AN: So...I didn't forget about this story, it's just been a busy few weeks. I noticed that some people were still liking and adding this story to their favorites and I just wanted to say hi and that I love you. As usual , I own nothing pertaining to BBC's Merlin. I just wish they would do like a reunion show. The song used is an original song from Glee, "Get It Right"
The next morning Merlin decided that it was time to tell Laya and Arthur about his quest; Laya decided to be Gwaine along since he was apart of this now. Merlin, however, was hesitant. It was one thing to tell Arthur and Laya...but Gwaine...How do you tell your best friend that to send the woman he loved back to her time, you would have to kill her? There was really no way to ease into that one. Before they were all to meet up, he voiced this concern to Laya.
"I'll talk with him." She said.
"He's still got going to like it." The young warlock said, scrubbing his hand over his eyes.
"He'll forget me." She whispered, looking out the window. "It'll be easier by then."
"Easier for everyone but me and you." He said, pulling her into his arms. "Why is it us?"
"Because we're the ones strong enough to handle the pressure that comes with it." She sighed, "We need to work on our code...so that we can find each other again."
He nodded. "You have one in mind?"
She smiled. "I've had one for awhile now. I'll give you the lyrics later. I guess it's time."
Merlin nodded, smiling.
-x-
They decided to go to the forest outside of Camelot to ensure that no one would over hear them.
"So," Gwaine said, sitting on a log. "My guess is that this is about Merlin's quest."
Laya sat beside him, leaning into his shoulder. Merlin and Arthur sat across from them; Merlin nodded and began to tell them the full story of where he was and what he learned. At the end, he looked down at his hands and sighed. "But in the end, I learned how to send Laya back. Y-You're not going to like it."
"I wouldn't like it no matter what it is because she won't be here." He said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Just tell us."
"Well, first you should know that we have had this conversation before. We have a plan for it. Unfortunately, once she goes back...only she and I will remember her time here."
"So...myself...Arthur...everyone in Camelot who knows her...we'll all forget?" Gwaine said, his voice starting to betray him.
Arthur nodded, rubbing Merlin's shoulders. The warlock was no longer looking at any of them, instead choosing to stare at a rock by his foot.
"That's not all you had to say, is it?" Gwaine asked, his grip getting a bit tighter.
"M-Merlin and I figured out awhile ago how to send me back. It was in the dragon's riddle. We were just hoping that there was another way." Laya said, looking up at Gwaine. "That's why we didn't say anything sooner."
"What has to be done?" Gwaine said, swallowing.
"Um...I have to die here...and that's when I'll wake up in my time." Laya said.
"You have to...what?" He asked, leaning away from her.
"She has to die..." Merlin said, finally looking up. "For her to wake up."
"That...That doesn't make any sense." Gwaine snarled, jumping up. "If you kill her, she won't wake up anywhere. She'll be dead!"
"Gwaine..." Laya said.
"How could you not tell me?" Gwaine said. "You went on pretending that everything was okay and let me fall for you, when all along you knew that this was going to be the end result."
"I didn't intend to fall for you either, you know!" Laya said, standing up herself. "When I first got here, I thought that we would figure out how to send me back right away before I met any of you. I didn't know that it was going to take this long! You think that I wanted this? That I wanted any of this?! Screw you, hair boy!" She took off back towards the castle.
The three of them remained silent until Arthur stood up. "Gwaine, you are off duty tonight. Take that time to think about what just happened."
"What? Think about how I have to watch her die?" Gwaine said, throwing a branch he had found. "With all due respect sire, I'd rather not."
"Maybe not about that fact." Merlin said as he stood, brushing off his pants. "But how about the fact that yes, she has to die. But literally, the only ones who are going to remember any of this are her and myself. Imagine that for a minute. How would you feel if everyone you knew and loved never knew you existed?" He turned to Arthur. "I'm going to go find her."
"I'll come with you." The prince said, taking Merlin's hand.
"No, it's all right. We have to go over the song that she's going to sing tonight. She and I are also going to go over the code for when she wakes up." Merlin said, squeezing Arthur's hand.
"Code?" Gwaine asked, "What code?"
