Chapter Sixty Nine: Knee Jerk Reaction
Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21.
Song Playing: Weird Al's Polkarama
Theme 43: Nut
As a responsible young woman with rather over protective friends Mamori took every precaution necessary, not to mention a few that were unnecessary, when walking home late at night. Or not so late at night. Or anytime really.
So when someone came up behind her without warning and covered her eyes she felt she acted in a very appropriate way.
That very appropriate way being she shrieked. Then she drove her elbow back as hard as she could. It seemed all that advice the Ha brothers gave her about no such thing as fighting dirty and her own natural instincts paid off. With a pained groan that told her exactly what her elbow had hit the would be attacker let her go and slumped pitifully to the ground.
The moment he released her Mamori lunged for the door. She had just managed to jam the key into the lock when she heard a winded disgruntled, "Fucking crazy bony bitch."
She knew that voice.
Cringing she turned around. Even though she was more or less expecting it Mamori still flinched at the sight of her boyfriend pale, wheezing, and on bended knee clutching a very sensitive part of his anatomy.
Considering the circumstances she was willing to let the bitch comment slide just this once.
Her panic at being attacked outside her own home was replaced by her own nurturing personality compounded by a wave of guilt. In two quick strides she covered the small distance between them. Squatting down in a very unladylike way she managed to pry one of his arms away from between his legs and threw it over her shoulder. Gingerly she hefted her boyfriend up and together they hobbled into her apartment.
XxX
Be romantic, Suzuna said.
Surprise her, Suzuna said.
All couples do it, Suzuna said.
Once he gained control of his body so that breathing and not vomiting were no longer his primary goals Suzuna wasn't going to be saying much of anything. Her constantly running her mouth was what had gotten him into this situation in the first place. Well she wouldn't be able to nag him anymore once he shoved her precious 25cm skates so far down her throat that they'd be battling for space with her lower intestines. And he'd make good on that.
As soon as the colored spots stopped fucking dancing their way across his peripheral vision.
XxX
After carefully relocating her pained boyfriend to her couch, Mamori murmured a few hasty but sincere apologies before racing to the kitchen. Her hand was on the ice pack when her brain finally managed to catch up to what had happened.
Which caused her to do something that she would regret and feel guilty about for weeks after this incident had passed.
She laughed.
After all how many people could say that they did what she had done and lived to tell the tale? The whole thing was ludicrous. She considered how their friends would react when, if, she told them about this. This only brought on another round of debilitating giggles that had her sides hurting and tearing gathering at the corners of her eyes. It eventually got so bad that her legs couldn't support her and she was forced to take a seat.
It was a long time before she was able to compose herself enough to give her boyfriend his much needed cold compress.
Through the haze of pain that was Hiruma's world he could make out the obnoxious uncontrollable laughter of his girlfriend. Right then and there he decided that as soon as he finished feeding antennae girl her own footwear he was going to be having a long talk with a certain girlfriend informing her just how unattractive her snorting banshee shrieks really were.