Disclaimer: Hello, all. Thank you for still loving and reading this story. I'm sorry if updates seem slow, but I'm gonna aim for once a week at least. Don't be afraid to review, I'm nice, I swear. Formalities: I do not own anything related to BBC's Merlin or any of the songs used in the stories. Some of the characters are my own, loosely based around people in my life. The song that I do not own is "I Try" from Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland
The rest of the ride to Ealdor was quiet; Laya silently fuming over what had transpired earlier in the day. Gwaine had decided to join them for the rest of the journey, acting as a guard to the Prince. They all watched Laya as she rode slightly ahead, afraid to aggravate her more.
"Merlin" Arthur whispered, leaning towards his friend. "She's your cousin..Do something."
"Yeah, alright, so she can cut my head off too?" He murmured. "She'd beat you to doing it."
"Exactly, then I'll find someone capable." Arthur said, rolling his eyes. "Better you then me."
The young warlock huffed and rode slightly ahead next to Laya. "Want to talk about it?"
"Not really." She snipped. "I'm still mad at you for last night."
"I said I was sorry." he whined,his shoulders slouching a bit. "Please?"
She sighed. "I don't belong here."
"I know that. You belong..." He glanced at the others out of the side of his eye. "Somewhere else."
"I mean, yeah." She looked down at the reigns in her hands. "But, where I come from women are independent, they don't rely on a knight to protect them. They hope they get the 'knight in shining armor'; but they very rarely get it."
"What do they get?" he asked, smirking a bit.
"An idiot wrapped in tin foil." She replied. "Oh..tin foil is something used to wrapped food in to keep it from going bad. It's shiny."
He nodded. "I can see where you feel out of place." He said, "I have been trying to think of ways to get you home...but..."
"You're afraid of the outcome?"
He nodded, sighing. "They involve things from looking for a spell to burying you." He looked ahead, gently leading their horses in the proper direction. "We might not really be family but I consider you as such."
"Thank you." she said. "For considering me family." She looked down.
Merlin watched her, his brow furrowed. He worried about her a lot. It was hard for him to feel at place her and he lived here; he could only imagine being thrown into stories that to her were only make believe. "Want to ride with me for a bit?" he asked. "Gwaine could lead your horse."
She thought about it. "R-Really?"
He nodded and held his arm out to her, "Come on," he smiled.
"Merlin?" Arthur chimed in from behind them.
"She's tired, sire." he said, putting up the formal mask once again. "She needs to rest a bit but if we stop to rest now, it'll be dark before we get there."
Without prompting, Gwaine took the reigns from her as they stopped the horses and she climbed onto Merlin's. She sat sidways, caged in her cousin's arms, her head on his shoulder.
"Just rest..." he smiled. "Think of home."
"Home..." she murmured, closing her eyes. She hid her head in his neck, a tear falling down her cheek.
"No...no..." He murmured, "I'm sorry. Don't cry." he rubbed her back.
She nodded a bit. "I miss my brother." She whispered.
"I know, love." he whispered. "I know."
"Laya." Gwaine chimed in. "Why not sing us a song from your time?"
Two pairs of eyes turned to look at Gwaine. "You know?" Arthur and Merlin said in unison.
"He was there for that part of the conversation. Honestly, you two, keep up." She sighed. "I could, though if you really want me too."
They all agreed. She sat silently for a moment shuffling through the catalog of songs she had in her head before finally stumbling upon a Disney song from her childhood.
I am not a child now,
I can take care of myself.
I mustn't let them down now;
Mustn't let them see me cry.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
She didn't look at them, she couldn't. She was telling them what she was actually feeling in the moment and it scared her and made her feel sad all at the same time. She missed her brother...her friends but, here, with them she held her head high and kept telling them that she was okay. She felt that she had to keep a strong demeanor in front of them. She kept telling them that she was a strong and independent woman but with song, she was showing her flaws.
I'm too tired to listen.
I'm too old to believe
in all these childish stories
There is no such thing as
Faith
and trust...
and pixie dust.
She looked to the sky. The lyrics felt true to her. Growing up, Camelot...King Arthur...Merlin...his knights... it was all stories that she had grown up with and were told weren't real. But here she was with them. Either it was all a lie and they were real...or this was a very elaborate coma dream. Half the time she couldn't tell which was truth...another half of the time she couldn't be bothered to care. If this was a dream, she was enjoying it.
I try
But it's so hard to believe.
I try
But I can't see what you see.
I try.
I try.
I try.
She felt the tears flow down her cheeks. This was one of the most painful things that she had ever felt. She had felt heart break and lost family members but this hurt so much more then any of that. It was like telling them that she didn't believe in any of this...any of them. She did believe though. Ever since she was a child she believed that Merlin and Arthur really existed even though that history never really pinpointed them.
My whole world is changing
I don't know where to turn
I can't leave you waiting
But I can't stay and watch
the city burn.
Oh, watch it burn.
She bit back a sob as she sang. It was so hard, most of the time. She had been taken from everything she knew and loved and thrust into a whole new world. Even based of the lore that she had read... it doesn't end well...not for Arthur anyway. In everything she had ever read he had either died battle or disappeared. In some he married Guinevere and ended up heart broken because she had cheated on him. But the lore had him all wrong...and she couldn't even tell him. She had to let it play out. It was even dangerous to let him know that she was from a different time.
'Cause I try
But it's so hard to believe.
I try
But I can't see what you see.
I try.
I try.
I try and try
To understand the distance in between
The love I feel,
the things I fear
and every single dream.
Her voice still rang clear, even with the tears clogging her throat. She was so afraid. Throughout their trip she had thought long and hard about the dragons riddle and she had come to a conclusion. She knew in her head that she was right but a part of her wondered what would happen if she was wrong.
I can finally see it
Now I have to believe
All those precious stories.
All the world is made of
Faith
And trust
and pixie dust.
So I'll try,
'Cause I finally believe.
I'll try,
'Cause I can see what you see.
I'll try.
I'll try.
I'll try.
I'll try...
to fly.
She ended her song, still not looking at them. They were silent as they rode. Merlin locked his arms tightly around her, the reigns still tight in his hands. He knew. She knew that he knew. He was smart. If he had told her from the get go that he knew, she knew it would be true.
Merlin broke the silence about five minutes later, saying that they would be there shortly but other then that no words were spoken. They didn't need them. Not now. Right now, they needed to get there.
They rode up directly to his mother's house. Merlin hopped up off his horse, not bothering with the others and ran into the small hutch. They heard his mother say his name in disbelief, then a loud crash and Laya couldn't help giggling.
They emerged a few moments later, Gwaine having helped Laya down and anchoring the horses to a nearby tree. "Mother, you remember Gwaine and Arthur. This is Laya." He said, holding his hand out to her. "If anyone outside of this party asks, she is your niece."
She looked at Laya up and down before smiling. "Of course, how could I forget my lovely niece." She took Laya into her arms and hugged her tightly. Laya felt the emotions well up inside of her. It had been a long time since she had felt such a motherly hug from anyone and here was a woman who barely knew her and held her as if she would disappear.
"We should go inside." She said, wrapping her arms around the two. "We have much to talk about."