Bet you can't believe I'm updating so soon, yeah me neither, Today I'm diving straight in to the chapter. Long rambling authors note at the bottom if you care to read it.
Reviewers: I love you all, thanks so much for sticking around after I keep seemingly abandoning you. I promise I'll get you your ending and I'm trying to make more time to write!
Rating: High-T as my language here gets a little heavy.
Disclaimer: Songs used are not mine. I own nothing except for a new bottle of Ritual vitamins that I'm already in love with. Who knew a mint scent could make taking a vitamin more pleasurable?!
To my beta kosoul7: Thanks so much as always for the awesome work editing for me especially after the MANY months break I took. Also huge thanks for the chapter title!
Chapter 26:
In vino veritas (in wine, truth)
Austin finished showering and wrapped the towel around his waist. He smiled as he heard her giggling on the other side of the door; giggling wasn't exactly a regular occurrence for Blair Waldorf. On a typical morning, he'd go right to the guest room but this morning—hearing her laugh like that—he wanted to see her.
It had been a little over a week since Blair had asked him to stay with her and he desperately wanted her to ask him again. At the same time, he wanted to give her space; she'd been clear with him how mixed up all her emotions were. Swinging open the door he smiled at her lying on the bed, clearly texting with someone. "Good morning gorgeous," he spoke, a charming smile on his face.
Blair looked up at Austin standing in her doorway and smiled brightly. God sometimes she forgot how beautiful he was. For a moment just looking at him distracted her. "Hi there," she spoke, setting down her phone and propping herself up on her elbows.
"Hi yourself," he laughed, walking over to the bed. He leaned forwards and placed a quick kiss on her lips, noticing the way she arched into him. Pulling back he smiled down at her. "What's got you in such a good mood this morning? I could hear you giggling from the bathroom."
She leaned up, giving his lips another quick kiss before relaxing back into her position on the bed. "Don't get me wet, I already dried my hair." She laughed, knowing that she'd been the one to initiate the second kiss. "And I don't giggle."
"You most certainly were." He spoke, cocking his eyebrow at her before shaking a bit of the water still on his hair onto her; avoiding her hair of course. She swatted at him as he lay down on her bed, lying on his stomach using his elbows to prop himself up.
Blair rolled her eyes, still unable to keep a smile off her face. Things with Austin were always so easy. "Serena, Steph and I are doing a girls' night tonight. Unlimited Sushi/Sake plus Karaoke. I'm a little bit excited I guess."
"Sounds like fun." It was obvious to him that she was more than a little excited, he was happy to see her so happy. Lying there, gazing at her he couldn't get over how right everything was starting to feel again. Just as he was about to remind her that his flight to Charleston was that night her phone rang.
Blair looked down and rolled her eyes. "It's Serena, I should get this."
"Of course." He responded with a quick nod.
Watching his wet curls lop to the side as he nodded his head, Blair couldn't help but reach out and tousle his hair before answering her phone. "What's up S? Change in plans for tonight? Blair asked, knowing that was probably the only reason Serena would call when they'd already been texting.
"Not exactly." Serena replied, a hint of anxiety in her tone.
Blair could hear it in her voice, she knew without asking what Serena had done. Austin was still observing her, so she knew she should moderate her reaction. At the same time, she was not about to make this easy on Serena. "Well…"
Serena exhaled, knowing she should proceed with caution on this topic. "Sooooo, I ran into Gwen and our plans for tonight came up and I felt bad…"
Blair withheld her groan as Serena babbled. She'd been right, of course she'd been right. "Tell me you didn't."
"I did, I'm sorry." Serena replied quickly, closing her eyes tightly, ready for Blair to let her have it.
Exhaling Blair shook her head looking over to meet Austin's gaze. She could see his brow was furrowed in concern. "It's fine, I'll deal with it. In truth if she wasn't…you know I wouldn't even care."
Austin tilted his head, catching Blair's gaze. "What's going on?" He mouthed to her, reaching forwards and taking her hand in his, tracing his finger absentmindedly along the top of her hand.
Blair shrugged, waving him off with her hand that held the phone. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." She spoke away from the phone. She was in a good mood, she was having an excellent morning, she was not going to let this ruin it. Losing herself in the tingles up her arm Austin's fingers were causing as he continued to trace hers, she almost forgot she was still on the call until Serena's voice cut in again.
"Oh, I just got a text from Steph. Apparently, they found a sitter for tonight and Dan wants to come too," she spoke excitedly. Maybe the larger the group, the less anxious Blair would be.
Blair rolled her eyes, she could see where this was going a mile away. "Whatever."
Serena could practically hear Blair rolling her eyes. "I'm with Nate, he says he's in too. Sounds like this is turning into a big group thing."
"You mean a couples thing." Blair supplied with a groan. "Give me a sec." She said into the phone before looking back to Austin.
Austin frowned, he could see Blair's earlier good mood slipping away at a rapid pace and hated it.
"What time's your flight out tonight?" Blair asked, her mouth twisting into an almost smirk.
Again Austin's brow furrowed. "Not until late. Like 11pm I think."
Blair nodded before returning to her call. "Good to go here. Let Gwen know, okay."
"Not a problem." Serena spoke quickly, a little surprised at Blair's lack of resistance. She wondered to herself if Austin was with her, she'd mentioned earlier while they were texting that she was lying on her bed but as far as Serena knew Austin was still sleeping in her old room. Before she could ask, Blair's voice cut through.
"And S…I'm going to need a lot of alcohol." Blair added, a small smile on her face.
Serena smiled. "You got it."
Hanging up, Blair looked to Austin. "Hope you're okay with joining for sushi and sake tonight."
Austin raised his brows in surprise. Flipping her hand so her palm was facing up, he continued tracing his fingers along her skin. "Do you want me to change my flight? I can fly out in the morning instead."
Blair shook her head. "Not unless you want to. I figured we'd just stash your rollerboard at the restaurant and you could leave from there."
"Works for me." He spoke, bringing her hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss on her palm.
Blair couldn't help but flush as his lips touched her skin. Her heartbeat grew in volume until it seemed to thunder through her body as his lips continued to press against her palm. Twisting her hand quickly, she wrapped it around his wrist and pulled him into her.
Austin of course acquiesced Blair's unspoken request, practically throwing himself forward against her with her pull. His lips held back for just a moment before crashing into hers. Leaving his side his hands thrust into her hair, pulling her tighter against him.
Blair arched her back, running her hand down his ribcage until it landed on his hip. Fingering his towel, she looked up to him with hooded eyes. "I know I said I'm not ready." She felt him freeze over her, practically holding his breath waiting for her to continue. She saw the spark light his eyes and felt his hardness against her hip. "I'm still not." She added quickly.
He tried to keep the disappointment from his gaze –he'd wait forever for her, this wasn't about that–but he knew he probably failed.
Blair smirked at him reassuringly catching his gaze before sliding her hand underneath his towel. "I'm just saying that there are so many other things I'm ready for. Many. Things."
Austin inhaled sharply as her hand touched his length and found a smirk of his own sliding onto his face. He knew his voice was raspy with need when he finally answered her. Leaning close to her ear he whispered, "Happy to oblige, darling. Happy to oblige."
"Sake, sake, sake, BOMB!" Blair chanted, laughing as she slammed her hands on the table. She watched as the sake dropped into their glasses and splashed across the table, grabbing her drink the moment the coast was clear to slam it back. "DONE!" She shouted as she slapped her cup down, lifting her hands clear of the table.
Dan's head snapped to her so quickly, his own cup couldn't keep up sending his beer/sake mixture sloshing down his shirt. "What?!"
Across the table, Nate's eyebrows rose as he finished his own drink. "Did you cheat? You totally cheated right?" He asked, feeling the buzz from the sake they'd already been drinking, knowing this one would go straight to his head. "More of your drink must have been on the table instead of in your cup."
