Serendipity

by Florexandra

Seveteen-year-old Kay Daniels lived a perfectly normal boring life that she was content with. That is until Cameron Black and his brother Jonathan moved to town. Kay would do anything to get Cameron off her back. Soon she realizes that all this newfound chaos might bring her more peace than she thought possible but as Cam would say, "Nothing's impossible" Collab with SandfireKat :3

3. Chapter 3

Nobody liked Mondays. Nobody sane, did, anyway. You just spent your entire weekend waking up when you wanted, doing what you wanted, actually having the time to breathe, not having to put up with stupid peers or teachers, and now suddenly you're opening your eyes again at 5:30 in the morning to the same old alarm you've had for ages, already cursing everything there is to curse because now you have to get up and you already know it's going to be an awful day. Because it's a Monday. Or at least, that's what Kay thought. Call her cynical. Every single Monday, in fact, she woke up already hating the day. Every. Single. Monday.

Except...not this Monday.

She was actually excited to get up, today. Or...not excited, but...but she wasn't hating the fact she had to get to school. She got up easier, not even pressing snooze on her alarm. She got up and got dressed and had breakfast all a little faster than normal. On the way out she hesitated...flopped a little back and forth...until she eventually came to the conclusion that maybe...wearing her glasses to school wouldn't be an entirely horrible idea. Just this once. Because her new contacts hadn't come in yet, and...well there was just no harm in wearing them.

She got her keys and slipped outside, locking the door behind her. She got in the car and turned up her music a little bit louder than normal as she pulled out of the driveway, and for once, she wasn't still trying to wake herself up as she drove to school. She was already awake- she was already wide awake. There was more bounce to her step when she parked and walked up to the school. She hurried to her locker to get her things. All the while, subconsciously looking through the halls, trying to see if she could see Cameron. Usually, he was hanging out with people before classes started. Sometimes he was by her locker...a lot of the times, he was at least around her locker. She knew Jonathan started out the day in the library, unlike him. Maybe he was there because she wasn't seeing him anywhere else.

Nevertheless. She walked to her first hour briskly. And the second she was walking over the threshold, she was biting back a tiny smile when her eyes landed on Cameron. He was already sitting down for class, in the desk beside hers. It wasn't ever where he typically was, but it didn't matter. He was sitting there now, and she found herself smiling as she went over to take her own seat. The last time she'd seen him, was Friday.

She'd thought about texting him...but she got too in her head, and overthought it in her head, eventually just giving up on the idea because she was too awkward to know what to say. He'd never texted her either, so they just hadn't talked. She was still a little nervous after the way it had ended...every step she took closer to him, her stomach was gnawed a little more with apprehension. But she remembered all the other stuff, too. All the other stuff that vastly outnumbered and therefore outweighed the one odd ending to the night. How he had called her cute, had told her she was smart...how he'd given her the best, most fun night she'd had in quite some time. She reminded herself of those, too. Saying they were important, too.

Just like she had been telling herself that all weekend.

She rounded her desk and sat down. Cameron was on his phone. She didn't know what he was doing on it, but he seemed very focused on the screen; he didn't even look up at her. He was propping his head upon his hand, covering his mouth in the process. He was hunched over his desk a little bit. He looked tired. Like he hadn't been looking forward to this Monday at all, unlike her. He looked more like her typical reaction to the start of school weeks: already finished. She thought it was a little odd...he seemed to look a lot more tired than he should be. Unless he was out partying every single night after he'd left her. There were unnatural shadows under his eyes.

She waited a couple of seconds, which seemed much longer than just that. He didn't glance at her. So she cleared her throat a little awkwardly. He straightened a little, but still seemed intent on whatever he had pulled up. She took the last step, her apprehension beginning to grow. "Hey...Cameron," she smiled. His eyes flickered over to her. There wasn't the usual funny, eager look in his eyes. There wasn't..anything, really, when he looked at. Truthfully, if someone leaned over and told her it was actually Jonathan sitting beside her right now, she'd believe them more than she was believing herself at the moment. Because he seemed as blank as a slate. "Happy Monday," she tried, pulling out the most 'Cameron' thing she could think of to say. Silently hoping he would follow her lead.

He stared at her for a second, before he just nodded. He looked back at his phone.

She frowned. Already, she was deflating in her seat. Her forehead creased as she looked at him a little closer. Her nerves were already fraying...she was already concerned she was pestering. She had a habit of giving up the second she got the vibe someone was getting impatient with her. Which she thought a lot. But...this was Cameron. He was different. Right? Right. He was, and this wasn't like him, so it did enough to give her the courage to lean a little closer and ask: "Are you okay?"

Cameron's eyes flickered to her again. They flashed with some kind of emotion, this time. She just...wasn't too sure what that emotion was. She tried to smile again. Tried not to seem too concerned. She didn't really have a right to be concerned...did she? Were they that good of friends, yet? Of course, they were! Or maybe they weren't? Here she was, overthinking it all again… "Sorry, you just...you seem…" She was struggling not to allow herself to get flustered. That was a bad habit of hers, too. But she was having a hard time finding the words. "I don't know," she ended up landing on, feeling stupid when Cameron just kept staring at her with that blank look. "You seem...off."

Cameron kept staring for a couple of heartbeats. Before he shifted his hand enough to get it off his mouth. Still holding up his head, like if he didn't, there was a risk of him just collapsing down to the desk and falling asleep. "'Off?'" he repeated. Kay frowned, leaning back a bit again. His voice sounded...flat. Not like his own. Dull, and...almost...annoyed? Cameron never got annoyed. Cameron was annoying. That was how it worked. He looked down at himself like he was trying to find the source of an issue. It looked for a second like he was going to turn back to her, afterward. But maybe not. Because he ended up just looking back at his phone. "I'm fine."

Her hands started to wring, where they sat in her lap. She was biting down on her lower lip, by now. Nobody else that was there already just waiting for class to start was paying attention to them. She was glad. Already, she felt embarrassed enough, just staring at him. If they had an audience, it would be ten times as bad. She was tempted to just let it drop. A majority of her would have let it drop about a semester ago, but...now she was more hesitant. Now, despite the trace discomfort, she pressed a little bit anyway. "You don't seem like it…" Cameron's eyes flashed. He tucked more into his phone. This hesitation was a lot longer. When she broke the silence, her voice was a tiny murmur. "Cameron, if I...if I did something…"

"Kay." She snapped her mouth shut, her stomach doing a flip when she heard how flat his voice was. He didn't look at her; she was glad. She was fairly positive that she was doing a horrible job of keeping her expression in check. She could already feel the hurt on her face. And it only grew when Cameron shifted in his chair and scooted just a fraction away from her. Like he couldn't stand to be close. "Just stop." His words were soft and muffled into his hand, which he was using to prop his head up. Her eyes widened a little bit. He added, still in a mumble: "Just leave me alone."

She stared at him, confused and shocked and angry and hurt. She wasn't sure which one of those she was, more. Cameron let it die, there. He didn't even glance back her way. She pressed her lips together tightly, her shoulders hunching as though she was in pain as she turned back front. She looked down at her desk, not sure what to do. She glanced at Cameron a few more times, but there was nothing to see. Suddenly...he wanted nothing to do with her.

She'd hoped that ending to their night wouldn't carry over. It had been sudden and random...she'd hoped it was a fluke. But he was still acting oddly. He was still averse to even being near her, it seemed. Her chest hurt. It hurt. To remember the way he'd smiled at her and said all those sweet things to her, and then just...changed his mind. And still...he was still…

It was something she'd done. All those things she'd said, it had been too much.

She felt horrified. Embarrassed, upset, terrible, sad. It was all rushing through her all at once.

She stiffened when she realized that her eyes were beginning to prickle, and her vision was blurring just the tiniest bit. She immediately closed her eyes and shook herself, inhaling sharply and clearing her throat. She shoved it all down. She told herself to grow up. She turned to her backpack and fished out her notebook, flipping it open to a random topic for the class. She didn't care what it was; she would just study. If Cameron didn't want to talk to her, it was okay. She would just study.

She would just go back to passing the morning like she always did.

She'd just study.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She hoped that it'd stop. Whatever it was, she didn't even know in the first place. It had come along so randomly...she was just hoping that it would leave just as much so. But the next morning was exactly the same. Cameron hardly looked at her during English. He didn't even say hi to her. This time, she didn't try and worm anything out of him. She looked at him and hoped there would be something changed. She hoped that there would have been something else. Maybe she'd looked for too long. But no. She'd been disappointed. There was nothing.

She'd focused back on the class. She'd walked into her next hour with a dark cloud hanging over her. And she walked into band with an even darker one. She knew it was stupid, to feel lonely. After all, before this semester, all she'd been was lonely, and she'd liked it. Or...she'd thought she'd liked it. Now she wasn't so sure. Because it felt pretty empty to walk in and not see Cameron smile hugely at her and wave. To see him not even glance at her because he was too busy talking to everyone else in his section. She sat down in front of him and he didn't even flicker with recognition. It was like she was a ghost, suddenly.

Her chest was heavy, when she just sat numbly in class, watching the clock and begging it to move faster. At one point, the clarinets were signaled out to practice a section in particular; the rest of the class was told to wait it out a little bit, and they'd all come back together once the problem spot was corrected. She'd sagged a little bit in her chair, exhaling heavily. She'd started to try and distract herself by thinking about what she would make for dinner tonight. When all of a sudden, she realized she felt suddenly self-conscious.

Before she even realized it, she turned around. She looked back over her shoulder, and her heart dropped a little bit when she realized Cameron was staring at her. She was caught off-guard, by it. But she was mostly caught off-guard by his expression. He was staring at her...and he looked sad. Sad, and extremely, unbearably disappointed. It was so palpable and unexpected that for a second, all she could do was just stare at him.

She was only silent for a couple of seconds, though. Before she found her voice. It was soft, and she wilted a little when she whispered back to him. But it was there. She hadn't tried to talk to him since yesterday morning, though she'd glanced at him since then plenty of times. But she was trying again, and despite everything, despite the wondering, she'd spent asking herself what she'd done wrong, all that came out was: "Are you okay?"

His eyes flashed, at the question. He sat up a little straighter. He blinked fast, a couple of times like he was stunned- like he hadn't realized he was looking at her in the first place. Kay's face fell, worry and concern heavy there. He only looked at her for a couple of moments more. Before he did exactly what she was fearing he would, and just looked away. His eyes went back front, to the director. She searched his face still, begging him to look back at her. If he heard her silent pleas, though, he ignored them. He stayed looking front.

Kay lingered for just a couple seconds more. Just long enough to know for sure that he wasn't going to say anything, or give in. Just long enough for her to feel that disappointment sink into her fully, and weigh in her stomach like a rock.

Just long enough for her to see that his eyes were a little shinier than normal.

And then she turned back front, too. The concern staying on her face. And the rock staying in her stomach.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She waited for the bell, on pins and needles. She hadn't listened at all to the lecture in her science class. She just watched the clock and waited. Waited for that minute hand to tick it's way over to the three, and the second it did, and the second the bell rang to dismiss them, she was up on her feet. She hadn't even taken the time to get out her notebook in the first place, so there was no need for her to stop and pack up like everyone else was currently doing. She rushed out of her desk and shrugged on her backpack, veering not over to the door like she usually did, but over towards the back of the room instead. To the back of the room and the farthest corner, where Jonathan was sitting.

He always sat in the back. Take Cameron and flip him to be the perfect inverse of himself, and you had Jonathan. He took to the back, he didn't say much. When nothing was happening, he seemed to get swamped with some kind of other thought, staring into the distance a little like he was trying to figure out some math equation, while Cameron usually distracted himself by doing something obnoxious. Cameron walked the halls and spent the entire time talking, either walking with someone or flagging someone down to talk their ear off. Jonathan walked through the hall with headphones in. Unless, of course, he was walking with Cameron. She was pretty sure that was the only time she ever saw him walking in the hall without listening to music.

