I just discovered that there's a book out there called "Amish Vampires in Space." I must have it! Also, I now ship Nui and Mason Verger. The perfect godawful sibling tag-team!

xxx

Nui slipped off the banister, not caring that, if the whole world's population was standing behind her, they all would have seen her underwear under her atrocious pink skirt. Satsuki brought her heels together sharply, shoving her hands into her coat pockets and jerking her chin up to look down on her sister.

"I see that making a mockery of the unfortunate is now part of your design portfolio, Nui," said Satsuki, breathing into her chest and expanding her ribcage, "Hm. Purple. It doesn't look good on you."

"I wanna see what you look like all purple, Kiki," Nui drawled, reaching up to snap her new eye-patch up onto her forehead, revealing the still-raw hole where her eye used to be. Huffing, she gripped her hands behind her back and crossed her legs at the ankle, swaying over to lean against the wall behind the landing. "Huh. Who's mocking the disabled now?"

Ignoring the gruesome spectacle, Satsuki lidded her eyes and tilted her chin minutely.

"If you're going to wear your name like a badge on your face, you deserve to be mocked." Though mildly curious, she hadn't the temper to ask Nui about her eye. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." She turned to grasp the handle of the front door mere feet from where she stood, but before she could make the small motion, Nui was across the floor and inches from her face, blocking the door.

"Didn't you hear butler-man? Mama said no." Nui gurgled, taking a small leap to place a peck on her sister's tightly-drawn lips. Satsuki sneered and jerked back, wiping her mouth roughly with the back of her hand.

"I owe you no pretense, Harime," she snarled, "Get out of my way." Nui's one eye twitched, her mouth twisting into a smooth grin. She stepped suddenly into Satsuki's personal space, pushing her back when she refused to move.

"Oh, so you let Mama do what she wants with you because you have something to gain, you whore? Don't think I don't hear when Mommy makes you moan like the little slut you are." Satsuki narrowly avoided the hand lashing out to grab her by the ear, dodging smoothly, hands still in pockets. "Why don't you make those noises for me, hm?"

"You are a poor lover, Harime Nui," she answered coldly, the truth adding bite to the retort. "Why do you think everyone who's had the misfortune of taking you into their bed immediately loses their phone and inexplicably needs to leave the country? Have you ever had a second date?"

"Aren't you just adorable?" Nui hissed, eyes darkening, her heels clacking as she backed her sister against the outer edge of the balustrade. "Why don't I show you what a fantastic fucker I am?"

"You've always had a way with words, haven't you?" Satsuki kept her demeanor cool even as Nui gripped her by the throat, though her mind was racing. She was in no condition for a fight. She had never held out longer than ten minutes in a fair match against Nui. Then again...

I have Bakuzan now, and she is newly vulnerable to her left.

She immediately squashed the idea.

I can't squander the element of surprise. It's not time yet. I cannot reveal my secret until I am shown the Original.

Satsuki sighed, closing her eyes as Nui raised a fist.

I hate this.

She removed herself from her resigned dread and was about to enter her unfeeling plane of stoic existence when a blur on the banister caught her attention. She didn't have time to turn her head before a screaming mass of hair and muscle crashed into her, sending her into Nui and toppling them both to the floor. In the split second in which she had a squirming Nui pinned under her superior weight, she instinctively drove the heel of her hand into her sister's left eye, grinding into it like a pestle. Nui screeched like a banshee and thrashed on the ground, sending her sister head-over-heels.

Satsuki looked up, the sudden bout of adrenaline coursing through her dispelling any more thoughts of submission. She balled her fists, her limbs scorching with fire as she prepared to fight. But the Banister-Blur was already there, picking her up and throwing her thoughtlessly over its shoulder. It was yelling, shouting into her ear, and she was shouting back, screaming her confusion and lust for violence. Even as she did, however, a tiny voice in her head said in its cool, amused voice,

Well, that was unexpected.

xxx

A few days earlier:

"What do you mean, 'you can't'?"

"I'm sorry, Ryuko!"

She did look sorry, big, shiny tears glossing her equally big eyes. Surprised at the reaction, Ryuko backed off, waving her hands and muttering.

"Okay, okay! What have we been doing all week, then?" To Ryuko's great dismay, Mako wasn't really into video games, despite her aptitude for code manipulation. She had spent hours playing the only game in the house as Mako clattered away at her keyboard, and she was really, really sick of it. Ryuko was in her eighth year on the farm in Harvest Moon, and still hadn't shorn any X wool. She had sworn to herself that if she sheared her sheep one more time without results, she would straight up murder it. "What am I paying you for? Wait, am I paying you?"

