Chapter 3: Struggles
Aqua woke up screaming.
She panted, streams of sweat coming down her face. The nightmare, the memories of her Heartless, feeding. Tearing hearts out of people's chest, of Kairi's chest...
Trying to do the same to Terra... to Ven...
The hearts of countless people...
Countless worlds...
Screaming inside of her...
She began to shake uncontrollably and scrambled for her wayfinder. Where was it, where was it, WHERE WAS IT?
THERE!
Next to her bed on her desk was her wayfinder, glowing softly, beckoning her to take it in her hands. She hurriedly obliged it, and almost instantly, her pounding heart quelled, the terror in her mind faded, the tremors in her arms and hands abated, and her breathing evened out. She stared down at the small glowing charm pressed against her chest over her heart. Was this what it was going to be like, if she didn't have the charm at her side every-time she went to sleep? Nightmares like... like... that?
She let out a shuddered breath before getting up. She didn't care what time it was, charm or not, she was not going back to sleep. She went into the bathroom, leaning against the sink, staring into the mirror at herself. Even in the darkness of the room, she could still see her own reflection... always in the darkness...
Shatter
She embedded her fist into the mirror, directly into her reflection's face. "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"
She withdrew her bloodying glass-shard filled hand and slid to the floor, taking ragged breaths. Slowly, she turned around, resting her back against the sink. She began to slowly pluck pieces of glass out of her hand and toss them into the trash. She did not flinch at any of the sharp pains, she would not allow herself to, for she deserved far worse. When she finished, she rested her hand down on her lap, reddening the clothes on her thighs. She sighed softly to herself and tapped into her magic, green restorative energy briefly glowing around her hand, casting a light over her she did not deserve.
She showered, then changed into another set of her clothes, beating the dust out of them with a flap in the air and a bit of gravity magic. She hid her last pair of clothes, the other's didn't need to see the blood, didn't need to be upset. Light knows Terra and Ven would probably flip. She shook her head and left her room...
...only to stop and stare at Terra leaning against the wall across from her door, staring at her silently.
"Terra," she said quietly.
"I remember," he said softly, "The last time you woke like that, screaming in the night about a nightmare."
"It was a dive actually," she murmured.
Terra's eyes furrowed. "I see."
Aqua turned and started walking down the hall, her head bowed.
"Aqua," his voice came.
She paused, but said nothing.
"Screaming at yourself doesn't fix anything," he said softly, "The past is the past, let it go and move on."
She didn't reply. She walked down the hallway, into the throne room, down the stairs, and left the keep. It was still dark outside, whether it was late at night or early morning she didn't know nor care. She walked to the summit and sat down on the edge, simply staring off out into the blackness in the distance.
Repulsive darkness...
She had hungered for it so readily, expecting it to save her friends. Instead, it damned them, and everyone else...
Or...
Was that an excuse?
Did the darkness damn the worlds to their ten years of hell?
Or was it her choices?
After all, wasn't darkness half of...
"Darkness is half of everything my dear," explained Xehanort, "Everything must exist in a balance, light and darkness. One cannot exist without the other."
She tensed, anger and hate radiating off her in waves as Xehanort's poisonous words filled her head. Words spoken so long ago to her younger and naive self. She hissed and clenched her fists tightly, only to pause when a light warping and skittering sound came from behind her. She turned her head and froze, surprised to see a shadow Heartless wobbling towards her. She ground her teeth, raging at herself. She had brought a Heartless to this sacred land, drawn it here with her hate, of all the stupid things she had done, this was high up there. She half-turned her body, aiming a hand out to blast it away with her magic...
...and was utterly shocked as the shadow nuzzled against her hand.
She stared at it in disbelief. "What in the..."
A memory hit her at the sight of it...
The heartless dragon overhead roared and flew down, landing next to Aqua's Heartless in the Land of Dragon's, who reached a hand up to pet it's head lovingly. "Have fun my friend, you may consume the boy, the girl is to remain intact, but not unharmed."
Even more followed. When her Heartless was not consuming worlds and hearts, she was with her brethren, walking among them. Hand's trailing their darkness based bodies like a gentle caress. So many times that her Heartless showed care, concern, and oddly love towards her fellow Heartless. As if...
"As if she knew she was missing something in her life, and replacing it the only way she knew how," muttered Aqua.
After all, she remembered her Heartless asking, almost begging Terra to succumb to darkness and take his own heart to make a Heartless. It had wanted a friend, but the desire... it was... twisted... everything that her Heartless had been... what had Terra called it? A twisted echo of everything Aqua herself had once been?
She froze for a moment, noting that her hand had started to pet the Heartless's head, almost reflexively.
She stopped, closed her eyes, and gritted her teeth. "Go back to the Realm of Darkness where you belong."
Warp.
When she opened her eyes, it was gone, but the weight, the impact of what had just happened was to heavy to bear. "Darkness recognizes its own."
The Heartless had obeyed her before, it was true, but this was different. This was far more different, and far worse. She hadn't been trying to control it, to summon it. It felt her darkness, recognized it, and it came willingly. The implication of that made her want to hurl, did the Heartless really see no difference between her and her Heartless?
Her shoulder's sagged. "Ugh..."
She stood up and walked to the middle of the summit, an annoying thought coming to mind. She channeled a bit of her darkness, as if she were going to fight...
WARP
On cue, a small cluster of Shadows and Soldier Heartless appeared, watching her, waiting for her, hungering for her command, she could feel it. She stared at the blue Heartless symbol on a Soldier's chest silently. They were drawn to her power like a moth to the flame. The last ten years of her darkness swallowing the worlds and controlling the Heartless seemed to have left a very much lingering impression. That... was a problem.
Aqua closed her eyes and forced herself to go into her memories of her time as a Heartless. That thing had been able to practically summon armies at will, beckoned from the Realm of Darkness or other worlds with simply a call. Yet, at times it had been able to show up alone. It had come to the second incarnation of Traverse Town alone to confront Xehanort's Heartless, and confronted Kairi in Alexandria on that tree by itself. So it was possible...
She focused. "Leave me, and do not come unless I actually call."
She sent it out as a ripple, spoken aloud, yet emanating from her darkness in a wave that transversed the world. The Heartless faded back into darkness, an almost disappointed sensation left in their wake. They craved her presence, but she sure as hell didn't crave theirs. She still wanted to put it to the test though. She walked down to the training rings and summoned her keyblade.