She walked straight over for him. He'd already put away his notebook. He was just beginning to fish out said headphones and untangle them. Right now, she was thankful for the fact they always seemed to tie themselves into knots for no discernable reason at all. Right now it was distracting him pretty well. He wasn't even halfway through getting them straightened out when she reached his desk. "Jonathan." He perked, looking up. There wasn't any expression on his face at all when they locked eyes. She didn't know whether or not that was surprising, to her. Whether or not it meant anything.

She was a little surprised that he stopped in the first place. She expected him to just keep packing up and ignore her. Not that he'd been rude to her before, he was actually a very good lab partner to have, she supposed he and Cameron had that in common. But by this point, she was so used to Cameron ignoring her that she automatically expected his brother to do the same thing. So when he stopped and looked at her, she stopped short, her mouth staying a little open as she blanched, staring at him and saying nothing. She realized she hadn't actually come with a plan of what to say.

He raised his eyebrows a little. Impatient was starting to border the look he was giving her.

She weakened, trying to grasp for something. Suddenly the embarrassment that had followed her like a cloud was getting about a million times heavier. After a couple of seconds of silence, Jonathan tore it. He turned and shrugged on his backpack, still trying to untangle his headphones as he started to walk out the door. She finally got herself to snap out of it, and before she really knew what she was doing, she was throwing her arm out to stop him. "Wait!" He did, but not without giving her a very irritable look. She tried to look past it. "Wait, I want to talk to you."

"About what?" he demanded, glancing past her to the door. "Spit it out."

She gripped one strap of her backpack tightly, hoping to squeeze her nerves away. She took in a fast breath, but she was determined to get it out this time. "I was...I'm worried about Cameron." She could see the look on his face change, with this. Before, he was irritated. She could practically see him mentally screaming at him to leave him alone. But the instant his brother's name was said, he was stopping and looking at her with concern. It was a subtle concern...barely-there worry. But she could tell that she struck a nerve with him. It made her all too sure about going on. "He's been...he's been acting differently, he's been distant...he hasn't been himself, I'm...I'm really worried about him."

Jonathan still kept staring at her. It looked like he had no idea what to say.

She bit down briefly on her lower lip before she asked: "Did something...happen? He seems really upset, did something...go wrong?"

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to ask. The second she asked, she knew it was. His guard was immediately springing back up again. His worry melted away, and his eyes were narrowing a little again. His voice was taut and curt. "Nothing happened, I have no idea why Cameron's acting weird. I don't keep tabs on him every single second of every single day. Despite popular belief." He made a move like he was going to step around her.

She moved to block the effort. "I know," she said, ignoring his sharper glare. "But...but something seems really wrong, have you not noticed? He's...he hasn't been talking, he doesn't make...jokes like he used to, he doesn't even-"

"I haven't noticed anything," he rebutted. "Cameron's been acting just fine around me. In case it hasn't crossed your mind, maybe Cameron's just got an issue with you." She jerked, surprised and offended by the sudden accusation. "And I don't really feel like getting in the middle of whatever fight you two have going over...which instrument is better, or whether or not some book character is the villain." This was all snapped out, carelessly and bordering on the edge of mean. Kay was almost stunned, with it all. He made a move to get around her again. This time he actually got a few steps.

But she got herself to move. She rushed back and planted herself in front of him. She was glaring at him, now. Her voice was more barbed, the longer he was pushing her. "You called him," she snapped. He did a double-take. He opened his mouth like he wanted to snap something back, but nothing was coming out. "You called him, Friday night," she went on. "I don't...I'm not saying it's got anything to do with you, but...it was a fun night, and you called him, and...and the second you did, he flipped a switch. We went right home, he was practically running away from me," Jonathan weakened just a little, and she did not mistake the reaction, "and ever since then, he...he hasn't been talking to me. Today in band, he looked really upset, he...he looked like he was-"

"Listen," Jonathan said thinly, cutting her off. She stuck her tongue hard into her cheek, trying to fight the urge to glower at him. And the urge was even harder to ignore when he said: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Really?" she demanded. "Really? You're going to try that?" He said nothing. "I know you called him, Jonathan, I was right there, I heard him talking to you. He told me he had to rush home because you had a big science test you needed help studying for." Jonathan shifted his weight a little from foot to foot when she snapped: "And I don't know what science class you were in yesterday, but I was here, and we didn't have one."

He stared at her for a long moment. His eyes stayed narrowed, and his expression stayed guarded. She waited, her arms crossed over her chest now. Eventually, he shook his head. "I gotta go," he sighed. Her face fell, and so did her arms. He ignored her. "I don't know what's going on between you and Cameron, but if he doesn't want to to talk about something with you, I'd recommend you backing off." This was said with surprising acidity. He brushed past her and this time he did so with enough force that he was practically shouldering her aside.

"Just leave him alone, if he wants you to leave him alone," he tossed over his shoulder, as he headed for the door. "And leave me alone about it, too."

She stood there dumbly, her mouth hanging open like she wanted to call back out to him. But she couldn't find the words. He was out the door before she could shake out of it. So she was left just standing there in the science lab, in silence. Feeling just as hurt and confused as she'd had when she'd first gone over to him.

Or maybe, somehow, she felt even worse.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

She was going to take her lunch to the library. It was quieter there, and she would get more work done, and...well, she just didn't want to be in the cafeteria. She just needed some peace and quiet. A place to be by herself specifically, because if she was going to be by herself anyway, she wanted it to be on her own terms. Cameron hadn't spoken to her in days. She still had no idea what was wrong, but she was starting to realize whatever it was, it was sticking stubbornly. Whatever she had done, whatever she had said, it had been enough. He barely even looked at her anymore. When he spoke, it was just off-handed mumbles, accompanied by a quick getaway.

She was irritated.

Or...she was trying to be irritated.

If she was irritated, maybe she wouldn't notice how sad the new silence made her.

She wasn't even that hungry. She just got a salad. Something small she could sneak into the library, though the librarians always turned a blind eye to her thanks to the fact she was such a frequent flyer, and something she could save for later because she already knew she was just going to pick at it. Oddly enough, school food didn't make her more inclined to eat. So she just got that and started for the library, stepping around people who were talking much too loud, just to be heard over the roar of everyone else trying to be heard.

Once she left the cafeteria, and started to leave behind the yelling and shouting and laughing, the silence was sudden. It was a drastic change, that only got more noticeable the further she walked. But she was finding comfort in it- a sense of peace that she was sure she'd get more of at the library and told herself that it would be worth the trip. And that it would make her feel better. But halfway there, she stopped short, her face falling a little when the silence was interrupted. When she could hear someone talking. And someone talking angrily.

It was because they were so angry it was so easy for Kay to hear them. She took a couple more unsure steps, but hesitated and came to a stop, looking over her shoulder back to where it was echoing over to her from. It was coming from the bathrooms- specifically, the boy's bathroom. And she realized, standing there with a growing frown on her face, that she recognized the voice. Even from here, she recognized it. She just...didn't recognize what they were talking about. And the sheer acidity that was in their voice. "Leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it." It was Cameron. She knew. Even though she didn't know why he sounded so different...she knew it was him. And before she could stop herself, she started walking back, closer to the door so she could listen better.

"Oh- oh I get it, you don't wanna talk about it." She stiffened when she heard Jonathan's voice. He sounded about ten times as upset as Cameron did; she hadn't even thought it was possible. "You don't get to choose whether or not you wanna talk about it, Cameron. Are you kidding me!? Look at me! You're smarter than this! What in the world are you thinking!? How does this help?"

"Get out of my way," she heard Cameron snap. Her heart tugged when she realized his voice sounded a little thicker, now. "Get out of my way, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you."

"Cameron." This apparently was snapping Jonathan out of whatever anger he had been stuck in. Kay wilted even more when his voice lost practically all of its air. When he sounded more tired and more strained. She wondered whether he was trying to take a page out of the same book she was...trying to lean on his anger more so that he wouldn't notice how sad he was. Apparently, their luck with it was the same, too: it wasn't working. "Cameron, stop, I'm sorry- I- just-" His voice was getting more clogged, too. "Just talk to me, Cameron. Please? Tell me...tell me what I can do to help you. I want to help you."

"It's fine, there's no helping anything," he grumbled. "You know that just as well as I do."

"Cam...don't be like this. You're not alone- we're in this together. Aren't we? I'm still with you; don't shut me out. And it's...Cam, it's not going to be for much longer, the second we-"

"I don't want to do it at all, anymore!" This was snapped out, very suddenly. Like he hadn't meant for it to get out in the first place. Dead silence met the burst. Kay's eyes widened a little. She couldn't move away from the door. Cameron kept on after a second, but his voice was much weaker, in more of a grumble. "I'm sick of it."

"You don't think I'm not?" Jonathan asked, being much gentler. "But, Cam, you just have to breathe, and tell yourself-"

"Don't tell me to breathe," Cameron scoffed. "Just get out of the way."

"Cameron." The edge was starting to come back. "I'm not gonna let you keep doing this. I'm just not. You're not gonna have a choice, I'm not going to let this keep happening."

"Get out. Of the way," Cameron repeated slowly, much more acidicly.

"Does this have something to do with Kay?" She froze at the mention of her name. Her stomach dropped, and her eyes went even wider. "Yesterday she came up to me, she was telling me all about how you were acting different, it got me worried but I had no idea-"

"I don't want to talk about Kay," Cameron practically spat. "I just want you to get out of my way!"

"I'm sorry, Cameron. About Friday night, I'm sorry I ruined it," Jonathan burst out. "I shouldn't have called you, I should have just dealt with it myself, I should have let you finish your night."

"That's not the point!" Cameron snapped. "Don't apologize about calling me, I would have been mad if you hadn't called me!"

"Well, then what's wrong!?" Jonathan hissed. "What do you want from me!?"

"Nothing! I don't want anything from you! I'm not mad that you called me! I'm mad that- I'm mad that you had to call me!" Kay's face fell. Confusion started to mingle with the sorrow in her expression. "I'm mad that you had to call me and there's no fixing it and everything's useless and everything is awful and I'm mad that there's nothing else to do other than this so just get out of my way leave me alone and stop bugging me!" The more he spoke, the faster he spoke, and the louder, as well. Everything snowballing in sorrow and regret and anger.

She didn't have time to react, or even realize what was happening. But Cameron must have shoved Jonathan aside because all of a sudden the door was bursting open. Kay jumped backward and made a half-baked plan in the back of her mind to skitter away, but there was no point. The damage was already done. The second Cameron flung open the door, he was locking eyes with her. Her heart twisted even more when she saw that his eyes were filled with tears. Much more noticeable than when they'd been in band class. They looked only a blink away from streaming down his face.

He already looked upset and distraught, but the second he was looking at her, everything got multiplied by ten. At first, his face just fell. His eyes widened a little, to match her own. The two of them stared at each other in silence, each as equally confused and upset as the other, of course, for different reasons. Jonathan had started to rush up behind Cameron, but he froze in his tracks when Cameron did. He looked upset too, but when his eyes landed on Kay, he became much more guarded, almost like a reflex. His eyes narrowed, his jaw locked back. His stare turned much more defensive.

But Kay wasn't focusing on him; she was just looking at Cameron. Her chest actually hurt, when she did. When she saw how different he looked, upset like this. And at first, that was all he looked: upset. Severely, and horribly so. But once he got over the shock, then was when it got ten times as angry. He glared at her, and the anger on his face was enough to take her breath away just because she was so unprepared for it.

