Chapter 9. Omission
Omission, noun
"the act of not including something or someone that should have been included, or something or someone that has not been included that should have been"
Cambridge Dictionary
He never stops talking. It was Lexa's seventh beer, in dog beers, she deems that she has only had one. Despite the attempt to bury her annoyance in drunkenness, this Bellamy Blake has managed to deter any lethargic effect that the alcohol might induce. Shortly after she and Clarke have dropped her belongings at Lexa's hotel in Hanoi, they went to a nearby pho restaurant at the Old Quarter to meet Clarke's boyfriend. The term 'boyfriend' stung Lexa's tongue, what kind of bloke would allow his girlfriend to wander alone with strangers if they were on a trip together? Surely, Bellamy seemed to look attention-grabbing at first. The semi-tanned complexion, the mop of curly hair, the trekking shorts, the loose tank top, the circle beard, and the muscular arms; all of these projected 'exploit'. He seemed so clever with his small talk about how to prepare the 'best coffee', so carefree with his concept of 'travelling light' and most of all presumably talented with all the 'jazz is the coolest' talk. He went on and on about why he chose to take up whatever he felt like because of his nihilist beliefs; his realization that dropping out from college was the best decision ever because apparently 'the world is the best teacher' and that people should appreciate the 'natural flow' of things. On their fourth round of beers; Bellamy commented on how Clarke should loosen up a bit because she seemed to be too uptight for an artist, always planning, always projecting. Bellamy even claimed that he was possibly the best thing that has happened to Clarke recently because he made her more spontaneous. At this very moment, he was showing off an image of a traditional tattoo that his friend got from his phone to Lexa.
"So Pike says that he went up to some village in the northern part of the Philippines. There's like this national treasure of a lady there who is the last remaining tattoo artist of this tradition, you see. He said you'll spend days there until she decides that you're worthy enough to get inked" Bellamy swipes across his phone showing various images of his friend's tattoo to Lexa.
"So you have plans of going there?" Lexa asked nonchalantly.
"Well, it's very close, we can drop by. Pike says she uses some spike from a tropical fruit for a needle and then some natural pigment, charcoal possibly. Plus, she doesn't ink in other forms but these tribal figures of her choosing. Also, Pike says she's like ancient, so maybe I should do this, getting inked from her will turn into some kind of artifact right, babe? Then I can donate my body to some museum when I die, now that's legendary!" Bellamy was elbowing Clarke who was seated beside him. Clarke remained silent throughout the entire time, looking a bit embarrassed but Bellamy kept droning on and on.
Lexa was observing Clarke across the table. Ever since they were seated, Bellamy started to monopolize the entire exchange. He did not bother to ask much about Lexa or shared anything about Clarke either, except to mock her sometimes.
"Let me see, let's try to find out about this tat artist…" Bellamy started to open a search engine in his phone.
Lexa cringed at Bellamy's attempt to endorse his new age coolness. Lexa had nothing against what she understood as the hipster subculture. She was sometimes a hipster herself; her inclination towards organic foods and indie rock but this Bellamy was such a cliché at this day and age. In the 1900s, "hip" was synonymous for those who were "in the know" especially in the jazz scene but this guy was borderline obnoxious to Lexa. His carefree demeanor, his style, his know-it-all smugness; he was the epitome of "trying so damn hard". He makes sure that everyday word that comes out of his mouth is nothing but highfalutin. Lexa knew these types, they take the conversation in the most pretentious way possible and when you just not into it, you end up being the labelled as a 'snob'. 'What? Not too high-brow for your taste? Why are you too uptight, Lexa?' Lexa recalled the last encounter she had with a douche like Bellamy in one of Costia's parties. But she has had enough of Bellamy.
"Actually, a lot of teams and individuals have written stories about Apo Whang-Od as they call her of Fang-Od to the locals. If I remember correctly, tattooing was sacred to her people, maybe some time in the 16th century, it was recorded that tattooing was some kind of a status symbol to several Southeast Asian communities. She's actually one of the oldest mambabatoks as they call the ritual tattoo artists of the Butbut tribe in Kalinga in the Philippines. A New York Times article says that she's estimated to be over a hundred years old by now" Lexa stated in one breath. As a travel writer, she would often read articles about noteworthy subjects all over the world. She remembers this artist's story when she had to do some research on Southeast Asia tattoo traditions for an article. If there was one thing that she got from all that research, was that she felt bad for Fang-Od and her hamlet in the Philippines. Fang-Od might be so tired of meeting lads like Bellamy, followers of some hipster fads having seemingly less regard for the actual value of certain crafts and practices.
"Traditionally, women in the Butbut community view these ritual tattoos as aesthetic accessories. The men on the other hand, would earn their tattoos from their killing as reward after settling disputes. She may be the only one left alive keeping the old form but she's actually training several others including her niece". Lexa went on, Bellamy was dumbfounded at this point. Realizing that Lexa was able to share more knowledge than Pike, who actually went there.
"Have you been there? You seem to know so much" Bellamy challenged with a sneer.