She paused briefly to glance down at it. Even after all this time, Rainfell still heeded her call. She ran a hand along it sadly, wondering if she really deserved to have her Keyblade at all. She slowly shook her head and leaped up, slashing at a ring and sending it spinning. She threw herself into batting the swinging rings along, every so often pausing to see if any Heartless were called by her actions.
Satisfied when nothing happened, she stepped away from the rings and started a kata, swinging her Keyblade about in smooth, controlled strikes. It had been ages since she had last done any solo training like this, ignoring the ten year gap. During the Xehanort Incident, most of her training had been focused on gaining knowledge or simply fighting to scale her raw power. To refine and hone her technique was something she had been slacking on. She wondered, compared to Terra, Ven, and Eraqus who had been fighting the last ten years, how far behind would she be?
She frowned and held up a hand, staring at the black glow coating it. "Do I care?"
She banished her keyblade and simply continued to stare at her hand. "Do I really want to fight anymore? Use my darkness again?"
She slowly waved her hand and suppressed her energy, banishing the darkness with a heavy sigh. "Not really."
She turned to stare at the keep off in the distance. "After Maleficent is dealt with, and Kairi becomes a Master, I think I'll take my leave of this place. Hang up my Keyblade and find some secluded world to live in."
It would be for the best, perhaps the others would be sad, but at least that way she couldn't screw anything up again. She walked up to the summit again and stood by the edge, crossed her arms over her chest, and simply stared out into the darkness. She stood there, silently brooding for hours, until the sun started to come up. She decided to head back, the others would be up and about soon, and breakfast to follow.
She paused when she saw Kairi sitting alone on a bench near the training grounds and walked towards her, only to pause when she caught sight of the girl's face. Aqua frowned, seeing a depressed look, and stretched out her senses, feeling what she saw emanating from the girl. Strange, why was the girl depressed? Aqua couldn't really think of a reason considering how much the girl had gotten back recently.
"Kairi?" questioned Aqua.
The girl jumped and masked her face and emotions. "Oh uh... good morning Aqua."
"Something wrong Kairi?" asked Aqua.
Kairi shrugged. "Not really."
Aqua gave her a not-so-impressed look and crossed her arms. "Really? It didn't look like nothing was wrong."
Kairi said nothing, bowing her head.
Aqua walked over and sat down next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "The Heartless apocalypse is over, your family is alive, and I'm back to train you as promised. Is it about Xion? We'll find a way Kairi..."
"And what's the point even if we do?" muttered Kairi.
Aqua's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean 'what's the point'?"
"Even if I get her back, even if my family's alive, how long will it stay that way?" she questioned bitterly.
Aqua frowned. "I don't understand."
"I was a little kid when I lost everything the first time," said Kairi quietly, a tremor in her voice, "I kept losing friends over the last ten years, one by one, over and over again, then I lose everything a second time, then my family came back as Nobodies, and I lost them again. How long until it happens again? A month, a year, a decade? Until the next major crisis? Whats the point if I'm going to lose them all over again? If I can't do anything to stop it?"
So that was it, the fear of loss. The helplessness against it. She'd suffered both far to much for someone her age.
"I dreamed that I lost them again last night," Kairi whispered bleakly, "I can't keep doing this."
Aqua said nothing for a few moments, not liking how vulnerable the girl seemed. "The best you can do is train as hard as you can, become as strong as you can, and do your duty to keep them and the world's safe. Even then, Kairi, everyone dies someday."
Kairi closed her eyes. "I know... but... it should be of old age, in bed, surrounded by your family and friends after living a long and fulfilling life."
Aqua gave her a sad smile. "I agree, but, the world's don't always work that way."
Kairi sighed heavily in response.
Aqua reached over and gave the girl's shoulder a squeeze. "It'll be alright Kairi, I promise."
Kairi turned her head to stare at her. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep."
Aqua said nothing for a moment before rising to her feet. "Then I suppose you should help me keep it, come, I believe you and I are overdue for some training. I want you to have the basic spells down before lunch."
If she couldn't banish the girl's troubles, then she'd do her best to work her to hard to think about them. "Now watch carefully..."
One by one, Aqua started to coach Kairi on the basics of spellwork, showing her fire, blizzard, thunder, and cure, and 'trying' to help the girl to learn how to use them. Boy oh boy though, she was not good at it.
"Think of heat Kairi, imagine warmth in your hand, call out your power, and let it go," instructed Aqua.
She resisted the urge to grimace, one again, as a burst of white fire erupted from the girl's hands. "No no no, not light magic, you have to start practicing with pure magic before you try mixing it with light."
Kairi sighed. "What am I doing wrong then? I'm doing exactly as you say, but it's always 'lighty'."
Aqua's mouth twitched in amusement at the term. "I think you'll have to do what I do to get pure magic at the start, but instead of suppressing darkness, you'll have to suppress your light instead to get a pure effect."
Kairi gave her a blank stare. "How the hell do I 'suppress' my light?"
Aqua hesitated. "Well... it's been years since I've used the light. I'm not exactly sure, I imagine it would be somewhat similar to suppressing darkness. I'll try to show you, keep your senses on me."
Aqua called slightly on her power, a weak black aura surrounding her...
...and felt a spike of fear and unease from Kairi, both briefly flashing across her face before the girl hid it. It took Aqua everything she had to not deflate, not show that she had seen that fear of her. Seen that memory in Kairi's eyes, of Aqua's Heartless coated in darkness. Instead, Aqua closed her eyes to hide the pain and depression that act inflicted on her, and then suppressed her darkness. Not trusting herself to immediately speak, she did it a few more times to stall and perhaps give a better example.
"Does... that help?" asked Aqua quietly.
Kairi closed her eyes and tried to do as she was shown. Aqua felt the girl's light, her raw power, dip a decent chunk, maybe a quarter, but no more. A frustrated look crossed the girl's face, and she seemed to try to redouble her effort, and draw Aqua's concern when her power and presence fluctuated.
"Don't force it Kairi," said Aqua abruptly.
Kairi hissed out in irritated before stopping and glaring down at her hands. "I don't understand. I get the concept, I can do it, it's like shoving the power down inside of yourself, but I just... it's like I can't fit anymore."