Mako shrugged, making a nonplussed noise before sighing and slipping off her chair to the floor in a squiggling motion that could only be described as 'melting.' She held her hands towards the ceiling, elbows locked, as she intently considered her fingernails.

"It's like the pentagram in there!"

"The what?" Ryuko sniggered at the malapropism, but maintained her indignant expression. "You mean the Pentagon?"

"Everything, everything is on lockdown so tight a candelabra couldn't fit through!"

"C-candelabra?"

"Through that buttery needle of salvation!"

"Eh?" Ryuko shook her head and ignored the unfathomable metaphor, setting her mind to the task at hand. "I remember, like, five years back, REVOCS stock crashed 'cause of some hacker. It was a big deal. On the news..." Mako sat up suddenly, an idea sparking as clearly as if a lightbulb had flipped on over her head. She leaped into her chair and started slapping at keys. Interested, Ryuko looked over her shoulder and was surprised to find lines of code appearing on the screen, apparently caused by Mako's haphazard keystrokes.

"What are you doing?" But Mako was in her own world, typing away and humming a cute little song to herself. Ryuko groaned and threw herself back into her chair, itching restlessly at her side. Deciding almost instantly that she couldn't sit for one more second, she jumped back up and grabbed her jacket.

"I'm going out. I'll be back with food."

"Potatoes and molasses, if you want some, oh, just ask us." Mako sang, swaying in her oblivion. Ryuko shook her head, feeling some incongruous affection towards the girl before slipping out.

xxx

Mako met her at the door and presented her with two flash drives.

"Here you go, goodbye, have fun!" she crowed, shoving them into Ryuko's hands and making a good-natured attempt to push her out the door.

"Wait, Mako! What? Calm down!" Ryuko muscled her way into the flat, holding the bag of food over her head as Mako shoved at her. Quickly, she pulled out a burger and tossed it gingerly to Mako. Eyes lighting up, Mako gave up on her quest and began devouring the sandwich, moving to the living room to flop onto the couch. Sighing, Ryuko sat in the armchair and considered the drives in her hand. "What are these for?" She asked, taking a bite of her own burger.

"Well, that first one is to help you break into the Kiryuin mansion and that other one is-"

"What!?" Ryuko inhaled a chunk of meat and immediately coughed it out again, spraying the coffee table with bits of lettuce and ketchup. Embarrassed, she grabbed a napkin and started cleaning up her mess but kept her eyes fixed on Mako, who nodded and took an enormous bite.

There was an awkward period as Ryuko finished cleaning and just sat on the floor and stared at Mako while waiting for the other girl to finish chewing. Should I say something? Ryuko thought. Nah, I'll just sit here and look shocked and appalled. That'll get her to talk.

It didn't. Mako finished eating and (not before snuffling around the empty paper sack for more food) smiled and made a shooing motion with her hands.

"That's right, just stick it in and we're good to go! You got this girl!"

"Mako, what are you talking about?" Ryuko stared at the geek sticks still in her hands, her heart beating furiously. She hadn't bargained on any breaking and entering (maybe Mako was joking. She had to be joking.) but at the same time a furious little voice screamed at her to do it, to do whatever it took to find her father's killer.

It was Nui. It had to be. Ryuko's blood began to boil and she closed her fist over the piece of plastic. She could still feel her father's blood on her hands as she tried to save him, the unbearable heat of the fire. She loved him, but hardly knew him. Now she would never know him. Her mind drifted to the violin case parked by the door, what was inside.

Whoever has the other half... Her speeding thoughts slowed to a standstill. She needed an in. She needed information.

No one's going to just give it to me. I have to take it myself. The languid thought shifted and clicked suddenly as her mind flitted to Satsuki. Ryuko shook her head. She hadn't heard from her in over a week, not since the fire. She's not interested in helping me. Ryuko snapped back to reality and realized Mako was talking.

"-into the security. The cameras will be mine!" Mako made walky fingers in the air. "And then you can sneak around until you find a computer and put the blue one in, okay? Okay."

Ryuko would later wish that she had paid attention more carefully, but she was already out the door, slinging the instrument case over her shoulder.

xxx

Why am I so damn stupid? Did someone drop me on my head? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Ryuko stood in the last copse of trees that surrounded the Kiryuin manor before the lawn opened into a perfectly manicured lantana garden. And then the house itself. She had left her bike on a deer-trail a few hundred yards away, and she wanted nothing more than to slink back, get on it, and quietly drive away.