Serena looked around wide-eyed as she and the rest of the table were still finishing their drinks. She noticed everyone looking curiously at Blair, even Chuck who'd been conspicuously avoiding this end of the table since they'd been seated. She wasn't sure what was going on there. The last time she'd been around them was the engagement party, but things had seemed fine…almost normal since. Blair was trying to be happy with Austin – maybe even succeeding – even if Dan did think she was miserable. That did nothing to explain Chuck's reactions though; he was being stranger than usual.
Austin laughed, slinging his arm along the back of the booth behind Blair, smiling down at her and shaking his head. "She didn't cheat."
"You have to say that, she's your fiancé," Gwen spoke, adding her own voice to the chorus of surprised friends.
Again Serena found herself watching Chuck so intently that she couldn't be sure she was the only one who saw the tightening of the skin around his eyes when Gwen had pointed out the new engagement at the table. But it was more than that, something had seemed to flash in his gaze, something primal that almost made Serena flinch herself.
Blair just shrugged, a smirk on her face as she looked at her friends. "Want me to prove it?" She asked reaching a hand out to finger the pitcher of beer, tugging it towards her.
"Oh hell no." Dan interjected. "I need at least 10 min before we do another one of those."
Steph rolled her eyes. "Baby doesn't hold his beer well. I'll do another with you. Mano y mano." She added with bravado. "The benefits of not nursing."
Dan shook his head. "How is it that my wife, who's 100 pounds soaking wet, can drink me under the table?"
Serena snorted with laughter, looking up to see Gwen meeting her gaze and shaking her head furtively. Serena gave a quick nod of agreement, neither of them wanted anything to do with this race.
Catching the exchange Nate lifted his eyebrows. "Did you ladies want to join?"
Rolling her lips Gwen put on a sloppy smile. "And ruin the uh 'mano y mano'? We wouldn't dream of it."
Blair's smirk turned into a smile as Austin pulled her hair back with the hair tie he took from her wrist, before placing his hands on her shoulders; prepping her like a coach does his boxer. "Let's do this Astor." She said with a grin.
This time, even Chuck's gaze was locked on the girls as the set up their next round of sake bombs. He'd been avoiding making eye contact with Blair all night. He hadn't seen her since his engagement party, hell they hadn't even spoken, and he knew there would be awkwardness. This group party setting was just not the time or the place to air out the tension but at the same time, he definitely didn't trust himself to be alone with her yet. So, he'd been playing it safe, talking to the middle of the table and only engaging in group conversations. He'd been successful so far, fairly certain that only Nate would pick up on it and only because Chuck knew he'd be keeping a close eye on them after what he'd walked in on.
"Count us down, S?" Blair asked, placing her shot of sake carefully on top of the chopsticks.
Serena was torn, she wanted to keep an eye on Chuck's reactions but still she answered Blair's summons with a nod. "On the count of three." She said, getting confirmation from both women that they were ready. "One…Two…Three."
"SAKE, SAKE, SAKE, BOMB!" Everyone chanted again, though this time it was only Blair and Steph slamming their hands onto the table and racing to down their drinks.
Chuck swallowed tightly as he watched her, careful not to actually let his mouth drop open the way she practically inhaled her drink. Watching her toss it back like that had his pants tightening uncomfortably but he couldn't look away with everyone watching her, that would be too obvious. That wasn't the only reason he didn't avert his gaze, it was however the one he was going with.
Blair's cup was down, and her arms extended into a shrug a full 4 seconds before Steph finished. "Any questions?" She taunted, a smirk on her face.
Gwen blinked back her surprise. She grew up in the south and could shotgun a beer as well as the next Southern Girl but that was next level. "Wow, Waldorf I must say I'm impressed." She frowned slightly as her phone buzzed in her lap but motioned for them to continue as she picked it up.
Chuck couldn't hold back the involuntary flinch that seemed to tighten every muscle in his body. Victrola. His father. Him. Blair. No one would know Gwen's statement would affect him, no one but Blair. So similar to those words she'd said to him the day he'd pitched Victrola to Bart. But based on the look now on Dan's face, he had a feeling someone had at least noticed his reaction.
"Damn." Nate exclaimed with a shake of the head. "When did you learn to do that Blair?" Sure he'd heard from Serena that she'd upped her party game in college but this was still Blair and that was not very Blair-like.
Austin chuckled lightly, running his fingers through her curls as he loosened her hair back down from the hair tie. "You think that's impressive? You should see what she can do with a beer bong. I'm sure I still have that senior spring break video somewhere." He added with a wink as Blair smacked his shoulder a little harder than was necessarily playful. Though looking down at her he could tell she wasn't actually angry.
"Who are you and what have you done with Blair Waldorf?" Nate asked shaking his head, unable to hide a laugh of his own. He couldn't help but remember saying that to her once before on the day of their Cotillion. She'd been so uncharacteristically happy and carefree that day; now of course he knew it had been because of Chuck. Remembering his friend at the other end of the table, he couldn't help but turn towards him and ask. "Did you know she could do this?"
It wasn't until the words were out of his mouth that Nate realized what he'd done. Chuck and Blair had been almost studiously angling away from each other all night. And here he was engaging them in direct conversation, implying that Chuck knew her better than anyone.
There was a beat of silence brought on by surprise but Chuck held his face steady, tilted down into his beverage so they didn't see it. Looking up he smirked as though he were in on the joke, Blair was probably the only one who would notice the glint was missing from his gaze. "You've always been able to knock back your liquor. I have to say I'm a little surprised that extends to beer – I suppose you've gotten over the taste?" When he looked to her though he was taken aback to realize she wasn't looking at him, at least not directly. Of course, he'd been avoiding looking at her all night; it looked now as though she was doing the same. Maybe she'd been doing that since they'd gotten there as well.
At the thought he felt an uncomfortable feeling wash over him. First he thought he was just surprised that she couldn't meet his gaze, even when he directed an innocuous compliment her way. But it was only a moment before he recognized the tale tell signs of anger tinting his vision. Yeah, he was irritated she wasn't looking at him, irritated she wasn't bold enough.
Shocked he'd addressed her directly, Blair inclined her head towards him. When she couldn't avoid him any longer without it being awkward she focused her eyes to his right ear. No one but Chuck would even know she wasn't meeting his gaze and she was sure he wouldn't mind as he'd been avoiding her's all night. "Thanks for the vote of confidence." She spoke with a laugh before leaning her head into Austin's shoulder where his arm still rested around the back of their booth. She might be adept at drinking but that last sake bomb was hitting her quickly. "Whew." She spoke softly so only Austin could hear her.
"You okay?" Austin asked, voice filling with concern as he tilted his head towards hers. He knew she could hold her alcohol but they hadn't exactly been sober and two sake bombs in a row was a lot for her tiny frame.
Blair nodded, lazily meeting his gaze. "I'll be okay, I just need a minute." She smiled at him, tilting her head up to place a quick kiss on his lips. "Thanks."
Serena was careful not to be too obvious but she couldn't help flicking her eyes between Blair and Chuck. She wasn't sure who they thought they were fooling, except maybe Gwen and Austin. They were definitely being weird, oscillating between ignoring each other and glaring at each other. Well, Blair was ignoring and Chuck had settled on the glaring.
Dan could feel tension building with Blair's unfocused attentions a complete reversal of Chuck's staring and knew he had to do something to diffuse the situation. Looking to Steph he smiled brightly at his wife. "You know that was quite impressive."
Steph laughed, she knew what Dan was doing, it was clear he wanted to divert attention from the car wreck waiting to happen between Chuck and Blair. She had to assume they weren't being quite as obvious as she thought they were or Austin and Gwen would have picked up on it themselves; or at least Gwen would if she wasn't constantly staring down at her phone tonight. "Not as impressive as you guys' rendition of Baby Got Back earlier."
Gwen laughed dropping her phone back in her lap. She leaned forwards, her elbow on the table and her chin resting on her hand. "Oh my god that was seriously…just wow." She spoke shaking her head. Looking between Nate, Dan, and finally Chuck she smiled. "How have I never seen that before?"
