Chapter 7: Madcap
Let's never come here again because it would never be as much fun.
Charlotte, Lost in Translation
"I loved it, even if I did not understand a thing!" Clarke exclaimed as they exited the theatre.
The lobby was almost empty now, except for a few other tourists taking photographs whilst a group crowds around the souvenir shop to buy water puppet memorabilia.
"But surely you got some parts, like I saw you laugh and cry a bit at the end." Lexa teased.
"I didn't really understand the words but somehow I felt how the moods changed through the music." Clarke stated as they slowly walked around the lobby.
"Yeah, the melodies were very moving and the singers and the ensemble were great!" Lexa acknowledged. "Even without understanding their language, I get the feeling that I got the message." Lexa added.
"I'm glad I went." Clarke declared, she was not aware that she was intently looking at Lexa's face. She was able to properly see Lexa's features now, her strong jaw line, her full lips and her emerald green eyes. Clarke realized that she has never looked intently at anyone at this level, not even at Murphy in the past. Talking to Lexa felt natural, it was unprompted but quite necessary, Clarke could not really pinpoint how she felt around this stranger.
As Clarke was deep in thought, she realized that Lexa was already falling in line at the souvenir counter. As soon as she was done with her transaction, Lexa hurriedly walked back to where Clarke was standing. She was already carrying two paper bags with her right hand.
"And this one is for you!" Lexa handed a paper bag to Clarke.
Clarke opened it halfway, as she peeked into the bag, she grasped as she realized that Lexa went to get her a souvenir. It was a miniature wooden water puppet, it was a female figure clad in red which looked exactly like one of the characters from the show.
"Thanks for sharing this experience with me." Lexa said timidly. "The other one is for my parents; I would usually get something for them when I travel. Mom turned her study into a mini-museum; she placed all the stuff I brought back in a shelf. All the objects were labeled based on place of origin and dates."
"Oh wow! Thanks, Lexa, now, I think I should apologized for being such a nuisance to you this evening." Clarke placed her hand on Lexa's arm, she felt Lexa jerk a bit under her gesture.
"Believe me, I had a great time, I probably needed company anyway. I don't usually make a lot of friends when I travel, unless I'm interviewing them." Lexa decided to slid her hand inside her pocket whilst her other hand held on to the paper bag with the water puppet.
"So, you do travel a lot? This is actually my first time to go to a country without any known relatives staying here." Clarke held on to Lexa's arm as if it was the most natural thing to do as they continued to walk.
"My work demands that I travel, I compose articles for Polis Travel and Living Magazine." Lexa said trying to avoid Clarke's gaze, she wasn't sure about how she felt about the signals Clarke was sending at that moment.
"Damn, do you go by Alexandria Woods?" Clarke suddenly paused with her realization.
"Yes, one and the same." Lexa admitted and wondered how Clarke knew her full name.
"Oh gosh, what are the chances! My step-father has a PTL Magazine subscription; we go through your articles at breakfast. We always try to plan to go somewhere as a family, but with my mom's work, travelling was hardly possible. She was a doctor." Clarke recalled one of her carefree moments with Marcus.
"Was?" Lexa caught that detail.
"She passed, lung cancer…long story…forget about it. I might just dampen the mood. I'm been working hard in getting used to not having her around" Clarke said dejectedly.
"For whatever it's worth, I'm really sorry, Clarke…?" Lexa realized that she did not know Clarke's last name.
"…Griffin." Clarke was quick to answer.
"I hope things start to get better for you soon" Lexa then realized that somehow, she has moved a bit closer to Clarke. Too close for her to actually take in how blue Clarke's eyes were.
"Anyway, we can probably discuss my tragedy some other night," Clarke tried to change the topic abruptly, trying to make their sudden closeness seem a little less awkward. "So, if I'm here for leisure, are you here for work then?"
"Hmm, something in between, I'm actually on sabbatical, but my editor wanted to make this trip worth her while." Lexa intentionally left out the real reason why she was on sabbatical, she hoped that Clarke would not bother to notice that detail.
"Having a boss must really suck." Clarke chuckled.
"You don't have a boss?" Lexa asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nada, well, I work for myself, not unless I get commissions. I meddle with some painting, graphic design and advertising. But currently, I think I'm on something like a sabbatical as well" Clarke explained.
"Well then Clarke Griffin, do you have further plans for tonight?" Lexa was fishing for information; she knew that she saw Clarke with some guy a few days ago. Maybe Clarke would tell her about it but she needs to pretend for a while. It would be so weird to reveal that she has noticed Clarke at the cathedral's courtyard a few days ago and has bumped into her several times already; Clarke might take her as the stalker-type.
"Well, I'm actually here with someone but that person is preoccupied with something else as of the moment" Clarke thought of how appalling this trip with Bellamy had turned out. He actually did not care that they did not enjoy doing the same things together. He was always looking for some friend at some bar and listening to some new homegrown band.
Lexa noticed that they were the only ones left at the lobby now. All the spectators of the next show had entered the theatre already.
"Well then, if it's not too weird, would you like to venture Hanoi's Night Market with me?" Lexa extended her arm as a gesture of invitation; she did not know how Clarke would react to spending more time with a stranger. Since Clarke did the first move at the theatre a while ago, probably she was indeed looking for some company, Lexa hoped for the best.
"I thought you'd never ask, between us, this has been the most comprehensible thing to me all evening" and with that Clarke hooked her arm to Lexa's once again and they both headed out into the night.
"I have never eaten so much vegetables and noodles in my entire life" Clarke recollected her experience the preceding night when she had dinner alone at a secluded restaurant where she had unlimited noodles, vegetables and fish. "You see, not all tourists knew about the place, a friend who stayed here for a while told me. But this place was popular amongst the locals."
