One day at a time... that was all I could manage.

And even that felt unbearable.

I watched over the coming months how the world kept moving onwards, and I was staying in the past.

I felt like I had no one to talk to about my worries and fears, just the old bible and the minister Sullivan.

Though the former was more helpful than the latter.

I would sit on Jamie's bed, reading the passages of the heavy book. The old testament left a fear in my chest, as my heart bet rapidly at all the wars and devastation the people of ancient times had been through. But when I looked on the journey and trust the prophets had that this was really God they were talking to, it gave me hope that his words in the book would be my salvation.

I couldn't have been more right.

I found in the gospels a guideline to how to manage and cope in this world.

The only thing I was afraid of, was implementing the values and law of God in my everyday life.

I found as the months went by and December was just around the corner, that there was an air of hopefulness and life brought to the town while the weather changed for the worse.

I walked on the sandy beaches by myself and felt raindrops splash on me, as the waves sprayed water at my feet.

The wind was often heavy as December started off, and I held my arms tightly together to keep warm from the freezing weather.

As I approached Hegbert's house, very wet from my stroll, I saw he was talking to someone in the kitchen.

I figured it was over private matters, but when I passed the open door in the hallway, I saw the man was... Eric?

"Eric?" I said bewildered, and he turned from his seat, his arm hanging around it, to look at me, worry in his eyes.

"Landon," He said to me, and I looked at him expectantly.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk...?"

I looked at him even more confused, and Hegbert nodded to me as if indicating that what Eric needed to say was an important manner.

I zipped up my coat and followed my friend outside, the weather having gotten windier with drizzle filling up the air.

"So, what's up?" I asked him, nonchalantly. He looked at me, concerned, before replying.

"You never went to University..."

I remained silent for a moment, before replying, "It... just wasn't for me."

"How do you expect to survive with only a high school diploma?"

"Many people have," I said back, my voice still light and friendly, but I felt tense and a little annoyed at Eric's claim.

"But not very well off."

"Why should I even think of college." I snapped back suddenly and Eric pulled away at my yell, "I wouldn't be doing what I love, anyway. I'd probably end up in an office just filing away the days till I die."

"Is that any better than what you are doing here?"

I snapped when Eric said that.

I turned around and grabbed his shirt, pulling him towards as I growled, "What's the point of any of this? Make a rash decision and be stuck with it for the rest of my life."

"Better than being a homeless bum in the future!" Eric yelled at me, pushing me off him in rage.

I stumbled back and glared at my friend shouting, "No, you've go that reserved, don't ya?"

He snarled at me, and shook his head, only laughing, "Landon," He chuckled out, "Why are we even fighting over this when we know the truth?"

I watched him slowly as he strolled ahead of me, and I nervously followed.

"You have enough money to live comfortably and do whatever you want. So why are you not?"

I cleared my throat slightly and mumbled.

"I'm not going to use that evil man's money to advance a life that I don't even want."

"How do you know you don't want it when you've never even had it?"

I glared at me, biting my lip and turning my eyes down the ground. He stayed by my side and I mumbled.

"I can't take it..."

"Why?"

"It's wrong... she wouldn't have."

"She is gone-!"

Before Eric could finish his sentence I threw a clenched fist in his face and he stumbled back, as blood dribbled from his nose.

"LANDON?!" He shouted at me and looked into my eyes, his own ones hurt and in pain, "You have to at least try and move on."

"I... I can't," I whispered, tears in my eyes and Eric just let out a deep sigh. He looked at me silently for a few seconds, before walking ahead and leaving me on the muddy footpath.

I didn't follow him. Instead, I headed back to Hegbert's house and knocked on the door to be let in. He hadn't built up enough trust in me yet to let me have my own pair of keys.

I saw him walk slowly to the door, unlocking it and letting me in.

When I came in I immediately shouted in the air.

"So Eric thinks I'm wasting my life away!"

Hegbert only looked at me, a little surprised, but still grumpy.

"Saying that there's no future here!"

"Landon..."

"I just can't believe him!"

"Young man." Hegbert stated at me, and I turned around in an angry twist to look him in the eyes, "What you are doing is not living, it is only postponing."

"WHAT is it postponing?!" I yelled furiously, and he just shook his head gently, replying.

"What you know you must do with your life."

"But... I-I" I began, stammering to get my words out, "I want to do good... I only want to do good."

Hegbert barely nodded his head and looked at me. I just suddenly realized as I stared into his eyes... the path... I needed to go down.

"I... I want to be like you."

"And what does that indicate?"

"Priesthood..." I whispered under my breath, and Hegbert crooked his head, not hearing what I said.

"Speak up, young man."

"I want to be like you... a minister..."

"And why...?" He asked as if testing me to see my reason.

"Because... it feels..." I stopped talking for a moment, and he folded his arms, waiting for me.

"It feels... true."