A/N: It's been forever and seven days but HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope that you can forgive me for leaving you! Life got rough and chaotic, but I'm back now and so are your favorite characters! Enjoy!
Chapter 20: Let's Devise a Plan
Regina rolled her eyes when Emma appeared in the kitchen with her to-go bag of food.
"Of course you took out time to get that." Regina said, making her way towards the blonde.
Emma grinned and started unpacking the bag. "Well, I ordered it, so it would have been dumb and sad to leave it behind." She said, waving a french fry in Regina's face. "Want one?"
Regina bit the fry and shoved Emma to the side. "What kind of heart attack did you order anyway?" She asked, unpacking the rest of the bag.
"Oh come on, Gina. It's not that bad. I just got a few things." Emma defends, reaching for the bag, only to get her hand slapped away.
"Onion rings, french fries, a burger with three slices of cheese, extra bacon, two patties, no lettuce, or tomatoes, or anything remotely healthy. And," Regina paused to pick up the to-go cup and took a sip. "And a chocolate milkshake? What do you have to say for yourself?" Regina finished, crossing her arms and fixing Emma with a blank expression.
"Oh drop the act, Gina. You know we're gonna sit down, split this burger, and eat lunch. So go ahead and get the ketchup out of the fridge and I'll put the food on the table." Emma responded, crossing her arms as well.
They stood there in a staring contest, before Regina's shoulders slumped and she rolled her eyes. "I hate you. You know before I met you, I was a lot more unpredictable."
Emma snorted and kissed Regina's cheek. "Sure baby." She grabbed the food and took it to the table as Regina pouted her way to the fridge.
"Did you hear how agitated everyone got when we called each other Sheriff and Mayor?" Regina asked with a smug grin as she sat down at the table.
Emma laughed and shook her head. "Babe, they were so over it. I'm actually extremely proud of myself for holding it together. Did you see the look on Leroy's face? He was livid."
Regina snorted as she grabbed a few fries. "Isn't he always? Ruby rolled her eyes so hard I thought they were going to roll out of her head. I saw your small grin when I mentioned your mother." She said, her grin growing at the mention of Snow.
Emma chuckled. "I definitely wasn't surprised when you took a jab at her, but it was still super funny. By the look on her face I could tell she was offended."
"Well good, that was the goal." Regina said, her smug grin showing just how proud of herself she was.
They sat in a comfortable silence as they continued to eat their food, Regina enjoying her burger and Emma slowly panicking. She had to figure out how to tell Regina that Ruby and Zelena expected her to move in with them. Ugh, this is not gonna go over well. Shit. Emma sighed.
Regina looked at Emma and frowned. "What's wrong? You've got your thinking face on."
Emma sighed again. Okay here we go. "So…I may or may not have some bad news and you can't get mad." Emma stated, avoiding eye contact with her fiancée.
Regina narrowed her eyes as she took a sip of the milkshake. "I'll make no promises…but I will attempt to respond calmly." Regina offered.
Emma took a deep breath and looked up at brown eyes. "So, remember when we added to the story that I never came home last night?" Regina nodded. "Well, Rubes and Lena were pretty pissed about that, so now, according to them, I'll be staying with them until I find my own place."
"The hell you will!" Regina exclaimed.
Emma winced at the outburst. "What happened to you responding calmly?"
"Well I didn't make any promises! Emma, what the hell?!" Regina got up and began to pace. "Okay, so what, you're supposed to be staying over there tonight?"
Emma shrugged. "Technically? Yes. But honestly? I don't plan on going."
Regina stopped pacing and turned towards Emma. "Oh…okay. So, you want to tell everyone the truth?"
Emma shook her head. "Well, no, but I also don't want to be away from you so…I don't know."
Regina nodded slowly, processing their situation. "Okay, let's really think about this. Logically, we should just tell everyone the truth and go about our lives. Correct?" Regina asked, her shoulders slumping at just the mention of their fun being over.