Serena rolled her eyes, getting caught up in the wave of conversation. "Oh you'll get tired of it eventually. Nate and Chuck have been doing that for as long as I can remember. Dan added himself to their duet back in college which pretty much just guarantees they'll do it at every karaoke until the end of time."
"Disagree!" Steph interjected, waving her arm about. "I've been watching it for years and I'm always thoroughly entertained."
Looking to Austin, Nate grinned, beyond glad that there was finally a conversation that didn't feel like a ticking time bomb. "You were quite the welcome addition tonight."
"A natural fit." Dan added, smiling, noticing that even Chuck stopped glaring at Blair for a moment to give a nod of agreement.
"It's true," Chuck spoke with a smirk, tilting his drink towards Austin.
Austin just gave a small half smile, pressing his palm to the table. "Please I was back-up at best. I have nothing on your greatness." He added with a sweep of his arms and an incline of his head.
Blair smiled at Austin's mock bow. She'd been having fun all night but she could feel herself starting to pull away. She'd done all she could to keep herself focused on Austin, hoping the renewed feelings there would eclipse Chuck's presence. It had worked for a while but she was getting tired. The effort to not look at him, no matter how much he avoided her or focused on her, was starting to wear her down and it was getting harder to put on the "Blair Show." Honestly it was easiest to just lean into the drunkenness to avoid it all.
The conversation rolled onwards and Blair took another sip of her drink. Maybe if she were just a little drunker she wouldn't feel like she was going to crawl out of her own skin. At this point she could practically feel Chuck's eyes on her, causing a flush to rise up her cheeks; his gaze was still angry and fighting it was exhausting.
Chuck watched as Blair took a long drag on her drink in his periphery and couldn't help but mirror her. He was trying to focus back on Gwen, or at least on the conversation around them as Gwen was becoming somewhat entranced by her work phone. Noticing her check it for the fifth time he leaned towards her. "Everything okay?" He asked, nodding his head to her phone.
Gwen looked up from her phone slightly startled before frowning. "Sorry, it's just this work thing with the Southeast Asia position is driving me crazy."
Chuck's brow furrowed. "That's still a thing? I thought you landed on a candidate."
Lips pursed together, Gwen looked directly into Chuck's warm brown eyes, hers' narrowing ever so slightly as her brow matched his. "I thought so too. Apparently, I was wrong."
"We can go if you need to handle something." Chuck spoke, trying to be earnest enough that she knew he meant it but not so earnest that it looked like he wanted to get out of there. He reached out and placed his hand on hers, his eyes still firmly connected. There was a moment that it almost felt like she was trying to tell him something, but the connection was faulty, like a TV with bad reception. Just as he was about to ask he heard what could only be a mistake over the microphone.
"BLAIR. BLAIR WALDORF."
Clenching her eyes tightly together, Blair froze. For a moment, she tried to block everything out, aware the sounds around her were becoming muffled, running together. When her friends started jostling her, she opened her eyes, immediately searching the innocent eyes of her friends before landing on Serena's much less innocent face. "S, you've got to be kidding me."
Serena smiled brightly, eyes lighting with a certain mischievousness. "Come on B, when was the last time any of us actually heard you sing?"
"I sang 'Hold On' with all of you earlier." She said, gesturing to the girls.
"BLAIR WALDORF?"
Steph shook her head. "That doesn't count Blair. All four of us sang it."
"Do it, do it, do it." The whole table began to chant, the one on either side of them picking it up as well.
Placing a hand to her head, she halfway covered her face. "Wait, what would I even be singing?"
"LAST CALL FOR BLAIR WALDORF."
"She's coming!" Serena squealed, seeing Blair cave. "It's a Fortune Cookieoke."
"I hate you." Blair spoke before rising to her feet.
Austin grabbed her arm smiling. "You're really doing this?" He asked eyes wide.
Blair exhaled. "I guess I am."
His hand slipped down her arm until it was locked with hers, his eyes grazing over the watch on his wrist. "I have to leave in 5 min for the airport but I'll stay as long as I can. You okay getting home?"
She grinned, squeezing his hand before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss on his lips. "I'll be fine." Standing, she gestured to the impatient Asian man with the mike that she was indeed coming and started her walk to the front.
"Who's going to explain to me what a Fortune Cookieoke is?" Austin asked, looking to her friends, who were now practically giddy with excitement.
Serena smiled broadly, clasping her hands together on the table. "It means you open a fortune cookie from a jar and the song that's in it is what you sing. Only the top 40 karaoke songs of the year are in there though."
Again, Austin found himself looking around a bit confused. All her friends were so excited they couldn't sit still, all he could think was that this was either about to be a disaster or Blair was really really good and he couldn't picture her agreeing to humiliate herself, this was still Blair. "I take it Blair's quite the singer."
Everyone's head jerked quickly to Austin, except for Gwen who was once more staring at her phone.
Dan was the first to find words as he shook his head. "You've never heard Blair sing?" He gaped.
Perplexed Nate furrowed his brow. "She sings literally all the time, without thinking about it, sometimes loudly, like when she's in the shower."
Austin shook his head slightly. "I mean, I know she can carry a tune; but no, I don't remember ever hearing her do more than sing softly to herself."
Chuck's head tilted towards Austin and he couldn't help the frown he knew was tugging down at the corner of his mouth. Singing was so much a part of his Blair. Nate wasn't wrong, she did it all the time. He knew she hadn't been writing lately but hearing that she hadn't been singing…it made him more uncomfortable than he was willing to admit.
Serena once more looked between Chuck and Austin. She knew this time where Chuck's brain was and couldn't help but go there herself. How was it possible that Austin hadn't heard Blair sing? Just as she was about to say more she heard Blair scoff into the microphone. It echoed strangely as though she wasn't trying to speak into it. It sounded like she was telling the man no.
Blair frowned and shook her head at the man in front of her. "I can't sing that."
The man shrugged his shoulders. "It's the cookie you picked."
"I don't care. Pick something else." She scoffed.
"Rules of the game." He said clicking the numbers on the remote and moving away.
Blair shook her head. "I said no!" But she knew it was too late. The song had loaded and it would be worse if she made a scene. Shooting Serena a panicked look she held the mic by her mouth and took a deep breath.
Serena looked around the table, her confused look mirrored all around. "Apparently she's not happy with the draw." Even as she said it though, she had to hold in the slightest of smirks.
Blair's heart was pounding as she took the mic in her hand. She was fighting the trembling that threatened to overtake her. This wasn't just nerves this was fear. Chuck's reaction to her singing this song wouldn't be good, especially with the way he'd been glaring at her all night. Either he'd have no reaction which would absolutely crush her, or he'd make a scene which would ruin everything else. They were already walking such a precarious line, this was the last thing any of them needed.
Her eyes landed on Serena who looked both confused and worried but as the notes began she thought maybe, just maybe she saw Serena smirk. Blair could see from the looks at the table that no one else understood yet, no one recognized the song from the opening chords. The only person she thought might was the one person she refused to look at. When it was time to sing she did the only thing she could do. She opened her mouth and let go.
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Nate heard the first lines of the song and panicked. His eyes found Dan's before both of their heads snapped to Chuck.
She wouldn't look at him; she would look anywhere but at him. Blair thought as the words slipped from her lips effortlessly. She didn't want to think about what she was singing; she didn't want to give herself even a moment to feel the song, so she tried to remain as detached as possible.
"Oh god." Dan spoke looking back to Nate and shaking his head. Austin was fixated on Blair singing and Gwen seemed distracted. It was obvious that neither of them understood what effect Blair singing this would have on Chuck. Serena and Nate on the other hand were now exchanging worried looks and Steph had taken hold of his hand. Chuck on the other hand was a statue, his eyes blazing unblinkingly, they failed to leave Blair's form for even a moment.
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
Blair turned her head away from the mic for the brief pause because she didn't want everyone to hear the sharp intake of breath she needed to take. She couldn't help the way the words were invading her subconscious as she sang. The lyrics were all too familiar to her…to those first weeks when they returned from Tuscany. In her pause she was all too aware of Chuck's unwavering gaze. The anger of it was crashing against her, sending unwelcome chills down her spine.