Merlin sighed and looked over at his friend. "Since Laya wakes up several centuries from now, I might forget what she looks like. But she noticed that I'm good at remembering a melody. She's going to teach me a song that she likes and it's going to be our code, so that we can find each other again."
"She also mentioned having one for me as well." Arthur said. "She said it's going to be a song her brother used to sing to her."
Merlin smiled, thinking about how much Arthur and Laya bonded while he was away. "She did say that you remind her of her brother." He kissed Arthur's cheek. "I'll see you at dinner."
Gwaine watched as Merlin took off towards the castle.
"So...you messed up that one, huh?" Arthur said, moving towards Gwaine. "Come, let's go to the tavern."
Gwaine shook his head. "I...How would you feel in my position?"
"In a sense, we all are in the same position. Except for Merlin and Laya. In my opinion, they have it worse because they are so close. They'll get sad for no reason and they won't be able to talk about it with anyone. Laya's brother will tell her it was a dream from while she was in the hospital and let's face the fact...if Merlin tries to tell us we'll think he drank too much." He looked back towards the castle. "No matter what, they won't be able to talk about it. They depend so much on each other but won't be able to comfort each other until they can find each other again."
Gwaine watched Arthur as he spoke, his brain trying to absorb everything that was said. "I think I need to think about, sire. I'm going to be on my own for a bit."
"Do what you have to...just...don't drag it out..." Arthur said.
Laya ran through the forest and right up to the castle. She knew that telling Gwaine was going to be bad but she had no idea that he would react in that way. She threw herself onto the bed that Arthur gave her when she bested him, her face buried in the pillow. The tears ran hot down her cheeks. Why did she have to fall in love with Gwaine? Why did fate decide to keep her in Camelot for as long as it did? If she had left when she first arrived then none of this would have happened.
But...
But if she had never stayed in Camelot then she would never have met Merlin and Arthur and Gaius... She would never have learned about the place she loved reading about. Seeing it with her own eyes and through the eyes of the people she had met told a better story then any book ever could. She sighed, starting to weigh the pros and cons of staying in Camelot and going back to her brother. No matter what she chose someone would get hurt, someone besides herself. She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't notice Merlin come in the room and sliding into the bed.
"You alright?" He asked, pulling her into his chest.
"No..." She burrowed into his arms. "I knew telling Gwaine would be bad...but I didn't know he would twist it...like we wanted this to happen...That I wanted to fall for him...knowing that I wouldn't be staying. I hate this."
"I know, Lay, I know." He said, running his fingers through her hair. "He'll come around."
"You think so?" She asked, not believing him. "You saw the way he looked at me. He thinks I'm trash now."
"No he doesn't...and if he does I'll kick his ass." Merlin said, trying to make her smile.
"Now, we all know that isn't possible." Arthur said from the door.
"How long have you been there?" Merlin asked, looking at the prince.
"Long enough to want to kick Gwaine's ass more then I did back in the forest." He said, coming around the other side of the bed. "I gave him something to think about."
Laya rolled over and reached out to Arthur. "Cuddle with us."
He smiled and crawled into the bed with them and wrapped his arm around them both. "Best thing I could ever plan on to waste a day."
"The day isn't going to completely go to waste. We have to work on Laya's song tonight." Merlin said.
"True." She said, nodding. "Cuddling first."
"Merlin...you didn't say...when we have to send Laya back...is there a day on that?" Arthur asked.
"Um...Beginning of next week. The person that I had to talk to is a mystic and was able to see into the future..." Merlin said softly.
"That..That's so soon." Laya said. "Guess we should just enjoy it."
They nodded. "Come on, let's take a short nap and then work on your song for tonight."
Laya stood outside the dining hall, taking deep breaths. She never got nervous before she sang but this time was different. They were going to tell the king that she was heading back to Merlin's mother's house and that she wouldn't be back for awhile. That didn't even make her nervous. It was the fact that she had to face Gwaine sooner then she planned. The knight had told Arthur that he was going to be in the hall for dinner as a guard, even though he had been given the night off.
"Ready for this?" Arthur asked, coming up behind her.
"Not really. But it's not like I have much of a choice. I had one job being here and I have to do it." She said with a smile.
