AN: There's only one more chapter of this fic, which I will post in the morning.

Chapter 15

July 1990

"Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mommy!" Benny's voice increased in both pitch and volume incrementally each time he called her. Elizabeth sat on the toilet, her elbows perched on her knees rubbing her temples in an attempt to ward of the headache that was brewing.

"Benny," she snapped. "Please, can I pee in peace?" He stopped, but then she saw the chubby fingers poking out from under the door and the sniffling of her son beginning to cry. "Just a sec, baby," she acquiesced. Quickly she finished, washed her hands, and opened the door. Benny lay face down on the floor trying to peek under the door.

The little boy's tear streaked face popped up. "Mama?" he said. A wave of guilt washed over her. She sighed.

"Mama's sorry baby. Come here." She knelt down and helped him crawl into her arms before picking him up and carrying him to the couch. Sitting down, she hugged him tightly and let him curl up against her. "What's wrong?" she whispered softly, although she already knew the answer.

"Daddy comin' home?" Tears filled Benny's eyes and Elizabeth tried hard not to fall to pieces.

"Yes, Benny, Daddy will come home. He's at soldier school remember. He's learning to be a good soldier for the Marines. Then he'll get to come home and visit before he goes away again.

Tears slid down his fair skin creating red tracks. "I miss Daddy. I want him home now.'

Elizabeth's heart broke. "I know baby. I do too. How about you go and get the letter Daddy wrote for you and we'll read it together?" Benny slipped off her lap and went trotting to his bedroom. He returned a minute later carrying a tattered envelope. He scampered back up into Elizabeth's lap and thrust it in front of her face. She pulled the letter out and started to read Henry's letter to Benny for probably the 500th time since Henry left for boot camp 6 weeks ago.

Dear Benny,

Daddy has to take a trip to go to soldier school. I will be gone for a long time, but I want you to know I am working hard to get back to you as soon as I can. I love you to the moon and back and I will think of you every moment that we're apart. Take care of your mama and be a big boy for me. Make sure you talk to God every day and ask Him to help you be good and keep our family safe. I love you so much, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Love, Daddy

Benny crawled across the couch and pulled the photo of the three of them off the end table and studied it. Elizabeth scooted over beside him. "What do you say we go to the park today and try to make some friends?" she asked. "We can have some fun and take our minds off missing Daddy, okay?"

"I want my old friends. I miss them." Elizabeth was at a loss to console her son. There were so many changes and Benny was taking the brunt force of it. She and Henry had not adequately prepared him and that just piled on Elizabeth's guilty conscience.

Between graduation, moving to DC, Elizabeth starting her job at the CIA and Henry leaving for boot camp, literally everything in Benny's life had changed. They left all of his friends from the housing building-the ones he saw daily at the nearby park or when the building had get togethers.

He had never been to daycare other than a twice a week morning program she enrolled him in at the college just to get out of the apartment, and most of the time, she didn't even leave. She just studied out in the hallway for the two hours. Now he was in daycare 9 hours a day with complete strangers, and Henry was gone-13 weeks total. They had just finished week 6. Plus, he was used to spending most of his time with at least one of his parents, and now, he only saw Elizabeth in the morning before work and for a couple hours in the evening before bed.

Elizabeth pulled Benny back up into her lap. "I know this is hard. It's hard for me too. What can we do to make ourselves feel better?"

Benny cuddled against her chest and was quiet for a long time. She thought he might have forgotten or got distracted when he looked up at her and said, "We should eat ice cream."

She squeezed him tight. "Just when I think I can't love you more, you say something like that. Let's go get some ice cream!"

They sat together at a picnic table outside the little mom and pop ice cream shoppe that was just down the street. Benny was almost shoveling the ice cream into his mouth despite the warnings of getting an ice cream headache. Elizabeth laughed when he stopped mid bite and held his forehead, groaning. "I told you that would happen," she said. "Let's take a bit of a break and it will go away in a few minutes.'

From behind them she heard the whispers of a young girl. "Mama, it's Benny. He's in my class. He won't talk to us. He just sits and cries." Elizabeth turned to look over her shoulder and saw a woman probably 10 years older than she was holding hands with a girl, obviously Benny's age, with long brown braids and fair skin.

Elizabeth smiled, even though her guilt engulfed her. Should she have turned down the CIA job in favor of going back to Pittsburgh so she would have help with Benny? He was suffering and it was all her fault. "Benny, is that little girl in your class at school?" He didn't say anything but snuggled closer to her side. She took a deep breath, cursing herself because she still felt insecure around parents that were obviously older than she was. She faced the woman, gave her a big smile, and spoke. "Hi. I'm Elizabeth McCord. I just happened to overhear that Benny is in your daughter's class. I thought I'd introduce myself. I only get to see a few parents at drop off and pick up, so I've only met a few families."

The woman returned her smile, but her eyes surveyed Elizabeth and Elizabeth did her best not to take offense. Yes, I'm aware that I'm young. No, I'm not a terrible mother. Elizabeth looked down to Benny whose fists we're clutching her shirt just because he saw a kid from his school. Who the fuck are you kidding? You are a terrible mother. Look at your son.

"Would it be okay if we joined you?" the woman asked. Elizabeth nodded and turned to Benny, hugging him tight.