Serena looked back and forth between Chuck and Blair, noticing that as Blair artfully avoiding looking at Chuck, he was just as devoted in staring her down. It was like their earlier display at the table on a much larger scale. Nate gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, his eyes warily looking at Chuck.
Steph leaned her head toward Dan bringing her lips to his ear. "What's going on?"
Dan pressed his lips together before meeting Steph's interested gaze and hissing lowly. "This isn't going to end well."
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
Blair could feel something building in her that she didn't quite understand. She couldn't identify the emotion she felt and yet it was beginning to take over. At the same time, she could clearly feel everyone else's emotions washing towards her in waves. Her eyes were moved around the table as she sang, Gwen was distracted, Austin was smiling, and she knew the looks of worry coming from Dan, Steph, Serena, and Nate. What concerned her were the glances that kept landing in Chuck's direction by the rest of the table. She could still feel the heat coming from him – scalding her from across the room, drawing her gaze towards him like a magnet, but she forced her gaze to slide over him without looking at his face.
Chuck's hands were clenched together so tightly that he knew he was quite possibly drawing blood from his palms but he didn't care. Right then he would do anything to feel something other than the anger and pain that was wracking his body. But he was frozen in that moment, unable to tear his gaze away, unable to plug his ears, unable to leave. Instead the words she was singing were echoing through him.
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over
Gwen turned her head slightly angling so that Chuck could hear her as the first verse was almost over. "Wow, she is really good." She expected some kind of response and was surprised to be met with silence. She could see from her new angle the looks on Serena and Nate's faces, looks that made it clear that Chuck was behaving strangely. "Chuck?" She questioned as she turned her head further. She reached forwards to touch his elbow, shocked at the look frozen on his face, she'd never seen him so clearly display rage.
Blair was practically shaking from the emotions crashing through her as she finished the verse, but she still wasn't looking at Chuck even if his eyes hadn't left her. No, it wasn't until she saw Gwen place a hand on Chuck's elbow and for just a fraction of a second she lost the intensity of his gaze that she was able to become to devote enough attention to herself to recognize the full power of her feelings. As her emotions slammed into her, they seemed to coalesce into an overwhelming sensation, one that took her completely by surprise. Everything that had happened, everything they'd done to each other over the past few months, the way Chuck had reacted to her coming back when he didn't even know the full story and that she hadn't corrected him seemed to join together bringing forth an abject fury that she didn't know she was holding onto. And once that had happened, her eyes, eyes that had been drawn to him since she started singing, snapped to Chuck's. The weight of her anger too powerful to resist, she gave in to it, no longer caring who might be there to witness it.
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough
Chuck felt the change in the air before anything else. Gwen had drawn his gaze away from Blair but the moment the chorus kicked in, he knew. It was evident as Blair belted the first words of the chorus, he could feel it all the way to his bones and his eyes snapped to the chocolate brown ones that were now staring holes through his skull. He barely registered that Gwen's phone went off and she excused herself, walking out the side door of the restaurant to take the call.
Blair could feel the songs' words as though they were her own and she knew she was singing them to Chuck as she let go of every ounce of pain and anger that she'd been carrying with her. Yes, things had ended badly with them; but he was the one who refused to acknowledge their past and it was his refusal that was standing between them now. He wasn't letting himself feel what they had and it was ruining them both.
"Shit." Nate muttered quietly beneath his breath as he watched the display that had begun between his two oldest friends. Austin's head turned toward Nate and he frowned in confusion. But Nate simply shook his head and averted his gaze. He wasn't dealing with Blair's fucking fiancé right now; of all the things, that was so not his problem.
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Blair's heart jerked as though it were trying to leave her chest. The air in the room began to hum with the electricity of their gazes locked on one another. Her heart was pounding as the words poured from her lips and she could almost feel Chuck's heart doing the same all the way across the room…almost like it were calling to her. So she gripped the microphone as though her life depended on it and she stared him down.
Chuck knew that his face didn't betray anything, but those that really knew him could see that his eyes betrayed everything. And right now the anger he felt at Blair at her audacity to sing this song, at this whole entire fucked up situation, was enough to make him tremble.
The rest of the table looked away uncomfortably, they knew with the exception of Gwen and Austin the former of whom wasn't even at the table anymore. They all knew what was coming. They could see it, they could feel it, and the moment that it happened it was like a shot ringing out.
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Chuck felt the tremors being in his hands as a fiery anger swept through him. How could she stand there singing this song to him as though he was the one who had cut her out? When she'd come back he'd wanted nothing more to do with her but SHE was the one who'd left, SHE was the one who'd changed her number, SHE abandoned HIM.
As the interlude began Chuck's fury grew so strong that he couldn't sit there doing nothing anymore. So without any form of conscious consent he felt himself push back from the table and stand. He was vaguely aware of the shocked look on Austin's face and the not-so-shocked stares of the rest of their friends but none of that stopped him as he walked forwards. He grabbed a mic from the confused Asian man and walked onto the stage until he was facing Blair who looked like she might pass out from shock.
Blair had known the moment he stood what was about to happen and in that moment as he mounted the stage she was almost scared. The fury in his eyes in that instant was stronger than anything she'd ever seen from him. If she didn't know he would never physically hurt her she would have run. Yet as he came to stand just a few feet from her she took an unconscious step back and allowed the hand holding her mic to drop.
Chuck faced Blair as he sang. It didn't matter what anyone else saw or thought, all that mattered was that she understood his message. He knew that each word was infused with every ounce of anger he felt over her leaving; but he could also feel his own special brand of cruelty slipping in. He narrowed his gaze at her as though telling her to remember because he sure as hell did.
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
Blair tilted her head and gave him a crooked closed lip smile, her eyebrows lifting as she read his expression. Fine, he could read one of hers, she thought as she gave the slightest shake of her head saying that they'd both screwed up. She couldn't help but feel like he was some kind of snake about to strike and she knew she was taunting him.
Dan watched the saga playing out on stage, wondering who else at the table was picking up on the intricacies of the exchange. He couldn't quite read them but he knew them both well enough to know that they were having a conversation not just through the lyrics but a nonverbal exchange as well. Looking towards Steph he mouthed two words before turning back. "Told you."
Chuck's nostrils flared as he took a swaggering step forward singing his next lyrics. He felt like a predator moving in as he sang words that couldn't be more true for him. He couldn't go back, he couldn't spend his life wondering whether or not she'd leave him, whether or not she loved him, whether or not it was the last time he'd kiss her, the last time he'd feel her beneath him, the last time . . . NO he wouldn't go back there where he had to wonder what her words really meant because he didn't know anymore.
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
Blair could feel it like a fist clenching around her heart, she could feel his pain like it was her own and it was. When he hurt she hurt. Swallowing tightly she turned her head ever so slightly to the side, unable to look at him. It hurt too much to see his eyes.
Reaching forwards Chuck placed one finger on the side of her chin turning her head back to face him; she didn't get to look away as he filled the words with a sincerity that he didn't know that he could feel for Blair anymore. She'd led him to believe it so many times that he was the one; that everything that had happened had been forgiven when it had all been a lie. And she'd left him time and time again for someone else; even now when she swore she was here for him, the moment she thought she'd lost him she went right back to Austin. She was a liar.
You said that you could let it go
Blair felt as though she were melting into him, as though he were wrecking her all over again with the words he was singing and she knew, she knew that at least this much was true.
With one final step forwards Chuck forced himself into her personal space as he sang the last line of the second verse. The words were practically ripped from his chest as shouted everything he was feeling.
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know
Blair could feel his unabashed fury and in response she jerked her microphone to her lips and sang with everything she had. Yes, she'd left him but just as the song said, he didn't have to be like this, he didn't have to pretend that they'd never existed.
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
But Chuck wasn't letting her take back control of this discussion, argument, song whatever the hell it was and he cut back in after only two lines saying words he knew would rip her to shreds.