"I wouldn't call it a job. You weren't paid for it." Arthur said.
"Maybe not with money...but with room and board. Let's face it, Arthur...When I first showed up here, you didn't have to take me in." She said.
"Merlin would have smuggled you in anyway." Arthur said.
"True. But you could have just ignored me." She said. "Even though I did best you in our matches."
Arthur pushed her gently. "You earned your spot here. You changed the views of a lot of people here. I didn't like you at first...you were loud and brash and everything a woman here isn't. Morgana and Gwen even took notes. I saw Morgana smack a guard because he looked at her for too long."
She giggled. "Yeah, she told me about that. You won't remember...but if you can try and remember... you and Merlin...keep loving each other...and make sure that Morgana and Gwen do the same."
"Morgana and Gwen...are like Merlin and I?" He asked, shocked.
She nodded. "I walked in on them kissing the one day."
He nodded. It made a lot of sense to him. "I can't promise it right away. But I can promise that it will be done...one way or another."
Laya smiled and hugged him. "You've been working on that song I gave you right?"
Arthur nodded. "You sure that it'll work? Merlin is so sure you will find him in your time with the song."
"I think it will. Songs and melodies have a way of triggering memories. That's why I gave you and him different songs." She said. "I won't use them until I'm sure that you're ready to remember."
"Alright, I trust you." He said as Merlin came up behind them.
The doors opened shortly after that and she walked in with Merlin and Arthur on either arm.
"Such a beautiful woman needed a double escort." Arthur said, noticing the looks from his father and the visitors that had come from a visiting kingdom. "Couldn't allow her to come in otherwise."
"Such gentleman." The visiting Queen said, smiling at them. "It must pride you to have such a thoughtful son and...I'm sorry, I don't recall the other young man."
"His name is Merlin, your Majesty." Arthur said, pulling out a chair for Laya. "He is my servant and my right hand man. This young lady is his cousin."
"How is it that you have a seat at the table but your cousin is working?" The visiting king asked, amused.
"It is not much of a story, Sire, I can assure you." She said, giving a soft smile.
"She challenged Arthur to assorted sports and beat him." Uther said, chuckling. "The wager was a job here at the castle and a room. But then we became accustomed to her presence and she has been a big help around here."
"Thank you, Sire." She said, blushing slightly. "I was glad to be of service while I could be."
"Yes, unfortunately, we received a letter from Merlin's mother and Laya is needed back at her home. She will be leaving us at the weeks end."
"I am sorry to hear of that." Uther said. "You will always be welcome back here."
Laya bowed her head towards the king and smiled at Arthur.
The dinner went smoothly. Laya was avoiding looking at Gwaine and keeping the conversation going, being her usual self.
"So, my dear, you never said what your job was here at Camelot." The Queen said, turning towards Laya.
She had put the glass down that she was sipping at and smiled. "I would help my cousin with his chores and then after dinner, I would sing for everyone."
"She has a beautiful voice. We have no idea what tongue she is singing in, but it is lovely, Morgana said.
"A foreign tongue?" The Queen said, surprised. "How did you learn?"
"My mother before she passed away. She was from a far away land and she would speak it with my brother and I often." Laya lied easily.
"I cannot wait to hear you sing." The Queen said, smiling.
Laya stood and curtsied slightly. She had gotten better at it with help from Morgana.
Making her way to the middle of the room, where she would always stand, she finally made eye contact with Gwaine. He had looked like he had run a marathon and it broke her heart. What she didn't know was that Merlin had put a spell on Gwaine so that he would be able to understand the lyrics to her song. He had hoped that it would reach through to him.
.
"What have I done?
I wish I could run,
Away from this ship going under.
Just trying to
Hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my
shoulders.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
and all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions
keep making a mess of things;
I just wanna fix it somehow.
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me
to get it right,
to get it right?"
Her eyes opened and found Merlin and Arthur, standing side by side and smiling softly at her. She offered them a small smile, her arms falling from behind her back to rest at her sides, gently grabbing at the folds of her gown.
"Can I start again,
with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this.
