Forgiving

She felt better. Talking to Deanna had helped to sort out her feelings. She grabbed her lab coat and went to join the morning session of the senior officers. This time she smiled entering the observation lounge. She sat down casually on her chair next to the captain and shot him a bright smile saying "Good morning Jean Luc." Jean Luc smiled back at her, feeling better that he had in weeks. He didn't know what had caused her to change, but he would need to wait one more day to find out.

Entering her quarters nine hours later he was surprised to find the scenario pretty romantic. He didn't know what to expect. When he had gotten her message yesterday he had felt his heart sink down to his feet again. She wanted to talk, but what would she say. She could present her resignation or an offer of peace. He didn't want to leave her. For two reasons. He knew she loved her job in the Enterprise, she loved those people here and she simply belonged here. Second he personally didn't want to lose her. The morning meeting had been promising. She was in a good mood and everybody noticed and was relieved. Data had even made one of his innocent remarks that went right to the heart with his special innocent truth. But with Beverly one never knew. He had been nervouse, but everything looked very inviting. He placed the bag he was holding in his hand on the shelf next to the door.

Beverly had dimed the lights and a dozen candles were distributed in the room. There was no music, but he didn't mind. They had to do some talking and the setting looked more like an offer of peace than her final goodbye. He felt his heart dancing instead of falling on his feet.

She was standing at the far end of the room lighting the last candles. He was taken aback by the grace she displayed by the simple act of bending down to light the candle. He gasped when she turned around walking slowly towards him. She was beautiful. She had chosen a simple black knee long skirt and an light beige slim cut turtle neck. Her hair seemed to be burning and her eyes were shining brightly. He stood there, just in front of the door not being able to move.

He was totally in her hands. Had she told him to go down to his knees and bark like a dog, he would have done it. He wanted her back no matter at what cost. Now that he had had her his need for her was even stronger than his initial want for her 15 years ago. She approached him and to his utter astonishment, she placed her hand on the side of his face and placed a kiss on his cheek lingering slightly longer than necessary. He carefully inhaled her scent, the beautiful poison of her filling his system. He was lost and he knew it.

He swallowed hard. This is not what he had expected. Not from Beverly. In a way the kiss made things even worse. Could it be that easy? He was prepared to beg and plead, he was prepared to fall on his knees and fetch the moon from the sky! He felt, he needed to suffer. He wanted to do something. He wanted to pay for his guilt. None had said a word so far. Beverly was standing only a step apart from him. She looked towards him. Jean Luc raised his eyes to look her in the eyes. And what he saw was love.

He took a deep breath. He wanted to talk, but he didn't know what to say, so the only word leaving his lips was her name.

"Beverly."

She smiled. She lifted her hand again to slowly, tenderly caress his cheek. She simply had to touch him. She felt drawn to him like a moth was drawn to the sun. She took a deep breath to, letting her hand slip down. It was hanging heavily down her arm like a her strength had been drained away from her by her last touch.

"Thank you for coming."

She managed to say.

He nodded. When was the last time he felt so tongue tied?

She started to slowly move towards the sofa. When he was not coming along, she turned around, stretched out her arm towards him and said.

"Come!"

She sat down and padded her hand on the sofa next to her, indicating him to sit down. She nodded towards the table.

"I think we should talk first."

Jean Luc sat down and nodded. Glad she had ordered him to sit down next to her. Once again he was astonished how she did it. How he was completely in her hands. Did she even know how much power she had over him.

She raised her eyebrows waiting for him to start. Jean Luc took one of her hands into his and slipped it on his knees in front of her. Words started to form in his mind and managed to find its way out of his lips.

"I've been a fool and behaved like an idiot."

He took a deep breath before continuing. He had not allowed himself to look into her eyes. His gaze was fixed on her hand in his. Such an elegant, tender had. The thought simply shot into his mind.

He gazed up but couldn't hold her gaze. It seemed too painful still son continuing, he stared at their hands again.

