Chapter 21

He heard a voice from inside.

"Tommy, guess who that is!"

There was the sound of pounding feet and then the door opened.

"DADDY!" Tommy shouted and jumped up.

Tim grabbed him and swung him around in the air and then hugged him tightly.

"Hey, Tommy. Did you have a good time with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"We saw a rock and had ice cream and got on an old boat and played in the water and ate weird stuff and played on the beach and..."

Tim just laughed as Tommy proceeded to list off every single thing he'd done with equal enthusiasm for each moment.

"Tommy, take a breath," Tony said as he joined them.

"Tony!" Tommy said and jumped out of Tim's arms and hugged Tony around the knees.

Tony lifted him up and then tossed him higher in the air, Tommy squealing with delight. Tony caught him and grunted a little.

"Man, I won't be able to do that for much longer. You're getting too big, Tommy."

Tim laughed. "I could have warned you."

"But you didn't."

"I thought you could see for yourself."

"Tim, Tony, come on inside," Virginia said. "No reason to let the flies in with the door standing open."

"Sure thing," Tim said.

Tommy grabbed both of them by the hands and started pulling on them to come into the house.

"Come inside!" he said.

Tim paused and looked at Tony, silently asking if he was okay. Tony smiled and nodded.

Then, they both went into the house. Tim pulled out a t-shirt from the Jordan Pond gift shop.

"Here, Tommy."

"For me?" Tommy asked, delighted.

"Yep."

"Yea!"

He grabbed it and and took off the shirt he was wearing to put it on. It had a big red lobster on it.

"Thank you, Daddy!" he said.

"So, how was Acadia?" Virginia asked.

"It was great," Tony said, jumping in as Tommy started hanging on Tim, wanting to show him some of the things he'd made while they'd been gone. Tim was glad, but he also noticed that Tony was acting as he usually did. He didn't blame him for that. Delilah's parents were great, but still, that would be a little more personal information that Tony would likely feel comfortable with.

"Lots of people?" Michael asked.

"Oh, yeah. If you guys decide to go, you might want to go on the off season."

"Good to know. What did you see?" Virginia asked.

"Typical stuff. Thunder Hole and lots of overlooks, lighthouses. Tim had lobster for the first time."

"Oh, Tim, you'd never had lobster before? We could have remedied that. There are some good lobster places around here."

Tim smiled. "It's fine. According to Tony, no other lobster will match up to Maine lobster."

Michael chuckled. "Well, that might be true, but there's no reason we couldn't have let you try some earlier."

"It's not a big deal. Tony had to teach me how to eat a whole lobster. It's a violent process considering how refined it's supposed to be. I felt like some uncouth barbarian, ripping apart my meal. I'm surprised Tony didn't want to start gnawing meat right off the bone."

"Oh, come on," Tony said, laughing. "Besides, lobsters don't have bones."

"Oh, maybe licking out the shells then?"

Tony stuck out his tongue which made Tommy giggle.

"What else did you see?" Virginia asked.

"We saw whales," Tony said.

That caught Tommy's attention.

"What's a whale?" he asked.

"It's like a shark, only it doesn't have gills like sharks have."

"What are gills?" Tommy asked.

"Gills are little slits on the sides of fish that let them breathe underwater."

Tommy considered that.

"Whales aren't fish?"

"Nope. They're actually mammals like you and me."

"We don't have fins, Daddy!" Tommy said.

"Yeah, Dad, we don't have fins," Tony said, grinning. "What's with that?"

"There are lots of different kinds of mammals, Tommy," Tim said, ignoring Tony. "And we all need to breathe air, not water. So whales have to come up to breathe, but they can hold their breath a lot longer than we can."

"Are there other mammals that live in the water?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah. Do you remember the dolphins at the aquarium?"

Tommy nodded.

"They're mammals. So are seals and otters."

"Wow. I want to live in the water, Daddy! I can hold my breath!"