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough
Serena's hands were shaking as she watched Chuck and Blair tear each other apart on stage in front of everyone. These people probably all just thought that it was a passionate performance; that they were in character, there was no way to know if anyone else even realized that this wasn't acting.
Blair's voice was powerful as she pushed through with the next line, so angry at him, so completely devastatingly angry that he didn't see how much it had killed her for him to just cut her out, how low she thought it was that he'd done everything in his power to push her away. They had been married and yes, she'd ended it but he shouldn't have treated her like he had when she'd come back to New York.
And you didn't have to stoop so low
Chuck cut back in because it was her who'd sent Serena to collect her things from his apartment after she left him, after she'd walked out on their marriage. She was the one who'd changed her cell phone number after the Hamptons.
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
Leaning forwards, Austin got Serena's attention. "They do this song, huh? Like the guys do 'Baby Got Back?' That's why she was so reluctant when she found out what the song was."
Serena nodded her head uncertainly. It wasn't true, she'd never seen Chuck and Blair do this song before, but she had to help Blair out with this one, even if she thought Blair was making a mistake.
I guess that I don't need that though
Each of them were so angry that as the last line of the chorus approached they were only inches apart, both belting the lyric with everything they had left inside of them. Every emotion that they'd been forcing inside over the past months–hell over the past years–seemed to be rushing forward and slamming into the other.
Austin nodded at Serena. "Let her know that I understand, that I trust her, and that I'll call her from the airport but I have to go or I'm going to miss my flight."
Looking into his warm eyes, for once she got it. Austin really did understand. Blair must have told him things Serena assumed she hadn't; maybe things she hadn't even told her. A jolt passed through her as she nodded again. Her best friend really was trying to make this work if she was being this kind of honest.
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Blair could feel herself shaking as the outpouring of emotion seemed to leave her completely raw, filled with an emptiness she hadn't known in so long. It wasn't quite pain, but it was something close.
Chuck was practically snarling as he began to walk around her, his eyes never leaving her form as he sang the lead vocal leaving her with the echo.
Somebody (I used to know)
Somebody (Now you're just somebody that I used to know)
Blair's voice was trembling as she sang the lines; she could feel it as it came close to cracking. She could feel the first sting of tears at the back of her throat and tried to push through but it was too much. It was all too much.
Chuck finished circling her as the music came near its end. He was still close to her, though not the inches apart he'd been before. His emotions were still rushing within him, ready to lash out once more at any moment.
Somebody (I used to know)
… (Now you're just somebody that I used to know)
Chuck took another step forwards wanting her to feel how angry he was, wanting her to feel all of his fury and pain. He wanted to hurt her just like she'd hurt him.
But as it came time for Blair to sing her next line she dropped the mic sending a loud echo around the room as it clattered to the floor. Letting out the smallest of gasps she backed away, before turning and walking off the stage as quickly as she could, tears stinging her eyes.
No, she didn't get to walk away from him like that. Not after singing that song, not after meaning it like that. He thought, rushing straight to the guy with the karaoke machine and handing him a hundred-dollar bill, he flipped furiously through the request book before pointing to another song. He didn't care who was here, he didn't care who this pissed off; his anger was in control now. After the events of the last few weeks, he had something he needed to say and he was going to make her hear it.
Blair was only halfway to their table when she heard his voice coming through the speakers once more. She recognized the song immediately, the wave of nausea that followed completely overwhelming her.
I hope the ring he gave to you turns your finger green
I hope when you're in bed with him you think of me
"Fucking hell." Nate spat, his eyes widening in alarm as he looked around the table. Steph, Dan, and Serena had matching horrified looks on their faces, their eyes similarly searching. Austin was gone, Gwen was still outside on the phone, Blair was standing in the middle of the room, halfway to the table her face white, and Chuck…Chuck was on stage snarling into the microphone.
Chuck's eyes were glued to the back of her head, knowing she was frozen there in shock, as he felt the monster inside of him straining at its leash.
I would never wish bad things but I don't wish you well
Could you tell by the flames that burned your words
Dan looked towards the side door where Gwen had been standing and didn't see her. For a moment he felt panic rush through him before she walked back into view. He exhaled, realizing she was completely wrapped up in her conversation, so much so she was pacing back and forth. Turning his attention back to the table he shook his head.
Blair squeezed her eyes shut. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Chuck wasn't standing on stage singing "Never Again" to her back in front of everyone that mattered in their lives. Screw flames burning words she never wrote, he was setting fire to the whole damn thing.
I never read your letter
Cause I knew what you'd say
Give me that Sunday school answer
Try and make it all okay
Steph placed a concerned hand on Dan's shoulder. Gesturing towards Blair she spoke, her voice unsteady. "Should we do something?"
Serena's somewhat panicked gaze met hers. "I don't think we can do anything that won't make it worse."
Blair hadn't even had the decency to send him a letter; at least Austin had gotten that much from her when she'd left him. But for her fucking husband she couldn't even manage that. As he lurched into the chorus he felt all the anger, all the vitriol, fill him.
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there?
Bet it sucks, see my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
His words were like being hit by lightning; their meaning and the emotion he placed behind them jolting her painfully. He was practically admitting to rubbing it all in her face. She knew Chuck could be cruel, but he was so rarely cruel to her.
She felt sick and knew it wasn't the booze and sushi– even if that wasn't helping. At least the jolt of his cruelty was enough to shock her into taking a step forwards from where she'd be frozen. She forced another step and then another, until she could brace herself at the wall near their table.
You knew exactly what you were doing
And don't say, you simply lost your way
He may believe you but I never will
Never again
He continued singing to her back as she staggered towards the wall, something dark within him practically begging for her to turn around. He could feel it, this darkness seeping towards her, almost like a voice coaxing her muscles to move to face him. That's it…he thought with a smirk the moment she began to turn.
As Blair reached the wall, she thought she could turn to face him and handle it. She couldn't have been more wrong. The second she turned, her eyes locked with his and an almost crippling pain sliced through her abdomen.
If he really knows the truth, he deserves you
A trophy wife, oh how cute
Ignorance is bliss
As soon as his eyes locked onto hers he felt the darkness that had been building within him practically erupt. She was the one who'd done this, who'd completely fucking destroyed them. She deserved every bit of the pain she felt now that she'd realized her mistake.
And he didn't believe her when she said she'd been lost, he didn't believe her when she said it wasn't for revenge. If it weren't for revenge she wouldn't have stayed away, she wouldn't have abandoned him at his most vulnerable, like the anniversary of his father's death.
But when your day comes, and he's through with you
And he'll be through with you
You'll die together but alone
She knew he was angry. The depths of that anger had been blatantly clear when he came to tell her he was proposing to Gwen. Again she'd felt his anger towards her all night at his engagement party heightening until they'd kissed in his office. But as many times as he'd revealed to her how deep his anger seemed to go she could never fully believe it. Hearing him sing those lines like that…she couldn't help thinking that his anger towards her went to his very core. It must for him to wish something like that.
Chuck knew it in his gut that she'd never been truly honest with Austin – if she had been he wouldn't still be here. She was doing exactly what she'd done years ago with Nate all over again. One day the carefully constructed castle of cards Blair had built would come crumbling down around her.
You wrote me in a letter
You couldn't say it right to my face
Give me that Sunday school answer
Repent yourself away
Blair could see it, the anger was wrapped around his heart – no more than that – it was entrenched in his very blood vessels, like some kind of infection. It was the thing actually pumping his heart, pulsing through his body, powering his every move, every word, every emotion.
There was a dark part of him hoped he was there to witness it; that absolute devastation that would hit her when Austin found out who she really was and how she destroyed people. Then she would finally feel the way he had when she'd ripped his heart to pieces.
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
As he sang, it felt like his heart was shredding again and with every single tear that darkness seeped out of him. All of that frustration, all of that anger, all of those emotions that seems to reach for the title of hate began to leak from his body.