Emma made a face of disgust and shook her head. "I mean, yeah if you wanna be logical about it, but that's so boring! That's lame, babe! We've been living our lives like two elderly ladies lately! Having dinner at seven, watching tv at eight, and being in bed by nine! That's ridiculous! This is the first time we've had any kind of fun in weeks, and I don't think either one of us really wants to throw in the towel now." Emma finished with a sigh.
Regina nodded. Emma was definitely right. She doesn't know how but over the past few weeks she and Emma had eased into having early nights and boring weekends. It seemed that they were so content with each other's presence that it led to them just…lying in bed watching bad Hallmark movies. "So then, what are we going to do? You know those two, Em, they'll hunt you down if you don't show up."
Emma bit her lip. She knew Regina was right. But what else could they do? It's not like she can clone herself or something.
Wait.
"Okay I have an idea but I need you to keep an open mind. Okay? Open mind, Gina."
Regina rolled her eyes. "I always have an open mind, dear."
Emma snorted. "Yeah okay, sure. So, hear me out. We have magic, right? So why don't we just clone me and the-"
"No. Absolutely not." Regina protested, sitting back down at the table and resuming her meal.
"I thought you said you'd keep an open mind!"
"My mind is open. I just know the answer to that is a definite no. It's not an option." Regina said, leaving no room for discussion.
Emma, however, disregarded Regina's attempt at ending the conversation. "What do you mean it's not an option? Come on, Gi! It could totally work! We could like, clone me or whatever, which I know there has to be a spell for, and then we can just send the copy to stay with Ruby and Zelena. You know it'll work."
Regina regarded Emma for a while before shaking her head. "Absolutely not."
Emma crossed her arms in defiance and frowned. "Give me one good reason why it wouldn't work."
"It just won't." Regina said, as she turned to her food and took a bite of her burger.
Emma shook her head. "No, I'm gonna need more than that, cause this is actually a good plan and I think we could pull it off. So unless you have a legitimate reason, we're either going to do it or we'll have to stop the prank all together."
"There are too many variables of things that could go wrong when it comes to cloning. It's just too risky." Regina said, not looking at Emma.
Emma narrowed her eyes as she looked at Regina. She could spot the lie miles away. Plus Regina kept avoiding eye contact which was a dead giveaway. "You're lying."
Regina rolled her eyes and continued focusing on her food. "Everything I said was true. There are risks when it comes to cloning."
"Yeah, uh-huh. I'm sure that's true, but that's not the reason you don't want to do it. You know I'm gonna get it out of you eventually, so you might as well just tell me now."
Regina let out a long sigh. Damn that superpower. I can't get away with anything. "Fine. I don't want to go through with the cloning because..." Regina mumbled the rest of the sentence under her breath while continuing to avoid eye contact with Emma.
Emma squinted and leaned forward, trying to make out what Regina said. "I'm sorry babe, I didn't catch that. A little louder for the people in the back." Emma teased.
Regina groaned as she put her head in her hands. "I said I don't want two of you walking around here."
Emma frowned. "Babe, I know I can be a handful sometimes, but I'm pretty sure we could keep the other me under control."
Regina groaned again and ran a hand through her hair. "It's not that, it's just..." Regina gestured wildly. "You know."
Emma shook her head. "Baby, don't take this the wrong way, but you're usually really good at the whole talking thing and right now you're doing a pretty bad job at it." Emma teased.
Regina sighed and finally looked at Emma. "You have to promise me you won't make a big deal out of this. Okay?" Emma nodded. "Having another you here would be too distracting for me."
Emma's frown deepened. "Regina, I promise I can keep her out of trouble and-"
"No, Emma that's not what I mean." Regina groaned in frustration. "Emma, how would you feel if I cloned myself?" Regina asked.
Emma smiled instantly. "Oh my God Regina, I would fucking love that! Two of you walking around town all sexy and cute? One of you could just sit on my desk all day while I work! Ugh god, I'd never get any work done. Could you imagine the sex? I mean, reall-" Emma stopped when she saw the look on Regina's face. Then it clicked.
"Oh. OH!" A smirk spread across Emma's face and she wiggled her eyebrows. "It'd be too distracting because you'd wanna fuck me." Emma said, her smirk growing into a grin. "Both of me."
