Chapter 23: Discourse

"We were friends and have become estranged. But this was right, and we do not want to conceal and obscure it from ourselves as if we had reason to feel ashamed. We are two ships each of which has its goal and course; our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did- and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbor and one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had one goal. But then the mighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones, and perhaps we shall never see each other again; perhaps we shall meet again but fail to recognize each other: our exposure to different seas and suns has changed us."

Roland Barthes, A Lover's Discourse: Fragments

"What's troubling you, pumpkin patch?" Titus whispers to Lexa as he pours himself another flute of champagne.

Titus' and Gustus' dinner party was already in full swing and almost all of the guests have arrived. Lexa was so anxious to see Clarke again, especially with the developments in her life the past few days; but was only disenchanted when she saw Marcus arrive sans Clarke. Marcus simply gave her a dejected stare and a pat on the back. 'I tried, kiddo, sorry' was all he muttered as Lexa greeted him at the door.

"I was too apprehensive, maybe I'm too late." Lexa mumbled finishing her wine in one gulp.

"Well, she's still in town, you still have your chance. Have you tried talking to her?" Titus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The plan was to talk to her today, remember?" Lexa answered back. She wore a black dress today; with a mid-thigh hem, wide butterfly sleeves, a V-neck and narrow ties with tassels at the waist. She had smoky eyes, applied to expose her brow bone and neutral colored lipstick; to say that Lexa prepared for this evening was an understatement.

"So, that's it? You've decided to simply give up and just sulk here?" Titus mocked.

"The signals are there, Ty. Much has happened within a year, for all we know, she's already dating someone." Lexa was starting to get into a funk.

"It took you a year to torture yourself and to pine endlessly on Clarke, this can be a bit anti-climactic. I say, you should grab the bull by its horns and get this over with. We already did the best we could to get both your asses back up and we are not taking no for an answer." Gustus finally joins in.

"What do you guys mean?" Lexa was suddenly stunned by her discovery.

"We've been ceaselessly trying to get you guys back together." Marcus chimes in. "You don't think I just "accidentally" bumped into you folks that day, do you, Lexa?" Marcus probes with air quotes.

"So, you have been planning this reunion all along?" Lexa asks wide eyed.

"Well, we were planning a wedding, this is just a side job." Gustus winks at his fiancé.

"Plus, you being single for a year is killing me, you've been wearing your long fingernails far too long." Titus lifts Lexa's hands to show her polished fingernails.

Marcus gives Gustus a blank stare.

"It's a girl thing." Gustus snickered.

"Oh, oh, I finally get it!" Marcus finally laughs at the joke.

"Shut up, Ty, not funny! But what do I do? It seems like Clarke is not interested in me anymore."

"I don't know what happened after our trip to the supermarket a few days ago but from the looks of it, she still seems pretty interested. I'm never seen my daughter sulk so much if not on your expense, Lexa."

"I'm sorry, since when?" Lexa took note of a minute detail.

"Let me see," Marcus counted back on the days with his hand. "It was last Saturday, we went to the supermarket before we headed to pick up a tree and she was already in a very sour mood after that."

"Shit, shit, shit!" Lexa finally pieced the information together. "What time did you go?"

"It was a little bit after noon." Marcus tried to recall.

"Shit! She saw me!" Lexa suddenly had an epiphany.

"What do you mean she saw you?" Titus clarified, pushing his fiancé aside to get closer to Lexa.

"She saw me talking to Costia!" Lexa countered.

"What? Is Costia back?" At this point, Gustus was already so confused.

"Costia who?" Marcus was more confused.

"Shit! I need to fix this!" Lexa finally jumped from her spot, shoving the men around her out of her path.

"Is this some other Costia or the Costia who once upon a time trampled on your heart and feed it to the piranhas?" Gustus was utterly disoriented.

Titus moved out of Lexa's path to give his fiancé a side hug.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you later. I need to fix this!" Lexa was already up in her heels. "No matter what happens, I love you both! Thank you for intervening for me." Lexa took a step back to envelope her friends in a side hug. "Marcus, where's Clarke?" Lexa turned to Marcus.

"At home, still in her pajamas." Marcus responded.

"I need to go." Lexa was already rushing towards the door, quickly grabbing her coat from the closet.

"Wait up, Lexa. I'll drive you." Marcus volunteered. Lexa gave him an endearing smile. "I won't miss being part of this story." Marcus murmured behind Lexa.

"So, you're sulking in your pajamas?" A virtual image of Wells stressed from Clarke's laptop monitor.

Since Marcus could not convince her to join the dinner party, Clarke made herself a cup of warm chocolate and checked if Wells was available for a Skype call. For the past hour, she had been pouring out all her resentments to Wells.

"I don't know what else to do, what would I do when I see her? Say that 'I'm happy for you and I hope you have a good life even though I'm not part of it anymore'?" Clarke sobbed burying herself behind her pillow.

"After all this time, Clarke. Why don't you just go talk to her and confront her?" Wells advised.

"She did all of this, why should I be the one to lower down my walls this time?" Clarke countered.

"It's not about defenses or walls, Clarke. You've been away far too long, you've never communicated after. I just feel that there are a lot of things which are lost in translation here." Wells explained, loosening his tie. Wells came from church and he still hasn't changed from his suit and tie when Clarke called.

"I saw her Wells, she seemed so happy…with someone else. I can't ruin that." Clarke's voice was on the verge of breaking.

"And are you okay with that? You don't even know the beginning and end in this story." Wells clarified.

"I think I know what I saw." Clarke stressed.