Since last night, Clarke has taken the liberty to go to the places that piqued her interest. After spending nights meeting friends and experiencing the local music scene, Bellamy was always having forty winks at daytime. Clarke got tired of following him around, so she went on her own, walking to historical sites and museums at the morning and venturing out to nearby locations at night. They struggled for a while before they finally decided that they could do whatever they wanted to make this trip worthwhile for both parties. It was suddenly becoming more evident to Clarke that she and Bellamy were totally different people. She thought that Bellamy was the person who could make her feel again. Though admittedly, most of what was between them was evidently physical but with this stranger- Lexa, it felt like an immediate connection- something poignant or even spiritual at some point.
"Are you okay?" Lexa asked in between sips of her beer, realizing that Clarke suddenly spaced out.
They were seated on low stools outside a local pub near the night market. Throngs and throngs of tourists continued to arrive as they went deeper into the night. This side of Hanoi was still very lively.
"Sorry, I just thought of something, it's nothing important. Anyway, how are you enjoying so far?" Clarke inquired.
"I think I have been here long enough already. I'm seeing the countryside tomorrow; I'm going to Tam Coc to see the rice paddies." Lexa shared and she could not help but notice Clarke's sudden frown.
"You're leaving already?" Just when I was starting to enjoy my time with you, Clarke thought to herself.
"More like moving on with my journey" Lexa scoffed.
"Hah! Journey- sometimes you can be a bit too subterranean for me" Clarke laughed at her realization on how otherworldly Lexa sounded.
"Journey- haha- actually, I never really liked the sound of that word, come to think of it" Lexa laughed, thinking about how lame she sounded. "What I meant is that I still plan to see Siem Reap and then visit a friend in Bangkok in the next few weeks" Lexa clarified.
"And you are doing all this on your own?" Clarke tried to sound being quite impressed with Lexa's plans.
She has heard about people going backpacking to different parts of the world on their own but she has never actually imagined if she could do it on her own. She thought about travelling alone but she decided to go with Bellamy because she felt that it was safer- Clarke always wanted "safe" with the high that she got from her tumultuous relationship with Murphy, she promised herself that she would always think twice about subjecting herself to some kind of whirlwind once again. However, Bellamy was another act of impulse and she knew that she should try harder in working against her instincts.
"Yeah, in Steinbeck's words 'in utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable'. With what happened in my life, I probably need to clear my head to make sure I figure out where I'm headed. Plus, you should always try travelling alone before you turn 30" Lexa explained, taking another sip from her beer.
"Oh my gosh, I think it's something like someone I knew would say" She also noted that she should find out about what happened to Lexa in the past but probably, this was not the most opportune moment since they had just met. At some point, Clarke felt like she was talking to Murphy. He always managed to be so philosophical and articulate when presented with the most mundane things in life. Citing what people said, sharing excerpts from the things he read- possibly, Lexa is a bit like that too.
"About Steinbeck?" Lexa joked.
"No silly, about traveling alone and being by myself for a while" Clarke chuckled.
"Well, it's something my dad said, not my original words" Lexa expounded.
"You're really big at quoting people, you'll make a good writer" Clarke bantered back sarcastically. "Come to think of it, I was never really totally alone at some point in my life; my mom was there, my stepdad, John…" Clarke suddenly stopped at the thought of Murphy.
"John? Friend? Brother? Boyfriend?" Lexa really wanted to find out if Clarke was referring to the guy she was with earlier.
"Can I say all of the above?" Clarke realized that Murphy was all of these to her.
"Well, can I say you're lucky to have him" Lexa said innocently.
"Yeah, I was…" Clarke started to fidget.
"What do you mean?" Lexa gave Clarke a concerned look.
"I lost him a few years back, car accident" Clarke did not want to bother to expose everything to Lexa, not just yet.
"I'm sorry…" Lexa felt like shit, if she thought she was undergoing some misery with what happened with Costia, Clarke was probably undergoing something worse.
"Can we stop being sorry for me? I just knew you for like a few hours and here I am suddenly unloading all of these to you…" Clarke tried to hold back her tears as she laughed trying to make the situation less awkward for Lexa.
"Don't worry about it, after all, I'm still a bit of a stranger. If you change your mind, you can still lose me in this crowd" Lexa attempted to slice through the thick air between them. Still, Clarke has not shared about who she was with previously.
"Actually, that sounds like a good option since you already know so much about me" Clarke beamed in between some nervous laughter.
Without any thought, Lexa did not realize that they were moving closer towards each other and suddenly she was reaching for both of Clarke's hands across the table. Lexa could not tell whether it was the liquor consumption or the spontaneity of the moment that had prompted her to be more forward. But for some reason, Lexa held both of Clarke's palms in her hands and they were silent for a while. The moment was not awkward at all, despite Clarke's clammy hands on Lexa's trembling fingers.
There's something auspicious about meeting a kindred soul for the first time. It seems like everything else makes sense, everything else connects. For the longest time, human beings tried to figure out telekinesis but what if this phenomenon was not simply cerebral. How can we explain having to relate to someone else's pain? To identify with someone else's loneliness? Is this simply experiential? Our souls seem to move around a rhythmic pattern of elation and sorrow; tumbling upon the turning of the tides and suddenly at one point in this endless cycle, we just meet. We bump into each other, carrying the same energy, giving and receiving, wading and moving. At that very moment, without any words between them, this was what Lexa felt. They were in some unexplainable instance in their lives, knowing that they needed to keep on moving at some point- she just thinks of staying. Freezing that moment, with Clarke's hands on my own, as they reel themselves into this unknown connection.
"I'll be on my way tomorrow" Lexa thought, then without caution, she blurted out "For some strange purpose and without any context at all, would you like to join me?"