A Tattle's Tale

Episode begins with the Loud kids in Lori and Leni's bedroom. Lynn and Lana are having a pillow fight, Luna is bouncing Lily, Luan is braiding Lucy's hair as she reads an Edger Allen Poe book, Leni is giving Lori a pedicure, Logan is brushing Anastasia's hair, and Lincoln is telling something to Lisa.

Lincoln: So then, bam! My remote control plane smashed right into Dad's disco ball, and it broke into a million pieces!

Lynn: [gasps] Oh no! [ducks as Lana whacks Leni with a pillow, knocking her off the bed] The one he got from winning the Royal Woods "Dance Your Pants Off" contest?! He's so proud of that thing!

Lincoln: I know. If he ever finds out, I'll be as dead as disco!

Lori: Don't worry, you're not the only one hiding something from Dad.

Luna, Lisa, Lynn, Lana, Anastasia, and Lily: Oooooooooh!

Lori: I accidentally scratching the car with my rhinestone purse!

Flashback. Lori is seen driving up to a parking space, and turns the car off. When she opens the door, she accidentally dents the car next to her. Realizing this, she tries to inch herself away, unknowingly leaving jagged scratches on the side of the van with her purse. End flashback.

Luna: You think that's bad? Remember the blackout last week?

Flashback. Luna sets the volume on her speakers to "Super Max" and strums her guitar once, causing a citywide blackout. End flashback.

Logan: I'm not surprised that you did something like that, it's more of how Mom and Dad didn't find out.

Lucy: Yeah. Besides, i rather enjoy the darkness. Speaking of which, does anyone know how to get black paint out of lace? I painted Mom's wedding dress for my dark betrothal to Edwin.

Flashback. Lucy is seen descending the basement stairs wearing Rita's wedding dress, completely black. In the basement are a bunch of dolls looking towards Edwin, Lucy's vampire bust. End flashback.

Anastasia: I'm surprised grandma didn't find out.

Lana: What about you, Logan? What did you do?

Logan: Well, let's just say i took a few bucks from Dad's wallet when he and mom were asleep.

Flashback. Logan is seen sneaking into his parents' room and heads toward their dresser. He picked up the wallet, took a few bucks from it, place the wallet back down where it was, and slowly walked out the room without waking his parents up. End flashback.

Logan: Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. What about you, Anastasia? What did you do?

Anastasia: What i do, huh? Hmmmm. There's a lot of things that i did bad so i can't think of one. Hmmmm. [realize] Ooh! I remember that time broke some of the dishes and quickly blame the cat for it.

Flashback. Rita and Lynn Sr. are in the kitchen upset that some of the dishes are broken and asked Anastasia who was the culprit.

Lynn Sr.: Okay, Anastasia, who broke some of the dishes?

Anastasia: It was the cat.

Cliff looked at Anastasia upset before getting kicked out of the house. End flashback.

Lucy: You really are evil.

Anastasia: Serve him right for telling to eat Jerry. I have no regrets.

Lincoln: [to the viewers] What can i say? We're not angels. Sometimes, we mess up. But the great thing is, if you need to get something off your chest, you can always trust your family members. [a knock at the door is heard] Well, not all of them.

Lincoln walks up to the door and opens it, revealing to be Lola. She enters the room]

Lola: Whatcha guys talkin about?

Lisa: Quantum physics!

Lynn: Monster trucks!

Lori: Bobby!

Leni: Politics!

Lynn: Baseball!

Luan: Jokes!

Lana: Global warming!

Logan: Tournaments!

Anastasia: Time Travel!

Lola: You're telling secrets again, aren't you? It's not fair! How come Anastasia get included but not me?! I never get included!

Lincoln: That's because you're a tattle-tale, Lola.

Lola: [scoffs] i am NOT! [Lincoln and the others look at her with disbelief while a cricket chirps] Okay, I'll admit i used to be a tattle-tale, but i changed! [everybody still doesn't believe her as they murmur to each other. Lola growls loudly and tosses her tiara aside in fury] MOM!!!!! THEY WON'T LET ME IN THEIR SECRET SECRETS CLUB!!!!!

Anastasia: Man, what a snitch.