Aqua crossed her arms in thought for a moment. "Well... I guess that might be a side-effect of absorbing the Cornerstone. You have far more power than you are naturally capable of containing."
Kairi blinked a few times before scowling. "Well that's annoying."
"It also means you will never be able to mask your presence nor power," warned Aqua, "Anyone with any kind of capability to sense or detect power will sense you coming miles away."
"Well, guess that throws out me ever fulfilling mom's dream of me becoming the 'Great Ninja Kairi'," mused Kairi.
Aqua gave a weak chuckle before motioning to the keep. "We'll take a break for now. I imagine we kind of missed breakfast, why don't you go on ahead and see if you can't find something to eat? I'll be along in a few minutes."
Kairi shrugged. "Okay."
Aqua waited until Kairi was out of sight before she moved to sit at the bench she had found Kairi on. Aqua put her head in her hands and let out a ragged breath. Kairi had been afraid of her, Aqua had felt that fear like a knife through her body. It was an awful sensation, to have someone she cared about be afraid of her. She wasn't willfully stupid, she knew Kairi couldn't help it, it was an instinctual reaction. Her Heartless had tortured that girl over and over again. Aqua looked pretty much the same as it, coated in darkness. Kairi had every right to react that way...
It still hurt though.
It hurt so much...
Aqua took a few minutes to collect herself, wipe tears out of her eyes, and place a calm mask over her face. She walked into the keep and made for the dinning hall, joining Kairi in grabbing a few peices of fruit, and cold toast and eggs that had been left out for them. Thankfully, magic was a great re-heater.
"Morning Aqua," came Ven's voice.
Aqua turned her head to see the young man poking his head in. "Good morning Ventus."
"Have fun teaching this morning?" he asked in a teasing tone.
"Kairi is a work in progress," mused Aqua.
"Hey!" exclaimed Kairi.
Ven grinned and ducked back as Kairi raised her half-eaten toast in preparation to toss at him.
"Him and Sora are the worst," said Kairi with chagrin.
"I'll take your word for it," said Aqua before pausing, "Speaking of Sora. Him and Riku, what are your impressions of them?"
"Impressions?" asked Kairi.
"Well, the only memories I have of them were as boys, or when my Nobody briefly met Sora, what are they like?" Aqua lied.
She could tap into her Heartless's memories of fighting the two boys, but... she'd rather not touch those with a ten foot pole if it wasn't absolutely required.
"Well, I don't know Riku that well. He comes of as a fairly serious person, at least to me, he's probably more friendly with people he knows," said Kairi before growing sheepish, "Especially since he probably didn't have such a good impression of me early on."
Aqua raised an eyebrow. "Do I detect a story?"
"I might have booted Sora in the stomach," Kairi admitted before glaring at Aqua's amused look, "What? He just started laughing and dancing with me all the sudden."
Aqua smiled at that. "So that's what caused it, Sora mentioned 'the boot' to me. Anyway, what do you think of Sora?"
The purely odd look on Kairi's face took Aqua by surprise.
"I... don't know," the girl murmured.
Aqua studied the girl, noting an awkward and uncomfortable sensation emanating from her. Not to mention a whole confusing jumble of emotions. Aqua could pick out admiration and some affection for Sora in her, but... she was rather surprised to feel a huge ball of negative emotions, guilt, shame, pain, fear. They were blocking out any love she might have felt, if she did. Why she felt those towards Sora, Aqua didn't have a clue. It was kind of odd, after Sora had admitted to loving Kairi, she had easily paired the two of them in her mind. Though, it wasn't her duty to play matchmaker, ignoring her own obvious lack of experience in that regard. Still... something felt off with the girl's emotions as a whole when they were unbarred like this... something... unstable, fractured...
She decided to test the waters. "You don't know?"
"He was... just an annoyance at the beginning," said Kairi with barely restrained guilt, "Always so absurdly cheerful all the time. I kind of spited him for it, except... the first time I saw Sora really lose that happy look, it felt wrong."
"It's hard to stay mad at him though, the way he always goes out of his way to be nice and help out," said Kairi grumpily, "Even if you don't ask him to, no, especially if you don't."
She grew quiet. "He's loyal to a fault, to a stupid ridiculous fault..."
"I don't see how that's a bad thing," said Aqua.
"He should have just let Xion go," muttered Kairi, "Shouldn't have fought her, fought me, for me... stupid idiot Sora..."
Aqua's eyebrows furrowed. Kairi had mentioned Xion and Sora had fought, but she hadn't gone deeply into details. Sora had given a few more details, but, she was still lacking Kairi's perspective on the matter. Judging from the rawness Kairi was emitting at the moment, it might not be the time to ask.
"It is who he is I suppose," said Aqua before diverting Kairi's focus and attention, "Alright, breaks over, let's get back to training."
Kairi took a few moments to collect herself before rising to her feet. Together, they both left the keep to pick up where they left off...
Xehanort watched carefully from his hiding spot behind a bush on a ledge on the pathway to the summit to the Land of Departure. It was as he feared, Aqua was indeed back, restored as he had been. Worse still, she was beginning to train the Princess of Heart more in-depth. Combined with the other Keybearers, all of the champions of various worlds they had set against him, the likeliness that the former Organization members losing their loyalty to him, and the bizarre refusal of the Heartless to heed his command anymore, he found himself with very few options at the moment.
He stared silently at Aqua, off in the distance. "If only I had succeeded at the Graveyard..."
"Remaining bitter over the past wont see your goals accomplished," came a young voice behind him.
Xehanort sharply turned his head before pausing in surprise. Standing behind him on the ledge, coming out of a Dark Corridor, was a young man in the Organization Cloak, with silvery hair, and piercing yellow eyes. HIS eyes. In fact, if he didn't know any better...
Xehanort narrowed his eyes. "Who are you?"
The young man tilted his head in thought. "If you don't know, then your plans must be more derailed than I thought."
The young man pointed his finger at Xehanort. "I am you from the most distant past."
Xehanort stared at the young man. For a brief moment, he contemplated if boy was insane. But no, he felt nothing but the truth in his words, and in his eyes, so very much his own.
"Curious, how then, are you here?" asked Xehanort.
"Did you not plan to have Ansem venture into the past?" asked this 'Young Xehanort'.