"I'm staying. Maybe we can make friends together. What do you say?" Benny shook his head against her side. She squeezed him again. "Well Ben, Mama's kind of lonesome too, so we need to put ourselves out there and see what happens."

By the end of the hour, Elizabeth and Benny we're acquainted with Miriam and her daughter, Bella. After the ice cream, they walked the couple blocks to a local park and the kids played. As Benny spent more time with Bella, he came out of his shell and had a good time. Elizabeth decided to ask the daycare if it was possible to get a class list so she could contact some of the parents and arrange one on one playdates with their children so Benny could get to know them. The thought that Benny spent his days away from her crying nearly broke her heart, and she was frustrated that no one had told her. She planned to fix that on Monday morning.

By the end of the next month, Benny was doing better. He had four or five friends and no longer spent his days sitting and crying. Once Benny was doing better, Elizabeth felt like she was doing better. Working at the CIA was far more challenging than she thought it would be, but the rewards would be great if she made it to that level.

As Henry's graduation from boot camp approached, Elizabeth tried to figure out the best plan. She wanted to go and had been given the two days off to fly out and see him graduate, but should Benny go or not? It almost seemed unfair not to take him, but at the same time she missed Henry desperately and having Benny sleeping between them would present some challenges.

Evelyn came to the rescue without being prompted. She called to ask if Elizabeth would mind her tagging along. She'd never been to the West coast and she would be happy to keep Benny with her while they were there. Elizabeth bought the airline tickets the next day and suddenly the three weeks seemed doable.

Benny was thrilled to fly and the pilot gave him a set of pilots' wings to pin on his shirt and his trip was made. He took turns sitting on Elizabeth's and Evelyn's lap and talked nonstop to anyone who would listen. "I going to see my Daddy at soldier school. I missed him so much."

Elizabeth sat in the window seat, her jaw set, her eyes closed. She tried to keep her breathing regulated and ignore Benny's jabbering. She felt Evelyn reach over and squeeze her hand. "He's fine," she said, referring to Benny's restlessness. Elizabeth gave her a slight smile and nodded her head, but that wasn't the real issue.

She and Henry had been practically inseparable for four years and now they hadn't had any contact for the last 3 months. Elizabeth told herself that it was only three months, that they would be fine, but there was the constant undercurrent in her thoughts that once he was away from her, he wouldn't want to come back. She was desperate to see him because she missed him so much and yet, she was afraid that seeing him would allow her to see that he'd moved on.

By the time the plane landed, Elizabeth felt nauseous. She forcefully swallowed the saliva that pooled in her mouth, pushing it past the lump in the back of her throat. They walked down the jetway as Benny danced around her feet, excitedly chanting "See Daddy."

"Benny! Stop!" Elizabeth hissed. She took his hand and half tugged him along as she walked to the baggage claim. His lip poked out and he ran to keep pace.

Elizabeth felt Evelyn's hand on her shoulder and in that moment she regretted bringing her mother-in-law along. The last thing she wanted was for Evelyn to see her marriage dissolve. She felt Evelyn's disapproving eyes on her and she bit the inside of her cheek and turned away, trying not to meet the older woman's gaze.

"Benny, hon? Want a piggyback ride?" Evelyn asked. The boy giggled and immediately pulled his hand from Elizabeth's. Evelyn easily swung her grandson over her shoulder and he landed on her back. "Hold on tight," she said, bouncing him with each skipping step she took. Evelyn spun around and walked backwards, eyeing Elizabeth, despite Elizabeth's attempts to avoid it. "Tell mama to relax. It will be okay."

"Relax mama," Benny parroted and Elizabeth rolled her eyes at both of them.

Henry sat on his foot locker at the end of his bunk with his head in his hands. Each day, he'd marked off on the calendar. One day closer to seeing his family. Now, the day had come and he couldn't explain his apprehension. Perhaps it was because Benny was so young. Had he really understood what it meant when Henry explained why he would be gone? Would he even remember him? Would he be angry and feel abandoned? Then there was Elizabeth, she was starting a new job in a male dominated field. She was so smart and quick witted and beautiful. Would she meet someone who would try to woo her? Would she be lonely enough to act on that? They had been through so many things together, and loved each other so deeply. It would be enough, wouldn't it?

A fellow soldier clapped him on the back. "It's time McCord. Let's go." Henry pulled himself to his feet praying that all would go well in the coming hours and days.

Family members were waiting in a large auditorium when the Marines came in. The soldiers were given final orders and then allowed to disband. Henry scanned the room to find them. "Daaaaadddddddyyyyy,' Benny called out, racing through the crowd of people. Henry made eye contact just as Benny launched himself toward Henry. Henry bent down and scooped him up. Benny cried into his neck. "You a soldier now, right Daddy? You comin' home?"

"Yes, son, Daddy's coming home." He squeezed Benny tightly. "I missed you so much." Benny wiggled against him and struggled to get down. Henry looked quizzically at him. "What?"

"Mama needs lovin' too." Benny leaned into Henry's ear. "Mama thinks she sneaky, but I hear when she cries at bedtime. She misses you lots and lots." Henry gave Benny one more squeeze and released him to the ground.

Looking up he saw Elizabeth and all of the apprehension he had disappeared. They each took a step toward each other and he pulled her tight against him. He felt the tension leave her body as she sagged against him and he had to physically hold her up. "I love you so much," she sobbed into his chest.

"I will always show up for you. Always."