Chapter XV
"To an untrained eye, need and love were as easily mistaken for each other as the real master's painting and a forgery." ~ Deb Caletti
It was eleven thirty and finally the dark side of a very well respected man was spread out in black and white in front of Rossi and Gloria. Charlie Blackmore, the man who was supporting peace and helping victims and at the same time he had a gun hobby and a soft spot for rather young women. Reckless, ruthless but social he was close to many local authorities worldwide and that was probably the reason that nobody had looked into his actions twice. The Irish Gun Association just had proved his rather good relationships with gun dealers. He was close with all the American ones in that association. Apparently he had tried to move guns to the US way before now. Why didn't he? The scandal apparently stopped him then. He needed time to rebuild contacts. He got into the Paradise Demons realising that it is better to co-operate with illegal partners that were away from the light already. But why this thing that happened so fast now hadn't happened back then? The taking down of the Paradise Demons had stopped him again? He had stumbled upon the same agent twice and he killed him out of revenge? Blackmore wouldn't have arranged a murder just for that or just because the person was suspicious. There was something that they didn't know and wasn't in those notes.
As Rossi was expecting, though, nothing from these lines was enough to build a solid case against Blackmore back then, not only as the agent's murderer, but as a criminal in general. Even if there were far too many hints, contacts and consistencies with a dangerous profile – the writer of these notes had done an extremely good job –, this guy was extremely careful not to leave hard evidence behind. An expensive lawyer would have extinguished any accusation in half an hour. Given the new facts though they could get something out and Garcia was already combining data. But Gloria shouldn't be beating herself up. There was nothing that she could have done earlier. However, that hadn't calmed her down.
David kept watching her closely. She was focused. To an outside watcher, it would like they were working any regular case, but he wasn't an outside watcher. He could see the tension beneath the surface. He noticed that she was shifting a bit in the chair in front of his desk. Her back was hurting from the uncomfortable sitting for such a long time. But she was too proud to complain.
"I'm gonna make us some coffee.", he announced when there was nothing more to say about the guy, standing up.
She nodded and he left. Gloria was trying so hard to remember any detail more. But there was nothing. Those last days before what had happened Richard and she were so busy with the Paradise Demons that cases not directly relevant with them were left aside. At home, occupied with their personal issues, they weren't talking about the job, at least not as it concerned the cases. What was the point of those issues finally? She was left with nothing but trying to solve his enigma and she couldn't even do that… She took the FBI file from the desk and she sat in the sofa trying to relax her aching muscles and her nervousness.
David returned to find her on the left side of the couch of his office, fidgeting her hands, probably craving for a smoke. He couldn't help with that. He left his cup on the coffee table in front of them and sat beside her, taking the file from her lap.
"Let's have a short break.", he said, giving her the other cup.
She took a sip and she didn't speak. She was shutting herself off. In any other circumstances, Dave would have smiled sadly, her similarity with Hotch was more than obvious. Instead of talking, they were hiding everything, stubbornly refusing to talk, prefering to boil inside like lions in a cage. But she used to talk to him. Now that the façade and hiding of her real job had dropped, she used to share even more. But she wasn't opening up to him at that moment and that was what he couldn't get. She had said so many other things and she wasn't talking about 'this'? Deep down he always knew, at the end of the day, and she was aware of that. There should be more matters holding her off, matters that he didn't know or couldn't imagine.
She took another sip from the cup and she put it on the table, resting her elbows on her knees, already hyper vigilant by Dave's closeness and the monsters in her head. She could guess he was going to say something again.
"Talk, stella mia. Don't build everything up. It's not good for you.", his right hand went on her shoulder rubbing it softly.
"What's good for me is a whole different subject.", she replied coldly.
"That's the subject that matters the most, though."
"Does it, Dave?", she asked simply.
She didn't know why that came out of her mouth just like that. Probably his hand distracting her was responsible.
David was for short surprised. Was she really asking that? An alarm rang in his profiling mind. No, no. It couldn't be that, could it?
"Easter is right in one thing. You are the one that's here.", he answered, "Of course it does. What type of question is that?"
She could hear the concern in his voice. She hadn't turned her eyes to him. It was better not to reveal more.
"Nothing. I'm just bitter. Sorry.", she said quickly.
David let a breath. She was worrying him too much. This pain wasn't derived only from memories. The recent events were just bringing in the surface matters buried for a long time. His hand moved from her shoulder to her neck, beneath her red curls, massaging tenderly.