Xehanort blinked a few times. "Ansem?"
Young Xehanort seemed displeased with his response. "Something is different, so very different, with this time compared to my own."
The boy moved to kneel next to Xehanort, staring out at the training Keybearers, his eyes furrowing. "Why do I feel such immense darkness within Master Aqua's heart?"
Xehanort scoffed. "Because I tried, and failed, to turn her into my vessel."
Young Xehanort turned his head to give Xehanort a disbelieving look. "Her? Not Terra?"
"I had planned on Terra initially, but, I saw an opportunity with Aqua that I took," answered Xehanort.
"Hmm," murmured Young Xehanort, rubbing his chin, "I have been to several worlds since I came to this time, both sleeping and awake, seen and learned of such differences. Yet, it was only one different choice, Aqua instead of Terra, that branched out into so strange a future."
Xehanort frowned. "The past cannot be changed, I know this from my own studies about time. Memories from the future, cannot be taken into the past. So if what you say is true, in that where you come from 'Terra' was my choice, how then do you explain this?"
"The second is easy enough to answered, I have yet to arrive back at my own proper time, thus I have not yet lost what I gained," explained Young Xehanort.
"The first however, I can only answer in theory," said Young Xehanort.
"Do tell," said Xehanort, a scholar's gleam in his eye.
"We cannot change our pasts, I believe this still stands true, as the events here have no bearing on the past which I came from," said Young Xehanort, "However, when I came to this time, I was traveling back down the stream of time to take up my destined path, I was... not paying attention, lost in my own thoughts, and was drawn to, and eventually through a... splitting strand of time. One that was breaking away from the stream."
Xehanort frowned intently. "Splitting strand? Breaking away? How is such a thing possible?"
"Time is like a flowing river," said Young Xehanort, "But little streams can break away, form their own rivers, ponds, and lakes."
"I understand the analogy, but, are you implying it simply 'happened'?" said Xehanort with a scoff, "Time is more than a river, what you are implying, an 'alternate time' would not happen without a reason. Something that causes such a thing would not be minor."
Young Xehanort tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Agreed, but I know not what it was."
It was a curious thing, and the idea of 'alternate times' was perhaps worth exploring at some point. First and foremost though, he needed to get a handle on his own situation. He needed the X-Blade, and with it, Kingdom Hearts.
"You said Terra was chosen in your time, how did that decision fair?" questioned Xehanort.
A humorless smile slowly played across Young Xehanort's face. "In a stalemate I suppose. You possessed Terra, but Aqua defeated you and ended up in the Realm of Darkness for her efforts, but by doing so, let Terra regain enough control to fight you for the body. You two ended up locking the body's memories away and delaying the plan for some time."
"It appears Aqua thwarts me in more times than just my own," mused Xehanort, "How do you play into this then?"
"My most future self, you, has a plan in motion to gather himself from various points in time to use as the thirteen darknesses for the Keyblade," said Young Xehanort, "We have twelve vessels at the moment, and are looking for a someone to bear a part of our heart as the thirteenth."
Xehanort was thoughtful. "Ingenious, using my past selves to fill the slots. I had simply intended to use twelve other chosen vessels from my Organization."
"We did that to a degree as well," mused Young Xehanort, "Isa, Braig..."
"Braig?!" snarled out Xehanort, "That traitor?"
Young Xehanort frowned. "Traitor? He is one of our strongest supporters, and most willing."
"So long as it suits his needs and someone doesn't come by with a better offer," said Xehanort with disdain.
"Aqua?" questioned Young Xehanort.
"Indeed," was Xehanort's reply, "Stole him from me on the very battlefield we fought on. She played his greed well, she came to understand darkness far more than I originally intended."
Young Xehanort paused. "You are implying she willingly turned to it."
"She did," confirmed Xehanort.
Young Xehanort stared at him, hard, "I imagine the time-frame of our attempt to create the X-Blade with Vanitas and Ventus was the same, so when exactly did this happen?"
Xehanort stared silently out across the land, staring at Aqua as she tried to coax her young apprentice to use higher forms of magic. "That depends on what you refer to. She accepted the darkness early on a few months after I delivered Ventus to Eraqus, she was uncomfortable with it, but after I told her it was half of everything she slowly began to relax to it overtime. She did not welcome it fully until Radiant Garden I believe."
"That she accepted it early on should have been a warning for you," said Young Xehanort, "You, we, did not begin to embrace the darkness until after we left our Master's care as a Master ourselves. A keybearer welcoming and delving into the darkness so quickly does not create a vessel, it creates a rival."
Xehanort opened his mouth to speak, but Young Xehanort did not stop, "That is why Terra's fall was such a masterful act. He never embraced the darkness willingly, only ever with grim reluctance, or in an emotional fit. While Terra was easy to manipulate, it does not dismiss the elegance of what was done. If he had been pushed to much, he could have embraced his darkness to much for us to handle, to little he would have remained to light to use. He was lead down the path we chose with expert precision."
Xehanort held back his pride and forced himself to think logically. "I made a mistake, I can admit that now. I am uncertain what was more foolish, the decision to darken Aqua, or doing so the way I did."
"A curious thing," said Young Xehanort, "How did you get her to turn to the dark?"
"It was twofold," said Xehanort, "First, I cracked the control she had over her heart, to allow her to experience darkness, struggle with it, give birth to trials and insecurities."
"A bit of a brute force tactic," said Young Xehanort distastefully, "What was the second?"
"Her friends," said Xehanort humorlessly, "Her weakness, her strength. She embraced the darkness for them, to protect them."
"And there would be no pit she wouldn't fling herself into on their behalf," mused Young Xehanort, "She did after all throw herself into the Realm of Darkness to try and save Terra in my time."
Young Xehanort slowly shook his head. "You say you made a mistake, an understatement my most future self, an understatement indeed. You are lucky this is still salvageable."
Xehanort raised an eyebrow. "Enlighten me then, for you see something I am having difficulty finding. Against their raw power, either Kairi or Aqua themselves could best me, and that doesn't consider the other Keybearers or their allies."
Young Xehanort gave him a disapproving look. "Since when has pure power or the number of our foes mattered? They are pieces on the chessboard to be maneuvered around. Albeit your opponent having two queens in play makes the game difficult, it is still however winnable. Especially since the queens on the board are in so... fragile... a state."
