5 - Connection

The second and longest day of the flower show had come to an end.

The guests were politely but firmly sent away to get a life by official security staff. The presenters all put down their fake smiles, massaged their feet, and/or dashed for bathrooms. Sweepers came in, grumbling about flower petals and - in one particular display area - poodle-monkey droppings. The hired poets stationed at desks throughout the tent stretched their writing hands, piled up the papers of poetry inspired by all the flowers, and tried to get their brains to stop coming up the with synonyms for 'blossom.'

Mai and Auntie tidied up their arrangements and then headed with the other presenters to the Special Guest pavilion. The closing ceremony was much like the one held yesterday, with Lady Zuzka leading all of the presenters in a dedication to the Spirit of the Sun that concluded with everyone knocking back a ceremonial glass of fine Cassia wine. And then they mixed things up a little by having Lady Yuying announce that Aunt Mura was officially the Best in Show.

Huh. Mai had to admit Pangfua's prediction was right. She was half-expecting it to be a tease or manipulation or something. Somehow, despite Ty Lee's existence, Mai kept forgetting that not every cute Fire Nation girl was Azula.

Auntie actually burst into happy tears, and although Mai didn't usually like risking contact with other people's bodily moisture, she went ahead and gave a congratulatory hug. "You earned it."

Aunt Mura sniffed and squeezed her back. "Thank you for all your help. I know this isn't really your passion, but you've done so much to make it possible. I couldn't ask for a better apprentice."

Everyone cheered, and Mai heard Pangfua's exuberant squeals rising above the rest of the crowd.

"You have our congratulations," Lady Zuzka said once the cheers died down. "Tomorrow my granddaughter will be officially presented into Fire Nation society, and I ask of you to design and make a dress for her that embodies the spirit of the Great Fire Flower Show." Everyone cheered again, and Zuzka added, "I look forward to seeing everyone's final presentations tomorrow. Let's close out my show with the same vision and diligence you have brought thus far. For now, good night, and (peaceful) glory to the Fire Nation!"

And that was that.

Lady Yuying came over to Aunt Mura to discuss the specifics of the dress-making (apparently, a team of tailors would be on hand for the actual construction, and Auntie was just expected to provide a general design and stick some flowers on the thing), giving everyone else a chance to make their. Then it was finally time for Mai and Aunt Mura to go home, too, and they headed to the rear of the big tent. There was an opening being used as a service entrance, with only a few of the staff around still taking care of their after-hours duties-

-and that's where she bumped into a woman in a hooded cloak who squeaked in Suki's voice.

Mai stopped.

She angled to peek under the hood.

Suki, face fully painted as a Kyoshi Warrior, gave her a rueful grin. "Hi."

And then a second figure in a cloak pulled back his hood just enough for Mai to identify Zuko. He smiled, and then immediately forced himself into his Serious Fire Lord Expression. "Mai, what a surprise to meet you here. I was trying to avoid the crowds, and-"

"Zuko," Mai interrupted, "you set an ambush and ordered Suki to bump into me, and you know it. That's a horrible abuse of your bodyguard."

Suki snorted as she slipped back behind Zuko.

He didn't look at all chagrined. In fact, the smile returned to his face. "Pangfua said that you two bonded and became life-long girlfriends today. I wanted to check to make sure you survived."

Now Mai found herself smiling. She held up a painted forearm, the swirls of cherry blossom petals tracing a path up to her elbow. "This better wash off, or your cutesy second-cousin is going to be in trouble."

"If not, we could-" He paused as his sense of wit caught up with his mouth. "-paint over it? It would take a lot of white with a touch of honey, but I can get the Royal Fire Portrait Guy to give it a try."

"Royal Fire Portrait Guy?" Mai raised her eyebrows. "That's a thing?"

"Probably. I seem to have a Royal Fire everything. Sometimes I'm scared of discovering what the next one will be in charge of."

Mai laughed, and Zuko beamed, and she realized she was flirting with her ex-boyfriend. Not to mention how familiar she was being. Ugh, this was what happened when she had to deal with people all day. It was more exhausting than chasing a sky bison across the Earth Kingdom countryside for a night and a day. Literally.

She took her amusement, shanked it in the kidneys, and left the body to rot in a back alley in her mind somewhere. "Well, it has been an honor to receive the Fire Lord's attention once again, but I must off. Auntie needs to figure out what your cousin will be wearing tomorrow-"

"Which I can do more easily without my bothersome apprentice getting underfoot," Aunt Mura put in. "You can help with the construction, but the design needs a master's touch."

Mai folded her arms over her chest and glared at her Auntie. "Really?"

"Of course."