"I'm just saying, if you've really decided, what else is left to lose? Just go up to here and say 'hey, Lexa, I see that you've moved on now. I'm happy for you.' If see confirms then we can sulk some more, if it's the other way around then I won't expect that you'll be back early next year." Wells teased trying to convince his friend.

Just go up to here and say 'hey, Lexa, I see that you've moved on now. I'm happy for you.' If see confirms then we can sulk some more, if it's the other way around then I won't expect that you'll be back early next year." Wells teased trying to convince his friend.

"You've got a point, I'll think about it." Clarke acknowledged.

"Stop thinking about it, you've done a lot of thinking already. Just do it!" Wells encouraged.

Suddenly, Clarke heard the doorbell ring followed by some ruffling noises from the vestibule.

"Hey, Wells, I think dad's back, he must have forgotten something. Thank you for listening, I'll call you tomorrow." Clarke bade Wells farewell, quite keen to check the sounds from the entryway.

"Anytime, Griff! Let me know if there are any developments to your love life." Wells waved from the monitor.

"Thank you, bye!" Clarke closed her laptop as the call was disconnected. She then hastily proceeded to the foyer, only to be utterly taken aback of what was in store for her.

"What if she says 'no'?" Lexa ponders before stepping out of the car.

"Well, she's anxious and still a little bit mad but trust me, Lexa, she has been waiting for this for a long time." Marcus tried to calm Lexa down.

"Hey Marcus, thank you…thank you for doing all of this." Lexa gave Marcus a genial gaze.

"That's my daughter in there, Lex. Before her mother passed away, I promised to take care of her. I know what's good for my daughter and I plan to keep that promise to my wife." Marcus' hands gripped the steering wheel, Lexa could tell that he was on the verge of tears.

"Whatever happens, I could not thank you enough." Lexa moved to hug Marcus.

"Now go on, you have things to do." Marcus tried to hide his tears from Lexa. He had always treated Clarke as his own, he could only wish for his daughter's happiness. "Here you go, just in case she does not let you in." Marcus tossed the house keys to Lexa.

"I'll wait here, if things go south, that's where I'll come in." Marcus propped the passenger door open for Lexa.

"Thanks again." Lexa told Marcus before heading for the front porch.

"Hey dad, is that you? Did you forget some…" Clarke's voice broke when she saw who was stooped at the entrance door as it swung open.

"Sorry, he handed me the house keys…" Lexa realized that when she swung the door open, Clarke was already there by the vestibule in her pajamas with hair disheveled, puffy eyes and tear stains on her cheeks.

"Lexa?" Clarke tried to tidy herself up but to no avail. "What are you doing here?" Clarke mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I'm so stupid…" Lexa muttered under her breath as she slammed the door shut and marched up towards Clarke enveloping her in a tight hug and eventually crashing her lips unto Clarke's.

Clarke was too slow to react, so she reciprocated the kiss wide-eyed, only to realize that it should not be happening at the moment. "Wait, wait, what are you doing, Lex?" Clarke moved trying to distance herself from Lexa but Lexa had a tight grip.

"I'm sorry, Clarke…" Lexa restrained herself creating some distance between them but her hands remained on Clarke's hips, Clarke did not budge from her grip. "You see, I don't have a grand speech prepared. Thanks to Titus, Gustus and your dad, I'm here on a whim and a sudden jest of sheer courage and certainty. I'm sorry Clarke, for being tentative, for being scared, for hurting you at your most vulnerable moment. I know you had been through a lot, your dad made sure that I knew about it. Trust me, I know you might think that it wasn't his place to tell me everything, but he did, at best intentions. Let it be known that I don't love you out of pity or out of spite; I love you because of your resolve, the audacity to take life head on, to take risks. I'm not much of a risk taker, Clarke, you know that and you triggered this fear within me. So I asked myself, 'are we going too fast?', 'was I used to being alone?' I didn't know how to react. Probably, this time, the greatest risk that I took was to gamble between being with you and being cooped up in the security of my own cocoon. I thought it was all about self-preservation; you know how sentimental I could get in drafting out my own passage in this life. I wasn't even done with my own sappy journey to self-actualization and moving on before you suddenly came rushing into my life. I wasn't prepared for that, but who is? All I know is that, since you left, I was stuck in my own limbo, never knowing what to do next. So, it's either you take me back or I'll start working on trying to forget about this moment when I completely made a fool out of myself in front of the woman I love." Lexa said all in one breathe.

"Did you just say that you did not prepare for a speech?" Clarke was already in tears, yet she was still trying to make fun of Lexa.

"It's kinda impromptu…" Lexa tried to explain but Clarke had already grabbed her to move closer and shrouded her lips with hers. "I still love you too." Clarke took a breath.

"What was I even thinking, letting you go?" Lexa inhaled on Clarke's neck.

"Probably, it needed to happen. For you to realize what you really want and for me to go after what I really want." Clarke added.

After a bated breath, Lexa moved to speak once more.

"Also, that time at the supermarket, that was nothing…" Lexa tried to explain.

"I don't care, anymore. I missed you. Just shut up and kiss me, Lexa." Clarke once again moved to kiss Lexa. Lexa lifted Clarke as Clarke interlocked her legs over Lexa's hips. Lexa pushed Clarke onto the wall, they were caught in another lip lock when suddenly there was rampant knocking on the door.

"Ladies, is everything fine? I'm just checking, but you can tell me to go away. Anyway, it's freezing out here, just wanted to make sure that I don't need to give Lexa a ride home." Marcus tried to reaffirm in a muffled voice.

"Shit, forgot that your dad's still here." Lexa giggled.

Author's Note: Just a couple more chapters left to go. Also, I might include an epilogue. Thank you so much for reading my work. Again, I do not own any of the characters, similarities with any other works are purely coincidental.