Chapter Forty Five: When Insides Don't Match Outsides

Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21.

Song Playing: Popular (from Wicked)

Theme 6: Hot

For Suzuna the results of the Quarterback Female Popularity Poll that was printed in the last issue of American Football Monthly were completely unacceptable. Harao of the Sphinx dominated most of the competition, but really that wasn't too much of a surprise considering his following. A close second was Marco of the Dinosaurs, now that one did surprise her as she personally found him really creepy. Everyone else sort of fell behind in various degrees of being well liked among the female students.

However what caused her anger was the Deimon Quarterback's placement in the poll. To be more accurate his lack of placement in the poll. To be more precise, he wasn't ranked. At all.

Next to his name had been a little astrick indicating that the reader should look at the bottom of the page in the footnotes for further explanation. She had. The explanation being and she quoted, 'N/A All the girls ran away when his name was mentioned'. This, she felt, was unacceptable.

As the unofficial head of publicity and captain of the cheer squad, she felt that it was her duty to rectify the situation. So she set about calling an emergency publicity meeting that required a female representative of every year, social class, club, sport, and clique to attend. It had taken longer than she had wanted but it had been arranged. Only once everyone was seated did she get down to business.

"Why did you all run away?"

She always did prefer the straight forward means of communication.

Not bothering to let them answer, she held up the magazine that was already open to the page with the poll for them all to see. "This poll was to determine the female popularity of each quarterback at their respective schools. We're not even on in because apparently every girl this guy tried to interview ran away screaming into the distance at the mention of Hiurma-kun's name."

Her sharp eyes didn't miss the way every girl in the room winced and looked at the exits at the mere mention of his name.

"I'm not going to try to act all noble and righteous by saying the popularity polls were based on personality. How the girls fawning over the quarterbacks were solely due to how sweet or how nice the guy is. Because we all know that's not true." At this point she slammed the magazine down on the podium top. "The quarterback popularity was directly related to how hot the quarterback is. That's it. No if, ands, or buts about it. That is a fact. No arguments there."

At this she got some mumbled agreements.

"So why," She threw her arms into the air in utter bafflement. "Wouldn't Hiruma-kun be ranked into the top five at least? We all know he's completely hot!"

Silence engulfed the room.

Suzuna suddenly felt very awkward. Putting her arms down so they rested on the podium, she leaned in a little to the nervous looking crowd. He voice much softer than it had been previously. "We all do know he's completely hot... right?"

Nothing but uncomfortable shifting answered her.

The realization of what that silence meant hit her like a tons of bricks. Quite literally. The only thing that prevented her from falling over in shock was the white knuckled grip she had on the podium. "Seriously?"

"He's scary!"

A singular girl blurted out. No sooner had the words left her mouth than her hands had flown to cover it, as if to prevent more words from escaping without her consent. Her eyes were wide in terror and Suzuna was slightly concerned that the poor girl was going to give herself whiplash the way she was scanning the room for danger. As if the devil himself was going to appear to smite her.

Which, given Hiruma-kun's impeccable timing and better than average hearing, wasn't entirely an unfounded fear to have.

However, those two words spoken in unfiltered terror filled honesty, seemed to be the trigger to get every girl in the room talking. And boy did they have things to say. Mostly things concerning his black book and the way he plagued their nightmares and how he could be there listening right now they had to leave! Where were the exits? They were too young to have it end like this! It was quite an overwhelming experience.

"Okay- I- No-Well." Finally Suzuna took a deep breath and bellowed. "QUIET!"

The girls, who were several comments and a mention of his name from being a panicked mob, silenced immediately.

"Sit!"

They sat.

"Good." Suzuna ran a hand through her short hair. "Now I understand that you all seem to have... reservations about being able to see Hiruma-kun as anything but a tyrannical demon. But surely we can all be mature about this. Look at this objectively. He is human and he is hot. Surely we can agree on that much?"

The looks on their faces clearly indicated that they could not agree on that much.

"This is going to be harder than I thought." The head cheerleader grumbled to herself before clapping her hands together. "Okay! I need you all to close your eyes."

They all appeared very reluctant to do so.

"I said close your eyes!" They shut. This is not the way she had planned this meeting to go but desperate times called for desperate measures. "Now take a few deep breaths. Everyone relaxed? Good. Now I need to focus. Focus real hard. Now picture Hiruma-kun."

If it wasn't so freaking frustrating, she might have found it amusing how all their peaceful faces had turned to horror. Several seemed to be ready to bolt at a moment's notice. "Stay calm! Deep breaths. Keep picturing him only now imagine away any firearms he has on him. Go on, just will them away." She waited until their faces seemed to relax a little. "Good. Good. Now just put him on mute. Put him on mute and close his mouth. Very nice, keep those deep breaths coming ladies."

They were the calmest looking they had ever looked since she mentioned his name.

It was time for the piece de resistance. "Finally take away that black book. Just make it disappear and pretend, just for a moment, that he didn't know your deepest darkest secrets and was blackmailing you with them. Just for a moment I want you all to picture Hiruma-kun like that. No weapons, no book, no talking. Just a boy smirking at you with that intense look in his eyes and a toothy smug smirk."

The shocked gasps and sharp inhales of breathe let Suzuna know the exact moment that they all managed to picture it.

Of course the singular exclamation of, "Ohmygod he is hot!" didn't hurt either.

And just like that the female population of Deimon High School saw Hiruma Youichi not as the heartless sociopathic monster, an image he had spent years developing, but as an incredibly hot single young man who had the possibility to soften if a certain someone managed to capture his heart. Thus, from her safe position behind the podium, Suzuna watched with uncontainable amusement how quickly she had fixed the problem. Now all she had to do was call that interviewer to schedule a trip over so that the real results of their quarterback could be published.

Though, upon hearing some rather elaborate plans for the official Devil of Deimon Fan Club, the young girl couldn't but feel that maybe she had made a mistake informing them of his hotness. She was sure that Hiruma-kun was not going to be pleased when he found out just who was responsible for the assassination of his evil dictator image. Then there was Mamori who now had competition for his affections.

Of course she would deny that there was no competition because she wasn't interested in him in that way. At all. Ever. They could have him and she'd be perfectly happy that they were together. However Suzuna knew that deep, deep, deep down inside Mamori's heart there was this almost microscopic part that liked him more than a quasi-friend. And by revealing Hiruma's apparently hidden hotness there would be significantly less time for that tiny seed of affection to blossom into the rose of love it was destined to be. Scratching the back of her head, she couldn't help but feel that maybe she had jumped the gun on this one.

Just a little.

Suzuna pondered if she should call Mamori and apologize for this after she got a hold of American Football Monthly.