"It's just that Zuko seems to be about to ask me out to dinner or something, despite last night making it clear that my missing him doesn't mean I want to get back together. You know my feelings on that matter, too, but you tricked me to going to the Love Festival with him, and now you're practically shoving me into his arms. Are you going to rip my clothes off for him next?"

Zuko blushed and said, "Uh-"

Aunt Mura put her hands on her hips. "And if you don't actually want to go with Zuko, you're more than capable of making that clear. But it seems to me that you're looking for excuses, so as a dutiful aunt I am providing them."

Zuko tried, "I think-"

Mai snorted. "Obviously, I'm very conflicted about my feelings for Zuko. Shouldn't you, as my supportive elder, be protecting me from myself?"

Zuko mumbled, "That's not-"

Aunt Mura barked a laugh. "Niece, I might not be married, but I earned this gray hair the fun way. Letting you stumble into situations where your heart might get broken is protecting you from yourself. And if you get hurt, I'll help you pick up the pieces, hold you while you cry, and make sure that this boy pays with blood for whatever he hasn't done to you yet."

Suki raised a hand. "As his bodyguard, I want to clarify that I didn't hear that last part."

Zuko shoved her hand down. "But I didn't-"

Mai groaned and spun to face him. "Apparently, we need to settle this once and for all. So I believe you were going to ask me out?"

Zuko blinked at her. Twice. Three times. "Yes?"

"Great, let's go get my heart broken before it gets too late." She grabbed Zuko's hand and pulled him along.

Suki trotted after them, and Aunt Mura waved with a bit too much smugness.

"I thought this would be nice," Zuko said as they stepped into the little dining room. He had (once he convinced Mai to stop dragging him) led the way to a little eatery in Lower Harbor City far away from the Love Festival. He must have made arrangements ahead of time, because the proprietor received them with a bow, complete silence, and a motion to a little room off from the main dining area already stocked with a spread of foods.

Mai let herself be impressed. The walls were covered in thick drapes of rich brown, creating a sense of both coziness and quiet. The only light came from candles, but a slat-shuttered window let in cool fresh air while hiding them from the outside world. "Nice is a word for it. This is a relief after two days of crowds and every color under the sun."

"I thought about something fancier, but then I realized how keyed-up you must be feeling. You need a chance to let all that energy drain away."

Mai didn't reply. Zuko didn't need to be told that he knew her well. That was the whole of the problem, actually.

Suki filled in the silence with, "I'll be just on the other side of this door. Call me if anyone gets past Ty Lee and breaks in through the window."

And then Mai was alone with Zuko. She gave him an evaluating look, which in her case picked up both a sense of eagerness and every spot on his body where she could draw blood with a needle. "And here I really thought, last night, that you'd be giving up."

He looked at her with a quizzical expression. "When have I ever given up?"

Hm. Fair point. "You've never let pain stop you, have you?" She sighed as she kneeled at the wide table where all the food was laid out. "But I'm not the same way, Zuko."

He kneeled opposite her and nabbed some samples from the various plates. "I don't think I believe that. You were friends with Azula. You stayed who you are despite your family trying to make you someone else." He looked up at her, half of his gaze sad, and the other scarred. "And you've stayed apart from me all this time. You admitted that it hurts."

This was why she thought of Zuko as a moron. It was so much easier than trying to deal with how clever he really was.

Instead of replying, Mai got herself from food. She functioned better when she was nourished, from having steadier hands to being able to think quicker. And it was really good food- all the heavier, spicy stuff she liked best, with plenty of dessert waiting in the wings.

And in that indulgence, she found a way to throw up another barrier between her and the man she still loved. "I was surprised to see that Pangfua likes fried garbage even more than I do."

"Really?" Zuko shook his head. "I don't know how she could have discovered it. Cousin Yuying keeps a close eye on her, and that's a family very conscious of its standing. It reminds me a bit of your mother, except Pangfua seems to be fine fitting into it."

"Mother has- well, she's improved. She even works at the flower shop, when she visits. Doing actual labor, can you imagine?"

And just like, Mai left herself vulnerable to a viscous attack.

Zuko leaned forward. "She would probably like to see her daughter leave behind a life of labor."

Mai, though, was a world class warrior, and when fighting with knives, knowing how to parry was a must. "I expect I'll always need some kind of vocation. Life would be boring, otherwise. Cutting and arranging flowers is as good as any."

"But-" Zuko moved one of the deserts, a fruit tart with no flower petals on it whatsoever, over to Mai's side of the table. "Something that better uses your skills and intellect would be more interesting, don't you think? Something on a leadership level, in an important place."

She pushed the fruit tart aside and took a little square of cake. "How much intellect could I have? I threw away a chance to become the Royal Consort, didn't I?"