Xehanort raised an eyebrow. "Fragile?"
"You are focusing two much on the raw power they have," warned Young Xehanort, "When instead you should focus on the vessels that contain that power. Tell me, study them, what do you see?"
Xehanort frowned and refocused on Kairi and Aqua, noting first that they had been joined by their fellow keybearers. The others were laughing about something, perhaps joking around, yet...
He tilted his ear, listening, testing his senses, feeling...
A strained laugh, a forced smile. From both of them.
"So they are stressed, what of it?" mused Xehanort, "I did not make it easy for them, neither did Aqua's own Heartless, it's expected that they would be raw for some time."
Young Xehanort narrowed his eyes. "And where is the instinct to focus on that weakness? To draw it out and deepen the wound? Use it to your advantage? I've heard about your 'Organization'. Far grander in size than the one in my time, yet I wonder, did sitting on that throne, with so many to heed your beck and call, make you complacent? Make you loose your touch?"
Xehanort scowled. "Perhaps there is a weakness there, within those two, but it is not one I can personally touch nor influence."
"Directly? Of course not," said Young Xehanort, "They'd crush you in an instant. Indirectly though, there is so much you can do. For Kairi, all you would have to do to break her would be kill her family permanently, without Keyblade or Heartless involved, if that is the method you so chose to take."
Xehanort considered it briefly, but dismissed it, if he knew himself at all, his younger self had something else in mind. "What other methods are available?"
"That all depends, do you wish to do this yourself, or do you wish my aid?" inquired Young Xehanort.
Xehanort raised an eyebrow. "Why would you be here if not to aid me?"
Young Xehanort scoffed. "I have my own destined path to walk. The events here have no bearing on my future, in fact, risking my life here is a foolish thing to do."
"Yet...?" inquired Xehanort.
"I am loath to allow myself to risk failure, in any time," said Young Xehanort, "Especially when my own future is unsecured."
Xehanort frowned. "I was under the assumption you fared far better than I."
"In some ways perhaps, in some ways not," said Young Xehanort before he pointed out towards the keybearers, "Especially in regards to Sora, yours is both far stronger and far weaker than my own."
That took Xehanort off-guard, and confused him. "That boy? What of him? He's a decent bearer I suppose, but a threat? What do you mean by stronger and weaker?"
Young Xehanort was silent for a moment. "Your Sora is stronger and more skilled, raised as a Keybearer if I guess right. Ours was not, he lived as a simple boy most his life. Yet, the Sora of my time I feel is stronger, far stronger, in one critical regard."
"Which is?" asked Xehanort.
"His heart," answered Young Xehanort, "Sora, in my time, is the light, the key, that binds the lights together. So long as that boy stands, I fear our victory is in question, as much as my older self assumes otherwise. His importance is far less here in this time."
Xehanort tilted his head thoughtfully. "What would cause that difference?"
Young Xehanort rubbed his chin. "Tell me, I have heard of a 'Heartless Apocalypse' that eclipsed the Worlds in this time for roughly the last ten years. Is this true?"
Xehanort nodded. "It is. Aqua's Heartless nearly consumed all worlds, the entire Realm of Light."
Young Xehanort raised an eyebrow. "Another mark against having turned Aqua dark, the destruction of the Realm of Light was never our goal. Regardless, it tells me the reason Sora is different. In my time, his heart was allowed to grow unmarred, untainted by suffering and strife until he started his journey. Here..."
Young Xehanort grinned. "Here, I couldn't help but notice Destiny Islands is gone. I imagine from a rather young age. Such a traumatizing thing to lose one's home, one's family. Consider still the constant suffering and loss ten years of losing against the Heartless would inflict upon the boy. His heart is weighted and heavy, nowhere near the peak of the potential that heart has."
"Does that apply then to all of them?" asked Xehanort, curious about the comparison.
Young Xehanort nodded slowly. "Perhaps. They all hold more martial prowess, more pure power than their counterparts in my time, yet, they are perhaps all weaker in some way or the other. This Riku, while better trained, has no experience using, nor special resistance developed against the darkness for example. He is not nearly as dangerous to our plans as the one I know."
Young Xehanort hesitated. "The only exceptions to this rule that I see, are Ventus and Terra. Though that is easily understood, as it appears the two of them were not taken out of the equation as the ones of my time were. Terra as a Vessel, and Ventus from shattering his own heart to stop Vanitas."
He scowled. "And Eraqus of course, he was dealt with in my time."
"What of the Princess?" asked Xehanort, "What differs between them?"
"They are as different as the moon and the sun," said Young Xehanort, "Kairi in my time is merely a simple Princess of Heart, certainly not a warrior. I consider it a good thing I suppose. If the Princess of my time had a Keyblade and were trained to use it, she could be a threat considering she is more stable than this one."
"Stable?" asked Xehanort.
"Can you not see it?" asked Young Xehanort, "I've barely begun to study her and yet I can see, I can feel the cracks waiting to spread. She is an emotional disaster waiting to happen. Aqua can most likely see it as well I believe, she will try to help the girl heal and stabilize, ignoring her own issues, but not before this time 'catches up'."
Xehanort was starting to get annoyed, having to constantly ask questions to cover his lack of knowledge, "Catches up?"
Young Xehanort pointed out a finger, "Kairi is younger than the Kairi I know of, hasn't hit her last growth spurt I believe. This 'time' appears to be... I'm not quite sure, a year or so behind mine?"
"Is this significant?" asked Xehanort.
"Perhaps," said Young Xehanort, "In our time, they had merely defeated Ansem at this point, the Heartless of the possessed Terra if you were curious. In this time, your 'Ansem', Aqua's Heartless, and the Organization, have both already fallen."
"Things appear accelerated here, and when coupled with the differences between the two Kairis, I feel therein is the avenue to your success," said Young Xehanort.
Xehanort was silent this time, rather than questioning. Perhaps his younger self had been right, he HAD grown complacent over the last ten years as the Superior of the Organization. Here before him, his younger self was scheming in his full glory, already with a plan hiding behind his cunning yellow eyes, rather than lamenting his losses.
"What do you have in mind my friend?" asked Xehanort.
"First, answer my earlier question, do you wish my aid?" asked Young Xehanort.
"I would be foolish not to," said Xehanort.