Her shoulders drooped. Her heart was sliced with pain again. But she found that without thinking about it, she was already taking a step closer to him, trying to say something. She wasn't sure what she was trying to say. She would take anything. She didn't have much of a chance to figure it out, though. All she could get out was a stutter of: "Cameron…" before he was snapping out of whatever was keeping him in place.

The instant his name was leaving her, he was turning abruptly. Without glancing back at her, or his brother, he turned and started to rush down the hall. Kay turned and watched, disappointment punching her directly in the stomach. He wasn't even going towards the lunchroom; she had no idea where he was trying to go. She guessed that meant he was just trying to go anywhere she wasn't. She wilted, standing there for a while and just watching him leave. Then she was turning back to Jonathan, confused and hurt and already asking a million questions.

But he took after his brother. He held her stare for a couple of seconds, but it was only that brief amount of time. Then he was shaking his head hard like he was answering some kind of question for himself, and he turned, rounding the corner and rushing after Cameron without another word. He didn't even glance back at her. She heard him call out his brother's name, but she didn't get to see whether or not he caught up to him. They disappeared down another hall before he got close enough.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was a quiet night. Kay was not unfamiliar to them. Usually, they didn't bother her.

But this one was.

She was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She didn't have anything else to do and believe her, she'd tried to exhaust every possible distraction. She'd even already finished an essay that wasn't due for another month. There was just nothing to do but lay here and stare. She felt hollow and sad. Her head fell to the side and she looked at her phone that was on her bedside table. She'd put it in to charge, but there wasn't much of a point, because nobody was texting her. Cameron certainly wasn't...he still wasn't even talking to her. All week, at school, he had iced her out like they were strangers. She was still replying the scene from a couple of days ago in her mind. Wondering what they had been yelling about. Why Cameron had been crying. Why he felt like he couldn't talk to her.

Because you'd talked to him too much, she thought bitterly. You opened up your stupid mouth and told him way too much information way too fast. You scared him off, finally. I don't know why you're so surprised.

She wilted, her heart tearing a little.

Her eyes stayed fixed on the phone. Something told her to drop it before she lost anything else.

But Cameron must have rubbed off on her. Because she wasn't paying attention.

Before she even really knew it, she was reaching out. She grabbed her phone and sat up a little bit, unlocking it and going to her messages. Most were from her parents, but she still had Cameron's messages saved. At first, it had just been questions about their project. Times to meet, or late-night ideas. Of course, Cameron had been the one to change the dynamic and begin texting her about other stuff (the first non-academic text he'd sent had been: 'Hey, just asking for a quick opinion here, but do you think it's appropriate to call the police about a Monopoly game? Because Jonathan's been cheating this entire time so I need him arrested immediately.') She'd started texting him out of the blue, too...when their project had been turned in and graded, Cameron had sent her about a million emojis to celebrate, including but not limited to the 100, the smiley face with the sunglasses, and the smiley face with the cowboy hat, which he'd followed up with a hearty 'Yeehaw.'

He hadn't texted her, recently, either. Opening up their chat, she weakened even more when she saw the last exchange they'd had.

'Do you think there's such a thing as fate?' Cameron had asked, out of nowhere.

'It's one in the morning,' she'd replied. Looking at it now, she felt an unexpected tug of frustration she had responded so curtly.

'One in the morning is the best time to ask such questions, Kansas.'

'I don't know. I don't think so.'

'Well that's simply no fun,' he'd replied.

'How would you explain all the horrible things that happen?' she'd returned.

'Some could argue people deserve what happens to them.'

'I meant for the people that don't.'

'Maybe it's credit,' he'd suggested. 'Maybe you have to suffer through something in order to get something good one day. Something really good. Something that'll make it worth it.'

She hadn't replied for some time. When she finally had, it was just: 'You really believe that?'

'I have to,' he'd responded.

She hadn't said anything back, then.

Now, her eyes were stuck on those three words.

There were other texts, after that, but they were all hers. Multiple texts, that started out as just 'Hey' to 'Are you mad about something?' Spanning days, each one was ignored. Cameron had read them- she could tell that much. But he had made the specific effort not to respond. The last one she had sent had been on Tuesday. After that, she'd pretty much gotten the message, as bitter a pill as it was to swallow. He didn't want to talk. She didn't know why, and she wasn't really sure what she had done. But it had been something. And she wasn't going to keep trying to force for a friendship that he obviously didn't want anymore.

But now, she caved again.

'Hey.'

She sent it and waited. He was usually always quick to answer. But she got nothing.

She was expecting that.

She typed without thinking. She knew she would regret it later. But that wasn't right now. 'I just wanted to tell you that if something is wrong, you can tell me. You don't have to feel alone if you need someone to talk to I'm right here.' Again, she waited, and again, after a couple of minutes, she got nothing. 'I'm just worried about you. You haven't been yourself, lately.' Pause. Nothing. Type again. 'And if it's something I did, I'm really sorry. You're a good friend, I really appreciate you, I would never want to make you angry or upset.'

She stared at the phone in desolate disappointment when she still got nothing.

Eventually, stupidly, she landed on: 'I hope you have a good weekend, Cameron.'

She sent this, and immediately stiffened when there was a reaction. She sat up even more and her eyes went a little wide when she saw the three little typing bubbles pop up on Cameron's end. It was pathetic, how excited and happy those three little dots made her. Just the smallest indication he wasn't ignoring her, and she was so alert. She held the phone a little tighter and she watched nervously as the bubbles continued to signal to type.

Then they went away. Kay's shoulders went slack when he stopped.

They came back up again, and she frowned when they disappeared even quicker this time.

Once more, they popped up, but this was the shortest yet. He was typing and backspacing- starting and then regretting. And sure enough, after this time, they left altogether.

Kay's heart sunk when they did. When Cameron must have turned his phone off, or even deleted the chat because he was so sick of looking at it. Kay was left alone again. And stupidly, even though she would have thought it was possible, she felt even lonelier than she had before.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

Cameron didn't show up to school on Wednesday. Kay tried not to think much of it. After all, he very clearly wanted nothing to do with her throughout the entirety of Monday and Tuesday. By this point, he was hardly even looking at her at all. She was trying to put him more out of her mind, but it was difficult. He had looked pretty bad, this week. He looked much more tired than he usually was...so she just assumed he had taken a sick day, that day. But then he hadn't shown up Thursday, either. She had told herself maybe it was a stomach bug, and that he'd be back soon. But then he was gone Friday, too. Missing three out of five school days, when he hadn't been absent before at all.

She'd been painfully aware of the fact he was gone. Which was funny, when you consider the fact he had already been ignoring her, before now. Maybe she should have been accustomed to the silence, but this silence was different. It was strange not to glance over to the left and see him sitting beside her in first hour. Or to turn around and see him doing something stupid with his trumpet during band. He was new to the school, this semester, but to not see him mixed in with the other students was odd. To not see him in the trumpet row, to not see him in the halls talking to Jordan and debating whether or not they could fit a cow through the main entrance for their senior prank next year.

Kay had missed talking to him, but now that he was gone she was left to realize how much she just missed him in general. She missed walking into band third hour, to see he was already set up and playing a very loud and very obnoxious song that was somehow a mashup of The Pink Panther and Jingle Bells. Making Beth crack up and lean out to shove at his shoulder as a gesture of humor, but the entire band knew (besides Cameron of course) was an attempt at flirting.

She missed him flagging her down at lunch. When he didn't walk her to her next class afterward, telling her some long-winded joke that was hardly ever funny in the long run; she just laughed because of how much he made himself laugh. She missed him lingering near her locker at the end of the day just to walk out to the parking lot together because he thought of another funny story to tell her. When he told her she would see her tomorrow, and walk away throwing over his shoulder, "And you don't have a choice, either, because it's against the law to skip school. So. I'll see you tomorrow, or I'll see you in court."

She just missed him in general. He hadn't been that way with her for a while now. But at the very least, he had been there. Now that he was gone, it felt even worse. She could hardly concentrate in class, just wondering where he was. Why he wasn't at school, if something was wrong, if he was okay, why he was ignoring her, what she'd done wrong, and the cycle would just get worse from there on out. She wasn't one to daydream, and lapse in attention. She hated Cameron for driving her to that point.

Jonathan wasn't at school, either. That made her wonder even more, what was wrong. She could blame it on a simple sickness if Cameron was gone, but for Jonathan to be missing just as randomly? He certainly hadn't seemed as strung-out and tired as Cameron had, on Tuesday. It didn't seem like he could get sick, too. But maybe it was just a fast-acting bug. Or maybe there was a family emergency. She wondered whether or not she should text him, once Thursday came and he was still gone. But as soon as the thought came, she'd taken it back, realizing that he wouldn't answer even if she did.

That was kind of a tipping point, for her. This entire time she had been sad. Upset, and confused, and just asking herself what she did wrong to deserve this kind of treatment. It wasn't until Tuesday, when the thought crossed her mind, that she realized...she didn't. She thought to herself that Cameron would just ignore her, and she felt the first actual sense of anger in response to it. He would ignore her- she knew for a fact. Even if there was something horribly wrong, for some stupid reason he wasn't telling her, Cameron would ignore her and refuse to answer...and why? Why was he angry? He wasn't telling her, and how stupid was that!? They weren't in fifth grade, they were almost in college...and he was ignoring her like they'd gotten into a fight on the playground. Where did he get the nerve to do that? What made him think that was okay?

He was gone Wednesday. And then Thursday, and then Friday. She didn't try and text him at all, over the weekend. But when Monday rolled around, she wasn't going to just take her seat in their first hour and let it all brush off. Monday came around, and she was determined. She made a point to check the parking lot on her way in, and sure enough, she saw Cameron and Jonathan's car parked in the lot. There were nowhere to be seen, but at least she knew that they were somewhere. This time, she was hanging onto that anger, refusing to let herself feel even the tiniest touch of sadness.

Not today.

The instant she got through the doors, she was going to their English class and poking her head in to check his desk. He wasn't there. No matter- because as soon as she turned up empty, she turned and went to his locker instead, to check there. He wasn't there, either. She stopped there for a second and texted him, letting her anxiety over being ignored fly right out the window. She knew she would be ignored. She was texting anyway. 'Are you going to be gone again today?' She wasn't surprised when all there was, was radio silence. She was just severely disappointed. She headed to the cafeteria, to see if he was getting breakfast, but he wasn't there, either. The computer lab just had its normal crowd. Cameron wasn't there downloading some questionable game onto a school computer like their teacher had told him time and time again not to.

By this point, there were only about fifteen minutes left before classes started. But she only really had one more option left to explore. She just shouldered her bookbag and quickened her pace, rushing down for the library. It was where a lot of kids hung out before school actually started. Cliques and groups sat clustered together at tables or stood in clumps in corners, gossiping over some drama that had somehow managed to occur in the short time window of them leaving school, and them coming back. Mostly, it was where kids went to talk; there was rarely anyone actually reading or checking out books, here- at least in the morning, anyway.

But Jonathan was sometimes the exception to that rule. He liked to come down here a lot, from what Cameron had told her. He was the definition of a bookworm, and hardly ever one to be the 'social butterfly.' If Cameron wasn't anywhere he usually was, and he wasn't at class, but their car was here, maybe he was here with his brother.

It was a longshot, but beggars couldn't be choosers. So she went to the library and stood in the doorway, her eyes combing over the room and trying to sort through everyone gathered there. She was starting to think this last resort would be just as wasted as all her others. But sure enough, she stiffened and straightened when her eyes eventually landed on him. He was sitting at one of the far tables, more tucked away into a corner than all the other ones. He wasn't reading; he was facing the person sitting across from him. The person across from him had her back to Kay. But she knew it was Cameron.