Tim laughed.

"No, Tommy, you can't. You need to have fins."

"Otters don't have fins," Tony said.

"Tony, you're not helping," Tim said.

"That's not my job. I'm the annoying, beloved uncle."

Both Virginia and Michael were just laughing.

"Tommy, remember how cold you got when we stayed the water for a long time?"

Tommy nodded.

"That's another reason you can't live in the water. You don't have enough insulation."

"What's insulation?"

"It's what keeps you warm. Whales and dolphins and seals have special insulation in their bodies that keeps them from getting cold in the water."

"Wow."

Tommy then decided he was done with that topic and he started showing Tim more of his pictures. Tim looked at them while listening to the conversation.

"We saw a few lighthouses, too. We also went to Jordan Pond."

"Oh, I remember that place," Michael said. "Their popovers are amazing."

"We didn't eat anything there, but we did get souvenirs. Show them what you got them, Tim," Tony said.

"Oh, yeah. I left it in the car. Just a sec."

Tim made Tommy stay in and he ran out to the car to grab the maple syrup and the wooden ornament. Then, he came back in.

"Tony said I had to get something from Maine," Tim said. "So here's some maple syrup. And they had a display of some really neat Christmas ornaments."

He held them out. Virginia took them both.

"The ornament is beautiful, Tim. I'll be happy to add it to our tree this year. And I wish we'd had the maple syrup this morning with our pancakes. I guess we'll just have to have pancakes tomorrow morning," she said.

"Or waffles tonight," Michael suggested.

"Maybe."

They stayed for about an hour, talking and letting Tommy talk. Then, it was time to pack up all Tommy's things and clean up the room he'd slept in so that they could get on their way.

Virginia hugged Tim before they left.

"Thanks for letting us have Tommy for a couple of days. I know you were nervous about it."

"No, I wasn't!" Tim protested.

"Tommy's your oldest and it's the first time you've done it," Virginia said. "Of course you were. By the time the girls are old enough, you'll be thrilled to have us take them. And your parents, too, of course."

Tim smiled and reddened slightly.

"Now, don't forget to call Delilah before you leave," Virginia said. "She'll think that you're intentionally avoiding her."

Tim laughed. "I'll remember this time."

"Good."

Once they got Tommy's stuff in the car, Tim sat down with Tommy on the couch so they could call Delilah and tell her. At the same time, Tony called Jo to let her know the basic schedule. They wouldn't get down to Monticello today, but they would in the morning tomorrow. The trip was almost over.

"Hey, Delilah," Tim said as soon as she answered.

"Mommy!" Tommy said.

"Hey, you two. I take it you're at my parents' place?"

"Yep. We're just about to roll out. We'll go a ways today and then we'll get to Monticello tomorrow morning. Tommy and I will be home by the evening," Tim said quickly before Tommy launched into his enthusiastic discussion of what he'd done.

"Mommy, I slept in your room! And we saw the ocean and we ate lots of food. I had ice cream again last night! And we..."

Delilah smiled at Tim as Tommy continued to talk. Every so often she'd insert an approving word but she barely had time to do more than that. Tim looked up at Tony who was grinning, too.

"Yeah, we'll be at Monticello tomorrow. How's Grace doing?" Tony asked. He paused. "Good. Yeah, sure." Another pause. "Hey, Grace."

Tim smiled and then refocused as Tommy was winding down.

"Sounds like a very successful trip. You'll tell me everything tomorrow, then?" Delilah asked more significantly.

"Yeah," Tim said.

"Good. Drive safely and have fun on your last full day."

"We will. I can't even pronounce the next place we're going."

"Oh really? Now, I'm intrigued."

"You'll see. Love you."

"Love you lots, Mommy!" Tommy said.

"I love you both. Bye."

They hung up and then Tim looked at Tony.

"Yeah, she sounds pretty good. I'm glad Daniel's been helping out," Tony said. "Okay. We're heading out. See you tomorrow. Bye."