"I suspect that soon enough, the Masters will make the same mistake they did in my time, sending off the apprentices alone into the Realm of Sleep as a part of their Mark of Mastery Exam," said Young Xehanort, "In my time, we tried to make Sora into a vessel, using the connections in his heart to drown him in nightmare and darkness."
"You implied Kairi held the key to success, she cannot be used as a Vessel," said Xehanort.
"I don't intend her to be," said Young Xehanort, "I simply intend to remove her from the chessboard, and I plan to use the Kairi of my time to do so."
"You're going to go back for her? How could she possibly best this Kairi?" questioned Xehanort.
"Oh no, I don't need the actual Kairi," said Young Xehanort with dark glee, "In fact, I hold doubt I could get back to this time after I leave. No, what I intend is the same, and yet the opposite of what was done to Sora in my time."
"Which means what?" demanded Xehanort.
"Drown her in light and the most pleasant of dreams, rather than drown her in nightmare and darkness," said Young Xehanort with a dark chuckle.
Xehanort's eyebrows furrowed, curious about what he meant.
"I will take Kairi out of the equation, which will tilt the playing field in your favor and will help to further destabilize the others," said Young Xehanort, "Without Sora being the binding light here, to draw them back together, I foresee any fracture between the bearers to be a lasting damage.
Young Xehanort gave him a warning look. "You on the other-hand have to work on catch-up. You are eleven vessels behind your counterpart in my time. You must rectify this deficiency, immediately. I don't care how, it's not my problem."
Xehanort nodded slowly and stood. "Indeed."
"I will stay to continue to watch them and learn," said Young Xehanort, "At some point though, I wish to have a more in-depth discussion about the differences between our times."
Xehanort nodded curtly and formed a dark corridor. "Agreed, I am curious about the exact play-out of events in your time."
Young Xehanort nodded, but said nothing in response. With that Xehanort went through the corridor, eager to find the vessels he needed...
"Your starting stance helps to determine how the flow of battle begins," explained Aqua, holding her Keyblade out to the side, her other hand mirroring it on the other side of her body, "Tell me, what does my stance suggest?"
"It's... not really offensive or defensive I guess," said Kairi.
Aqua nodded. "Correct, it is a versitle stance, not favoring either start. I can assume the offense, transfer into a defense, or simply fall back and start unleashing magic."
Kairi nodded. "Okay."
"Have you ever considered your own?" asked Aqua.
Kairi shrugged. "I really don't have one, I kind of just throw myself into a fight."
"Yeah she sure does," called over Sora, mid spar with Ventus.
Kairi turned her head to glare at the boy. "Why don't you go train somewhere else?"
"Nope, we're fine here," called over Ven cheekily.
Aqua smiled a little at the antic. "Well, anyway Kairi you ought to give it some thought. There is far more to battle than wildly swinging your keyblade around."
Kairi's face turned a little red. "I don't just swing it around wildly!"
"Well, it is true you at least try to aim it," teased Aqua.
Kairi scowled. "Hmph!"
"What of your family and friends?" asked Aqua, "What of their stances have you seen?"
Kairi gripped her keyblade two-handed, and pointed it out infront of her at an angle, a slightly dissatisfied expression on her face. "It looks more imposing when you have Cloud or Leon's big swords."
Aqua thought briefly, vaguely recalling the two's weapons. "Yes, those swords also cover more area. It's hard to find an opening when a giant sword is held in front of you as a block. It's part of their stance to not give their opponent a good way to start off. Though, a heavy weapon like that is more difficult to maneuver or wield."
Kairi raised an eyebrow. "You obviously haven't seen Cloud fight. He swings that sword of his around like it's a twig."
Aqua shrugged. "I guess."
"Anyway, a Keyblade doesn't quite offer that much area protection," said Aqua, "But, it offer's many other advantages. A Keyblade is capable of channeling energy and amplifying it, whether light, darkness, fire, ice, lightning, whatever you choose. A Keyblade cannot be permanently broken..."
"I beg to differ," muttered Kairi.
Aqua gave her a curious look. "Explain."
"I think she means when Xion had it, when Kairi's heart was giving out, Oathkeeper started to look broken," called over Sora.
Aqua nodded slowly. "I see. Well, under normal circumstances, a Keyblade cannot be permanently broken. Even if you, I don't know, freeze it with magic and smash it on a cliff, if you dismissed and resummoned your Keyblade, it would be whole. However, a Keyblade is tied to one's heart once it has chosen you. If the Heart it is connected to perishes..."
She briefly thought of the Keyblade graveyard, "The key goes lifeless and dull."
"Can a Keyblade ever un-choose someone?" asked Kairi.
If it could, Aqua figured she would be the perfect candidate for that abandonment. "I don't know, I've never heard of that happening before."
"Neither have I," came Terra's voice.
Aqua turned to see Terra, Eraqus, and Riku walking over to the training area, standing off a ways to watch the two pairs.
Aqua refocused. "Anyway Kairi, if you were to pick an opening stance, what would you want? Balanced? Defens..."
"Aggressive," said Kairi without question.
Aqua studied Kairi for a moment. Aggressive huh?
"Well, let's see you spar and I'll try to give a few pointers on that and fighting in general," suggested Aqua.
Kairi nodded and readied her keyblade. "Ready when you are."
Aqua froze up for a moment. Kairi wanted to spar... fight her?
"I uh, meant with someone else," said Aqua quickly before passing her gaze around the others, "I can't really give pointers if I'm caught up in the fight. How about Riku?"
Riku shrugged. "Sure why not."
Aqua couldn't help but notice the slight narrowing of Terra's eyes and the bright tint of concern, but thankfully the man said nothing.
Aqua walked a bit away to give the two apprentices room. "Alright, this is about technique, not power. No magic or anything serious, just practice your keymanship."
Both Ven and Sora stopped sparing and laughed.
Ven snorted. "Is that even a word?"
Aqua scowled at him. "Well, keyblade's aren't swords so you can't say swordsmanship."
Ven just gave her a teasing smile and walked over, making Aqua roll her eyes and turn back to the apprentices. "Begi-"
Aqua's eyes went wide to see Kairi practically fly at Riku before she even finished, Keyblade reaping through the air. Riku took a startled step back, raised his keyblade to block, then instead spun around, letting Kairi's momentum take her forward and then to the ground with a slight trip and slamming the pummel of his Keyblade into her back. Kairi rolled and swung as she rose to her feet, expecting Riku to have kept up, but the boy merely back off and waited.