Regina groaned and returned to her meal, not even bothering to respond.
"You'd wanna cuddle with two of me and sleep with two of me and have lunch with two of me and you'd wanna watch us work out and do push-ups and stuff." Emma teased, her eyebrows wiggling way more than necessary. Emma dragged her chair closer to Regina until they were side by side. She slung her arm on the back of Regina's chair and fixed the brunette with a silly grin. "You like me."
Regina snorted. "Hardly."
Emma poked Regina's side playfully. "You like me. I can tell when you're lying, Regina." She said, her grin growing goofier.
"Well, it seems as if you need to get that superpower of yours checked out." Regina replied, trying hard to repress a grin.
Emma hummed as she got up from the table to get an ink pen. Regina watched as Emma took a napkin and scribbled something down on it and then slid it towards her. Regina rolled her eyes and smiled when she read the note.
Do you like me?
Circle yes or no.
Regina took the pen and circled yes, then slid it back over to Emma.
"Yes! I knew it!" Emma exclaimed, fist pumping excessively, causing Regina to giggle.
"Why must you be like this?" Regina asked, shaking her head with a fond smile.
Emma grinned as she leaned over to kiss Regina on the cheek. "Because you love it."
Regina grinned and pecked Emma on the lips. "I really do."
Emma grinned and tapped Regina's nose with her finger, causing the brunette's grin to widen. "So, what are we gonna do? We can't clone me because apparently I'm irresistible, so we have to come up with another plan. Any ideas?"
Regina rolled her eyes but said nothing. She has no idea what they were going to do. They hadn't really thought this far ahead. They'd both just been looking forward to the sneaking around and the fake arguments. Wait...sneaking around...
"Sneaking around..."
Emma frowned. "Huh?"
Regina shook her head from her thoughts and looked at Emma. "You have to go stay with them." Regina said, causing Emma to frown.
"Wait, what? I don't wanna!"
Regina shook her head. "I know but listen, remember how we said we wanted to sneak around with each other?" Emma nodded. "Well how are we supposed to do that if you're here?"
Emma's eyes widened and she grinned. "Oh my God, you're fucking right! Babe, that would be so fun!"
Regina's smiled widened. "And we could find different places to meet up around town!"
"Oh hell yeah! Gina, this is gonna be so f-"
Emma was cut off by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She pulled it out to see who it was.
"Who is it?" Regina asked looking over to see the screen.
"It's Ruby, wait I'll put it on speaker." Emma swiped the phone, answering it. "Hello?"
"Hey Em, where are you? You left Granny's pretty fast after the fight. I figured I'd give a chance to cool down. You okay?" Ruby said, her voice carrying out through the room.
"Oh, yeah Rubes, I'm good. Thanks for checking in." Emma said.
"You sure dude? I mean, that was intense. I haven't seen the two of you go at it like that in a while." Ruby said.
Emma smiled as she watched Regina try to hold in her giggle. "Yeah I'm sure, Rubes. You know Regina is good at getting under my skin. Nothing I can't handle though. She's all bark and no bite." Emma said, trying to sound indifferent.
Regina raised a challenging eyebrow at Emma's words, which made Emma grin.
"Plus she's tiny so she can't do any real damage." Emma added, her grin growing as Regina fixed her with a fake glare.
Ruby laughter carried through the phone breaking the playful stare down the two women were having. "Dude, don't let her hear you say that. Regina may be tiny but she's mighty. Anyway, when are you coming over? Do you need help getting your stuff from Reggie's?"
Emma quickly moved forward to place her hand over Regina's mouth before the brunette could complain about the nickname.
"Um, no I don't need help. I can go get it myself. Are you sure it's okay if I stay with you guys?" Emma asked.
"Yeah of course it's cool, Em! Granny gave me the rest of the day off so Green, Robyn, and I are gonna spend the evening out of town. We'll be back later on tonight at about nine or ten, then Green is gonna head over to Reggie's. She's gonna stay over there for a while, you know, make sure Reggie's okay and stuff." Ruby said.