As Lola storms out of the room, Lincoln quickly shuts the door. Lisa checks her list of secrets.

Lisa: Mmm. So where were we?

Lincoln: I broke Dad's disco ball, Luna caused the blackout, Lori scratched the car, Lucy ruined Mom's wedding dress, Logan stole money from Dad's wallet, and Anastasia broked some dishes and blamed Cliff for it. Who's next?

Lana: [raising her hand] Ooh! Ooh! So you know how Dad was yelling at Charles for chewing up his boots [giggles] That was me!

Everyone begin laughing.

Luan: [with realization] Wait a second. Weren't those steel toe?

The next day. Lincoln wakes up and sees Lola looking at him with a wide smile. Lincoln yells in shock.

Lola: Morning, Linky! [pulls out a fancy suit] I need a butler for my tea party. You're it.

Lincoln: Yeah. That's not happening. [he puts his bedsheets back on]

Lola: Oh, really? [she swipes the bedsheets off of Lincoln. He looks up] I hate for Dad to find out who broke his precious disco ball!

Lincoln: [gasps loudly, realizing that Lola knows his secret] Who told you about that?!

Lola shrugs her shoulders, pretending not to know. Lincoln is seen wearing the suit Lola provided.

Lola: Top me off, Linkington. [Lincoln tips the teacup over] I don't hear any tea!

Lincoln sighs, and tips the teacup over while making a whooshing sound to make it sound like tea is pouring out.

Backyard. Lucy is writing in prom book, and Lola approaches her with her princess car.

Lola: Hey, Luce. Want to play "Drive me around while i practice my pageant wave"?

Lucy: Hard pass.

Lola: Okay. [drives around for a little bit] Maybe I'll go play "Dress up" with Mom's wedding gown instead. [Lucy looks up with realization as crow caws. Lola gasps] Oh, wait. I can't, because someone ruined it.

Lucy: [gasps loudly, realizing she knows about her secret] Who told you about? [Lola shrugs her shoulders, pretending not to know. She moves into the passenger seat as Lucy sits down on the driver's seat. Lola motions Lucy to start driving] Sigh. [Lucy dons a chauffeur's cap, and begins driving as Lola begins waving]

Later in the kitchen, Logan is helping Rita with the dishes.

Lola: Hey, Logan. Can i have a few dollars?

Logan: Sorry, sis. I don't have enough money to give to anyone at the moment.

Lola: Oh, that's fine, Logan. I would go ask Dad for some, but he doesn't have enough money either. Guess some people like to steal money from others.

Logan: [realizing Lola knows his secret] How did you-

Logan stops talking, realizing that his mother is right next to him. Logan took out a few bucks from his bucks and gave them to Lola.

Lola: Thanks, Logan! [leaves]

Rita: What was Lola talking about?

Logan: Nothing, Mom. Just nothing.

Lana and Lola's room. By now, Lola has forced all of her siblings into doing menial tasks for her. Luna is playing a mandolin, Lynn is painting Lola's toenails, Lana is dressed fancy, Lincoln is back to being Lola's waiter, and Logan is a maid.

Luna: [playing the mandolin, irate] With a moo moo here, and a moo moo there-

Lola: [correcting Luna] Uh... I believe i said he had a pig.

Luna: [through clenched teeth, more irate] With a oink oink here, and an oink oink there...

Logan: This is embarrassing.

Lincoln: It really is. Now i know how you guys feel when i posted videos of all of you during your embarrassing moments.

Lola: Hey, you two! Less talking, more working! Now get to it!

Lincoln looks at Lola upset while Logan growls at her.

Lola: How's my homework coming, Lis

Lisa: [pulling up a sheet of paper that has the letters of the alphabet made up of different shaped pasta noodles] I'm up to the letter "S".

Lola: Hmm. Make the macaroni a little crooked. I don't want my teacher getting suspicious. [chuckles. Claps twice] Jester! How about a joke?

Luan: [dressed as a jester, unenthusiastically] Why do chicken coups only have two doors? 'Cause if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans. Ha ha ha ha ha. Get it?

Lola: Yes! [laughs] Isn't this fun, everyone?