Harime New-Age Fuckbucket's looking for me anyway. Ryuko thought, scratching at her scalp. I could just declare myself... yeah, and end up dead in a river. Though she was as ready for a good scrap as the next girl, Ryuko knew when she was outmatched. She shuddered as she felt the ghost of Nui's icy fingers going up her shirt. She clutched her jacket to herself and sprinted to the wall of the manor, slipping into a niche that held a security box. Feeling very competent and cool, she wiggled it open and took a peek inside, gloved hand poised to shove the flash drive into whatever port she could find.

To her dismay, there was nothing vaguely USB-looking in the box. There was a bundle of wires, a keypad, and a circuit board. Nothing else. Her breathing grew labored as she struggled to find a place to put the key.

Damnit, damnit, damnit! She had timed the rotation of the outdoor guards, but hadn't accounted for a glitch. There was no time for a glitch! As she heard the tramping of a pair of boots round the corner, she frantically searched for an opening, any opening. The boots were growing louder. Ryuko imagined she could smell the sweat on the man's face as he grew ever closer to her hiding spot. Frantic, she gave up and threw the useless key into a bush and removed her gloves to shimmy like a squirrel up a gutter-pipe to the second floor, sweaty hands providing ample grip. She jimmied open a cracked window and squeezed in just in time for the guard to pass without noticing her.

She breathed a sigh of relief before realizing that there was a corner camera in the room and it was looking right at her. Ryuko grinned nervously and waved at it before sprinting out the door.

Out, out, out, why am I so fucking stupid?!

Ryuko ran down the hall, sure she could hear an alarm sound from deep within the mansion. She tripped over a mop bucket, sending dirty water all over the blue-veined marble. A few maids gaped at her, and Ryuko immediately felt bad for undoing all of their hard work, but she kept running, haphazardly throwing open doors and looking inside. She heard men's shouts from behind and she dashed into what looked like a home office.

Why did I wear this leather jacket? I look like a total perp! I could've played this off as "innocent prankster," but no, Ryuko, you had to look cool!

She looked around the room, eyes scanning for escape. Instead, her eyes lit on a laptop computer resting serenely on a mahogany desk. For a split second, Ryuko paused in the doorway, unsure, before she leapt across the room and grabbed the computer, shoving it into her backpack before dashing out into the hall again to run for her life.

She ran faster than she ever had before in her life. It was if the fear pounding in her stomach and throat were giving her wings. To her peripheral delight, she quickly outstripped her pursuers, who were clearly confused by her random door-opening. The large hall led to a balcony over the foyer, and Ryuko went to skitter out the doors, run like a demon to her bike, get the hell away, and barf into a trashcan, when a familiar voice froze her blood in her veins.

"Why don't I show you what a fantastic fucker I am?" Nui's voice was high-pitched, as always, but there was undeniable menace.

"You've always had a way with words, haven't you?" Ryuko narrowed her eyes at the sound of Satsuki's voice, daring to peek through the parallel shafts of the balusters. Nui had her sister by the throat against the bottom of the banister and was getting much too close for Ryuko's comfort.

Ugh, Ryuko shuddered, She's just gonna let her do creepy shit to her? Ryuko remembered the impossibly strong hand on her neck and her blood ran cold. She stared, frozen in horror, as Nui leaned into Satsuki even as her hand twisted into a fist.

There were shouts behind her and Ryuko was shaken from her mental snare as she recalled that she was being pursued. The only way out was through that door, and Nui was right in her way. Taking a deep breath, she did the first thing that came to her mind.

She slipped down the banister, head first, screaming like a wild animal, hoping to grasp the elusive element of surprise. To her great relief, Harime's eyes (eye? Ryuko noticed the eye patch out of the corner of her eye and filed it away for future consideration) were closed and her face was pressed into her sister's hair. Ryuko smashed into them both, sending them sprawling into the foyer. There was one single moment of consideration as Ryuko looked between Satsuki and the door, and, as Nui screamed and writhed on the ground in pain, Ryuko decided.

She owes me answers, she thought, not willing to admit even to herself that she wanted to play hero. With a strength she didn't know she had, she caught Satsuki around the waist and hoisted her over her shoulder, yelling at her to hold still as she wrenched the door open and ran as fast as she could into the woods surrounding the Kiryuin estate.

So Matoi Ryuko kidnapped a supermodel.

xxx

Yay, plot! Sorry for the delay. Exam week was rough. Some girl bit me in the library, and that's not a euphemism. She literally put her teeth into my arm. Geez...

Are any of you following InoBato? Holy shirt! At first I was like, "Hm, Sayumi is kinda like a normal high-school Satsuki, but no, I won't force her into a box... That's not fair." But then we meet her little sister and she looks so freaking much like Ryuko! Being all cute and normal and annoying little sister! Ahh, no, Trigger! Not in my feels! What are you doing!?