Jonathan was frowning. He looked worried. Tired, and upset. His mouth was moving quickly, but she couldn't hear him, on account of everyone else. But his shoulders were hunched, and his posture was much stiffer than it usually was. On impulse, she started over to them. Thankfully, she hesitated about halfway there, and stopped in her tracks. Jonathan was so focused on whatever he was saying to his brother; he hadn't seen her yet.

She bit down on her lower lip and contemplated. Her eyes were solely for Cameron now. They narrowed just a little, and after one more second of thinking, she looked down and slipped her phone out again. She opened her messages and sent him another text. 'Are you here?' The second she hit send, she was pocketing the device again, looking up and waiting as she stared a hole through her friend's back.

Sure enough, not half a second later, the phone sitting on the table beside him buzzed. She saw him turn a little bit. Saw him supposedly make eye contact with the notification. And a surprising amount of embarrassment and anger flooded through her when she saw him turn it off promptly, and stick it away. The anger she'd started to let fester under her skin starting Thursday was coming back full-force. Now, it was practically burning. Her teeth gnashed together, and her eyes narrowed even more. There was no actual thought at all as she stomped the rest of the way over to them. And she didn't even wait to actually get all the way there before she was snapping: "Hey!"

Cameron jerked like he was catching himself in the middle of a flinch. He didn't turn; he kept his back to her, and that just made her angrier. Jonathan looked up, though, and at the expression on Kay's face, he was immediately returning her glare. Probably more on protective impulse, than anything else. She didn't talk much to Jonathan. The conversations they'd had were nice enough, and she appreciated him in her science class when he helped her or they partnered up. But they never really got past polite conversation yet. So the warning look he shot her didn't really do anything for her at all. She just kept glaring at her friend. Or, who she'd thought was supposed to be her friend. "What's your problem!?" she demanded when Cameron didn't reply. He didn't even turn to look at her. Like he couldn't be bothered to. "What, all of a sudden you're too good to talk to me!?"

Jonathan shoved himself up, very quickly and roughly; if Kay wasn't so irritated, she would have been caught off-guard by the scowl he was immediately shooting her. "Lay off of him," he growled, immediately protective and practically daring her to keep going. She wasn't in the mood, though. She'd been worried; she'd been scared something had been wrong with Cameron, for practically two weeks, she had been worried something was wrong, but now here he was. Just turning his phone off like they were in middle school!

"'Lay off of him?'" she parroted. She glared at Jonathan, before redirecting it right back to Cameron, who still hadn't turned around. "You know we had a test in English, on Friday? She told us on Monday, and you know she never lets people take tests if they missed them!" This wasn't really the actual problem, but it was the first springboard she was getting to. "I ask you if you're okay and I tell you if you need help you can talk to me, and you just drop off the face of the planet? All I wanted to know was whether or not you were okay, and you just ignore me? What the hell, Cameron!?"

"I said leave him alone," Jonathan growled, rounding the table more so he could get closer to her. Probably trying to come off as intimidating or mean, but Kay wasn't one to play that game. She just glared harder at him. "You're all up in his business, what's your problem!? He can't go a couple of days without talking to you, are you serious?"

"Jonathan…" Cameron mumbled, his shoulders hunching. He was ducking his head, leaning forward more.

Neither of them even glanced at him. Kay's response was barbed and immediate. "Sorry if I think it's rude of someone just to ignore a friend completely for no reason whatsoever. Or finding it annoying to think that someone can just stop talking to you and go silent and think that's a perfectly okay thing to do! Why were you gone?" she demanded, looking back at Cameron. He didn't answer. "Was it a family thing? Were you sick? Why wouldn't you tell me, when I was clearly just worried about you?" She scowled, more and more anger coming over her the longer she was finally allowed to get this all off her chest. "I thought we were actually friends, but I guess not."

Cameron said nothing.

She shook her head. "I thought you were different, Cameron," she said, and this lost a little bit of its fire, just because she was genuinely hurt by her disappointment. He ducked his head even more. "I thought you were…" She hesitated, then shook her head, abandoning the sentence because she wasn't sure how she was actually going to finish it. "But I was wrong. If you think it's okay to just drop someone that hasn't done a single thing to you and turn your phone off instead of just answering a question for them. That's not at all who I thought you were."

"Hey, you have no idea what happened!" Jonathan snapped, moving so he was more in between them.

Kay's anger was flaring back up again. Her scowl was back. "Yeah, because he can't be bothered to tell me!"

"You think he has to tell you everything?" he countered. "We met you a couple of months ago, what makes you so special? When he first got here, you thought he was annoying! You hated him!" She weakened, not sure whether or not she was so put off by how bluntly he said this, or how close he was to actually be right. "Now you're here thinking you're entitled to some...all-inclusive access to him? Give me a fucking break! Get over yourself!"

"'Get over myself?' How about you take your own advice? I don't need to be talked down to by the guy that just thinks he's so cool because he never talks to anyone and just sits in here and reads by himself." His hands balled into fists. Kay's glower soured even more. "I don't think I'm special," she snapped. "I just think there are certain things a person shouldn't do unless they want to be an asshole."

"Right, and of course you would know; you're the stuck-up student council president that's got a four-point-fucking-eight and thinks they're so much better than everyone else because they're taking all AP classes, so everyone should listen to you. When really, you're just compensating for the fact you don't have a social life." She jerked back a little at this, her eyes beginning to sting by now. "Which is why you're kicking in the library door yelling at my brother, because he's the one person that hangs out with you, so he can't possibly leave you even for a second."

Her eyes were welling up even more. She was struggling to get anything out. "You...you have- you're-" She couldn't manage it; she was stumbling.

But before she could struggle for too long, Cameron was interrupting. Without warning, he slammed a hand down on the table and stood up, whirling around so he could shoulder the two of them apart. "Both of you shut up!" he all but yelled. It was a miracle they weren't attracting more attention by now. The instant he planted himself between the two of them, Kay was reeling backward in absolute shock and horror. But if he noticed, he didn't show it. "You guys are both just yelling over nothing!" He whirled around and glared at Jonathan. "Don't talk to Kay like that!" Jonathan opened his mouth as if to object, but for some reason, he bit it back. Under the stare of his brother, he just suddenly looked guilty, and pained. "I know you're angry, but you can't take it out on her! She doesn't deserve it! And none of what you said was even true!"

He hesitated before he turned to Kay. She was still staring at him in abject horror, her eyes wide and her mouth half open. He ignored this, though. "He's just angry," he repeated, his voice turning softer. "And you are too. I'm...sorry I...I haven't been texting you. I didn't really...for the longest time...Wednesday just…" He sighed. "It's a long story…" Kay was hardly listening. She was just staring at him in silence, not even able to blink, she was so floored. He had a huge black eye. A cut sliced deep through his bottom lip. And when Kay glanced down, her heart froze completely when she saw the cast that was holding his arm to his chest, in a way she just hadn't noticed before because it didn't even occur to her that that could be the reason he was sitting with his arms so close to him.

It all must have shown too much on her face because Cameron weakened all the more. He closed his eyes, his blackened one still painfully swollen, and he ducked his head. He did that shuffling thing with his feet he did when he was nervous and couldn't do anything with his hands. She'd seen him do it a million times already, but none of the scenarios in which she had made her heart hurt as much as it was now, seeing it. "I didn't...I didn't know what to tell you," he ended up confessing, in nothing more than a weak murmur. He was strained, as he stared at the ground. Unwilling to look up at her. "I...couldn't...figure out what to...say. I knew you wouldn't...buy anything I'd try to give you..."

She couldn't find her words. Slowly, the shock was fading, but it was only fading to be replaced with deep sorrow. "Cameron…" It was all she could get out. Her eyes were stuck on his cast, now. Her heart felt like it was being twisted.

He tried to offer her a smile. It was weak and pained, and so was his voice when he offered: "It doesn't hurt as much as it did…"

The reassurance did nothing for her. And the question was blurted out before she could stop it. "Cameron, what happened?" She wasn't angry anymore, not for any of it. Not over the weeks of him refusing to speak to her, all the looks he'd shot her, all the silence in response to her texts. None of it mattered at all. She looked away from his arm and up to him, her eyes wide and almost desperate. Begging him to actually tell her what was happening. Or not even that- she was begging him just to let her know he was okay.

He must have registered this, looking at her. His eyes flashed, and something in his expression change, the way she was staring at him. He glanced down at his arm, and then back up to her. Remorse and regret were layering themselves over his face like heavy blankets. "I'm sorry," he managed weakly, not exactly answering her question. Jonathan was silent throughout all of this, just looking between the two of them. When Cameron said this, he looked at his brother and he seemed to lock up all over again. Cameron was just focusing on Kay, though.

Her voice was quiet. But she blurted out her next words without even really thinking. "I missed you."

He stopped a little short; his eyes went wider. He was quiet for a couple of seconds. She flushed with a bit of embarrassment, but something in his expression almost softened. For a split second, the corner of his mouth almost twitched up into a smile. But as soon as it was there, it was already dropping away to be replaced by that sadness again. Though the sadness seemed somehow deeper, now. "I...shouldn't have ignored you. I didn't...I didn't want to, I...it's just...I couldn't...figure out what to tell you. About Friday- about that night I had to leave. And...and that night I just realized- or, I wondered…you asked if it was your fault and it wasn't, and I wanted to tell you it wasn't, but I couldn't, because then...because then I'd have to try and find a way to-"

Johnny took a step forward, his voice suddenly hard when he tried interrupting. "Cam-"

"Johnny, she deserves to hear this." His voice was flat, with the rejection. Jonathan's eyes narrowed as he looked between him and Kay. Her worry was slowly beginning to ebb away into unease, instead. Her hands were beginning to wring in front of her. Cameron tried to pick up again. Jonathan's hands started to curl into fists, as he did. "It's not...I just…" Kay was staring at Cameron in silence, her lips pressed tightly together. He took in a big gasp, like the problem for all his stumbling was just that he wasn't getting enough air in. ".I didn't know if I could tell you- but it wasn't fair for me to just let you-"

"Cameron." Jonathan's voice was somehow flatter and duller. "Stop." Kay watched as Cameron glared into space, shaking his head. He looked back and tried to keep going, but Jonathan was practically shoving himself between them so he could fix his brother with an angry look. She was taken aback by the sudden rage, and how obvious it was. How fast he rounded on Cameron. "You promised," he snapped, and Cameron wilted very noticeably. The simple reminder looked like it took all the air out of him at once. "You can't tell her, Cameron."

He hesitated, hung up on this, apparently. When he tried to fight, there wasn't much fight in his voice at all. "I never actually promised, I-"

"We agreed," Jonathan corrected, his voice staying harsh. This, Cameron winced at. Jonathan's voice dropped down to a hiss when he went on, but Kay still managed to hear it. "We tell anyone, and it gets ten times as bad; don't you remember what happened in fifth grade?" Cameron looked away even more. Kay stiffened when she realized his eyes were starting to get glassier. She started to glare at Jonathan, and take a step closer. He wasn't even paying her any attention. "Do you want all of that to happen again? I know I don't. I can't do all that again, Cameron. I just want to get through these last two years, and doing this isn't going to be the thing that gets us there."

Cameron was quiet for a long time. Before he finally got himself to turn and look back at his brother. Kay noticed how difficult it was for Jonathan to keep his glare when he did. When he turned his sorrowful gaze straight to him. "I don't want to do that, though," Cameron argued. Kay was so lost, just staring blankly at the two of them. But she didn't have to understand what was happening to understand how deep Cameron's sorrow was. It was all in his voice- his hollow tone and his dull look. It spoke volumes, all on its own. "I don't wanna just get through the next two years, Johnny...I wanna live them."

Jonathan set his jaw back. He tried staying firm, but his foundation was crumbling when he eventually choked out: "It's not just your secret to tell, Cameron. It's mine, too."