As Lola laughs at the fun she's having, her siblings all grumble in frustration, knowing they're not having fun.

Lori and Leni's room. The kids are having another meeting.

Lori: Well, i think we all know why we're here.

Logan: You darn right we do! That little brat somehow knows our secrets, and she been torturing us ever since!

Lynn: [suspiciously] And i bet it was Anastasia who told her! Since she wasn't in her room with us earlier!

Anastasia: Get real, Aunty! You know me and her don't get along with each other! Besides, she came up to the attic to blackmail too earlier when i was taking a nap!

Flashback. Anastasia is seen taking a nap when Lola enters and woke her up.

Lola: Hey, Anastasia. I want you to comb my hair while singing me a song. I just thought that-

Anastasia: No. I don't want to spend time with you, nor do i do stuff for slaves.

Lola: Oh, i see. It will be a real shame if my Mom and Dad found out that it was you who broke those dishes.

Anastasia: Tell them whenever you want. I don't care.

Lola: If you say so. Oh, and while I'm at it, i can probably tell Logan about your "other" secret.

Anastasia: What other secret?

Lola: You know what I'm talking about. I talking about you and David going out with each other. It will be a real shame if Logan found out and forbid you from seeing him again.

Anastasia: You must really want a death wish, don't you? If so, i will be happy to make that happen in a heartbeat. Because if you tell my Dad about David, i swear on your life, i will take you to an alternate universe where nothing but an empty wasteland and LEAVE YOU THERE TO ROT TILL YOU IS NOTHING BUT BONES!!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!!

A wall of fire burns in the background behind her, along with a cultist choir. Lola slowly walked backward away from Anastasia, terrified at what she said.

Anastasia: I thought so.

End flashback.

Anastasia: Therefore, it's not me. [suspiciously] But clearly, we've got a rat!

Leni: [thinking Anastasia is referring to a real rat, horrified] EW! WHERE?!

Lisa: [to Leni] No, Leni. A "rat" is an informal term for a "snitch". [to everyone else] So which one of low-lifes is it?

All the kids begin to fight, blaming each one of them for being the rat. During their squabble, Lincoln flies out, and lands on something that pierces his butt.

Lincoln: Yowch! [he pulls the item from his butt, revealing to be Lola's tiara] What the? [as he examines the tiara, he notices a microphone attached to it. He realizes something] GUYS, STOP! [the other kids cease their fighting] I know who the rat is, and her name rhymes with "granola".

Leni: [pulls up Lisa] Lisa?

Lincoln: [facepalms] No, it's Lola! She put a microphone in her tiara, and eavesdropped on our meeting!

Flashback to yesterday. Lola growls loudly and tosses her tiara aside in fury.

Lola: MOM!!!!! THEY WON'T LET ME IN THEIR SECRET SECRETS CLUB!!!!!

As Lola was yelling for her Mom, her tiara landed on the floor. The camera zooms in on the tiara, revealing the microphone. End flashback.

Anastasia: [observing the tiara] Huh. I have to hand it to the pig for putting a microphone in her tiara to listen in on our meeting.

Lori: Well, now we know who the rat is. But what do we do about it?

Lana: Yeah, she still has all our secrets!

Lincoln: [theorizing] But what if we had one of hers?

Lynn: Fat chance. Lola's a pro. She covers her tracks.

Lincoln: [determined] Everyone makes mistakes, even Lola!

Logan: Lincoln's right! She gotta have some secrets, and we about to find out what they are!

Anastasia: Alright! Detective Anastasia is on the case!

The next morning. Lisa is sorting cereal bits for Lola, the pink marshmallows in a bowl marked "YES" while the regular bits go in another bowl marked "YUCK".

Lisa: Just 10 more minutes, and I'll have all your cereals separated for you, Lola.

Lola: Oh, good job, Lisa. Don't let any of that icky bran mix with those yummy marshmallows. [looks up at Luna playing a double bass] Uh, smooth jazz, Luna? [chuckles] Nicr try. How 'bout a little adult contemporary instead?

Luna: [acting] Sure! Anything for you, sis!

She plays a different line; Lynn is now painting Lola's toes.