He hung up.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"I'm ready," Tim said. "You ready, Tommy?"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Go and give your Grandma and Grandpa a hug and a kiss good-bye."

Tommy ran off to do just that. Then, he ran back and pulled on Tony and Tim, wanting to get going. They both laughed and waved to Virginia and Michael as they left. They got into the car, with Tony driving.

"Okay, Tim. Where are we going?"

"Get on I-90, going west," Tim said.

"That's not telling me where we're going."

"I still can't pronounce it."

"Where are you taking us?" Tony asked, suspiciously.

Tim grinned. "Just trust me, Tony. You'll like it."

Tony raised an eyebrow but then, he nodded.

"Okay. Remember that your son is here, too."

"Yep. I figure he'll like it, too. Are you ready for a surprise, Tommy?" Tim asked, looking back.

Tommy raised his arms in the air. "Yes! I love surprises, Daddy!"

"See? Tommy's feeling adventurous," Tim said. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm going, I'm going!"

They got on the road and, with Tommy's almost nonstop questions, they made good time. At least, Tim knew they made good time. Tony still had no idea where they were going. Tim wasn't sure why he wanted to come to this place so much. It was really just for the sake of the picture he'd thought of that they could take, but it was utterly silly. Completely and totally.

Finally, they were getting close. He started watching for the place to stop. Then, he saw it.

The sign.

"Pull over right here, Tony."

"Right where?"

"Right by that sign. This is it."

Tony looked at the sign and then he looked at Tim almost incredulously.

"This is why we're here?"

"Yep."

Tim grinned as he looked at the sign again. Webster, Massachusetts. Otherwise known as Lake Char-gogg-a-gogg-man-chaugg-a-gogg-chau-bun-a-gung-a-maugg.

"I can see why you couldn't tell me where we were headed, but what's so special about this...besides the name?" Tony asked.

"That's it. Just the name. Supposedly, it's the longest place name in the United States, and the name is totally made up. It's an expanded version of a possibly real Native American name, but they decided to adopt it as the real name. It's just for tourism. And I want a picture here. In fact..." Tim turned around in his seat. "Tommy, do you want to see if you're as long as this name on the sign is?"

"Yes!" Tommy said, without hesitation.

"Lake Char-gogg-a-gogg-man-chaugg-a-gogg-chau-bun-a-gung-a-maugg," Tony read, very slowly. "So you planned on having us stop here so you can see how your son measures up to the name?"

Tim grinned. "Yes. Let's go!"

They got out of the car and walked over to the sign. Then, Tim leaned over and picked up Tommy and held him over his head. Tim smiled when Tony got out his camera so that he could take a picture.

"Stiff as a board, Tommy," Tim said.

"Okay."

Tim felt Tommy stretch himself out, his arms and feet stretched as wide as possible.

"Do you have it, Tony?" Tim asked, feeling his arms shaking.

"Got it. How much longer are you going to hold him up there?"

Tim let Tommy down and let out a loud exhale.

"Whew. You're getting too big, Tommy."

"Am I bigger than the name?" Tommy asked. "Am I? Let me see, Tony!"

Tim raised an eyebrow at him.

"Please," Tommy added quickly.

Tony smiled and walked over. They all crowded around to look at the picture. At three and a half feet, Tommy wasn't anywhere close to as long as the name, but the picture was good.

"You'll have to keep growing, Tommy," Tony said.

"But I don't think I'll be able to lift you up when you are bigger than the sign."

"Daddy, lift Tony up!" Tommy said.

Tim laughed. "No, Tommy. I can't do that. No way."

"Are you saying I'm fat, Tim?" Tony asked.

"No. I'm saying I'm not even close to strong enough to do that. Tommy, you're only about 45 pounds and I couldn't hold you up for very long. Tony is a lot bigger and heavier than you are."

"Okay."