With the way they were looking at and talking to each other, Kay might as well have not even been in the room. The room may as well have been completely empty, with the way they were staring at each other and whispering. "And isn't that lonely?" Kay had never seen Jonathan look this upset. "She won't tell anyone, Johnny." Jonathan's eyes flickered up to her immediately. And just as immediately, she was shaking her head, not knowing what she was promising, but promising without a heartbeat's hesitation. Cameron melted with gratitude before he looked back at him. "See? I trust her. And I don't want to keep lying to her."

The other twin lifted his head up again, just to stare at her long and hard. She felt like a specimen underneath a microscope, every detail being studied and examined thoroughly. After what seemed like a lifetime of this, Jonathan turned back to Cameron. He agonized and debated. Until he eventually ducked his head, shaking it a little. Kay could have sworn she heard him give a tiny sniff. "Fine." His voice was stiff and curt. Cameron straightened, looking surprised. "Fine; tell her," he snapped. "If you're so confident she won't tell anyone. If you're willing to bet everything on the fact she won't tell…"

"She won't," Cameron reassured. Kay was surprised at the earnesty in his voice, and how quick he was to squash his brother's fears.

He still didn't seem all that convinced. "I'm just saying."

Cameron looked back at Kay, looking like he was about to say something. She waited, her heart in her throat. She'd been wondering for weeks what was wrong with her friend, and now here he was- beaten and bruised, and just about to tell her apparently something awful enough to get Jonathan upset like this. She wasn't making her desperation a secret at all as she stared at him. She practically wasn't breathing. But Cameron's eyes flashed, and he seemed to get a little sidetracked. He turned and looked around them, at the rest of the library. Some of the students had been looking their way, before, and some of them were still flashing glances in their direction. Cameron's beaten-up appearance probably didn't help any. The extra attention was a little more noticeable, in this gap.

Cameron looked from them, back to Jonathan, who was staring at the ground with clear discomfort, now. Something looked very wrong, on his face. Like he was thinking about something awful, and too caught up in it to even realize they had a little more extra attention than they usually did. But Cameron noticed, and coupled with the expression on his brother's face, he seemed to draw a conclusion. He faced Kay again, with clear regret in his eyes. "Kay, I'm- I want to tell you. I will." Her face started to fall. But she mostly just looked confused as he went on. "Just...not here."

She stared at him, befuddled. "I...what do you mean?"

"After school," he blurted out. Jonathan looked up from the floor, blinking a couple of times. Cameron leaned out to nudge him a little bit. "We can meet after school, all of us. We can...go down to the track. Or to the cafe. And we can both tell you, then." He waited for his brother, looking a little unsure. Jonathan stayed doubtful. His eyes flickered between the two of them. Kay was back to staring sadly at Cameron's cast, and something on her face must have convinced him, because he gave in, and gave a tiny nod.

Cameron softened and smiled. Kay was positive she wasn't meant to hear his tiny whisper of: "Thank you, Johnny."

Jonathan looked at him, getting a little hung up on his tiny grin. He shrugged.

There was a brief space of silence, and in that silence, the warning bell rang. All three looked up when it did. Immediately, everyone around them started to gather up their things and leave. There were only five minutes left until classes started, and somehow those five minutes always seemed to pass by much faster than regular minutes. Kay's heart plummeted, at the realization, they had run out of time. She started to say something. But Cameron beat her to it. "We gotta get to class," he sighed. She looked back at him. He tried to smile, but it was more tired than it usually was. "I'm sure I'm gonna get an earful for missing that test."

It wasn't all that great a joke, and he still sounded...not all that much like himself. But it was the closest thing to a joke she had gotten from him in what felt like years. She found herself softening, just at the tiny effort. And rebutting with a just-as-soft: "If she doesn't give you one, I will." His smile about tripled in strength. Hers grew a little warmer, too. But her eyes went back down to his arm and it was back to faltering. His fractured a little, when he noticed. But he just turned to his brother one last time, to say goodbye.

Jonathan had already stooped down to get his bag for him. Cameron gratefully got his good arm through one of the straps and got it on that way. Jonathan made sure he did, before getting his own bag. Kay watched when he leaned out and gave his little brother a gentle hug. Cameron tried to return it as best he could, but it was a little difficult when he could only move one arm. At least Jonathan still appreciated it. They murmured quiet 'See you later's. Something seemed a little different about the way they pulled apart...like neither of them wanted to leave the other.

She looked away, giving them a second of privacy. But she managed to hear Jonathan right before he started away. A simple, soft, yet pleading whisper that hardly reached her ears. She got it all the same. "Please don't make me regret this, Cam…"

He sounded just as sure. "You won't."

Her stomach twisted again, at the easily-given vow. Kay looked up a little to see Jonathan glance at her one last time, still with that odd look, before he turned and walked away. Cameron watched him leave the library, that frown staying on his face. He glanced at Kay once he'd gone, and she stared right back at him, now sure what to say. There was a sense of awkwardness between them that didn't feel all that right. Cameron stooped down to grab his backpack off the ground. "We should...get to class," he offered, quietly, and a little stiffly. He wasn't quite looking at her.

She hesitated. As she remembered the weeks she'd spent wondering if he was okay or if there was something wrong, or what she'd done. Wondering what in the world was wrong, and why Cameron just couldn't tell her now and stop making her wait. But his arm caught her focus again. The bruises on his eye and on his cheek, and the slice in his lip. The way he was looking at her, and the fact that he wasn't smiling his usual toothy grin.

But he was here, at least. He was hurt, but he was talking to her. And he was promising that he would explain it all later...she wasn't quite sure what that meant. But it was something, at least. After a week of being shut out...yes, she wanted an explanation, but at least for right now...she realized she wanted Cameron more.

She recovered her smile. "Yeah," she said. "Let's go."

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

The bell rang, and immediately, Kay was looking anxiously towards the back of the room. All hour, she had been very well aware of Jonathan. When he'd come into their science class, he hadn't even looked at her. And for the entire fifty minute class period, he hadn't looked up once from his textbook, which they weren't even using for that lecture. Paying attention to the material was impossible, for her. She just sat there with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Running over the confrontation this morning and feeling nothing but fear and anxiety for whatever was going to happen after the final bell rang.

Cameron hadn't said anything at all. He was quiet in English, but at least he wasn't giving her the cold shoulder anymore. He got to band and Kay had watched with a sorrowful frown when he'd gone up to the director to speak with him. One couldn't really play trumpet with only one working arm. She couldn't help but listen in a little bit. She caught a little bit of his explanation. "Oh, no, I just fell. Down the stairs, I tried to catch myself, but...obviously didn't work." He'd tried to laugh it off. She just remembered what he'd said before- how he didn't think she would buy 'whatever I tried to give you.' They'd glanced at each other as he took his seat, and his eyes had flashed. He had been quick to look away. Since he couldn't play, he'd just sat there all hour. A miserable frown on his face.

Jonathan looked as upset as he'd been, then. All hour, she was very well aware. And as soon as the bell rang, she was wilting. Her stomach was tying into about seven more knots. She turned and looked back at him, very reluctantly. He glanced at her, but that was it. He got his backpack and picked up his textbook, making for the door. She got up too and started to follow him. Cameron hadn't exactly told her when they'd go...she didn't know whether or not Jonathan was backing out of...whatever this was. But she realized soon after they left the science classroom, that he was heading for her locker. She kept walking about five steps behind him, though. Somehow, it felt too weird to walk any closer.

Cameron was already waiting, when they got there. He was staring at his feet, his back against her locker. Her eyes were drawn to his arm, and her heart tugged in pain. Jonathan reached him first; he was murmuring something to him as Kay came up to him. It was too low for her to hear, but she could see the anxiety on his face as clearly as if he was screaming it. Cameron flashed him a look, but he didn't say anything, getting distracted instead, as Kay got closer. He looked up and gave her a smile. It wasn't his usual smile. It was more deflated; there was less to it. But he was trying. And she found that when she returned the smile, hers was much brighter than it had been in quite some time.

She came to a stop in front of them and for a second, the three just stared at each other. The tension was heavy between them and the longer the silence stretched, the more awkward it became. Jonathan had more of a scowl on his face; he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, looking frustrated when Cameron eventually asked: "Are you ready? You don't have to…?" He gestured lamely at her locker.

She shook her head. "No, I'm...I'm fine."

He nodded a couple of times. The awkwardness didn't get any better. He glanced at Jonathan, and then around the hall, at all the other students. He cleared his throat, looking back at Kay and then at her locker and then over his shoulder. Basically, he was looking at absolutely everything, as if he was looking for an answer on what to do and it was just written down somewhere. "Uh…" Her eyebrows drew together a little. She started to ask him if he was okay when he just tore it and offered: "Here, let's...we gotta...find somewhere." Jonathan threw him a look, which Cameron tried to ignore.

He turned and started down the hall. Kay glanced at Jonathan, but he wasn't taking the time to look back at her. He rolled his eyes a little before he turned and plodded after his brother. Kay was left to just catch up. She trailed after, just trusting that Cameron knew where he was going. She was fidgeting with her backpack strap as she walked, her concerned stare probably burning a hole through her friend's back. A couple of times she tried to break the silence that was choking their tiny group, but she couldn't manage it. She just accepted the quiet, no matter how weird it made her feel.

They weaved through everyone in the hall. They were going against the flow. Everyone was making for the parking lot, and they were going the entirely opposite direction. She realized where Cameron was heading when they went out the back door of the school. They crossed the parking lot, making sure not to get run over in the meantime...and they headed for the football field. Football season had passed (they'd won like two whole games the entire season) so when they got down to the bleachers, there was absolutely nobody there. No practices, no gym classes...it was almost creepy how empty and quiet the whole place was. They went up to sit in the very top corner of the bleachers; their footsteps were loud on the metal. The silence made them seem even louder.

They all sat down together. Jonathan sat close to Cameron; their shoulders were almost brushing. Kay sat on the row just below, so she could turn around and face them fully. She crossed her legs, and then her arms. For a while, nobody said anything. Cameron was switching from just staring at his arm, to looking at his brother. Jonathan wasn't offering him any help, though, so they were stuck. Kay was staring at her friend tensely, but she wasn't about to pressure him. She would give him whatever time he needed.

He was wracking his brain for a long time. Before he eventually smiled a very disappointed, frustrated smile, and laughed bitterly: "This sucks." Kay deflated just a little more. He shook his head. "It's always sucked," he sighed, shooting his brother another look. Jonathan said nothing, but he slouched back against the fencing. He only shrugged one shoulder. Cameron studied him for a second before he looked at Kay, and a little more hesitation leaked into his gaze. "You really….you really can't tell anyone," he warned. She opened her mouth, but he was going on quickly. "I know you won't. But...Jonathan has a reason to be worried. It's...it'd be really bad. So you just have to promise me."

She shifted a little. But replied very earnestly: "I promise."

Cameron waited as if he was deciding whether or not she actually meant it. But nodded after a second and sighed again. There was another big pause. Before he just forced himself to start talking, because then he might actually get somewhere. "I told you we always moved around. And never really...stayed in one spot." She nodded, remembering. It was one of the first times they'd actually talked. "It was always the worst...to just pack up and move. Eventually, we stopped even trying to get to know other people, because we knew eventually we'd just have to leave them behind." The sorrow on his face was a sudden one. It caught Kay off-guard.

He smiled to himself, but it was a smile full of bitterness. "The first time we had to move...that was…" His forehead creased, and he looked at Jonathan. Questioningly, the way someone might turn and look at someone else during a trivia game and ask: 'What was that actor's name again?' Like he was getting tiny details mixed up. So she was even more taken aback when he started to speak, with such a careless, slightly befuddled tone. "I think...the first time we had to move was in...second grade when Jonathan got a sprained wrist." Jonathan nodded, still staring at his feet. Kay's face fell, as she looked between the two of them.