Emma let go of Regina and looked at the brunette with wide eyes. "Um, does Regina know that Lena is coming over?"
Ruby chuckled. "Of course not. You know Green wouldn't call ahead, you know she likes the element of surprise." She said. "Oh, and we left a key under the mat so you can get in the house whenever you're ready."
"Uh, well okay cool cool. Then I'll make sure to get my stuff from Her Majesty before you guys get back." Emma said.
"You sure you don't need our help? After that fight the two of you had, you might need a mediator or something." Ruby said, sounding worried.
Emma bit her lip as she tried to suppress her grin. "Nah I'm good Rubes. Plus, this is something I need to do on my own. I'll be good. Plus I want to try to talk to Henry before I leave."
"Oh yeah, good call. And you know he has his own room at our place so he can always come over and stuff." Ruby said.
"Thanks Rubes. You guys have fun! Wish me luck."
Ruby chuckled. "We will! And don't worry, I'm sure Reggie won't give you too much trouble."
Emma sighed. "We'll see. Thanks Ruby, I'll see you later." Emma looked at Regina as she pressed the "End Call" button.
"Why does she insist on calling me that?" Regina asked as soon as Emma ended the call.
Emma shook her head and grinned. "Really? Is that what you're focusing on right now? And we all know you love it. You just like to put up a fight." Emma said knowingly.
Regina folded her arms and sniffed. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said, trying to keep her smile at bay.
Emma rolled her eyes and grinned. "So, according to Ruby, we have," Emma looked down at her watch. 4:27pm. "at least four hours before your sister gets here and before I need to be at their place. Any ideas of what we can do with that time?" Emma asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
Regina smirked as she stood up and pulled Emma by her shirt. "I have a few ideas."
Regina sighed happily as she stood at the kitchen sink drying the dishes from dinner. The evening had been perfect. She and Emma got a chance to have some alone time, which meant they could have sex as loud as they wanted to and not have to worry about making the room soundproof. It also meant that they could have sex around the house instead of just in the bedroom, which is always refreshing. They had gone several rounds before they decided to shower and start preparing dinner for the night. Henry had shown up 20 minutes into them preparing the lasagna. They'd discussed the new layout of the prank. According to Henry, Snow and David were planning an intervention at the end of the week, so that gave them plenty of time to have some fun and come up with reasons to argue and be dramatic. Regina suggested that Henry stay with Snow and David in order to stay up to date on their plans. Emma would stay over at Ruby's and Zelena's for the week, and then they would all attend the intervention and let everyone know it was a joke. Henry had protested, saying that they should keep it going longer, but Emma had insisted (dramatically) that she'd die if she had to be away from Regina any longer than that. Regina chuckled, remembering how Emma had clutched her chest and grimaced when Henry asked if she was willing to stay at Ruby and Zelena's place for another week.
Regina sighed as she thought about what was next to come. Emma had taken off about 20 minutes ago to go meet Ruby, which meant Zelena would be showing up at any minute. Regina groaned as she heard the front door open.
Speak of the devil.
"Oh dear sister of mine! Your favorite person in the world is here to make your life better!" Regina rolled her eyes as she heard her sister closing the front door.
"Henry is my favorite person." Regina stated, putting away the last plate and turning to look at Zelena.
Zelena waved her hand in indifference. "I suppose I'm willing to take second place to my nephew. Where is the little apple anyway?" Zelena asked, heading to the refrigerator.
"He's at Snow and David's. Apparently, he'll come back when Miss Swan and I 'clean up our acts'. The real question is, what are you doing here? And why do you have luggage?" Regina asked, as if she didn't already know the answer.
Zelena snorted as she pulled out the container of leftover lasagna. "And when will that be?" She asked, getting a fork and digging in, not bothering to heat it up.
Regina's face scrunched up in disgust. "When will what be? And would it kill you to use a plate?" She asked.
"When will you and Emma clean up your act? Because I've got a baby and girlfriend to get home to." Zelena said, ignoring Regina's insistence on a plate and continuing to eat.