Her stomach turned; his anger was palpable. Doing more than pulsing through his body; it was spewing from him like gasoline. She could feel it in the air, crawling towards her across the room. She didn't know how they didn't see it flushing against the walls, the floor, and then rushing straight towards her.
You knew exactly what you would do
And don't say, you simply lost your way
They may believe you but I never will
Never again
Part of him felt like he was reaching out to her, reaching out to force her in place, to force her to hear what he was saying. It was almost as though he thought the force of his fury alone could stop her from leaving where she stood. For just a moment he imagined he could see it, grasping onto the back of her neck and holding her in place.
Blair tried to tilt away from the sheer will of his rage but she couldn't. Instead it crept across her skin, washing over her body. She inhaled it, breathing it in, feeling it as that same anger that was pouring from him absorbed into her own system, infecting her the same way.
Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never again
Chuck felt the pain of the words as he practically screamed them at her, his eyes never leaving hers. The sides of his vision darkened and blurred until all he could see was her. He couldn't even feel the sting in his throat from the lyrics scratching across his vocal cords. All he could feel was that fury…that darkness and he could sense her beginning to feel it to. So he stared her down.
Her nostrils flared slightly as her eyebrows tightened. For one moment she accepted the anger, letting it flash flood her own system. It was so powerful she felt her back press tightly against the wall. This horrific energy spanned the room, tying them tightly together as Chuck's every emotion raged into her.
Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never
Just as quickly, her body rejected it – shivers shooting down her spine as she tried to expel the unwelcome emotion. She wasn't living like this, not anymore. If he wanted to be angry, if he wanted her to feel the layers of hate he felt and for all their friends to witness it, he could do it. She wasn't going to stop him; but she also wasn't going to let that kind of anger control her life. She refused.
And yet his anger still reached out, this time as if to strangle her or just crush her. It had infected every feature on his face, every movement of his body, every intonation of his voice. This is what he'd meant when he'd called her a disease…this is what his feelings for her did to him. And at that moment she agreed, to him she was a disease.
Does it hurt, to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
The sadness that seemed to flood her system now was overwhelming. How had they'd become this, what had she turned him into?
Just as soon as she thought it she stopped it. Fuck this, fuck him, she was done taking all of this on her own shoulders. Turning she started walking, she was done with this whole thing tonight.
You know exactly what you were doing
Don't say, you simply lost your way
They may believe you but I never will
I never will
She felt herself nod as he sang the last lines of the song. She had no clue what had just happened, their emotions had always been strong but that had felt like a battle. She was too overwhelmed to handle it, her body and mind felt completely strung out after that. She needed to get out of there, she had to, she couldn't face another confrontation, that non-verbal one had stripped her completely bare.
Never again
As Blair walked by the table Serena stood, grabbing for her wrist as she tried to stop her, to help her. But Blair shifted brushing her off. "Please don't." She spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper as her voice cracked. With that she fled the backroom, walked through the bar area and out through the nicer sushi restaurant in the front until she reached the exit.
Chuck stood there on stage for a moment watching her retreating figure as all the anger and emotion ebbed and flowed around him. It was almost as though he was drawing all of it back in, coiling it up like a snake before it struck.
She didn't get to leave, she didn't get to run away without an explanation for what the fuck had just happened. So he hopped off the stage, pushing his way through both Serena and Nate as they tried to stop him from following her out. He didn't say anything as he forced his way past chasing after her into the street.
Chuck emerged outside the restaurant, his head whipped right then left searching for her before he spotted her around the side of the building, in the ally between the sushi restaurant and the bar next door. Her hand was braced against the brick supporting her body as it was wracked by sobs but this time he didn't feel guilty, the coiled snake was once more prepared to strike out. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN EVERYTHING?"
Blair's head turned to face the wall but she didn't turn her body, she should have realized that he would follow her. Now he would see her crying like this and God knows what he would think–probably that it was all a ploy to make him feel bad. "I didn't pick the song damn it."
Chuck took a step forwards grabbing the wrist supporting her on the wall and jerking her around to face him. As she turned he grabbed her other wrist as well, forcing her to keep her body angled towards him. "You could have just fucking sung it instead of making it obvious that you meant every word to me."
"Pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?" Blair spat back as she jerked against his hold aware that his grip was tightening. "You've got to let this go Chuck."
Narrowing his gaze he held tightly, pressing her wrists back against the wall. "Never again, or didn't you get my message?"
Blair's eyes squeezed shut for a moment, feeling the tears sting against them. "I'm not asking you to be with me. I'm telling you have to let go of this anger that you're holding on to. I could practically see it rushing through you, reaching for me, spreading across the room. The hold it has on you…it's going to eat you alive. Trust me, I remember that kind of feeling and I almost let it destroy me."
Swallowing tightly, Chuck felt his eyes widened for a moment that it was visible to her too, his monster. Shaking himself out of it, he shook her wrist lightly as he snarled his next words only inches away from her face. "Stop fucking with my head damn it."
Blair shook her head furiously, stopping her fight to pull her wrist away as she took a step into him, surprising him enough that his arms pulled with her. Placing her wrists on his chest and giving him a shove. "You're the one that walked up on that stage and started singing,"
As Chuck took a surprised step backwards she shoved again with her next words. "You're the one who stayed up there and sang the most vindictive breakup song ever written."
Again she shoved him. "You're the one who really kissed me that day when we were looking at my scrapbook,"
This time Chuck actually stumbled but Blair wasn't done as she pushed against him again. "And you're the one who kissed me at your engagement dinner."
Anticipating her next move Chuck held firm, grasping her upper arms this time to immobilize her though he was almost painfully aware that her body was now pressed tightly against his, his back against the wall of the building next door. But he didn't have time to speak as she lowered her voice, her lips so close to his own that he could feel her breath and see the tearstains, still drying on her cheeks.
"I'd say you're the one that's fucking with my head." She finished, her voice a mere whisper as she was overcome by a different emotion entirely. She could feel the tightening in her core just as she could feel him growing against her. But that held little consequence as both of their breathing began to quicken. She was wound tightly in his grasp and their lips were almost touching.
The pounding of Chuck's heart was painful as he held Blair against him, the magnet between them unwilling to let her out of his hold as his hands slipped down to her hips and he flipped around until once more it was her back to the wall. He could feel her heartbeat fluttering, he could see her pulse at the nape of her neck, and the electricity that ran between them at that moment was more than just the anger from before. The next words came unbidden from his mouth and even he was surprised by the sound of his voice, he sounded broken. "But you're the one that left me."
Their eyes searched each other at light speed as they each tried to figure out what to do, what to say, what came next; but before either of them could make that decision Chuck was ripped backwards and Blair was released. Blair looked upwards into the eyes of Dan Humphrey, unsurprised that he was the one who followed with everything that he knew, she gave him a quick nod and took a step backwards looking to the street as though about to hail a cab.
Chuck pulled against Dan's hold, surprised at Dan's strength. "Let go of me Humphrey." He could see Blair, backing away and the energy between them was pulling him towards her. She couldn't leave not until they'd finished this.
Dan knew that Chuck must be trying to get to Blair and hoped she was getting out of there but he knew either way the others wouldn't be far behind. Taking a step forward, getting into Chuck's face so that he could speak freely, he practically growled, pissed at how Chuck had been handling her when he'd gotten out there. "Stop trying to go after her, that's not going to end well right now and you know it." Chuck's eyes flashed but Dan didn't back down. "You're angry at her and I get that. But you're angry for all the wrong reasons."
Chuck's head jerked back in surprise at Dan's words but Dan wasn't done.
"And if I ever see you touching her like that again, I will hurt you." He spoke completely serious, he could see recognition in Chuck's eyes before he exhaled, releasing his hold. "Fuck I'm not even sure you're angry at the right people."
Even though Dan had loosened his hold, Chuck didn't step away, his eyes were now locked on Humphrey's. He barely catalogued that Dan must have been there for more of that argument than either of them had realized before he stepped in; too focused on the last words out of Dan's mouth.
