpecker said, "That's why i tell knock-knock jokes". [laughs as Howard accompanies with a rimshot.

Lincoln: [confused] Luan?

Enter Lori.

Lori: Mr. McBride, would you say I'm more of an Autumn or a Winter?

Howard: You are definitely a Summer.

Lincoln: [shocked] Lori?!

Clyde: [bursts in] Lori? My future wife? Here with my dads?! What do i do? What do i do? Oh, i know! [faints in Lincoln's arms]

Anastasia: And now I'm back hating him again.

Enter Lana in Lola's princess car.

Lana: YAHOO! MR. MCBRIDE, YO!

Enter Lisa in a radiation suit and holding a beaker.

Lisa: Oh, i can't believe you guys have sodium salicylate on the premises!

Enter Leni, Lola, and Lucy.

Leni, Lola, and Lucy: MR. MCBRIDE! [rush over to Howard]

The girls are starting to oveecrowd Howard.

Howard: [panicking] HAROLD!

Harold: What is it, Howie? [gasps upon seeing the other girls] Great Betty Buckley...

Lily: [crawling in naked] Poo-poo!

Howard and Harold: THE CARPET!!!

Harold tosses the newspaper to Howard who then spreads it out to leave a trail for Lily.

Lily: [crawling on the paper] Poo-poo, poo-poo...

Anastasia: Yep i was right. A storm was coming in the form of my aunties. Also, i really want to punch you for that "it could be worse" comment.

Lincoln: [angrily turns to Luna] Hey! You blabbed our secret to everyone?

Luna: No, bro! I would never do that! But...i may have sung it in the shower.

Flashback to Luna taking a shower and singing.

Luna: Undivided attention / So good, but it can't be mentioned / One-on-one time is totally cool / Hangin' with Clyde's dads after school

It's revealed that the others overheard this and got the idea. End flashback.

Luna: Sorry. I was just so amped.

Cut to a practice funeral held by Lucy with Howard as with Howard as the corpse.

Lucy: Dearly beloved, we are gathered today to say goodbye-

Leni: Guys, i can't find my bedroom!

Howard: Remember, Leni, you're not in your own house.

Lucy: [silences him] No talking at your own funeral.

While the girls are having fun Clyde's house, Lincoln is still struggling to get his volcano finished. But he wasn't the only one struggling to get his undivided attention. Anastasia isn't happy that her undivided attention also went out the window as she sits on the McBride's couch with her hands cross looking angrily.

Anastasia: [highly upset] We found the one place to get undivided attention and this happens. It's ashame really and I'm getting really upset by this. [sees Lola's princess car driving pass with no one in it; growls angrily] This is becoming a nightmare! Screw this! I'm going to find Uncle Lincoln and have him to keep me home!

Anastasia got up and went to the dining room to get Lincoln to take her home. However when she got there, Lincoln was already gone.

Anastasia: [confused] Huh? Where did he go?

The Loud House. Lincoln is resuming his volcano by himself. But he gets some help.

Rita: Oh, Lincoln. There you are. I got some more materials for your volcano.

Lynn Sr: [with a pot of sauce] And i made my special marinara sauce for lava.

Lincoln: [elated] Wow! Thanks! You guys remembered my volcano!

Logan: Of course we did, little bro. We always planning to help.

Lynn Sr: We just needed to find some time.

Rita: We're sorry it took so long, honey. Did you do something to your sideburns?

Just then, a car comes careening down the street, drops something off, and drives away. Anastasia and her aunties are home now.

Lynn: We broke Clyde's dads.

Rita: You did what?

Anastasia: Correction, y'all broke his dads. I just wanted to come home. And Aunty Lisa simply suggested a sleepover.

Lincoln: [to the viewers] Not everyone can 12 kids like Mom, Dad, and Logan can.

Back at Clyde's house, Howard is stressed out from the ordeal that was the Loud Sisters.

Clyde: Hey, Dad, what did you think of my future bride, Lori?

Howard: [traumatized] Which one was she? There were so many... [shudders]

Harold: [disappointed in himself] I'm sorry. Frozen dinners were all i could manage.

Clyde's dinner is still frozen and the fork is jammed in the ice surrounding it.

Clyde: Dad, i think you forgot to- [notices his dads are exhausted and sleeping from what they were put through with the Loud Girls.

Back to the Loud House.

Lincoln: [to the viewers] I guess i really underestimated my parents and Logan. Even if it takes a while, they eventually find time for all of us, everyday. No wonder Dad has a wicked canker.

The girls sans start begging for a little attention from their parents.

Logan and his parents: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it! Five minutes, girls. We're helping Lincoln now.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Lincoln: It's finished! Ahem. Drum roll, please. [drum roll commences] Three...two...one! [presses a button, causing marinara sauce to splatter everywhere for an eruption]

Anastasia: [tasted the sause] Mmm, marinara sauce.