Gloria had to hold her breath so as not to exhale loudly. It didn't matter how many times she had flinched under his touch, it always had the same effect on her. It felt right, secure. Ironic as it was the hard spy had missed the feeling of just being touched, touched with care, with sincere care and he was giving it so generously. But it wasn't only that. His touch was melting her in so many other ways, too.
He coaxed her face towards his and he finally met her eyes. They were unreadable all over again. Damn that ability of hers to build walls and camouflage them like that, leaving him with no idea how to take them down.
"What is it, stella mia?", he asked pleadingly, "What's torturing you?"
She couldn't express any answer. She had never learnt to put emotions into words. She had only learnt to hide, to escape. She knew he could make her forget her burdens even for a while. She was feeling so alone right now and he was there, him and those feelings that she never got the chance to analyse, because they never got that luxury. That warmth of his was so inviting and at that moment she didn't have any power to fight it.
He wanted to hold her. He always had a way with her because of whatever was there, in the thin air between their bodies. Probably only through that he could console her. If he hadn't been so tired, if she hadn't looked so sad, he would have been more careful with the luring dangers. But he wasn't. So he encouraged her to fall in his arms and he hugged her.
He felt her pressing her body against his more than for a normal friendly hug. His flesh was far too much aware of her anyway and he felt it instantly. He should have backed off. Everything was wrong. But damn his craving for her, he made the wrong move to pull his face back only to be inches away from hers. Dave didn't register when her mouth was on his and when he was kissing her back.
She lashed on his lips like they were water and she was dying from thirst. He responded instantly and that just fueled her, giving her back all the energy that she had lost that day. Her brain was fogged. They had to catch that monster but for a moment she needed to forget. She needed to forget the pain, the shadows, the nightmares. Otherwise, she would lose her mind into the darkness. She needed to feel, to feel alive, to feel one more time wanted, cared. She needed to remind herself that she had tried to move on. Only David could remind her of that. Only him he could remind her that her heart could stir again…
She was attacking his lips, making them open; her hands went on his neck and chest, caressing and gripping. If he was thinking, he would have sensed that there was desperation in her actions. She straddled his lap pressing herself fully on him. She wasn't planning on letting him think.
And he wasn't thinking. David's logical mind didn't have any time to kick in. He was kissing her back with affection, mesmerised by a taste and smell he never forgot. His hands sneaked to her torso and sides, messing her blouse. He didn't even think that they were in his office. Hotch was just in a distance of some meters and behind a thin wall. Thanks to God the blinds were closed. But the door was unlocked. Anyone could walk on him while feeling up a much younger woman, a liaised agent. It didn't matter. The passionate woman that he knew was still there. That mattered. And he wanted her. All that time he had tried to resist. But with her body moving over his, he couldn't anymore. The pale skin was getting warmer and warmer. She wanted him, too. That was what mattered. His tongue was devouring her mouth. His hand was massaging the soft curves of her chest over her clothes, her muffled moans filling his ears. Was it just lust? Did he just want to make her body his? Was it love? Did he want to take everything that bothered her away? David had no idea. All that mattered was that he had her in his arms wreathing again.
It was only when she tilted her head back giving him full access to her neck and a good view through v of her blouse that his logic kicked in and not only the logic... It was the heart that kicked in first.
She was wild with him in those moments; he knew that, even if the fingers of his one hand were enough to count those moments. But he could always tame her, calm her down. That moment, though, was too abrupt. She wasn't just seducing him. She was provoking him. She needed a release. She wasn't asking for it. She was taking it. She wasn't herself. She was using her body to distract herself and he couldn't let her do it. He cared for her more than just having sex with her and then letting her beat herself up even more. He couldn't bear any more pain on her. At that very moment David Rossi realised that maybe he wasn't just attracted to her.
She sensed his hesitation and started sucking at the angle between his neck and his chest.
"Gloria...", he tried to talk. He had to stop this before he wasn't able to.
"Don't talk, David, please. ", she spoke between kisses, her hands going to open his shirt, "Just..."
"No.", Rossi said louder, grabbing her hands that had managed to open the first buttons. "Not like this."