Lexa told herself that she had nothing to prove to blokes like Bellamy but this seemed like a perfect opportunity to show off at some point. She was called out to be a show-off when it comes to her knowledge of both significant and trivial things. She was even called conceited by Anya at some point claiming that she can be a bit over the top and indeed high-brow but Lexa only saw this as flattery. After all, it was her job as writer to learn and share information. Her drunken state somehow triggered her competitive nature especially with Clarke looking on. Clarke was silent for most of the time, she was probably a bit too preoccupied in discerning the built-up tension between Lexa and Bellamy. So, Lexa turned around towards Clarke and Bellamy's direction, pulled down the collar of her t-shirt to show her nape revealing a tattoo of a conventionalized form of a serpent eagle.
"Fang-Od says it's a serpent eagle" Lexa shared.
"What does it mean?" With her back turned she suddenly realized that the question came from Clarke.
"It means freedom through bravery" Lexa answered softly.
"Can I touch it?" Lexa felt Clarke get up from her seat.
"Sure, go ahead" Lexa replied. At this moment, she felt Clarke's soft touch, carefully maneuvering a finger tracing her tattoo like she was reading brail.
"It's beautiful" Clarke whispered.
Lexa felt fluttering butterflies inside her stomach as Clarke continued to trace her tattoo. At this moment, it felt like any displeasure that she had with her interaction with Bellamy disappeared. She focused on Clarke's touch, they were having a moment.
"Gosh, that must hurt" And in the middle of her trance, Bellamy's annoying voice resurfaced. Lexa felt Clarke jolt into consciousness and hastily retreated to her seat beside Bellamy.
"I had a fever right after but I survived. Nothing you can't endure, right?" Lexa turned towards the couple across her.
"Yeah, you now have my respect dear omniscient Lexa! Cheers to that!" Bellamy lifted his beer as a gesture but Lexa noted the hint of sarcasm in his words. Really, this guy will never back down in this situation, she thought to herself. "Say what Clarkey, we should head to the Philippines then and I should earn my bounty for my killing! Looks could kill, right? Hah!" Bellamy started to laugh at his own joke.
"You should do it for the right reasons Bell, it's sacred to some people" Clarke cautioned.
At that moment, Lexa recalled the moment when she got her tattoo. She was in fact sent to the north of Philippines to work on an article about bed and breakfasts in the form of traditional stilt houses. Initially, she was not up for the job because she was still mourning the death of her grandmother. Her grandmother helped her during the hardest times. Lexa saw the early signs of her homosexuality when she was still in middle school. When her best friend Zoe left to move to a different country, Lexa realized that Zoe felt like more than just a friend to her. She was often bullied due to her boyish or less feminine ways and actions. The bullying never stopped until high school. When she met Titus, she saw a kindred soul, she saw support apart from her family. But during these times, more than her parents support, her grandmother would tell her stories about bravery and honesty to one's self. Her grandmother though cryptic in her words was somehow explaining the nature of things to Lexa, telling her that the world can be cruel at times but if she's brave enough, she'll find freedom. So, when Apo Fang-Od told her what the serpent eagle meant, she felt like her grandmother was speaking to her once more.
Clarke and Bellamy continued to converse in front of Lexa but she was not able to fully absorb what they were talking about on behalf of her contemplation.
"What do you mean you're going to Cambodia?" Bellamy's voice suddenly broke into Lexa's thoughts.
"Lexa's going, I haven't been there. I think I want to see Angkor Wat." Clarke disclosed.
"So you've made a decision without me?" Bellamy probed, his eyes fixed on Clarke.
"We've been doing a lot of things separately in this trip Bell. Haven't you said that in order for us to enjoy this trip we should do whatever we want and not to get pressured of what the other wants? Well, I'm really not into hopping around the music scene, I'm in this region for the first time and I want to see as much as I can." Clarke reminded Bellamy of his previous attitude just a few days ago.
At this point, Lexa wanted to leave, it felt like she was intruding in a private conversation. There was a pregnant pause between Clarke and Bellamy and Bellamy was looking back and forth between Clarke and Lexa.
"Okay then, promise me you'll keep her safe" Bellamy was now addressing this to Lexa.
Lexa was still a bit confused with what was going on, she caught Clarke's baby blue eyes with her own emerald greens.
"I've decided to join you to Cambodia, if it's okay?" Clarke's expression was calmer now, her stare almost felt like she was pleading.
Lexa's throat went dry; she has indeed set her mind in taking this trip alone. She has in fact met Clarke in a chance encounter, she does not know anything about these two strangers. She has heard about stories of foreigners seducing lone travelers and eventually end up earning their trust and taking all their money or tricking them into human or drug trafficking. There was so much at stake for Lexa, so much doubt, the most logical decision for her now is to walk away and leave this twosome alone to deal with their own issues. If only Titus was here to talk some sense into her. But she was not naïve, she has travelled the world and encountered a lot of people. Aside from this, she does not want to go in between the business of this couple. Except, there's something about Clarke that pulls her. Her instinct tells her that she should stick around for this girl. If Bellamy was not in the picture, she could have drove into the sunset with Clarke in a heartbeat.
Lexa realized that Clarke was still waiting for her answer. "Well…why not? If Bellamy doesn't mind, then I suppose I won't mind" Lexa felt like her words betrayed her thoughts.
Clarke beamed at her and Lexa felt her heart drop for a second. In Bellamy's obliviousness, Clarke mouthed a "thank you" to Lexa.
"Alright, it's as if you won't be hard to find if something happens to Clarke, Ms. Woods. That's settled then, so a ticket to Manila for me and then a ticket to Siem Reap for you. A tattoo for me and the ruins for you" was all Bellamy could say to Clarke in the end.