"We moved again in fourth grade...I came to school with short sleeves, 'cause it was hot that day." His smile grew even more bitter. Kay's eyes widened. "Teachers saw the bruises." He shook his head. "Have never made that mistake again." She remembered that day during band practice. How he told Jonathan he was hot, and his brother was just replied with a simple: 'Well...you know.' It hit her for the very first time that she had never seen Cameron wear short sleeves. Not once. She'd never seen Jonathan wear short sleeves, either. Her eyes were gradually widening more and more. That dread was back in her stomach, and it was only getting worse. She was piecing the puzzle together herself, but she was already wishing she wasn't.

"Fifth grade…" Cameron trailed off. He wasn't looking at her, with anything he was saying. He was staring off to the side, his eyes darker than usual. When he said this, his expression grew even darker. Jonathan looked at him. He looked sad, too. Kay swallowed a lump in her throat. Cameron eventually shook his head and skipped whatever it was. "We moved right after that, too, in sixth grade, when a teacher asked why we were so skinny and I didn't have a good enough answer saved up for that one, apparently." It was all said with a regretful kind of humor. Now, Kay was deflating with horrible understanding.

"We skipped eighth grade because we had to move in seventh after Jonathan's nose got broken, and we didn't sign up in time for the newest semester. So we just had to wait, and by then we just...skipped into high school because it was closer. We wouldn't have to walk as far, and we were smart enough for it, and it wasn't like we had friends to stay behind with so…" He sighed. "We moved here because apparently, the teachers were keeping track of how many times we showed up to school with a black eye, and that number got a bit too high. Apparently, they didn't think we could be that clumsy. Which, you know, could be debated, but…"

There was a long period of silence. Kay was staring at him with a heavy heart, but he was still avoiding her gaze. He gave a shrug, just like Jonathan had. "I don't know," he breathed. "Dad just gets mad…" Kay's eyes were already stinging. Her throat was beginning to burn. "He's always hurt us. We've learned to hide it as best we can, but…" He glanced at his arm. "Some things are easier to hide than others."

"Why haven't you told anyone?" she eventually forced herself to ask. Her voice was so small and fragile. On the verge of breaking, already.

Cameron grimaced. Jonathan took this one. "Tried that already. In fifth grade," he grumbled. Cameron looked down at his lap almost guiltily. "Cameron's teacher must have realized something was wrong...they asked him if he was okay, and he got scared. He told her everything- I had no idea. And I have...no idea how our dad got out of that one. But...he did. And he was pissed. To say the least." He drew a hand through his hair, sighing under his breath. "After he figured out it was Cameron that told, he figured he'd learn his lesson more if I got hurt because of it.

"He…" Jonathan took in a slow breath, and it shook a little on its way out. He made a face and shook his head like he was trying to shake free of whatever thoughts were crowding his head. "I don't actually remember what happened." Kay swallowed hard again. This time it was even more difficult. "I just...remember pain. A lot of it...and I remember Cameron was upset." Cameron flinched. His eyes were getting glassy. He drew his knees up to his chest and tried to wipe his eyes in a way that wasn't noticeable. "The next thing I remember clearly was waking up in our room and Cameron sitting by me...telling me it was almost two weeks later. I hardly got out of bed for another week. Let's just say after that, neither of us were very keen on telling."

Kay digested it as best she could. She felt a tear start to make its way down her cheek, so she very quickly wiped it away. She didn't say anything, for a long time. She had no idea what to say. Her eyes went back to Cameron's arm, and her heart squeezed with pain. "What happened this time?" she forced out.

Cameron actually looked at her for a second this time. He offered her another weak smile. "There's usually not a reason," he said. "He was just drunk. And I was in the room. So...naturally…"

She asked the question before she even really knew she had it. "Are you going to move again? Is that...how it works?" Her chest was already tightening, at the prospect.

His face fell. It looked like he was sharing the same train of thought. "I...don't know." His voice was quieter. "We don't always move when something like this happens...otherwise we'd always be moving...it's only for really bad times. When there are too many questions. So...I don't know." Their eyes stayed locked. His face fell, as he studied her. His voice was just a murmur when he said: "I hope not…"

She had to wipe her eyes again. She nodded a couple of times before she looked at her lap.

"The...night of the formal…" She looked back up. His guilt about tripled. "Dad was looking for me, apparently, and I wasn't there. Jonathan was home alone, and Dad was getting angrier...I didn't want to leave him there. So I had to get home. And I didn't know what to tell you, so I just lied, and…" It was impossible to tell who looked sadder, out of the two of them. "And I realized that night...how much it sucks to lie all the time. And the only thing I could wonder was...how many more times I would have to cut our time short. And lie about it to you.

"I didn't want to do that to you. You deserved better, and...and I don't know, I just...hated lying to you. I hated leaving you like that and not being able to do anything about it. I didn't want to...do that to you. I...wanted…" He trailed off for a second. She waited, her heart in her throat. But he just shook his head and doubled back. "I shouldn't have ignored you. But...I was just trying to...avoid hurting you. I guess."

It was like salt in the wound. She couldn't possibly say anything in response.

"I'm sorry," he offered, very weakly and quietly.

She got her voice back, with that. "Don't be," she objected. " Don't be sorry. I'm sorry I got mad...I just didn't understand." His stare was heavy. She tried to clear her throat so her voice wasn't so clogged. "You don't...have to worry about me telling. I...promise I won't. I just want to help you. I just...wanna make sure you're okay."

He softened, smiling a little. And this time, it was an actual smile. More like his own.

Kay looked between the two of them, hesitating for a long couple of seconds. Again, she was acutely aware of how silent the football field was. Her eyes flickered back to Cameron's arm. Like she couldn't stay away for long. "Are you gonna be okay?" she asked, her voice much softer.

Cameron looked a little pained at the expression on her face. He opened his mouth.

Jonathan beat him to it. "We have two more years," he said simply. Kay looked at him, unsure. He and Cameron exchanged a glance, and Jonathan shook his head. "Two more years, and then we can move out. We've been saving...the second we turn eighteen, we're getting out. And we're never gonna look back. We don't have any other family...and we're not dealing with foster care. We've dealt with him for sixteen years...two more is nothing." She still didn't look all that sure. He pressed with a bit more conviction: "We're going to be fine." And there was a certainty to his face that she felt she couldn't argue against.

She ducked her head in a tiny nod. She studied her hands for a few moments, not really sure what else to say.

The three of them sat for a couple more heartbeats, in that earsplitting silence.

Jonathan was the one to break it up. "We should go." Cameron looked like he wanted to argue. But when he looked at his brother, something passed between the two of them, and whatever argument that had started to build on his tongue was dashed. He just nodded, flashing a regretful look in Kay's direction. She just gave him a little smile. But she could feel the sadness on her own face. Jonathan stood up, and he followed suit. She caught the worry that shadowed Jonathan's face when he did. But he was fine, and when Jonathan knew he was, he started to leave.

Before he hesitated. He turned back to Kay, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He opened his mouth. Then closed it again. He looked back at Cameron like he was going to say something to him. But he bailed on that too. The epitome of frustration was on his face when he shot Kay one last look before he turned his back on her and started down the bleacher steps. Kay looked back at Cameron to see he was watching his brother go anxiously. His expression seemed to weigh a million pounds. "Try not to hold it against him," he murmured. "He's really worried about this. He just tries to make it seem like he's not."

It occurred to her she had no idea whether he was talking to her, or whether he was just walking to himself.

He shook himself after a second and his eyes went to Kay. They flashed with something she wasn't too sure she had ever seen on his face, before. She wasn't even too sure that she knew what it was. His voice was quieter when he took her question and redirected it back to her. "Are you gonna be okay?" he murmured.

She smiled. "Yeah...yeah, I'll be just fine."

Cameron nodded. He looked tense and on-edge but just nodded again. "I'll text you later," he offered, and she was almost embarrassed at how the simple promise made her smile almost immediately. She covered it up by ducking her head and fixing her hair. Cameron ducked his head too and started to follow Jonathan. But he stopped and turned, after only making it a few steps down. "I really am sorry, Kay." She wilted a little when she looked at him. At his cut lip and bruised eye and broken arm. And all the sadness suddenly on his face when he repeated his apology from before. "I shouldn't have...pushed you away like that. I just...didn't know what else to do."

She softened. "It's okay," she promised. "I had no idea. But now I do."

He nodded a couple more times. There was a long period of silence. Before he broached very slowly: "Are…" He grimaced a little. "Are we...okay?" he forced out, after a second. She was a little surprised by the question. And the trepidation he had in asking it.

She was surprised at first, but she regained her smile quickly. "Of course." He perked, a little bit of his smile coming back. She was so happy to see it. "Of course we're fine, Cameron." His smile grew. She tilted her head to the side, and her forehead creased a little as she looked at him a little closer. "You'll….just...be okay? And...tell me if something is wrong...you'll tell me the real reason why something is wrong if there is anything?"

He studied her. Somehow, this silence was a different kind than all of what they'd had before. The corner of his mouth twitched upward, into even more of a smile. "I suppose if that's what friends do," he offered. And there wasn't too much laughter hidden behind his voice...but there was some. Hiding underneath the awkwardness this entire situation had brought onto them. She was willing to take it, hoping that little by little, it would come back. Her smile was all the reply he needed. Cameron's smile was much fuller now, as he surveyed her for a couple more seconds.

Before he offered a soft: "See you later, Kansas," and turned to walk the rest of the way down to where his brother was waiting.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

It was raining.

Which figured, because the day was pretty crappy already, so mother nature might as well make it even worse. The worst part about it was that this could all be snow if it was just a couple degrees colder. For now, it was just freezing rain that turned you into an icicle if you stood in it for longer than thirty seconds. But...he had to admit, he didn't mind it, now. Maybe because they'd just made it home before it had started pouring, so he had yet to experience what life was like when you were frozen. But he liked the sound of it. It was kind of soothing. To just lay down and stare up at the ceiling and focus on the drumming sound against the roof, and the windows.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up where it was resting on the mattress beside him. The corner of his mouth twitched up in a smile as he unlocked it. He'd texted Kay a couple of hours ago, around six. For some reason, because he was never one to entertain the idea of hesitancy very much or very often, he'd been reluctant to text her. He hadn't known what to say. He had just spent nearly an entire week ignoring her for no reason...what do you say to someone after you do that? He knew he shouldn't have. He shouldn't have made her feel like she had done something wrong when really, it was just him. Or more specifically, their dad.

But that was the point. Their dad was always getting in the way. Always. He was the reason they could never have kids over to stay at their house like everyone else at school got to. He was the reason they couldn't have birthday parties, or even invite people over for a couple of hours. He was the reason they moved so often, so much so that they gave up on having friends in the first place, pretty much. Or, long-term ones, at least. He was the reason for pretty much everything lacking in their life because something could happen at a drop of a dime that they weren't prepared for. Like Friday, when Cameron had had to leave Kay to get home and make sure Jonathan was okay. Or Tuesday, when his father had yelled at him for 'talking back.' Shoved him to the ground and before he could even really start fighting back, grabbed his arm and broke it without any warning. Then, he had had to drop everything and go to the emergency room and deal with all of that.

He didn't want to do that to Kay. He'd thought that was what ignoring her texts would accomplish.

He just hadn't expected it to hurt so badly, or be so lonely.

He knew he'd handled it wrong, and he didn't know what to say to her. She'd forgiven him at the track but she had probably forgiven him too easily. It was the added pity, surely, that helped her. That was another reason he was too scared to text her...he didn't want to see whether or not she looked at him completely differently, or acted differently towards him. He'd thought of what to text her for ages before he'd finally settled on: 'So does my tragic backstory make me more attractive or less attractive to you? Because if we're going off what happens on The Bachelorette, you should be head over heels right about now.'

