Hegbert never woke up that morning.

I lay in my bed, just staring out ahead of me, as the morgue workers came and put him in a black body bag.

I didn't feel as sad as what I thought I would. It was all just... so sudden.

I soon found myself going through the motions. I stood ahead of everyone as I said his eulogy in the church.

I had to be honest... I almost didn't know what to say.

"Hegbert... was a good man..." I began, looking over at the casket, and closing my eyes softly, tears welling in them.

"He... was a man of God... and now he gets to be with him, and his family forever..." Tears streamed down cheeks then, and I blubbered out.

"He... he's with God now... and we, I should be happy. Because," I whimpered, in sadness, "Because he was a good person... and that's all one wants to be in this life. A good person."

I rubbed my eyes with my hand, feeling the hot tears slip down my arm and splash on the wood of the stand.

I looked ahead at the crowd of people that had come for his mass and saw my mother and father in the back of the church.

My mother was crying, my dad looking solemn, and I panicked a little inside, as I didn't want to associate with them here.

I nodded my head, coming down from the stand and sitting in the front row.

The minister that was giving the mass, got back up, and walked to the microphone, looking around at all the sad faces, and he said.

"May he rest in peace, with his wife and daughter."

"Amen..." I whispered out, while everyone else said the word in normal volume.

I watched as the casket was put in a hearse and saw the people leave the church, following by feet behind the big black car.

I was last to leave, and when I did step outside the building, I saw my mum and dad waiting for me in the crowd.

"Hello dad, mum..." I said quietly, looking at each of them, and nodded my head formerly.

"Are you ready to come home?" My dad asked me, and I glared at him, shaking my head.

"No."

"But why?" My dad asked, and I gave a sad smile.

"Because... it isn't my home any more."

"Landon," My mother peeped out, looking at me with tearful eyes, "How are you going to survive?"

"Where there's a will, there's a way..."

My mother trembled back a little, using a handkerchief to wipe her tears away, and my dad only sighed, muttering.

"You are so foolish in your youth..."

"Excuse me," I said coldly, and pushed past them, "I have a funeral I need to get too."

I walked away from them and joined the grieving crowd as they walked in slow steps behind the hearse.

~x~

Hegbert was buried in the family plot, next to his wife and daughter.

I stood there in the rain, realizing that Christmas was only two days away... and I had nowhere to go.

I looked at the newly engraved tombstone, my hands in my pocket. I could feel my wedding ring hold tight around my ring finger, and I only left out a deep sigh.

Almost desensitise from all the sadness and misfortune I had had over the last year.

I remembered when at Jamie's funeral, the comparison I had made between me and Job from the bible.

I only felt hollow...worthless.

As I turned my eyes up to the sky, all I saw was grey clouds, rain spilling across the area of Beaufort.

I felt someone approach my side, and they looked at the grave too, making a sad 'Tsh, tsh.' sound and saying in a deep voice.

"We'll be needing a new minister..."

"No one could replace him..." I replied, and the man placed his hand on my shoulder, making me flinch a little surprised.

"No one ordinary, but someone who has nothing to lose."

"Sir...?" I said and turned to look his direction, but he was gone from sight. I blinked puzzled, and looked down to the muddy ground, seeing his footprints were in the mud.

I quickly followed them, shivering from the cold, and I saw the footprints disappear just as I reached the cement path outside the gate of the graveyard.

I looked back behind me, to see if the prints led somewhere else, but the rain and mud had filled them up, and I groaned frustrated.

When I came home that day, turning on the light to the old Sullivan house, the light bulb flickered a little, and I sighed, just trying to get on with life.

There were no Christmas decorations in the home. I lit a few candles and watched them burn down the soft wax.

I lay on my back on the couch, just looking at the ceiling and the many spider webs on it. There was also some damp in the walls, and I knew it was up to me to fix this place up. Or else let it fall to ruins.

~x~

On Christmas Eve, I left the home and went to the orphanage, seeing the young children playing and having fun, no worries really to care about, and the freedom of youth.

I was only eighteen, but felt so much wiser over this year. Too wise too quickly I would have thought. I couldn't enjoy myself in my young age... there was so much I had to get a handle on.

"Thanks, Landon, for the help," the Orphans' guardian told me, in honesty, "Its' nice that Jamie's memory lives on with you."

"Barely..." I mumbled and he chuckled a little, as if not sensing my sad hidden interior.

"She would have been proud of you."

I was about to back answer that, but stopped, and thought about what this man was really saying.

Yes, Jamie would be proud of me, I knew that for certain. I turned to the older man and said.

"Is there anyone I could talk to about entering the clergy?"

"You thinking of life as a preacher?"

"I-" I replied, nervously, and just nodded my head hard, saying, "Yes. I want to be a minister..."

"Then you will have to get in contact with the seminary in the town over from here."

I smiled softly, and shook his hand tightly, saying, "Happy Christmas."

"And to you too."

I let go of him and waved goodbye to the orphans.

When I reached my home, I saw the door was opened, and I stiffened...fearful.

I pushed it opened a little more, stepping anxiously inside, and when I looked into the living room... I saw...

A Christmas tree all done up, with a ceramic angel on the top. And standing before the tree was that dark homeless man.

"You!" I shouted at him, and he turned to me. He smiled softly and asked.

"Me?"

"How did you get in?"

"The same way as you."

I slapped my hand to my forehead frustrated, and looked at him from the gaps between my fingers, "No, I mean... where'd you get the key?"

"When God closes a door, he opens a window."

"So you climbed in through the window?"

"If that's what you want to believe..."

"Who are you?" I demanded and he smiled gently to me. He reached out his hand, and I took hold of it as I shook his. When I looked down to his heavy hand, I swear I saw a hole in the side of it.

He let go of me, and said softly, "Merry Christmas..."

"Don't go..." I pleaded, and he smiled calm and collected. He said in a quiet voice, and I closed my eyes in pain, listening.

"I'm with you, forever... just believe, and trust..."

"Bring them back..." I whispered, and opened my eyes. He was gone, and outside I could hear a choir carolling as they gathered in a crowd.

Their voices were lively and full of hope and joy. I pulled back the curtain of the living room and watched the happy people sing.

"We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas,"

"And a happy new year..." I mumbled out to them.

~x~

I lay on my bed, looking up at the empty space above... and closed my eyes. I whispered,

"Happy Christmas..."

Falling into sleep.

And waking up... to a world full of new hope.