HELLO ONCE MORE COMRADES. WELCOME TO CHAPTER 3 OF OF GODS, GEMS, AND MEN. AKA THE PART WHERE THIS BECOMES A REAL SU FANFIC. I know, amazing right. Things are finally looking SUish. Isn't that grand? Now then, I don't have too much else to say at the start here, although I should note no one sent in any PMs responding to chapter 2s question of the chapter...very sad...also very few reviews on chapter 2, hope this gets more. Also, the end authors note is really long this time, I plan to make them alot smaller in the future, about this size. Anyway, LET'S START THIS THING!

Note to self, use a docudrama quote about the mind and flesh horror and radiation in next chapter. Can't forget that. Also, don't forget to write this chapter me. ;)

Chapter 3: Highway to Hell

If truth is stranger than fiction, where are the flying monkeys? - Daria Morgendorffer

Gilbert's P.O.V.

'What the Fuck?'

What the fuck indeed.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... What am I looking at?

My eye are telling me something, but I'm not sure if I should trust them.

Because my eyes seem to be telling me there's a very large statue, ~60 Foot or so (or about 18-22 Metres, damn imperial system minded parents) with a large head, atleast 4, no, 6 arms, maybe 8...wait...looks like there's...yes, now as we are moving past, I can see the spot where an arm used to be. Lots of hair...i swear it has multiple faces. It looks eastern, Buddhist...maybe Hindu...eh, probably Hindu, not very familiar with Hindu culture other then the cow stuff, or that balance stuff I half remember, but I know a thing or two about Buddhism. Mother was deeply into it, I know what it's stuff looks like. Too many arms. I dunno, either that or zoro whatever, b-

No, no. Not the what, the why. WHY. Why is there a giant flippin eastern looking statue in the middle of an eastern coast tourist trap... ,.. tourist...no no no, that's solid granite and marble, no goddamn way Mr. whatever his name built something like that here. Without me knowing, anyway. I've surfed long enough to have heard of something like this by now. Mayans? Natives? Freemasons? The Illuminati?

"Wha...what is that? What the hell is that?!" I said, as we drove past the odd structure.

"What? What?" said Yvon, looking around in confusion. Seemed no one had really noticed, too busy doing their own things. Talking in their cliques, looking at their phones they smuggled in. The only person to notice anything was the teacher, who leaned in, seeming more concerned with my harsh tone and use of the word hell.

"Watch your language young man!" she said, ugh, never liked er. Hell ain't a swear word, ya old coot. "What is it?" she asked, mildly interested in whatever I had seen. "What did you see?" Yvon asked, seemed he was interested as well. May as well enlighten them to my sighting.

"Overthere..look, look, look, there's a giant granite statue over there, eastern looking. What the heck is it doing here?" Yvon and the teacher looked behind. The statue was mostly obscured by this point, but both Yvon and the Teacher caught a glimpse at it. Yvon seemed interested, letting out a small "Huh..." as the teacher rapidly lost interest in the subject. "Probably some tourist thing, one of those big plaster statues, anyway, class, we are about to arrive, please, ready your backpacks and..."

Yeah, suuuuuure we are, lady you just found the road again. Your sense of direction is truly unparalleled.

"Huh, weird." Yvon stated, he was mildly interested, or at least that's what it seemed. Hard to tell with him. "Wonder what the deal is with that?"

I replied honestly. "I don't know...It didn't look plaster to me, I swear that looked like a legit rock statue, carved into the mountain, hindu or buddist or something..." Yvon looked at me with an odd look on his face. "Really? Huh...wonder whats up with that?" Yvons interest faded, and he went back to what he was doing. I decided to follow.

After all, why would a real east stone statue be carved into a mountain in some tourist town? Why couldn't it be fake? Why would it matter,even if it was real, so what?

Why did I care.

...

Why then, was I so nervous?

A few minutes later, we finally arrived at the ship museum. The teacher had gotten the bus to double back, she had turned right when she should have turned left.

We drove past a small carnival, an amusement park, located on a pier. Everyone seemed entranced by it. I had been looking at the remains of an old dockyard behind us, wondering. What happened to that dock yard? What tore it apart like that? The wood looks like it's only been there a few years... Everyone else was focused on the amusement park / carnival. "OO, OH, OOOH, CAN WE GO THERE!" They screamed and shouted. I plugged my ears to block out the noise.

"No, we are going to the local boat museum, you didn't sign a permission slip to go in that park, not to mention the cost. Do you WANT your parents to have to pay?" I didn't give a shit whatsoever. The fact that a carnival was on a pier was... very, very, intriguing to me. I had seen, no no, heard of the idea of amusement parks being on piers a couple times in the past, but I had never seen one in real life.

Hmm, the smell of corn dogs. I'd have one if I could, a wise man told me never to pass up on a corndog.

Well, maybe wise is the wrong word, but still.

Yeah I'm bored as heck, I need to get out of this bus. Ugh.

The ship museum was boring as fuck.

Sure, at first I found it mildly interesting, cool to see, old sail boats, scooners, steamboats, an ironclad from the civil war, etc. But it gets fricken old. So I did what I always did to entertain myself.