He had been on pins and needles for her reply. But it had only taken a couple of minutes.

'Well, I was going to give you the rose, but I know another guy whose dog got stepped on by an elephant. Looks like you're out of the running for now.'

He had felt a stupid amount of relief when she hadn't immediately taken to concern, or asking if he was okay, or bringing up something else that just wasn't...them. If there was even a them, at this point. There probably wasn't, but anyway. He had smiled and even laughed a little under his breath. Before he had replied: 'Oh, but if that's what you're into, then you're never gonna believe what happened to my goldfish.'

Hours later, and they'd diverted a bit. Which Cameron was fine with.

'Does your arm still hurt?' she'd asked.

He typed back. 'Not really. It's more uncomfortable than anything, I think.'

'How is your night going?'

He frowned. Hesitated, before he replied: 'You mean, has your other arm gotten broken yet?'

It took a couple of minutes for her to reply. When she did, Cameron was a little surprised. 'I was mainly asking what you were doing in general. But yes, I would also like to know about the functionality of your other arm, since you brought that up. Along with anything else.'

Cameron stared at the screen for a while. Before he typed slowly: 'I'm just listening to the rain mostly. Still with just the one injured body part.'

Kay had replied with a smiley face. 'I'm listening to the rain, too.'

His eyes lingered on this text bubble. There was a certain kind of tugging in his chest that he wasn't sure he liked. He'd felt the same tugging before, that Friday night they'd spent together. Their Not-Formal-Formal. He'd had fun. The funnest time he'd had in a long while. With someone that wasn't his brother. Kay had said she wasn't good company, but she couldn't be any more wrong. It was the last thing he wanted to do, that night: leave her early. He'd wanted nothing more than to stay, sitting by her in the cold by that pond he'd found.

Suddenly, he found the sudden urge to text her that.

He started to...but then decided against it. He put his phone back down again, instead, and took a break, closing his eyes as he went back to listening to the rain. It felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, that was hard to breathe around. He sighed and reached up with his good arm, to rub at his forehead. A voice from the doorway got his eyes opening again, and his head turning towards it. "You okay?" Jonathan was standing in the doorframe, looking at him with the trademark worry he usually had on his face. At first, Cameron was touched by it, but now it was getting a little annoying. Especially after all these years. But he couldn't ever hold it against him. He'd be awful, to.

"I'm fine," he sighed, dropping his arm. "Just...thinking."

"A dangerous pastime, for you," Jonathan mused, taking the reply as an invitation in and making his way over to him. Wordlessly, Cameron scooted to the far edge of his bed, a little smushed against the wall. Jonathan laid down by him, giving out a big sigh as he laid back and stared up blankly, too. For a while they just lingered there together in comfortable silence, listening to the rain as it continued to pound ceaselessly against the house.

Until Cameron broke through the quiet. "Thank you, Johnny," he murmured. Jonathan perked and looked at him a little oddly. But after a second, his eyes flashed, and his expression turned much more apprehensive like before. That worried, angry kind of look that was distinctly Jonathan's and no one else's. "For letting me tell her," he defined anyway. "I know you didn't want to...and I know it was your secret too. So...thank you. For letting me tell her." Sixteen years and they hadn't told a single friend. It was the loneliest feeling in the world, keeping this secret.

And it was especially lonely when he had to keep it from her.

Jonathan was quiet for a bit. Before he grumbled stiffly: "She just better not tell anyone."

Cameron shook his head. "She won't," he promised immediately. Softly. "I know she won't." Jonathan turned his head and studied him. His eyes narrowed a little, in thought. Cameron mimicked him, turning so he could look at him just as hard. "What?" he asked. Jonathan's eyebrows knitted together a little, and genuine irritation clouded over Cameron's face when he snapped: "What?"

Jonathan didn't quit looking at him closely. "Do you like her?" he asked, very bluntly, very suddenly.

He felt his face get hot. "What do you mean, what are you- what do you mean?"

Jonathan started to smile. Just a little bit, but it was enough. "You like her." This time it was a statement. Cameron glowered at him, and he started to stifle a laugh. "You like the bookworm," he prodded. Cameron scowled, and Jonathan shoved at his shoulder, making it worse. "You like the student council president! You like the girl that told you to shut up at least five times a day when we first got here!"

"Stop it!" Cameron snapped, batting him off.

Jonathan's smile softened a little. He didn't pester him anymore.

Cameron looked back down at his phone, and turned it on again, simply to see her contact name looking back at him. Jonathan wasn't blind to the smile that was pulling on the edges of his lips. The softer look he got on his face. So he wasn't surprised at all when Cameron murmured: "...Maybe." Jonathan watched him in silence, as he kept staring at the name. Before he put his phone down and looked back up, but with a much more distracted gaze this time. He murmured softly, under his breath, almost like he was talking to himself: "Yeah...maybe I do. A little bit."

Jonathan stared at him for a few seconds. He glanced down at his injury, and something flashed in the back of his gaze. He leaned over to nudge his brother's shoulder with his own. Cameron roused and looked back at him, and Jonathan tried to give him another grin. But this one was much weaker. It was filled with a certain kind of anxiety. A worry that was going unspoken, but Cameron could hear loud and clear. "Be careful...Cam," Jonathan pleaded softly. "Just...be careful."

Cameron stared at him. Remembering quite a lot of things at once. Remembering when they were really little, and their father always used to lock him in the hallway closet for 'being too annoying.' How he used to scream and cry and bang on the door but there was no getting out. How Jonathan had sat outside the door all night talking to him, to let him know that he was okay and he wasn't alone. How he would end up sleeping there because he didn't want to leave him. How the two of them started to know when their dad would start drinking more, so they would find different hiding places at night and just fall asleep squeezed into some awkward position together.

How horrifying it had been to watch their father beat Jonathan to practically an inch of his life when they were in fifth grade...how he had spent every moment at his bedside, crying as he desperately watched his chest, just waiting for the moment it would stop moving. How when he'd woken up, the first thing Jonathan had asked him was whether or not he was okay, or if he got hurt too. How last week after their dad had twisted his arm, and Cameron had curled up into a ball biting down on the scream that was begging to get out, Jonathan had immediately flown to him and wrapped him up in a hug, reassuring him that they would get this fixed and it would be okay.

It was all there, in the silence and the looks between them.

He smiled, affection and gratitude alike burning his chest as he promised his brother: "I will."

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

"Do you want a pillow?" Kay asked out of the blue.

Cameron blinked, "A pillow?"

"For your arm." He looked down as if he was confused. The two of them were sitting on her couch, doing last-minute studying for their final in a couple of days. They'd only been at it for a while...but Kay was a little bit too aware of the fact that Cameron had been shifting and fidgeting practically ever since he'd sat down. He was still getting used to the feel of his arm, she was pretty sure. She couldn't imagine it could be very comfortable at all. "It might be better if you keep it elevated. It might make it less awkward."

Cameron looked a little embarrassed, glancing down at his cast. But he cracked a tiny smile. "Uh yeah. Sure. Thanks." She slipped that pillow that was behind her back out so she could hand it to him. It took him a second to mess with his arrangement of notebooks and novels, but eventually, he got it so that his arm and everything else was comfortably perched atop the bulky pillow. His smile got a little more content; he looked much more comfortable. Kay smiled too when she looked back down over the study guide. A few more minutes of comfortable silence went by before Cameron spoke up again. "So do you think she'll give us many questions about The Great Gatsby?"

Kay shrugged, "Seeing as it was a book we talked about for a good two weeks, I'd say so."

"Damnit."

She couldn't help but laugh a little. "What's wrong with The Great Gatsby?"

"It's just about some dude following the lives of some unlikable people who think that money is the most important thing in life!"

She tilted her head to the side, relenting to the fact. Before she decided to play devil's advocate. "Isn't money important though?"

"It is… but there are other things that are just as important."

Kay smiled at him as she continued to make her flash cards. "Like what?" she hummed.

"Well, food," he began

"Costs money," she immediately countered.

He tried to flash her a sharp look, but he was bad at hiding his smile. She giggled a little, and he got even worse at hiding it. Nonetheless, he tried another one. "A home."

"Cam, I hate to burst your bubble, but a home also does indeed cost money."

"Companionship," he countered, and this time he sounded very pleased with himself like he'd figured he'd finally gotten her.

Kay just smirked, "Depends on the companionship you're talking about."

"Really?" He squinted his eyes playfully as he flipped a page in his notebook. "Really?"

She chuckled. "Go on."

"Can money buy you friendship?" he stressed.

"Probably."

He eyed her before he drew out his biggest gun. "What about love? Actual...real love?"

Kay thought of trying to find a way around this one, but found she didn't quite have it in her. "Well, I guess you got me there," she relented. "I guess money can't buy actual love. You can have that one win." Cameron grinned, pretending to do a very dramatic, very awkward, bow, considering his broken arm and the fact that literally, everything he had brought with him was currently in a precarious balancing act on a pillow.

His just-as-dramatic 'Thank you, thank you,' was almost covered up by Kay giggles. She shook her head, in a way that clearly said 'What am I going to do with you?' He flashed her a cheeky smile. They held each other's gazes for a second, neither of them looking away or breaking their smiles. Before Kay cleared her throat and looked back down at her cards, first. Cameron was quick to follow. But both of their smiles lingered for a while.

Kay was just making her last couple of flash cards when Cameron suddenly announced out of the blue: "I missed this." she looked up, surprise and confusion alike on her face. He looked a little surprised himself like he hadn't meant to actually say that. But once he realized it was out, and once he realized Kay was staring at him, he shrugged, and elaborated. "I missed hanging out here. We did it all the time back when we had that dumb project. We haven't done it too much since then."

She cracked a sarcastic grin. "My house isn't that fun," she argued.

"I didn't mean being at your house," Cameron laughed. "I missed being with you."

This was said carelessly, and conversationally. He was merely correcting her for misunderstanding what he'd meant. But the second they left his mouth he realized what they actually sounded like, and what he'd actually let out instead. His eyes widened just a fraction. Kay stared at him, awkwardness and subtle surprise on her face. Cameron tried to amend it. "I just...it's nice to...it's nice to hang out again, it's…you keep me focused, is all I'm saying," he offered, hurriedly tucking back into his study materials. Suddenly much less smooth than he usually always was.

He fell silent and hoped she would do the same, and they could both just pretend he hadn't said something weird and out of place.

When she murmured back to him: "I missed being with you, too."

He blinked fast, looking back up at her. She offered him a smile, and this smile was a lot different than her other ones. It was much smaller...almost shyer. Looking at it now, he realized it was the same smile she'd had out by the pond that night, right before he had ruined the whole thing by leaving. It was the smile she had been wearing when they'd been less than a few inches away from each other. When they'd gotten close to...when they'd maybe almost…

Kay cleared her throat again and looked away. Her cheeks were a little red. Cameron felt like his own face was on fire. She refused to look back up at him. She wasn't even blinking, she was pretending to be so focused on her cards. Cameron found it harder to tear his gaze away. He found himself staring at her a little bit longer like he wanted to remember that smile because it was so different. Like he wanted to remember just a little bit longer what she had looked like that night because he regretted having to leave. He regretted not waiting just a minute more, so he could just close that tiny millimeter of space they had left.

Because he regretted leaving.

He regretted not being able to see that smile for longer.

He regretted not being able to see what would have happened if everything had been perfect.