Lynn: Almost done with the second coat! Then onto the third!

Enter Logan with a plate of cookies.

Logan: And here's your cookies, your Majesty.

Lola: Nicely done, Logan!

While Lola closes her eyes and eats her cookies, Logan and Lynn gives Lincoln and Anastasia the signal. They sneaks every nook and cranny until they finds a secret note under Lola's mattress.

Lincoln: Aha! [grabs the note]

If you're reading this, you must be snooping. Get out of my room...or else. XOXO Lola

Lincoln and Anastasia: [reading it together] If you're reading this, you must be snooping. Get out of my room...or else. Signed, Lola.

They disregards the warning and Lincoln crumples up the note as Anastasia finds another note in the wastebasket.

Anastasia: [hands Lincoln the note] Here's another note, Uncle.

Lincoln took the note and begin reading it.

I said GET OUT OF MY ROOM! XOXO Lola

Lincoln: [reading it] I said GET OUT OF MY ROOM! Signed, Lola. [growling] Err! [sees something on her nightstand] Lola's diary! [opens up a page] Today, i broke Mom's most prized possession. [smiles thinking he's got her]

Just kidding. Only a MORON would write secrets in a diary. NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM! XOXO Lola

Lincoln: Just kidding. Only a MORON would write secrets in a diary. NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM! Signed, Lola. [closes diary]

Anastasia: Man, she's good!

Lincoln: You're telling me. [grabs Lola's tiara] What is your secret, Lola Loud?

Logan: [from downstairs, feigning concern] Wait, Lola! Aren't you gonna eat the rest of your cookies?!

Lincoln and Anastasia gasps knowing Lola is coming and Lincoln hides the bugged tiara in his cap. Lola comes up to her room and gasps in shock.

Lola: [angry] BUSTED! [she's actually scolded her teddy bear] I said, no sweets before dinner, Mr. Sprinkles! [shivers] Brr! It's cold in here.

She sees her window open while Lincoln is holding on by the sill and Anastasia is on his back and closes it on Lincoln's fingers. Lincoln falls and scream and lands on a cactus while Anastasia landed carefully on the ground after jumping off of Lincoln's back.

Lincoln: YOWCH! [groans] Where the heck did this cactus come from? [sees another note attached to it]

If you landed here, it means you were snooping in my room. Enjoy the pricklies. XOXO Lola.

Lincoln: If you landed here, it means you were snooping in my room. Enjoy the pricklies. Signed, Lola. [sighs in defeat]

Anastasia: She really does not want no one to know her secrets.

Lincoln: I know. But, there got to be something she is hiding! There just gotta be.

Mr. Grouse: [nothing the tiara on Lincoln's head] Nice tiara, Loud! What are you doing? Training for a beauty pageant?

Lincoln: No! [gets an idea] Actually, yes! [runs off with Anastasia]

Mr. Grouse: Oh. Well, good luck with that!

Miss Lisa's Pageant Training Center; Lincoln is talking with some Lola's pageant rivals.

Lincoln: No one has dirt on Lola Loud? [Lola's competitiors scream in fear upon hearing Lola's name and run away] Sheesh! What did she do to these girls?

Anastasia: Whatever it is, it's a mistake and i gotta fix that.

Lindsey Sweetwater?: Psst! You two, over here! Lincoln and Anastasia turns around and sees a pair of eyes sticking of a closet door. With no looking, Lincoln and Anastasia approaches the closet, and a pair of hands drag them in. The room is pitch black and only the eyes are visible] Hey. I'm going to help the both of you. Not because i like either of you, but because I'm tired of always coming in second place to Lola!

Lincoln: Wait. Is this Lindsey Sweetwater?

Anastasia: Uncle, can you shut up so she can give her the dirt on Aunty Lola?

Lindsey Sweetwater?: Like she say.

Lincoln: Sorry. Proceed.

Lindsey whispers a secret to Lincoln and Anastasia, causing them to gasp loudly.

Lincoln and Anastasia: Holy...!

Back at the Loud House.

Luan: ...Shamoley!!

Lincoln and Anastasia has told all the others Lola's secret, leaving them completely flabbergasted.