Kairi rushed at him and swept her keyblade in wide, powerful arcs while Riku merely twitched his Keyblade to block, wincing at the impact but not having to maneuver much. Aqua frowned at this, Kairi kept sweeping her Keyblade around, as if to drive off multiple opponents...
Oh.
"Ven...," murmured Aqua, "From what you know of her, has Kairi ever had to really fight Keyblade against Keyblade, or against someone with a melee weapon? You know, something not Heartless?"
"Umm, no clue about her time in Traverse Town, but when she was with us, it was pretty much just Heartless," murmured Ven back, "I see it to, she's giving out way to many openings by swinging it around like that."
"How much time did you guys have to train her?" asked Aqua.
"Erm... not much," admitted Ven, "It was mostly just missions and resting. We gave her pointers on her abilities when we could, but... there really wasn't a lot of time."
"So her experience in fighting is pretty much against the Heartless, save for her brief fight against the Organization, and maybe some sparring against her friends and family back home," said Aqua.
"Probably," said Ven, "I mean, she's fine fighting Heartless, but, you don't really need a perfect or even half-skilled form to beat mindless opponents."
There came a yelp from Kairi as Riku smashed the flat of his Keyblade on Kairi's hand after a sweep, causing her to let go and send the keyblade flying.
"Kairi," called out Aqua, "Keep your blade closer to your body. Control how much effort you put into your attacks, where the Keyblade goes. Don't just swing it about. You have one opponent, and it pays to keep your keyblade between you and him, not behind you or off to the side."
Kairi's face flushed in embarrassment before she recalled her Keyblade, adjusted her grip, and resumed attacking. Aqua watched passively for a few minutes, studying Kairi as she fought, or rather, attacked, since Riku appeared to simply be allowing her to strike out without counter. The girl wasn't kidding, she was aggressive. She was not a calm and collected fighter, emotion bled across her face and into every swing.
And then the frustration kicked in when she couldn't get passed Riku's defenses.
With a growl, Kairi summoned her second Keyblade, Two-Become One, in her other hand and grew twice as aggressive, light starting to coat her body and blade.
"Kairi," warned Aqua, "This is a spar, not a fight, sheath the light."
Kairi briefly paused to banish the light and resumed.
"Sora wasn't joking, she really can duel-wield Keyblades," murmured Ven.
"Yeah," admitted Aqua, "And I have no idea or advice on how to fight with two, mastering one blade is difficult enough."
"Riku," called out Terra, "You know you can fight back."
Riku shrugged between parries and blocks. "Don't need to."
"Don't need to?!" exclaimed Kairi angrily, hot light starting to engulf her keyblades again.
"Kairi," warned Aqua again.
Kairi grumbled to herself and banished her light once more. "Could win easily if I cut loose."
Riku scowled at her. "Yeah, sure, you probably could beat me into the dirt if you used all your power. Raw strength isn't everything though, I'm still a better fighter."
"Well excuse me if you've had years of practice with a keyblade," growled Kairi.
"Yeah? Well how about you try to practice and learn with one keyblade before you fool around with a second," said Riku, swinging his keyblade precisely, smashing into Kairi's left hand, and sending Two-Become One flying.
Aqua half-turned her head towards Ven. "Those two have issues?"
Ven shrugged. "Dunno, they really don't interact much."
"Kairi," called out Aqua, "I want to see how you defend, stop attacking."
"Best defense is a good offense!" called back Kairi.
Aqua blinked a few times, not sure if to be amused or annoyed. "Does that mean you have an acceptable defense, or your bad on it?"
Kairi flinched at that, and Riku took the advantage, stepping forward and swinging in heavy, focused swings. It became very apparent, very quickly, Kairi was terrible on the defense. Someone had thought her to fight, she had the motions, but they were awkward, rusty and unpracticed. Riku picked her apart with childish ease, swatting one keyblade out of her hands, then the other, and holding her at keypoint.
"How about you two call it for now," called out Terra.
Riku lowered his keyblade, stared at Kairi for a moment, shook his head, and turned away to rejoin his master. Kairi stood there for a second, flustered and angry, before she forced herself to calm down, recalled her keyblades, and banished them.
Aqua put a hand on the girl's shoulder when she walked over. "Don't sweat it Kairi. You'll get there. I'll walk you through a few starting katas later."
"Yeah, apprentice time is over, time for the masters to have some fun!" teased Ven.
"We 'just' sparred," deadpanned Sora.
"Shhh," said Ven, slugging his shoulder, "That was 'teaching!' I wanna have some fun."
Sora rolled his eyes.
"Anyway, Aqua, up for a spar?" asked Ven, a grin on his face, "I got a lot of new moves to show you!"
For a moment, she was about to say yes, eager to pick up in the life she left off. Then... Kairi's face, filled with fear, flashed across her mind and Aqua froze up. Ven, and the others, they had fought her Heartless for a decade. Would she see that same fear on their faces in a spar when she called out her power? Even worse... she had no right to ever raise her weapon, or use her power against her friends, even in a spar, for the hell she had put them through. She could not bear the thought of hurting them anymore than she already.
"No thank you Ven," she managed to say, doing her best to keep the tremor out of her voice.
"Aww why not?" whined Ven.
Aqua shrugged and averted her eyes, picking a random excuse. "I haven't had the time to really test myself out. Wouldn't be comfortable sparing right now."
Ven frowned briefly, studying her, before shrugged. "Okay, maybe another time."
Aqua felt a lot of eyes on her and silently cursed herself. She wasn't doing a good job, her friends didn't need to be concerned about her.
"Well, how about the two of us show you what we've learned then, eh?" said Ven, glancing at Terra.
Aqua gave a weak smile. "Sure."
Aqua didn't have the heart to really watch. She had seen enough of their abilities over the last decade through her Heartless. Terra was a monster with raw power and the light. Attacks so strong and bright nothing but the deepest of darknesses could withstand him. Defenses so sturdy, immovable as a mountain, shielded with the light. Ven was fast, to an absurd degree. Bathed in wind and light, he could flow around a battlefield and dance around an opponent with ease. He could whittle away while dodging his opponent, or simply choose the opportune time to burst at his opponent with everything he got.