(~**~) (~**~) (~**~) (~**~)

The final bell rang, and everyone was rushing out the door. They ran with the urgency that every last day brought with it. That sound not only meant that the school day was over, but today it almost meant that the semester was over. No more finals, no more homework, all that was left was winter break and Christmas and New Year's. There was no more school for nearly a month, so everyone was practically tripping over themselves to get out and get out fast. Kay wasn't one of those people...usually all the rush ended up causing at least a total of two accidents in the parking lot, so she was actually more inclined to just wait a while and not die.

She had caught Jonathan's eye on the way out of science. She'd felt a little awkward. As good of friends as she was with Cameron, she hadn't talked to Jonathan nearly as much. They'd probably held about a handful of conversations, and especially now that she knew the secret they'd kept for so long, she wasn't sure where that left them. Jonathan was certainly not making an effort to talk to her more. At least yet. So when she first caught his eye, she felt a tiny jolt of nervousness. But he'd just offered her a small smile and a wave. He didn't offer anything else, and the smile was mostly polite. But it was something, and for some reason, it made her happy, as she watched him go.

She went to her locker. She would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't keeping an eye out for Cameron. Usually he was by her locker after school. They walked out to the parking lot together. But he wasn't there. She frowned a little, but got her things anyway. The last thing she needed to do was get her instrument from the band room. From there, she wasn't sure...she'd probably just go to the library for a while until most of the students cleared out. When she shut her locker, she lingered for a couple more seconds, waiting to see whether or not he was just running late. But eventually she just told herself she could text him, later. She didn't want to come off as clingy or anything. She didn't care that much. Not at all.

She weaved her way through the halls and down the stairs. She was going against the stream, so it took her a while. By the time she got down to the band room it was pretty empty. There were only a couple people coming through to pick up their instrument on their way out. Kay moved through them all and headed for the far closet, where the woodwinds kept their cases. She grabbed the handle and started to pull. But the very instant she got the door even an inch open, something was suddenly flinging out of it. She only had time to give a startled squeak before someone grabbed her arm and yanked her in. The door was shut behind her.

It was hard to see once the door closed, but it was even harder to just stand in general. The closet was really only wide enough for the shelves that held the instrument cases. There was about maybe a foot left to stand, or just a little bit less than that. Her shoulder was brushing awkwardly against the door when she turned to look at who the heck had yanked her in here. She should have been smarter by now, to know exactly who it was. So the surprise was a little dry when she turned and found herself looking at Cameron.

In here, they were forced to stand pretty close together. She started to snap: "What in the world-!?"

"Shhh!" Cameron hissed, very urgently. He turned and nudged the door open just a crack, so he could peek outside. She looked at him oddly. He turned back to her. "Be quiet!" he whispered. Her expression must have given away the fact she thought he was stupid, because he was defending himself. "I rigged Mike's case to explode with confetti the second he opens it," he explained. She was pretty sure that if she was having difficulty hiding the fact she thought he was stupid before, now the hope was out the window. "He said he was going to ask Messerli for help on this audition piece before he left." It was dark, but Kay could see that his eyes were gleaming. They were bright enough anyway. "The second he opens it to play...bam. Tons of confetti."

Kay stared at him.

He stared right back.

After a couple seconds all she got out was: "Why?"

Now it was his turn to look at her like she was stupid. "Because," he elaborated. She was still waiting for something a bit more substantial, so he did the best he could. But his best was still pretty weak. "Why would I not do it? If you had the option to make confetti explode all over someone, wouldn't you?" She raised an eyebrow at him. He shook his head, peeking outside again. "You need to figure out your priorities," he whispered, almost to himself.

Her eyes went from him, to the door. "So you're just waiting in here until he comes?" she whispered.

"Well, I have to see the results, otherwise the effort wasn't worth it," he insisted.

She nodded, pretending this was a perfectly rational situation.

He sighed and leaned back. Turning to her again they just stared at each other for a couple long seconds. The silence was tense, and it wasn't helped by their forced proximity. Eventually, Cameron asked very nonchalantly: "So how was your day?"

She laughed. He grinned at her giggle. "Well, it certainly hasn't been interesting, until now."

"That's what I'm here for," Cameron chirped quietly. "To add pizzazz to your life; you're welcome."

"Thanks," she scoffed. He looked outside again. She cracked an even bigger smile. "I wondered why you weren't at my locker...but I admit, hiding in the band closet to wait for Mike to open his case and be rained on by confetti wasn't the answer I would have come up with."

He perked, turning back to her. "You were looking for me at your locker?" he grinned.

She was glad it was so dark; she was sure her face turned bright red. "Of course not," she snapped. He smiled wider. "I mean- you're just...usually there, it was weird not to-"

"You missed me." He sounded awfully smug.

"I didn't miss you," she rejected, almost before he was even done saying it.

Cameron snickered. "You did, but that's okay, we don't have to linger on such things, Kansas." He patted her shoulder when he said this, and she got about ten times as red. She tried to shoot him a glare, but he was looking outside again. "Mike is taking forever to get down here," he grumbled.

"I'm gonna leave," Kay announced.

He was turning back again. "You are not gonna leave; you're gonna stay because you can't give away my hiding spot." He paused before he added: "And because I was getting lonely and wanted company so now that you're here you can't leave. You signed a contract when you got in here with me, whether you knew it or not. Now you can't break it. It's binding."

She wished she could be irritated, but she just stifled another laugh. He glanced outside again, and when he did, she looked down at his arm. Her expression wilted and softened at the same time. She was quiet for a couple seconds, just watching him. Before she said very suddenly, and very quietly: "I'm glad you're okay again." He perked, looking at her with a little bit of surprise. She felt hot again when she rushed to explain. "Before, when you...before you told me. You were a lot quieter. You seemed sad." He deflated a little, but she smiled at him. "You've been more like yourself, recently. It's a relief. I mean…" She gestured around them, making her voice lighter. "You're hiding in closets and making confetti explode at people; if that's not the old you, I don't know what is."

He smiled. His expression was a bit softer, too. "Yeah...I was just...real in my head. I think. I do that a lot." He hesitated before he added: "I feel a lot better...now that you...know. Even if it's…" He grimaced a little. He shook his head to clear it. "It feels less lonely." She smiled. A sadder kind of smile this time, but it was there anyway. "I didn't want to shut you out, either. You're probably one of my best friends here. And I haven't made a best friend in a long time." Her chest pulled at the sentiment. She didn't say anything at first, and his smile turned much awkwarder. "Is that a totally sad thing to announce here in the band room woodwind closet?"

She giggled. Shook her head. "No," she murmured. "'Cause you're probably mine, too."

He beamed. Somehow he had the ability to make the space seem much less dark.

The both of them were quiet for a couple moments, just smiling at each other. Before Kay cleared her throat and ducked her head a little. "Will we..."She fiddled with her hands. She was nervous. Which was weird. She had never really felt nervous like this before. She tried to push it down, telling herself it was ridiculous for her to be nervous for asking a simple question. "Do you want to hang out during winter break?" It wasn't like they didn't hang out outside of school now. It wasn't an odd thing. But for some reason, her stomach was twisting. Again, she thanks her lucky stars it was dark in here.

Cameron's grin only grew wider. "Are you kidding?" Kay couldn't help but crack a smile at his reaction. A tiny bit of her nerves started to calm down. "Of course! I can't go a whole month without hanging out with Kansas. I'd go through withdrawals; I'd be a nightmare." Her smile grew; she giggled a little bit again. He lit up even more when she did. "We've got a whole month all to ourselves; we can hang out every day, all the time. Twenty-four-seven, just living it up."

She laughed, and he kept going. "In fact, I'm still new here and I've heard there's a good skating rink somewhere, and I find it horribly rude that as someone who lives here permanently, you have yet to actually show me around." She snorted and he fixed her with a mockingly-stern look. "I'll consider forgiving you if you take me out on the town. But only then. And even then, forgiveness might not come cheap."

"I see. How awful of me," she laughed. "I'll be sure to fix that."

"Twenty-four-seven," he reminded her, smirking. "Partying hard."

She giggled again. "Not twenty-four-seven," she whispered.

"Why not?"

She was a little surprised. She laughed again. "That's way too much."

"I'm offended," he gasped. "That you do not wanna spend every waking moment you have with me."

"I didn't mean it like that," she objected. "I meant for you."

He just got more confused. "What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes. "You'd get real sick of me real fast," she promised.

"That's not true!" he said immediately. "I wouldn't get sick of you!"

She looked at him with clear doubt. A silent 'C'mon' to get him to stop lying.

But he softened, and there was genuine affection and earnesty in his voice when he murmured: "I could never get sick of you."

She was too floored by the sudden announcement to actually say anything. She didn't know what to say in response...so she just ended up staring at him stupidly. His smile turned a little awkward, and a little nervous, but he didn't take it back. He searched her face, looking thoughtful. He hesitated before he tacked on in nothing more than a whisper: "I wouldn't mind twenty-four-seven…"

The faintest smile began to crawl over her face. Her chest was growing warmer and warmer.

Suddenly she was acutely aware of just how close they'd been this entire time. They were squeezed in together, and because of that, they were nearly chest-to-chest. Her face was getting hotter, too. She didn't even think. All of a sudden she was just replying, the words coming out of the blue. She was speaking so softly, it was hardly audible. "I wouldn't mind it either…"

He smiled again, and it was that full-on, goofy...adorable smile she'd come to know from him. The one she'd missed, and the one she was so relieved to have back. It was contagious- she started to smile, too. For a moment, they just grinned at each other. Kay's smile was the first to leave. To be chased away instead by a sudden strong sense of something close to apprehension. Cameron's was following. His smile faded; he looked thoughtful, instead. She missed his smile. Even though it was just there, she missed it and wanted it back. She always wanted to see it.

She remembered the night of the winter formal, right before Jonathan had called Cameron and broke the moment. She remembered how they had both leaned closer and closer. How he'd reached up to hold her face. How close they had been. They were already that close. Reluctantly, without even really thinking, she started to lean even closer. Cameron didn't move at first; he just searched her face again, like he was making sure. Before he started to lean closer as well, moving just as painfully slow.

He was just the tiniest bit taller than her. She had to stretch up, and he had to bend down just a little. She smiled when she felt his hand again, against her cheek. She took a step closer and now there was no distance at all between the two of them. She reached up to put her hand against his neck and she felt how fast his heart was racing. They were less than a millimeter apart, yet there was one final hesitation. One more burst of nervousness that got them to stop. But Kay remembered the way they had been stopped before, and the disappointment that had yawned in her chest afterwards. She didn't want that again. So she stomped down her worry and her anxiety. And she closed the tiny space that was left.

Their lips met and the instant they did, her stomach was doing flips. She felt butterflies. The stupid, awful cliche that was always used and she had never quite believed was an actual thing, and yet now there was no denying it. They started, and they only got worse. At first, they just kissed once. A slow, lingering one that seemed to last forever. They both pulled back afterwards. But neither of them wanted it to end. They only pulled away long enough to breathe, before they were coming back to the other. Cameron delved his hand back through her hair, and urged her a little closer so he could kiss her deeper. The butterflies in her stomach only got worse.

But it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Kay moved to put her arms around his shoulders. As he kissed her again...and again a third time, her hands went up to draw through his hair, too. If they were both thinking, they would have considered the fact that there was a very high chance of someone opening the door to get their instrument. Which would definitely lead to a very awkward situation. But neither of them cared. Neither of them were thinking about that. Kay, usually always thinking ahead, wasn't even taking that into consideration.

All she was thinking of was the fact she was so close to him, and he was kissing her. All she could think of were the days they spent laughing and joking when before, she hadn't really spent it with anyone. Of how pained and worried she was about him, now...but also how relieved she was that he was okay. That for right now, it didn't matter, and everything was perfect. How she never wanted to stop kissing him, and about how he must feel the same way, because he never pulled back.