He could see Nate and Serena approaching them with confused looks on their faces and Steph not far behind but that hardly registered. He'd clearly underestimated how much Dan knew and for the first time he contemplated the possibility that Dan might just know more about everything going on than he did. Bringing his head close to Dan's, he knew he had to be quick. "What do you know?" He asked, his eyes narrowed.
But instead of answering Dan took a half step back and moved his eyes around, calling Chuck's attention to the fact that all of their friends were there, including a semi stunned Blair standing to the side. Dan mouthed "Not the place."
Serena looked between the boys, locked in a steely glare and Blair, standing on the curb, arms wrapped around her waist as she seemed to crumble in on herself. She froze for a moment between them, how had this all gone so wrong. She saw Steph walk towards Blair, trying to comfort her with a hand on her shoulder but Blair just shook her off.
Nate walked quickly forward towards his friends, stepping directly between them. "Okay guys, what's going on."
Chuck looked directly at Nate before directing his gaze back to Dan, unsatisfied with Dan's response. "Stay out of this Nate."
Watching what was going on and realizing what was about to happen seconds before it did, she tried once more to wrap an arm around Blair's waist, somewhat relieved that she let her.
Nate's eyes flashed as he glared at Chuck. "It's not my fault that I'm in this. Your actions a few weeks ago did that."
Serena's eyebrows pulled together, she didn't know what he was talking about, yet looking around it seemed everyone else did.
Steph felt Blair flinch and tightened her arm, allowing Blair to lean into her side. "It's going to be okay." She whispered quietly.
Chuck scoffed as he slung his arms wide. "Please, you all fucking drag yourselves into this every chance you get. You can't stand it for the two of us not to be fighting because then what would the rest of you do with your poor miserable lives? Hell, Dan wouldn't even have a career if it weren't for our drama."
Realizing she had to do something, Serena walked over and placed a hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Stop it Chuck, you're drunk."
Turning his gaze to hers his eyes narrowed. "And you're smug." Seeing her eyes flicker with panic, recognition seeped through him. "You fucking planned this didn't you."
Serena swallowed, taking a step away from Chuck. Her tongue felt heavy, as though she couldn't form words.
Nate clenched his eyes tightly closed before looking to his fiancé and shaking his head. "That's why you were tipping the waiter earlier?"
"Serena?" Blair gasped, her confusion pulling her friends name from her, even as the betrayal began to sting.
Looking to her best friend, Serena pressed her lips tightly together, trying to convey with her eyes that she'd just been trying to help. When Blair looked away, Serena knew how hurt she must be.
Chuck's eyes drifted to Blair, seeing her struggling to even keep it together. Serena might have interfered today but for once Blair didn't. He couldn't help that that thought made the monster inside of him calm, if only slightly.
Nate exhaled, realization pouring through him. "You set tonight up? All the way down to the Fortune Cookie bullshit." When she still didn't say anything he took a step backwards. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
At that Serena's head snapped back to Nate, finally managing to say something. "Like you haven't wanted to do something about all of this, give me a fucking break."
Nate shook his head, feeling the rasp in his voice when he spoke. "I seriously don't know who you are right now."
Watching Nate and Serena go at it, Steph continued to lend her support to Blair, though even as she did she started to put pieces of her own together.
"I'm done watching them in pain. I can't do it anymore." Serena practically shouted.
Still shaking his head Nate took another step back. "And you think today helped?"
Leaving Chuck's side, Dan walked over to Nate and tried to pull him back from this ledge he was teetering on. "You've got to calm down man, we can all talk about this later."
This time it was Steph who gasped as the pieces once more clicked into place. Looking to her husband with wide eyes she spoke, her voice strong and steady. "You knew didn't you."
Dan exhaled as he looked to his wife and nodded his gaze repentant.
"I should have known when you pulled a babysitter out of your ass and invited yourself to our girls' night…" She spoke feeling hurt that he hadn't told her.
Chuck once more felt his temperature spike. Dan had help set this mess up and then had the audacity to yell at him. "What the hell is wrong with you people?"
Exhaling shakily Steph bit her lip before speaking, completely ignoring everything else going on. "Tell me it wasn't for the book."
Nate snapped his head back towards Chuck, feeling himself tugged in a million different directions. "What's wrong with them? What's wrong with you?" Slinging his arm towards a still quiet Blair he couldn't help his anger from surfacing. "The way you're treating her? The whole torture and humiliation thing's getting old. She's paid her dues man, stop fucking with her head."
Chuck couldn't help but be triggered at Nate's use of the phrase he'd used on Blair earlier. "You've got to be kidding me. She's the one fucking with my life."
"You forget I was there in your office at the end of your engagement party. She'd spent the last week trying to move on, you're the one that was trying to fuck her against your desk. And if I heard Dan correctly when we walked out here, I'm guessing what he walked in on just now wasn't much better."
Flinching Chuck felt his heart thumping so loudly that it might leave his chest. "You all know about that…?" He asked, eyes searching everyone standing there before landing on Blair. "Of course you told them, just another way to get them all on your side right?"
Nate jerked on Chuck's shoulder. "She didn't tell them. I did."
Serena swallowed before speaking her voice low and her brows pulled together. "You didn't tell me. None of you did." Gazing at each of her friends' confusion and hurt etched on her face, it wasn't until her eyes landed on Blair that she recalled Austin's statement from earlier. "But you did tell Austin, didn't you?"
Chuck snorted with derision. "Blair wouldn't tell Austin." He spoke, nostrils flaring as he said Austin's name.
Serena tilted her head, a sad smile slipping onto her face as she flicked her eyes quickly to Chuck and back to Blair. "She would if she were trying to make things work for real."
Chuck rolled his eyes, sauntering into the middle of their group of friends, close to where Serena was standing, with Nate and Dan on his right, Blair and Steph on his left. Facing Serena, he spoke assuredly. "She didn't. Just like I didn't fucking tell Gwen." He could almost feel a smirk on his lips as he added under his breath. "That's for damn sure."
"And what the fuck does that tell you Chuck?" Serena spat, facing Chuck head on. "Which of you is playing games and which of you is trying to make their relationship work?"
Chuck's eyes narrowed, that wasn't possible, he knew Blair, he knew what she was capable of. He knew her capacity to lie and manipulate her way out of things. And there was no way she was doing anything but using Austin as a tool to hurt him. But what if…? No, not possible. He immediately shut down the voice in his head. And yet now that he'd thought it, he couldn't not look at her, couldn't not ask. Training his gaze to hers he felt doubt creep in, bringing with it the strangest mixture of anger, hurt, and confusion. "Did you…? Did you tell Austin?"
Swallowing tightly, Blair felt her brow furrow. She'd gone from practically invisible while they all argued, to the center of attention. All of their gazes had shifted to her, some of them as though they'd suddenly remembered she was still standing there. It was disorienting. Making eye contact with Chuck she slowly nodded her head.
"Say it." Chuck spoke intensely, his voice a throaty rasp as he took another step towards her, aware the rest of their friends were closing in as well, as though to be within grabbing distance if he lost his mind. He couldn't blame them.
Inhaling Blair knew Chuck wasn't going to stop, so on her exhale she spoke as calmly and as clearly as she could. "I told Austin what happened between us at your engagement party."
Chuck could feel his entire body seem to stiffen in panic. "And he's still with you."
"More than that." Serena interjected a surprised awe apparent in her voice. "When he left tonight, he told me to tell you that he understood and that he trusts you."
Both Chuck and Blair flicked their eyes to Serena but it was Blair who spoke. "He knows why I came back here. And he knows I'm trying."
Chuck was standing completely still but his emotions seemed to be rushing through him at a million miles a minute, completely and totally out of control. "Revenge, right Blair? This is still just all about revenge for you. God maybe you really are the only person with the power to cause me this kind of pain."
"You still think that?" Blair gasped as though the words were yanked from her throat
Shaking his head, Chuck let loose the waterfall crashing inside him. "Truth time right? That's exactly what I think. It's not like you've ever refuted it."
