Once at the gym, he changed into workout clothes and went directly to the big punching bag. An awful feeling of déjà vu washed over him. He'd done this same thing right after Suzanne McNeil, a.k.a. Jane Doe, had nearly killed all of them.
He was so incredulous and angry he could have slapped her stupid.
Though he figured the injuries she'd suffered from the bomb were probably punishment enough. Kate was pretty banged up and he wondered exactly how she'd survived the explosion. They had all been lucky…this time.
He changed into workout clothes and put on some gloves and attacked the big punching bag. He needed something right now and this seemed to be the best thing. It was late and he was alone.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he growled, hitting the bag hard. The bag took it and he hit it harder, throwing in a couple of good kicks while he was at it.
"How did you not see she was playing you?" Tony attacked the bag with a vicious kick. He remembered seeing the look on Gibbs' face at times. He'd known something was off, too, though he chose to let Kate deal with that woman. That had just seemed to pour gasoline on the flame.
Tony attacked the bag in silence for a little while and then groused, "I knew something was up but you wouldn't fucking listen! What kind of profiler are you anyway? Oh right, I'm just a stupid frat boy who doesn't know which end is up." He punched the bag, the ferocity behind it made his entire body heat up.
He delivered a vicious right hook at the bag and the bag bounced at the sheer force behind it, and that seemed to expend the last of his reserves. He fell against the bag, letting it support him for a moment before he righted himself. When he came back to himself, he realized he wasn't alone and looked over to see Gibbs standing near the door. When Tony looked over, Gibbs headed for him.
"You okay?"
Tony glared. "Do I look anything resembling okay to you, Agent Gibbs?"
It wasn't often Tony could surprise Gibbs but the way Gibbs drew back in self-defense told him that this time he'd succeeded. Tony knew his usual easy-going nature didn't prepare people for his anger and accompanied sarcasm. He straightened and looked Gibbs in the eye, anger still snapping. "Why are you here? I thought you took Kate home."
"I did."
"And you left her alone?!" Tony's mouth fell open in surprise. Stupid though he thought Kate was, she still didn't need to be alone right now.
Gibbs shook his head. "Called Abs. She's staying with her tonight."
Tony expended the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Why did you allow her to break protocol and take that woman back to her place? What if she got her memory back sooner, if she ever lost it at all? She might've killed Kate!"
Gibbs let out his own whoosh of breath. "At the time, we believed she was targeted because she knew too much, not that she was part of it."
"Yeah, because Kate said so. Look where that got us!"
"Can only with work with what we know."
"What we knew wasn't much," Tony muttered as his mind came back to the present as he punched the bag a few more times. "Kind eyes." Another kick so hard that the chain holding it actually bent with the force. "Ask Gerald how fucking kind he was!" Tony yelled as he hit the bag several times in succession, followed by a swift kick, jostling the heavy bag. "Unbelievable!"
Tony then hit the bag hard countless more times until, finally, his aggression was spent. He wasn't surprised to look over at the door and see Gibbs standing there, just as he was the first time.
Gibbs started to walk toward him but Tony held up a hand. "Not now! Just…not now!"
Tony headed to the locker room to wash the sweat off. His shower was brief due to the fact that he hated being naked at work, but after he dried off and dressed, he sat on the bench, his elbows on his knees and doing his best to think rationally about all this.
The problem was that he didn't feel rational. Anger pumped through his veins but worse than that, he felt betrayed, not just for himself but for Gerald. Kate never should've hesitated to stab that bastard. It shouldn't have occurred to her to think twice. Haswari had held them prisoner. Gerald had badly needed medical attention. She had been the agent in the room. She should've done whatever it took to get Gerald and Ducky out of there alive.
But she hadn't.
He had kind eyes.
Tony wiped his hands down his face. How could he work with her now? How could he trust her? If she wouldn't do anything to help Gerald, and Ducky, of all people, how could he count on her to look out for Tim, Gibbs and himself?
How could she not…?
His thoughts were interrupted by the squeak of the door opening. Tony didn't even have to look over. He already knew who it was. He stared at his locker in front of him and just waited.
He heard Gibbs' soft tread make his way to where he was. Gibbs sat down a little ways down the bench, straddling it. Tony could feel his boss's eyes on him. He knew Gibbs was waiting him out but he didn't want to speak. He also couldn't endure the silence between them. It was too tense, too heavy, too…everything.
"I don't want to work with her anymore," Tony said, almost before he realized what he was going to say. Once the words were out, he couldn't call them back and honestly, he didn't want to call them back. He knew they were true the moment they left his mouth.
"Look, Tony, I know you're upset…"
"No," Tony interrupted. "This is so far beyond upset it's skydiving to hell."
Gibbs sighed.
"I can't trust her to watch our backs. She didn't do what she needed to do to help Gerald and Ducky out of that situation. She was the agent. They weren't. Gerald was in trouble. What if we're hurt in the field and she stands between our lives and death? Then what? Is she going to think a shooter has kind eyes and not shoot him? She doesn't even like me. She isn't going to lift a finger to save me. She wants to shoot you more often than not because you're cryptic. That frustrates her. She might save you out of a sense of obligation because you saved her career, but..." Tony trailed off, only to pick up the thread a moment later. "She likes Tim. He's just a probie so she'd probably save him. He's like her pet puppy that she'll pat on the head once in a while."
"Tony, don't you think you might be overreacting a little?"
"How so?" Tony asked in a monotone. He wondered the same thing, but he wasn't about to admit it. Overreacting or not, his anger was justified.
"You as good as said she wouldn't save either of us but I think she would."
"Yeah? Ask Gerald and Ducky how well she handled being held hostage. I'm sure Gerald will love to tell you how much fun it was to be in so much pain he couldn't think straight, while Kate, a federal agent, just stood there and did nothing."
"We weren't there. We don't know how it went down."
"She couldn't explain to me why she couldn't stab him. Now I find out she thought that bastard had kind eyes…after he shot an innocent man? I'm not overreacting. You're actually underreacting for once, and that makes me wonder how I can trust you!"
"Excuse me?" Gibbs' voice was suddenly teetering on dangerous.
"You heard me."
"Don't take this out on me."
"Why not? You're the one who insisted on hiring her. I actually read her file and I didn't find it that impressive. Profiling potential presidential assassins is a lot different than profiling your never-average criminals. She's made too many big mistakes that have nearly got us killed. She isn't cut out for this. The sooner you own up to that, the easier this will be."
"What d'you want me to do?"
Tony looked at Gibbs. "Do the right thing. Rein her in and make her do FLETC all over again. If she makes it out of there, then maybe a second chance will be in order."
"I can't do that! She's already been through FLETC!"
"Right, and again, her scores were not impressive. She was barely better than average at most of it. She's a better shot now, thanks to you; that is, if we can trust her to even pull the trigger."
"That's enough!" Gibbs growled.
"No. It's not enough!" Tony said jumping up. "I. Don't. Trust. Her. You got that, Gibbs?! I don't. I won't go in the field with her. I don't want to be near her. She's not good enough to watch Ducky's and Gerald's six and she sure as hell isn't good enough to watch our sixes either!"
Tony grabbed his bag. "My transfer papers will be on your desk by morning." He stalked away toward the locker room door.
"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked, the echo loud in the cavernous locker room. When he was ignored, "Tony!"