He pushed her back firmly. Her eyes found his and then they dropped in embarrassment. She realised what she had done. Damn herself and her damn ways of wanting to forget instead of facing whatever she had gone through and she was going through. She had thrown herself to David like some cheap woman would have, just because she needed to forget. And she messed it up. He was possibly with another woman. Plus, those years ago, he didn't know what he knew now. She didn't have that disgusting scar that her blouse was covering. Who said that he would ever want her after all?
"I... I don't know what... I shouldn't...", she murmured anxiously, trying to get up, run away, avoiding meeting his eyes, scared of seeing disgust or disappointment.
But he didn't loosen his grip on her hands. He had to talk to her; otherwise she would go and crawl in her hole. He knew that she just wished that the earth could swallow her. He wanted her to listen, like that and there, that he wasn't offended by all that. He was equally responsible and more than willing to give her what she urged but he didn't for her own best. Because, when all of this that had brought there ended, she would regret it.
"Look at me, cara.", he instructed softly but she didn't.
"I'm sorry, Dave. Just let me go!", she said more intensely.
Her eyes were watering. Everything that had happened that day was coming down on her, accelerated by the shame and the guilt. No she wasn't going to cry. No, she hadn't cried since that day in Ireland. She wasn't going to now, not in front of him, not after this! She pulled her hands harder from his grip and he resisted. But her movement was abrupt and to the wrong side and it caused her back to hurt. Her face expressed pain and David let her hands instantly. That was all she needed to just take off from the room.
"Gloria!", Rossi's voice came from the office next door, as Hotch was finishing the update with Strauss. It wasn't loud but loud enough to be heard.
Erin got closer to the window and she saw the younger woman rushing out of the room straightening her blouse nervously.
"Keep me posted, Aaron.", she said strictly and she stepped out of the door.
Hotch watched Strauss as she walked towards her own office and not towards David's. He dropped the folders on his desk. He had to straighten some things with his friend about this soap opera. Which part of the 'be careful' advice hadn't he understood?
Emily, JJ and Reid had returned in the conference room. Emily had tried to understand the code of the message from MI6 but since she couldn't, she had asked for Reid's assistance. They had their lifelike robot anyway. JJ, on the other hand was deep in thought reading Hathaway's file.
"According to MI6, they uncovered this message while monitoring the communication of a Black Cross' security ship.", Emily explained.
"To be honest, this code looks a lot like codes used by intelligence agencies but not quite.", the genius remarked.
"That's why they kept the record…", Emily started.
"Can I have a look at this?", JJ spoke suddenly and Reid, gave the paper to her surprised.
Emily wasn't. She knew that JJ for the year she was away had worked for the State Department. She had come across various things.
"That's for sure a message between spies.", JJ said after going through the text, "It is actually a mixture of communication codes."
"Why haven't they looked into that already?", Reid asked.
"To look into something like this, it has to happen twice, even thrice or to be linked to something else. Believe me the amount of work for spy-monitoring is too much. The planet is pretty filled with people communicating in codes.", JJ replied leaving the young man even more surprised with her knowledge.
"Black Cross is a security company. They probably use codes for safety reasons.", Reid commented.
"What Morgan said stuck in my mind.", JJ carried on, "Hathaway acting dumb and clever and then dumb again, appearing here and there. This guy jumps around far too much, don't you think? Pilot licence, self-defence, gun handling. This sounds a lot like a criminal but it can also sound a lot like…"
"An agent.", Emily followed her way of thinking.
"Him standing in front of the camera isn't by chance. Spies do that when they have lost contact with their handlers. He isn't stupid. He knows there is a camera. He is trying to communicate.", JJ said.
"But who else had access to that video except us?", Emily asked.
"Maybe he is trying to communicate with us.", Reid replied.
"But he is not working for us.", JJ clarified.
"He is trying to make us follow him into something.", Emily concluded.
"Following is all about who is leading." ~ Unknown
Another soon update! I love writing these parts and I'm in such a good mood these days!
Lots of drama, a step in the case and a big-big hint about Gloria and David's complicated past.
Rossi messed it up completely, though. He was the one in condition to keep some control…! I will love writing Hotch straightening him up...!
Just a short notice: This story takes place in late May 2013. The episode 200 hasn't happened yet, so nobody knows about JJ's experience in the State Department apart from Emily who has suspected some things in the plane on the way to Paris.
Spoiler: Rossi gets a feeling of what Clyde is afraid of. As for Erin, she isn't going to ignore what she saw.
Leave a word to let me know what you think! ;)