Zuko, amazingly, smiled at her. "You couldn't have thrown it away. The chance isn't gone yet, is it?"

Mai had to smile as her heart skipped a beat. Being warrior, she was mainly concerned with practicality, and Zuko had just scored a hit against her. That was bad. But she was enough of an artist in battle to appreciate a skillful attack.

And she was also the kind of warrior who smiled before delivering a killing blow. "But I did walk away, didn't I?" She popped her cake into her mouth.

Zuko slid the tart back to his own side of the table, but he didn't touch it. "You did. And you were right. I- I lied by omission. People who love each other shouldn't lie, or hide things like- like how many assassins were getting into the palace. Or that I left the country to deal with the situation in the colonies. Or- or-"

Mai leaned forward. "Or that you went to Ozai, in prison, for advice on how to handle it."

Zuko swallowed and nodded.

She sat back. "And now you say you'll never do it again."

Zuko stood up. "I won't! I promise! I've learned my lesson. I'll never go to my father again, and I'll tell you everything that's going on! No more secrets! I'll even marry you, if you want?"

What?

What?!

No longer hungry, Mai stood up to face him directly. "Really?"

He stared at her, waiting.

She held out a hand, the cherry petals painted on her arm shining pink in the candlelight.

Zuko put his hand in hers.

Mai said, "We'd be one. No secrets between us, everything laid bare. Everything exposed, both beautiful-" She stepped in so that she was leaning against his unscarred side, so that he could feel her heart hammering in the chest, and whispered into his ear, "-and ugly."

Zuko turned his head so that he was looking at her with wide eyes. He whispered back, "Everything."

"Oh, Zuko." She leaned further, pressing against him until their lips came together, and kissed him. Hunger filled her, but not for any kind of food. This was an older need, a more painful need. Her lips felt like they belonged in contact with his, a fit more natural than any other. She made it last as long as she could, until the tears welling in her eyes threatened to spill out onto both of their faces, and then pulled away. "You still can't admit you went to your father without telling me."

He blinked. "But- but I just did!"

"No. You couldn't speak the words. I had to."

His jaw dropped.

He knew she was right.

Mai let go of him, maybe for the last time. "I didn't want to hurt you this much, but I guess I can't get out of it. This has never been about the secrets and lies."

His answer was almost a wail: "I don't understand!"

It might have even been true.

She hugged herself, trying to hide her bare, painted arms within her outer tunic. "Did you ever stop to think about why you lied to me?"

He shrugged. "I- I wanted to protect you."

"I thought I didn't need protection? That's what you said that the Boiling Rock."

He blinked. "Well, yes, I said that, but- you- I-"

"Protecting me is the lie you told yourself. To avoid acknowledging that you were so ashamed of yourself, you didn't think I'd be able to keep loving you if I find out." She had to wipe at her eyes to keep the tears from falling. "You don't trust me, even after everything, to keep loving you. You think, on some level, that one day I'll figure out the kind of person you really are, and be disgusted with you. That's why you lied. That's why, even now, you can't really say what you did."

"No." He was almost doubled over, as if in pain. "That's not true."

She tried to smile, to reassure him that she wasn't mad, wasn't trying to hurt him. "That's why I don't believe your promises. I'm sure you mean them, but when the time comes, you'll once again hate yourself so much that you'll think I must feel the same way. I do love you Zuko, and I'll never stop. I don't think I can. But I can't be in your life if you're always afraid of it. It would hurt both of us too much, and we're the kind of people who hurt others when we're in pain. That's what we were made to be."

This time, he didn't reply.

She bowed to him. "I'm so sorry." She turned to go-

"You're wrong."

She froze, just short of the door. The candlelight flickered, sending her shadow dancing, and she turned to look back at him.

He forced himself, with obvious effort, to stand straight and tall. "I'll show you. I'll prove you wrong. I can change. We can change. And it will be beautiful."

This time, she did smile.

And she let the tears fall from her eyes. "That would be nice. But I don't believe it."

And then she left.

Mai found Suki right outside the door, as promised. Suki turned with a smile on her face, and then blanched when she actually laid eyes on Mai. "What happened?!"

Mai shook her head. "I think this is finally finished, at last."

"Oh, I- I'm sorry. Do you need help getting home? You don't look-"

"I'm fine." Mai couldn't stop herself from sniffling. "But if there isn't an assassination attempt tomorrow, you're official on my list."

Suki forced a credible laugh out, and Mai left it at that, before things could get even more awkward.

Ty Lee was waiting outside. She had a hug ready to go, and then - with the perfect understanding that could only be expected of a childhood friend - let Mai run home.

There was still a flower show happening tomorrow.

TO BE CONTINUED