Got bored. Wrote this.

Yang

"So... what happens first?" I asked the supposed therapist. "I've never done something like this before."

The therapist gave what seemed to be a genuine smile and started walking towards her chair. It was just a simple arm chair in the middle of the room, upholstered in dark green leather. Near it was a similar colored chair that seemed to be a bit more cushioned. I assumed that one was where I was supposed to go and started towards it. It felt like it took minutes just to get to it as the therapist was silent the whole way. For a few seconds it was just some footsteps bouncing off the walls of an office meant to apparently help me.

When I made it to the chair and immediately started to sit down. The chair's cushion collapsed like it was trying to suck me in with a groan as the leather rubbed against itself. Once I had settled into it I noticed that the therapist was still standing and had an even bigger smile on her face.

"It seems to me..." Her hand gestured toward me. "..that you've already managed to make the first step yourself.

This already felt like a trick to me. "What do you mean? All I've done is sit down."

"Trust me, the hardest part of stuff like this is just simply getting the courage to not walk out before your appointment."

"I guess that makes sense. Granted, I'm here because some friends said that this was something I needed." Blake's worried voice crept into my brain.

The therapist nodded and finally sat down, making me a lot less nervous. She didn't let herself lean back against the chair's back. In fact, she leaned slightly forward as if she was taking a slightly better look at her TV screen. Her legs were still crossed as if some part of her was still bent on looking professional despite her loose, white, button up shirt being tucked into simple black jeans. Maybe I was just trying to find a reason to knock her but she didn't seem typical enough to me. The only thing that she had from my randomly guessed version of a therapist was her brunette hair, cut short into a bob cut.

Overall, she seemed satisfied with my reasoning. She took a second to open a manila folder with only one one sheet of paper in it. For the one second I was able to see it, it just seemed like a copy of the information sheet that I had filled out in the waiting room. It was quickly covered up though by some sheets of notebook paper that she placed on top of the first sheet. She pulled out a pen that was apparently clipped inside her shirt's sleeve and wrote a few words inside the folder.

She clipped her pen back into her sleeve and closed the file. "Well it's a good thing you have friends like that. If they keep it up you may not even need me that long." A small chuckle sneaked out of her mouth. "But until then, we'll see what we can accomplish on our end. Sound good to you?" That honest smile didn't waver one bit. "Though I guess I can help out for today. My name is Sarah Shamford."

It took a second to take the cue she set for me. "I'm Yang Xiao Long, but didn't you already know that? From the file and all." I pointed to her hands.

Sarah set the file on the arm of her chair. "Well I've read part of the information but I prefer to do proper introductions so everything is on even ground when we first meet."

"Well besides the fact that you're being paid to be here." My smart mouth showing itself.

"You made the decision to come here, Yang. I don't go to my patients." Sarah said. "Heck, if you leave right now I'll just refund everything like it never happened. Well?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I've got to be here."

"Why is that, Yang?" Sarah asked. Her forward lean suddenly starting to come back.

I sighed. "Things.. have been kind off for me lately."

"What does 'off' mean?"

"Like, having what I think are something like an anxiety or panic attack? I don't know. I get stuck in some state where it feels like everything is closing in on me." Sarah was already writing in my file again. "I hate them and the only way I've been able to break out them were through these." I showed her my arm the had most of the burns on them. Concern showed on Sarah's face when she noticed them. She reached out and gently grabbed my hand to turn my arm so she could see it better. I didn't expect it and nearly pulled my arm away I guess she knew that because she didn't hold on too long.

She looked me clearly in the eyes. "You did these to yourself?" I nodded my head and she wrote some more. "I can't tell you to do anything as that's not why I'm here, but I would like to say that I can't condone this behavior."

Guilt seeped into my gut. "I was in my truck when one started and I just wanted it to stop."

"So you resort to burning yourself?" She asked.

"It was just something that worked. It's not like it hurt that much. It ju.."

"I'm stopping you there. You're hurting yourself. Don't you think it sounds odd saying that burning yourself is helping you?" Sarah probed.

I nodded slightly. "I know. Even my friends weren't exactly thrilled about it."

"So they know about the self-harm? Did you tell them about it or did they randomly find out about it?" It seemed she was finally getting into the details.

"They found out about them after I had a breakdown driving home. I don't remember much though." I've definitely tried to forget it at least.

Sarah seemed interested though. "Can you try retelling some of the events at least. I feel like it would be important for me to hear this so I can offer the best help I can. If you don't mind, obviously."

I sighed. "I'll give it a shot. I'd rather not relive it but if you think it'll help then I guess its worth a try." I steeled myself for the memories to come back and hoped that I would be able to handle it.