Lynn: [o-s] Man, that is juicy! [the others look over to Lynn, who is actually talking about the burger she's eating] And you got some really good dirt on Lola, too.

The others all lower their eyebrows in annoyance, except for Luan, who snaps her fingers at het for telling such a good joke.

Lincoln: Yep, and now, it's time to take her down!

Logan and the sisters begin cheering.

Lana and Lola's room.

Lola: [after hearing the secret about her] Holy shamoley! [all her siblings and het niece are surrounding her angrily. She grabs Lincoln by his shirt] Who told you about that?!

Lola looks at the others, demanding an answer. They all shrug their shoulders, pretending not to know.

Lincoln: If you tell Mom and Dad our secrets, we'll tell them yours! Now if you'll excuse us, those of us who can trust each other are going to go hang out.

Everyone leaves while Lola looks on with disappointment, realizing they got the upper hand.

Lori and Leni's room. Everyone are back to telling secrets.

Lisa: So then, kaboom! Mom and Dad's bedspread was burnt to a crisp!

Logan: That explained why i smelling something burning.

Luan: [barging into the room with a bowl of popcorn] Guys! I just saw Lola marching into Mom and Dad's room! I think she's ratting us out!

The kids begin to chatter nervously.

Lincoln: She wouldn't dare!

Lori: If she's taking us down, we're taking her down with us!

Everyone rush downstairs and approach their parents' bedroom. Lola walks out with a depressed expression.

Rita: Thank you for telling the truth, sweetie. But you know i have to punish you. You're grounded for a month.

Rita pats Lola on the head and closes her door. Lola glumly walks away while the others look on dumbfounded.

Lincoln: You're grounded?

Anastasia: Wait, wait, wait! Hold the phone! You got grounded? Why? What's going on?

Lola: [sighs] You guys are off the hook. I took the blame for all the stuff you did.

Everyone gasp in shock.

Logan: What? Why would you do that?!

Lola: [sighs] 'Cause all i really wanted was to be included in your group.

Lincoln: Then why'd you threaten to tell on us and make us do all that stuff?

Lola: It was the only way I could get you to hang out with me! But then i realized i went about it the wrong way. Instead of using your secrets against you, i should have tried to earn your trust. [heading upstairs] So from now on, that's what I'm going to work on. [voice breaking] If anyone needs me, I'll be up in my room for the next 30 days. Care packages welcome.

Lola sadly parts off, as her siblings look on with sadness while Anastasia does the opposite.

Anastasia: She kinda deserved it, to be honest.

In her room, Lola is playing a dirge on a harmonica and is now wearing denim prison uniform and a pink bandana with her hair now more curled. Lincoln knocks on her door and comes in.

Lincoln: Hey, Lola, you know, we talked it over, and decided...you're in! You've earned our trust!

Lola: [gasps happily, rips off her uniform and reveals her normal outfit and starts dancing with joy] OH, YES YES YES YES!!!

The club comes in to talk about their secrets with their new member.

Anastasia: Let's get one thing straight, you might earned our trust, but you haven't earned mine. So don't expected to get any of my secrets.

Lynn: Aw, so you guys won't believe how bad i messed up the other day! [Logan and the others' curiosity is piqued] I was in the living room, practicing my pile driver with Mom's ironing board.

As Lynn talks about her secret, Lola is so happy to hear every detail. Soon, the meeting is over and the kids are all wrapping as they head back to their rooms while Lana goes into the bathroom.

Lola: Aw, you guys! That was so fun! Thanks! [waving goodbye] Everybody get home safe! [closes the door and starts talking to someone] So, you'll never believe what Lynn did!

It's revealed that she's whispering Lynn's secret to her stuffed animals. She then looks at the viewers.

Lola: Well, what did you expect? I'm Lola Loud! It's not like they'll tell anyone! [turns to stuffed animals] So, anyway... [continues to tell them Lynn's secret]

Author note: Okay, just three more chapters (since I'm skipping Snow Bored now) before i will finally get to season two. However, once i finish up the last episode for season one, I'm going to take a break from doing this story till around Christmas Eve so i can do the first episode of season two then take another break from doing this story till probably when March of next year comes.