Need

She woke up bathed in sweat, trembling with fear and desperation. She got up and grabbed her robe. She went to the living area and looked outside. She needed to see him. She needed to know he was there on his ship. She needed to see he was alright. Or at least, that the bit that was left of him was alright. She knew he had nightmares of his own. Deanna had told her. She looked towards the door. All it would take was a few steps. His quarters were basically next door. Nobody would see her. But she felt pinned to where she was standing. Then she heard him calling out her name again. His voice was desperate and in need for relief. She took a deep breath and started to move towards the door.

She rang at his door but didn't get any answer. She knew, he was in there. She had checked that out before she left. She needed to just see him. To make sure he was on this ship. My god, I am cracking up completely she thought, when she used her medical emergency code to get in. It was dark. He was probably sleeping. She moved in so the door would close behind her. It was then she heard him call out her name again, not in her mind but in reality. But he wasn't addressing her.

She noticed a small line of light emerging from the bedroom, so she silently moved to seek him out. When she reached the door, she stopped in shock. Jean Luc Picard was lying on his bed practically naked. His olive-green rope was wide open and had slipped down his shoulders and his legs were covered with a blanket. His eyes were eyes closed and small sweat pearls glittered on his forehead and around his nose. His hands frenetically rubbing his penis, he whispered her name, tears emerging from his eyes.

She needed to leave, she needed to disappear, before he would notice that she was there. He must never know or else it would shatter their relationship forever. But she couldn't leave. She needed to let her eyes wander over his wonderful body and rest on his amazing manhood. He looked gorgeous. She felt her nipples stiffen and her sex swelling. Absently minded she liked her lip. She felt that old need for him growing in her again. She wanted him and seeing him there in his greatness made her want him more than ever.

She would give anything for him. His eyes still closed he called out her name again "Beverly. Please." All of a sudden she realized, he was thinking of her, imagining her. She could see that he was slowing down, giving up to find release. Just like herself earlier tonight, he couldn't find release nor peace. She was still standing at the door not being able to leave, when he opened his eyes and looked her straight in the eyes. Time stood still before they both grasped for air. He let loose of his manhood and his arm slid to the side onto the dark grey silk sheet of his bed. He sank into the bed as if someone had cut the strings of a puppet.

Beverlys mind was starting to run. She couldn't leave now. She needed to do something. She knew how much he was humiliated by her presence. And it was her, putting him into this situation. She would never be able to forgive herself. He would never be able to forgive her.

She slowly moved her hand up to her breast and started to brush over one of her nipples. Then she stared to ever so slowly move towards him. He looked puzzled but didn't move. When she had reached the bed, she took his strong big hand into hers, kissed his knuckles and placed it on her erected nipple. His response was instantly. He stroke her breast. She knelt on the bed beside him and he placed his other hand on her hip, holding her, caressing her. She bent down to kiss him.

All of a sudden he drew back.

"No", he uttered towards her.

Beverly was confused. Why did he stop? Had he not just called out her name?

He shook his head, turned to her. His hand grabbed her face and she instantly leaned into him. He saw the question in her eyes.

"We cannot do this!"

Beverly grabbed his hand and tried to pull it onto her waist again.

"Why?!"

"You don't love me."

Beverly bit her lip and shook her head. A single tear started to slip from her eye. She placed her hand on his chest above his heart.

"No Jean Luc! That is not true. I love you. In fact I have been falling in love with you deeper and deeper since I first met you."

He grasped. He couldn't believe his ears. Finally he spoke.

"Why now?"

Beverly's hand started to roam over his chest.

"Because you need me. Because I need you!"

She looked at him, searching his face for an answer. She needed him now and he needed her. Couldn't he see her need for him. She wanted to relieve him and she needed to be relieved. Maybe it was for the wrong reasons, but she didn't mind.

She leaned into him and placed a tender kiss on his lips.

"Please", she pleaded and started to kiss him again. His response was instant.