Regina rolled her eyes and grabbed two glasses and the bottle of wine that she had been planning to open for the night. "There is no act to clean up. Miss Swan and I are no longer together and it's going to stay that way. And I didn't ask you to be here in the first place, so why exactly are you here, Zelena? Since you didn't answer my question the first time." She said, handing Zelena a glass of wine.
Zelena took her glass of wine and container of lasagna and headed to the living room, motioning for Regina to follow her. "Well my darling sister, I'm here to help you through this rough time obviously. You're doing a great job of hiding it, but I know you're in distress and that your heart is broken into a million pieces but worry not! I'm going to help you build yourself back up, and then I'm going to help you get your Swan back!" Zelena assured, taking a seat on the couch.
Regina rolled her eyes and took a seat as well. "Zelena, I am not in distress and my heart is not broken. Miss Swan and I both chose to terminate our relationship and that's the way it's going to stay. I'm rather happy not having her around anymore. I don't need another child to take care of and frankly, she's insufferable. I honestly don't know how I put up with her for as long as I did." Regina responded, internally screaming at the thought of actually not having Emma around anymore.
Zelena rolled her eyes as she took another bite of her food. "Bloody hell, could you please stop calling her that? Her name is Emma! And I know you don't really mean that. I know the two of you, which means I know that you all are still madly in love with each other. Whatever happened to make the two of you break up is no match for the love that you have for one another. When it passes, and it will, the two of you will realize how stupid you're being." Zelena stated knowingly. "But until then, I'll be here, by your side, helping you get through it."
Regina swallowed thickly at her sister's words. It really meant a lot to her that Zelena was willing to be there for her. She'd have never expected that her sister would end up becoming one of her best friends and one of the people she trusts the most. They'd come so far in their relationship and hearing how much Zelena believed in her relationship with Emma really made Regina's heart feel full. However, she couldn't break her facade of indifference, so she rolled her eyes and took a few sips of her wine.
"What a lovely hope speech, dear. Snow would be proud." She snarked, pouring more wine in her glass. "First of all, I will address Sheriff Swan as I please. Secondly, how long are you planning on being here?" She asked, smirking behind her glass when she saw Zelena roll her eyes.
"As long as it takes, darling. It seems like you and duckling are deep in denial so it may take a few weeks. Hopefully no more than a month." Zelena said.
"And where is my niece? Please don't tell me you left her with Scooby." Regina said, grinning at the use of the nickname.
Zelena threw her head back and cackled. "You know she hates when you call her that!" She replied, trying and failing to hold back her grin.
Regina grinned. "I'll stop calling her Scooby when she stops calling me Reggie. At least mine is creative, plus it rhymes with her name so she should love it." Regina said.
Zelena shook her head and smiled. "You both secretly love it. And yes, I left Robyn with Red and Emma. I figured they needed something to keep them responsible and out of trouble. Plus, Robyn is practically glued to Red most of the time so it's a win win." Zelena said.
Regina rolled her eyes and smiled. "Yes, well, let's just hope Robyn is enough to keep those two children out of trouble."
"Doesn't it only work for her?" Emma asked.
Ruby shrugged. "I don't know. I just know I've been wanting to try it ever since we got together. I've been waiting for the right opportunity and this seems like the best time." Ruby said.
Emma hummed and picked up the broomstick. "Fuck it, I'm willing to try. Is there like a button or something?" She asked, examining it.
Ruby shrugged again. "I don't think so. Doesn't seem like there would be one."
Emma nodded and passed the broomstick to Ruby. "Alright, go ahead and try it."
Ruby's eyes widened. "Wha-what? Me? I thought you said you were gonna try it!" She exclaimed, shoving the broomstick back towards Emma.
Emma raised her eyebrows and shoved the broomstick back into Ruby's hands. "You're the one that said you've been dying to try it! Plus, if I do it first and something goes wrong then I'm screwed! I'd rather see you screw up first! I'm not trying to get in trouble with Zelena!" Emma exclaimed.