Tim thought that was really the end of it. He should have known better.

Suddenly, Tommy got that gleam in his eye that said he'd thought of something.

"Tony, you lift Daddy!"

Tony grinned. "Do you think you can take a picture really fast while I do it?"

"What? No way, Tony!" Tim said. "No way are you lifting me up like that. It's not happening."

"Now, Dad, you can't disappoint Tommy."

"I can take the picture!" Tommy said.

Tony leaned over and handed his camera to Tommy and showed him where to stand and what button to push. Tim was standing there, unsure if he should start running or if Tony was really just kidding. He had to be kidding. Tim knew that he was far from overweight at this point, but he was still plenty heavy and Tony wasn't a weightlifter.

"Tony, you're not lifting me over your head."

"You think?"

"Tony! No!"

Tony cracked his knuckles and began swinging his arms forward and backward. Tim took a couple of steps back.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Stiff as a board, McGee," Tony said. "Don't mess it up. This is my chance to channel my inner Superman."

"Superman doesn't exist! We already had that conversation!"

"The world record for overhead lifts is over 6,000 pounds. You're probably barely 200. I think I've got this."

"You're going to kill both of us."

"No, I'm not. At worst, I foresee pulled muscles and some minor bruising."

"I'd rather not." Tim tried to walk away, but Tony grabbed him by the arm.

"Tommy, tell your dad to stand still and let me lift him up."

"Daddy, stand still and let Tony lift you up! I have the camera!"

Tim looked at Tony. He looked completely serious.

"You're not doing this."

"Yes, I am," Tony said. "Just stop putting it off and let me lift you over my head before someone else comes by and gets the wrong idea."

"The wrong idea? What's the right idea?"

"That we're two goofy guys risking minor injury for a photograph. Stiff as a board, McGee. No flopping around."

Before he knew it, Tim was being hauled off the safe and secure ground and laid across Tony's shoulders. Tommy was laughing his head off and taking pictures.

"One, two, three," Tony said. "Don't you dare start wiggling."

Then, Tim tried to stay stiff as Tony actually lifted him above his head.

For about five seconds.

Then, he lost his grip and Tim felt himself starting to fall. He was no longer stiff as a board and he flopped over onto Tony's head and shoulders, causing Tony to lose his balance and they tumbled to a heap on the ground.

But Tim was gratified to note that he was still on top.

Tommy ran over.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" he asked.

Tim got off of Tony and groaned a little. Definite bruising was in his future.

"I'm okay. Tony?"

Tony got up and was in a bit worse shape. He'd scraped his hands and ripped a hole in his pants when he fell, and there was definitely blood.

"Ow."

"It was your idea," Tim said.

"Nope. It was your son's idea. I just went along with it."

"My son isn't even six years old yet."

"No excuse. Okay, Tommy. Let's see if you got the picture before I work on stopping the bleeding."

Tony didn't stand up, but Tommy was closer to that height anyway and so he just held out the camera. Tim leaned over to see as well.

"Daddy, you're longer than the name!" Tommy said excitedly.

"Well, with the name in a half-circle, I am. But we're not going to try anything else."

"No complaints from me," Tony said. "I can't believe you fell on me."

"I had farther to fall. No way was I going to let myself fall all the way to the ground from over your head."

Tony just grimaced and let Tim help him up. Then, he limped over to the car and they got out the first aid kit and patched up Tony's wounds. Tim had no blood to take care of, but he knew he'd have bruises. After all that adventure, they looked at the other pictures Tommy had taken. It looked like he had just held the button down and they had picture after picture of Tony lifting Tim up, holding Tim over his head and then the two of them collapsing onto the ground. It would be hilarious. ...later, when their wounds had healed.

"Well? Ready to look at the lake and then get on our way?" Tim asked.

"Sure."

They didn't spend too much time at the lake, but they figured they should take some pictures of more than just a sign. Then, they stopped at a place for lunch and continued on their way south.