"I don't know what had gotten into me. I have no explanation. And there is non. I behaved like a compete idiot and I don't even know why. The only thing left is: Forgive me. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else. You are my heart. And I want to be with you. I want you back Beverly. Please Beverly. Forgive me."

He looked up into her piercing blue eyes. She took her free hand and caressed his cheek slipping down to him onto the floor. She shook her head.

"Don't kneel in front of me."

It broke her heart to see him so small and broken. She came very close and continued whispering.

"You have hurt me very much Jean Luc. I was battling whether I would ever manage to trust you again."

She bit her lip.

"I still don't know. But life without you felt like hell. I seem to cannot let loose of you."

She smiled. She tenderly placed a kiss on his cheek. She looked into his eyes.

"I want you back, too."

Picard didn't trust his ears.

"So you will forgive me?"

Beverly nodded.

"I have already forgiven you."

She took a deep breath before she continued.

"But you will never deny me again! Else I will have to leave and never come back. I just couldn't take that again. My life and wellbeing is in your hands. Don't you know that?"

She felt tears welling up again and looked into her lap.

He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of that lump in his throat.

She drew closer and leaned her forehead to his.

"And I don't want to leave. I love you Jean Luc."

She felt a tear slipping from her eye.

Jean Luc rubbed her nose against hers, whispering.

"I love you and I cannot describe how lucky I am to be loved and forgiven by such a woman as you."

He leaned in and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Beverly reacted instantly deepening the kiss slipping her hand around his neck.

Jean Luc ended the kiss and got up, pulling her up with him. He looked into her eyes smiling. He touched her face, tracing her lines. Beverly shuddered. His touch was exquisite. She loved his touch. He had big, strong hands and she had never imagined, that his touch would be so tender and sensitive. He motioned her to sit.

"Wait here."

Beverly looked at him questioningly. He went to the shelf to fetch the bag, he had left there when entering. Coming back to her, he got down next to her on the sofa again. He pulled out two champagne flutes and a bottle of champagne. He started to open the bottle.

"My brother, Robert, handed me the bottle when I left."

Jean Luc smiled.

"We had been fighting a lot, but in the end all fights were fought and we were simply brothers."

His gaze was directed into the eternity of space for a moment.

"When we sat together that night, he gave me an advice. He told me to get myself a wife and some children. And when he gave me this bottle he had ordered me, to drink it with the woman I am going to marry. The moment he gave me that bottle, I knew I was going to drink it with you, I was just afraid to scare you away, but I cannot hold back any longer."

He looked into her eyes hopefully. Searching for an answer.

"I know I failed you and you have a hard time trusting me. My timing is really bad. But Beverly, you are the only woman I could ever marry. You can take all the time you need to take, but please don't push me away. Marry me. Today, tomorrow, in a week, a month or a year. I don't mind, but promise me to consider me as your husband."

Beverly was shocked. She didn't know what to say. It took her several moments to grasp, what he had just said. What he wanted from her. Full commitment. Was she ready? Was that what she wanted? Yes! She didn't need to think about it. She didn't need to consider. She already knew.

"I will marry you Jean Luc Picard. Not today, not tomorrow and probably also not next week, but I will marry you. There is nothing I want more than to be with you."

Now Jean Luc was left lost for words.

She kissed his mouth, then his cheek and whispered into his ear.

"And if you want a child I will give you one."

He took her face in between his hands, looked her in the eyes lovingly and kissed her passionately. He pulled back, smiled and shook his head.

"YOU never cease to amaze me, my beautiful, wonderful Beverly."

They spent the evening making up for the lost time. Beverly still felt slightly hurt and reluctant to let go completely in the beginning, but just as she had kissed away his wounds, that were left by the Borg, he kissed away the wounds he had left on her soul. Within less than a week even the tiniest ensign on board the Enterprise knew that the Captain and the Doctor were lovers.