Ruby huffed and glared at Emma. "Some friend you are. What a fucking wimp. Fine I'll go first, but only because I'm not afraid of Green like you are." Ruby said, swinging her leg over the broom.
Emma snorted and crossed her arms. "Sure, I'll pretend I believe that." Emma stepped back as she waited for Ruby to take off on the broom. They both waited for a couple of seconds, but nothing happened. Emma frowned. "Why isn't it moving?"
Ruby shrugged as she examined it. "I'm not sure. I know I'm sitting on it right. It should be floating by now." Ruby said, turning around in circles, hoping it would activate.
"Are you concentrating? It's a magical broom, you have to concentrate." Emma insisted.
"Of course I'm concentrating! Not everyone has magic like you do, so it's a little harder for me!"
Emma frowned. "What? Dude, of course you have magic!"
Ruby shook her head. "No, I don't!"
"Then explain how you turn into a wolf!"
Ruby stopped turning in circles and rolled her eyes. "Dude, that's a different kind of magic. I can't wield the stuff like you can."
Emma hummed. "Here, let me see." Emma said, switching spots with Ruby. She swung her leg over the broom and concentrated on her magic, willing it to connect to the broom. She had no idea what she was doing.
"Holy shit!" Ruby whispered.
"What?" Emma opened her eyes to look at Ruby, but gasped when she saw that she was hovering a few feet above the ground. "Holy shit…I did it!"
"Can you drive it? Like make it go around and stuff?" Ruby asked.
Emma shrugged. "Let's see!" Emma willed the broom in the direction that she wanted, causing the broom to jerk in the direction of the kitchen. "Shit!" The broom started jerking around randomly, causing Ruby to howl with laughter.
"Dude, you look like you're riding a mechanical bull!" Ruby said, through her laughing. "No no no, you look like Harry when he first tried to ride his broom!" She shrieked, tears coming down her face from laughing.
Emma grunted as she tried to get control of the broom. "Ru-by! Help me!"
Ruby finally calmed down and started chasing the broom and Emma around the living room. "You're the one who has magic! You stop it! Stop panicking!"
Emma took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. Once she was calm, she realized she had stopped jerking. She relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief. "Okay okay, I got it." She said, slowly floating around the living room. She floated down towards Ruby. "Wanna get on?" She asked with a smirk.
"Hell yeah! You think we can take it outside?" Ruby asked.
Emma shrugged. "I don't see why not. It's almost midnight so I don't think anyone will really be out this late. Should we take Robyn?"
"Hmm, it seems like it's irresponsible to leave her here alone, but it also seems irresponsible to take her with us." Ruby said.
Emma hummed. "Maybe you could put her in the baby carrier thing! Like the one you put on your body! That'd be safe right?"
Ruby snapped her fingers and grinned. "Hell yeah! I'll be back." Ruby said, taking off down the hallway to Robyn's bedroom. A few minutes later she came back to the living room wearing the baby carrier with a sleeping Robyn inside of it. "Okay, she's asleep so let's try not to wake her up." She said, hopping on the broomstick behind Emma.
Emma turned around to look at Robyn and frowned. "Dude, why'd you wrap a diaper around her head?" She asked.
"I figured she might need some extra padding! Just in case." Ruby reasoned.
Emma nodded. "Good idea. I'll put a protection spell around her too, just in case." Emma said, waving her hand over Robyn. "You think we'll need helmets too?"
Ruby shrugged. "Can't be too careful."
Emma nodded and with a wave of her hand, helmets and protective padding appeared on both of them. "Uh, shouldn't we open a window or the door, so I can fly out?"
"I just thought you would poof us outside." Ruby said.
"Oh, yeah I can do that." Seconds later, a poof of white smoke engulfed them, and they were outside hovering above the ground. "Ready?" Emma asked, unable to hold in her excitement.
Ruby grinned and held on to Emma. "Hell yeah! Let's fly this thing!"
A/N:Ruby and Emma are absolutely wild, but do you really expect anything different from them?
Regina and Zelena living together? That's going to be interesting for sure!
Comment and tell me some things you'd like to see in the next upcoming chapters!
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