Turned to my thoughts, and my comrades.

"Ai Bayer!" I said, hoping to get his attention. Bayer turned around to face me, a smile entering his face. "Hey Gillllllbert!" he replied, as I thought of what to say...

"So, what do you think would happen if the Zimmerman telegram got-"

"Alright class, time to go to the next section!"

'Motherfu-'

Life really sucks sometimes, doesn't it.

You spend 5 minutes coming up with an awesome great war idea, and the next thing you now, the teacher cuts it off, and you hate the world. God dammit.

But, without anyone to talk to, my mind began to wander, about greed and hungry. And how all the nations of the world, are getting ready for another war. No no no, focus stupid brain, what I actually was thinking of was,...that damn statue.

I just changed my mind for next chapters quote. Czar-ree.

It...I, I was really uncomfortable with it. Maybe I'm just paranoid, scratch it, of course I am, but. It freaks me out, to have this weird thing here...and to have no bloody idea why it's here. I feel sort of like I just found a bunch of crop circles that are actually eyes of providence in a big pyramid all pointing me to Jimmy Hoffa's corpse buried on Oak island in a secret Freemason bunker made of Nazi gold.

OK, bad example, I just want to distract myself.

I. Am. Scared.

I admit it, maybe not truly scared, but, concerned.

Yes. Concerned, that is it.

I have nothing to worry about though...I'm sure it's nothing, I'll here a nice explanation about tourists form the locals, or maybe read about some witch burning Hindu cult from 400 years ago on .

Yeah. It will be fine. The sun is shining, and everything is fine.

Yeah.

We were just exiting the boat museum(i had gotten sick of listening to them rattle on about plywood and giftshops, I snuck off for a while to look at a confederate submarine they raised from the bay, thing of beauty and insanity indeed) when we were approached by a large white van.

This could not end well.

But instead of a peadophille (pedophille?) it was a politician. Huh, think I would have preferred the kiddy diddler.

Anyway, I could tell it was a politician based on the giant head on the top, spinning around shouting "MAY-YUR-DEW-EEE" over and over again, as if to brainwash the local populace into refusing to accept any other. Same mayor on the billboard, I presume.

He proceeded to go on a 10 minute long rant about how important tourists were, and I'm fairly certain he was being fed lines, based on the ear piece he kept touching, and the guy in the backseat of his van who seemed to be saying the same thing based on his lips. Yeah, definitely.

So, when he finished his speech, I saw my moment of chance. I took a deep breath, and said.

"I was wondering, what's the weird deal with that hexa-armed statue on the beach over yonder?" I said, barely hiding my anxiousness. I decided to use the term yonder, as it was a personal favourite of mine, and it was far away from both me and him, so saying 'there' would be incorrect, since he wasn't near it.

His face froze up, and he tightened his expression. His eyes darted quickly, then his face suddenly shifted into a calm, nonchalant expression, and he said, "What statue? Oh, oh that. Oh, that's just a inflatable stand, err, prop, used to attract the tourists, nothing more. Yes, eh, yes. Hahehe." My teacher seemed to fear embarressment, and seized the opening "Gilbert be quiet, You'll have to forgive us, some of our students are a bit noisy, please ignore them." ShadyMcCoverup(Or Mayor Dewey) seemed to like what she was saying, and doubled down very quickly. "Oh yes, the youth must always be inquisitive , the youth are our future, the youth are-"

Alright, shut it old man.

That was not a goddamn inflatable float, that was an honest to god rock statue. I'm not gonna buy this bullshit your selling.

...

I know what I saw. I know what I heard. I'm NOT wrong.

Maybe its something stupid or embarrassing or just controversial. Maybe it's more then that, I don't care.

What I do care about, is that this Dewey guy, is lying to me. He, for whatever reason, doesn't want us to know.

I will not stand for this.

And I'm gonna goddamn find the truth about this. I WILL. You will not suppress it. I WILL, find the truth.

And you can't stop me you goddamn dotard .

And another chapter down, another chapter down, another chapter bites the dust. Hey, gonna get you too, another chapter bites the dust, HEY!

Yes, that is correct. Yet another chapter down. And I am now an official SU Fanficer, which should get the IRS off my back. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE.

o0o

Ok, apparently me laughing with my machine gun laugh is legally considered discharging a weapon, who would a thunk, huh?

Ok, anything else to say. No, okay, well, all I have to say is, first off, I have to ask, 3-1-14 25-15-21 16-5-15-16-12-5 3-18-1-3-11 3-15-4-5-19 1-20 1-12-12? 10-5-5-26-21-19... ... - ... .. -. -.. . . -.. -.- - ..- ... - .-. .-. -.- . -..- -.-. ..- ... . ... ..-. - .-. -.-. - -.. . -.-. .-. .- -.-. -.- . .-. ... !

And second of all, remember, stay in milk, eat your drugs, and don't do school. Wait, I meant stay in drugs, eat your school, and don't do milk! WAIT, I MEANT -

CONNECTION LOST. PLEASE STAND BY.

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