None of their abilities had matter against her Heartless, and watching the two spar just brought back memories of their struggles. She closed her eyes and suppressed her senses to dull the pain watching them brought.
Thankfully, Eraqus and Aurora came out an announced lunch not to much later, the sparing stopped, and the group began to disperse.
"Coming Master Aqua?" asked Kairi.
"In a bit, I'm not hunger at the moment," said Aqua quietly.
Kairi's eyebrows furrowed before turning and heading into the keep with the other apprentices. Aqua gave Ven and Terra a brief look before she stood up and started heading for the summit.
"Aqua," said Terra, "What was that earlier?"
Aqua paused and half turned her head. "What was what?"
"That freeze up," said Terra calmly, his eyes searching hers, "All Ven asked was for a spar."
Aqua was unable to stop a pained look from crossing her face."..."
"All I asked for was for a spar," said Ven, curious, "You think I'd ask you to pull a tooth or something."
"I... I won't fight any of you," whispered Aqua.
"Uh... a spar isn't really a figh...," began Ven, confused.
Terra held up a hand and cut him off, taking a few steps towards Aqua. "Why?"
Because she couldn't face that fear on their faces. Because she had seen them in pain, hurt by her Heartless countless times, and she couldn't bear to hurt them...
"I just don't want to," said Aqua, masking her face with a blank calm look and turning away.
Terra's hand clamped on her shoulder. "Aqua, don't shut us out, not this time. Don't face your problems alone again."
Aqua cracked at that, flinching, and for that moment, she lost her nerve. "I... I have her memories..."
"Whose memories?" asked Terra, baffled.
Aqua turned and gave him a bleak look. "My Heartlesses."
A look of disbelief crossed his face. "You're serious?"
"I remember each... e-each and every way she... it... I... ever hurt any of you," said Aqua, a tremor in her voice and arms.
"Oh Aqua," said Terra quietly.
He put his arms around her in a tight hug; she lost all control at that and starting sobbing, "I'm sorry Terra, Ven, I'm so sorry..."
Ven walked around and hugged her from the other side. "It's okay Aqua, that wasn't you, it's not your fault..."
Encompassed by her friends, she let out her grief. "Yes it is! I'm was so stupid... so stupid... I chased into the darkness to try to save you both, I nearly doomed you instead. I hate myself... I hate Xehanort... I hate the darkness... I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"
They let her sob, guiding her to a nearby bench and sitting her down. Ven sat down next to her and Terra knelt down in front of her.
"Aqua, I don't like seeing you like this," said Terra, pained, "If this is how you feel, then perhaps its time to put both darkness and hate behind you. Learning how to walk in the light once more might help you heal."
Aqua closed her eyes, tears streaming down her face. "I can't Terra, I can't..."
"I don't wanna sound forceful, but why not?" asked Ven.
"I... my Heartless... it committed genocide against the entire Realm of Light," whispered Aqua.
A heavy silence overcame her friends.
"I can't find the light again. Not when my crimes haunts my nightmares, my waking thoughts, can be seen on the faces of those I hurt, can be flung rightfully at my face by the inhabitants of the worlds," she whispered mournfully, "I just can't..."
Terra sighed heavily. "Aqua... you have to let it go. If you can't find a way to forgive yourself, it's going to eat away at you for the rest of your life."
"Maybe I deserve it," she muttered.
"No one deserves that," scolded Ven, "You're not a bad person Aqua, you made a mistake in a situation that was forced on you."
"Did I?" she said bitterly, "At any point after Kairi healed my heart, I could have returned to Master Eraqus, could have went home. I didn't. Instead, I sought more and more power and knowledge within the darkness. The things I did to get stronger... Maleficent... the Realm of Darkness..."
She could so easily remember the hours spent reading through Xehanort's stolen books. Using her Keyblade to rip the hearts of out Maleficent's pig minions to practice defending her heart against foreign invaders. Then, the hours she spent in the Realm of Darkness, fighting heartless, commanding Invisibles to help her fight...
She didn't realize she had started shaking until Ven grabbed her arm. "Easy Aqua..."
"Xehanort brought out the worst in all of us Aqua," said Terra seriously, "None of us are proud of that time, not a one. All of us made critical mistakes during that time, each of us had the power to prevent what happened, all of us failed Aqua, not just you."
"How did any of you fail?" asked Aqua with disbelief.
"I never should have let you fight against Xehanort at the end, knowing what he wanted of you," said Terra, "I could have faced him and won. This doesn't even touch on how badly I bungled our 'reunion' at Radiant Garden. I drove you away."
"I rushed into situations without thinking," admitted Ven, "From the moment you left, to tons of incidents out in the worlds, to going home to confront the Master about what I was, to risking Xehanort getting the X-Blade by fighting Vanitas. I never stopped to think, rarely letting Terra even give me a piece of advice before I shot out ahead."
"Eraqus made one of the greatest mistakes as well," said Terra, "Trying to kill you and Ventus to stop Xehanort was... there are no words for it. The act unbalanced all of us, and took Eraqus out of the fight at the Keyblade Graveyard as a potential ally while he had to recover."
"Master Yen Sid did almost nothing but sit back and give advice when we came to seek it," said Ven, "Mickey helped a bit, but that Star Shard of his kept going off at bad times, or he arrived late. If Mickey had been there at the start of the battle at the Keyblade Graveyard, four on two would have made it end a lot quicker. Ignoring the guy you got to turn on Xehanort of course."
"And myself, Ven, and Eraqus are all guilty of not approaching you about your darkness to try and help before the Mark of Master Exam," added in Terra.
Aqua sighed. "Terra, Ven..."
"What were trying to say Aqua, is that you're not alone," said Terra.
"Yeah, don't keep it all bottled up this time around," said Ven, "We can help bear the load."
What had she done to deserve friends as good as them? She didn't honestly know, in her own mind, she had done enough to lose them over and over again. Yet, here they were...
Aqua smiled weakly at them. "I don't know what I'd ever do without the two of you."
"C'mon, let's not keep the kids waiting," said Ven, "Time to eat!"
Aqua gave a soft sigh, wiped her tears away on her sleeve, and stood up, walking alongside her friends towards the keep, a soft smile on her face...