I just have to stay
and face my mistakes,
but if I get stronger and wiser,
I'll get through this.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
and all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions
keep making a mess of things;
I just wanna fix it somehow.
But how many times will take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me
to get it right?"
Out of the corner or her eye, she noticed that Gwaine had moved a little closer to her, his eyes never leaving her. She turned her eyes toward him, finally looking into his eyes for the first time since they were in the forest.
"So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air,
and accept the truth
that sometimes life isn't fair!
Yeah, I'll send out a wish,
yeah, I'll send up a prayer.
And finally, someone will see how much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
My best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it, somehow.
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take
to get it right...
to get it right?"
She finished singing and turned back to Uther and the visitors. "I'm sorry...but I am feeling a bit tired...If you'll excuse me." She whispered, her voice cracking a bit.
"I'll escort her back to her chambers." Gwaine said, holding his arm out to her. "Laya..."
"Thank you, Gwaine. Goodnight, everyone." She said, bowing slightly.
They bid her goodnight and Arthur noticed that Merlin was itching to follow them. He shook his head a bit. "They have to talk this out alone, Merlin. We'll find her later."
"I know...but if she's crying...I swear, best friend or not, you will be down a knight,sire." Merlin said, still watching them.
"Trust me, you won't be alone there." Arthur said, smirking. "Let's finish out this dinner then head back to the room."
Merlin nodded and poured more wine for them all.
As soon as they were outside of the room, Laya dropped Gwaine's arm. "You can go, now. You don't have to walk me to my room."
"Yes, I do." Gwaine said, taking her hand. "We have to talk."
They arrived at her room and he opened the door, leading her inside, locking it behind them. "Laya..."
"Just say what you have to say and then leave Gwaine...You made yourself perfectly clear earlier in the forest."
"Please, Laya, just give me a chance to explain..." He said.
"Fine, just let me get changed first." She huffed, undoing the laces in the back of her dress. Well, she tried to. She was struggling as she got further down. "Dammit."
"Allow me." He said, coming up behind her and undoing the rest of the laces.
"Thank you." She said, her voice quiet.
His hand lingered awhile longer on her waist before he backed up. She looked down and finished getting undressed and putting a sleep shirt on. She turned and crossed her arms over chest.
"You wanted to talk?" She said.
"I wanted to apologize for my reaction earlier." He said, moving towards the window. "I...wasn't thinking about how this was going to be for you. Merlin and Arthur talked to me."
"They did?" She asked, eyes glued to him. "So, they told you that Merlin and I will be the only ones who remember?"
He nodded. "I thought that when they said that they would have to kill you..that it meant you would really die."
"No. In my time I'm in a coma and every night, I hear my older brother talking to me...begging me to come back to him...how much he misses me...It's hurting my heart to hear my big brother that sad. So, when I die here,I'll wake up in my own time...and he won't be sad anymore."
"But when you go back...won't you and Merlin be hurting?" Gwaine asked.
"Merlin more so then me...For me, it won't be as long looking for him." She said. "It's going to hurt a lot, though. But it's something that has to be done."
"I just wish that we wouldn't have to forget you." Gwaine whispered. "I...can't imagine my life without you."
"That's the beauty of forgetting...It'll be like I never came to Camelot. You won't remember me..." She said, a tear falling.
"I can never forget you." he said, pulling her into his arms. "By face, I might." He clarified, "But whenever I saw you I always thought of the lavander bushes in the garden."
"That's because it's my favorite scent, idiot." She chuckled, leaning her head on the chest. "You know that I didn't plan to fall in love with you right? I didn't even think that I'd be here this long."
"You caught my attention the first time you insulted me." He said, swaying them from side to side. "Even if you hadn't fallen for me...I had already fallen for you."
"Gwaine..."
"Shh. No more talking tonight. If I only have a limited amount of time with you. I want to make it count. So that even if my mind forgets you...my body never will." He pressed his lips to her hair.
She pulled him over to the bed and laid down, putting her head on his chest. "You know that was cheesy as hell, right?"
"No." He smiled. "Because I have no idea what that even means."
She rolled her eyes. "Cheesy is good...Sometimes."
"Sleep, Laya."
"Goodnight, Gwaine."