Blair felt herself on the edge of a panic attack. Her heart was racing and air was getting hard to come by. All of this together…this was all of her nightmares rolled into one. Taking a step backward, away from all of them she shook her head before letting lose words she hadn't wanted to say. "I may have been hurt that you got over me, but I know I'm the one that told you to. I know, I don't get to be angry that you did." Blair felt her voice raising, her words getting faster as her tone got raspier. "You told me to do this. You told me to accept Austin's proposal. You told me we were done. So you sure as hell don't to get to be mad at me for fucking trying."
As soon as the last word was ripped from her throat she turned her head to Steph, meeting her gaze. Seeing immediately what Blair needed, Steph took two steps towards the curb and flagged down a taxi. Blair didn't look at her friends, not even at Chuck who she was certain was seething as she turned and fled.
Shutting the cab door, Steph turned back to face everyone, taking in the disaster they'd all become and shaking her head. Serena was leaning against the wall biting her lip with her head tilted back. Nate and Dan each had a hand on Chuck, one on his shoulder and the other on his arm. It was clear Chuck must have made moves to follow Blair. Based on the look in his eyes she could see it was the right call. "You've all lost your damn minds." She spoke quietly. "And I can't believe I encouraged this."
With Blair gone, Chuck felt his heart rate beginning to return to normal. The reality of what had just happened, what everyone had said and done was starting to push past the emotions that had been overpowering his control. And yet, after everything said, his brain could only focus on one thing and one thing alone. Turning his head towards Dan, he exhaled slowly. "We need to have that conversation…now." He needed to know what he didn't know, what Dan thought he was missing.
Dan's eyebrows lifted in surprise, that that's what Chuck had come back to, but before he could say more he felt the air around them seem to change as the door to the restaurant opened.
Looking towards the door, Chuck's eyes widened and he brushed the boys off as quickly as possible, grateful that they were still slightly in the ally as he saw Gwen emerge. "Sweetheart, there you are!" He exclaimed hoping everyone would follow his lead, grateful when they did, and guilty that he'd forgotten she was here at all.
Tilting her head in surprise. Gwen smiled. "We were looking for you guys all over the bar."
"We?" Dan asked confused. Had Blair gone back inside from the entrance in the back? His eyes widened in further shock as Austin emerged behind Gwen.
Everyone looks back and forth in confusion but it was Dan who once more found words; speaking as he quickly shook his head, as though trying to clear out the surprise. "Didn't you go to the airport? How did you get back inside?"
Austin shrugged. "Flight was canceled, so they rebooked me on one first thing. I came straight back so I had the driver drop be off at the back entrance, I figured you'd all still be back there." It was then as he looked around that he realized Blair wasn't out here. "Where's Blair?"
Steph walked towards Austin, placing a hand on his arm. "She didn't feel well, we all just finished putting her in a cab."
Austin's eyes widened in alarm. "All of you, is she okay?"
Serena nodded stepping towards Austin as well. Hopefully blocking him from any glares that might be coming from Chuck's direction. "Yeah she'll be okay, just too many saki bombs."
"She's headed home right." Austin asked clearly worried. His gaze clipped back and forth between the two before Steph squeezed his arm. "Yeah, she's just a little overwhelmed." She spoke, pointedly meeting his gaze. If what Serena had said before was right, he'd understand.
Nodding in understanding, Austin took a step back. "I'm going to head her way then."
"Want to share a cab back to the Upper East Side?" Dan asked, eager to get away from a much too quiet Chuck.
"Sounds good." Austin spoke taking a few steps closer to the curb, Steph and Dan behind him as they all spoke quick goodbyes.
Chuck fought not to narrow his gaze at Dan, he knew what the fucker had just done; but he couldn't afford that kind of emotion at the moment with Gwen now standing next to him. Gwen who'd been inside during that entire exchange…
"Is everything okay? You're all acting weird." Gwen spoke into Chuck's shoulder.
Chuck nodded, looking over to Nate and Serena who were still standing there looking at each other with eyes that could only be described as hurt. "We're just way too drunk and way too full. Let's just head home, I'm worn out. Did you get your Southeast Asia thing worked out?"
Gwen nodded and crinkled her nose at Chuck. "Unfortunately, things aren't going my way so I'm going to have to take some drastic measures. But I have faith it will work out."
Nodding and saying a quick goodbye to Nate and Serena, he looked back to Gwen. "It's you, of course you'll work it out." He spoke with a quick kiss on her forehead as Arthur pulled up and opened the door of the town car. "Get home safe." He gestured to Nate and Serena, realizing even as he did that it didn't seem sincere.
Once Chuck and Gwen had pulled away, Nate exhaled and pushed off from the wall. "Are you coming home with me?" He asked, knowing that they were on somewhat rocky footing.
"Of course." Serena spoke, her eyebrows immediately pulling together. "You might be sleeping on the couch but I'm not going to my mother's that's for sure."
Nate pressed his lips together, debating whether or not to say anything and finally deciding that the two of them were bigger than this, they couldn't let this drag them down. "What happened today…we're not doing that again. This whole going behind each other's back thing…we're engaged we have to be able to trust each other."
Serena nodded slowly. "I know. So no more lies." That meant she had a lot to tell him, but she had time, they all did.
"No more lies." Nate agreed reaching for her hand. As he did they both heard their phones buzz and couldn't help but groan.
Scanning through the blast Nate just shook his head. "Fuck, well at least she didn't get a video."
Serena shook her head, her own eyes reading the post once more. "God what a bitch"
Spotted: B, C, S, N, D + SA engaged in a knockdown drag out drunken brawl on the street on the LES. No word yet on just what our favorites were arguing about, first one to find out and let me know gets a cookie! Is it bad that I hope they all stay mad for a while? Too much friendship just isn't good for my drama meter. I want at least another good fight out of this before any makeups. Have I mentioned lately how excited I am to have B back? Never change babe. Here's hoping she sticks around and doesn't let A drag her back to boring California.
xoxo
Gossip Girl
Scrolling through the photos on his phone the man smirked to himself, these were gold. It was the perfect match to finally ignite this dumpster fire into something useful. As long as everyone had stayed civil, the dice didn't role and the status quo remained. But now, now the dominos were finally starting to fall.
Forwarding the pictures first he paused for a second on the video, debating on if it was necessary or if he should keep just a little bit of leverage. He hesitated for only a moment before clicking send on the video accompanied by a quick text, might as well start things off with a boom.
Let the games begin.
Give me a call when you're ready to talk details.
A/N: This chapter is another one of those that I've been working on pretty much since I started this fanfic (like before I ever posted a chapter, back when it was still set after Season 3). To date myself (and this fanfic), when I first wrote a version of this chapter, Somebody That I Used to Know was a song an Australian friend had sent me to listen to and I wanted to include it in the fanfic SO BADLY but knew it hadn't even been released in the US so it would be an extreme stretch to claim it as a Top40 Karaoke song; then someone sang it on the Voice and I decided it could work. Flashforward to 2018 and that's obviously no longer a problem. The Fortune Cookieoke IS actually a real thing at my favorite NYC Karaoke bar (shout out to Baby Grand) and Somebody That I Used to Know WAS actually drawn from the cookie jar once when I was there (even though for the purposes of this fanfic Serena "arranged for that to happen." On that note, song credits: Somebody That I Used to Know, by Gotye and Never Again, by Kelly Clarkson.
Ah what else, I did promise more C/B interaction, what do you think, did I deliver? C's got a lot he needs to work through, let's hope he gets that taken care of sooner rather than later. AND the return of mystery stalker man! He's up to serious mischief this time…but honestly it seems as though B and C's friends have no problem creating mischief all on their own (honestly what were D+S thinking?!). More on that later ;) What do you think? Did D and S go too far? For clarity's sake – S manipulated the situation (with Dan's help) to trick all of them into going out drinking together then tipped the bar to give Blair her specific song knowing it would set Chuck off.
Okay hope you enjoyed this SUPER long chapter. I think it might be the longest I've ever written (~15K words), it's definitely the longest so far in this fanfic.
Reviews, as always, are love.
xoxo
kate