hello there everyone! c: here's the second chapter of my little twilight! i hope you're all enjoying it! just so you know though this story will be significantly shorter than my others because it's really meant for practice. so it will probably only go for another 3 chapters or so. then i'll be back in full swing with henna who and the gaster master again c:

chapter 2: pinkie pies pickle

pinkamena pie was sitting across from discord at the dragonequus' o=house, drinking tea. the dragonequus looked at her, patiently. "well, go on."

pinkie swallowed nervously before speaking. "the cakes asked me to meet them at their house today, and said they had an important question to ask me. so i went and..."

"and?" discord encouraged, nodding.

"have you heard about how mr and mrs cake have been trying to have a foal?"

"well, i guess i've listened to a bit of the neighborhood gossip" said discord, rolling his eyes. in reality he was the biggest rumor mill in town and gossiped to every pony who would listen. he even once started a rumor that pinkie pie made a deal with flutter shy to house flutter shys rats in the cakes' shop during thw winter and business was booming for christmas cookies. but pinkie pie didn't need to know that now.

"nurse redheart says they can't have a foal. mrs cake is a virgin" said pinkie pie loking into her teacup sadly.

"how unfortunate," said discord. he took a loud sip of his tea and then bit into the teacup, blue sparkling eyes shifting around the room.

"yeah" said pinkie pie. she looked up at him. "they want me to be their surrogate."

discord spat his tea all over the coffee table, even though that's a different beverage entirely and you're not required to only drink coffee on it so why do they call it that?! anyway "their surrogate?!" sputtered sidcord.

"yes" said pinkie, looking uncomfortable. "and mr cake wants to conceive the foal naturally."

"well, what's wrong with that?" questioned discord.

"im not comfortable having sex with a stranger," said pinkie pie. in fact it made her so uncomfortable the only thing that would have made her more uncomfortable was seeing mikey the ninja turtle give birth to a pizza, but she decided not to tell discord this. (i sometimes have visions of this, it's very distressing especially since mikey reminds me of my boyfriend :()

"well pinkie i used to be a sex worker, and i've slept with numerous strangers," said discord, "i wouldnt mind helping you get over that"

"thats very kind of you." said pinkie. "but i think i need time to think everything through"

"of course, my dear," said discord, and looked at her teacup from across the room with his huge neck/. "oh my, you're out of tea! i'll go fetch you some more," he said and took her teacup and scurried into the kitchen.

ponky pin gazed out the window. it was raining lightly outside, real rain, not the chocolate swill discord makes fall from the sky. lightning was beginning to flash faintly in the distance. in the direction of the castle.

pinkie pie sighed. she'd been invited to the castle for some party or something (she could never tell because princess luna was a renowned party animal and would throw everything from birthday parties to pool parties to tubberware parties) but she didn't go because the cakes wanted to speak with her about their conception problems and how they wanted pinkie pie to have sex with carrot and carry their horse child. so she wound up missing it.

"peenkoi uym bahck!" said discord, trying to sound like the doctor to make pinkie feel better, but all it did was remind her of the cakes' doctor and she got uncomfortable again so he cleared his throat in embarrassment. "i have your tea OH SWEET CELESTIA!"

"discord?!" pinkie asked, scared. she bounced out of her chair and over to him. "are you okay?!"

"somethings happening at the castle!" said discord. "there's an old, ugly man there... and he just hurt twilight! celestia needs you RIGHT NOW!"

"i'm on my way!" pinkie said, swishing her tail at discord as a thank you for the tea and talking but he took it to mean that he would be getting some sweet pink booty later. at the caslte pinkie broke through the front doors to find several ponies looking scared and princess celestia looking panicked and twilight sparkle holding a pair of disembodied ass cheaks.

"WHAT THE FUDGE HAPPENED IN HRER?!" pinkie asked, not expecting twilight to be cradling someone's detached hiney in her hooves. it was cold and clammy.

"an old enemy of mine has returned." said princess celestia. "twilight, gather your friends and meet me in my study. and bring the backside."

twlight put the hiney in her saddlebag and rounded up her friends. they waited outside princess celestia's study for several minutes as the princess tidied up and put away her chickens. after a few minutes she ushered the mares and the hoyney into her inner sanctum.

"girls, the man who just attacked us is a very old enemy of mine," priencess celestia explained. "in order to defeat him and keep equestria safe, i'm going to need you to go somewhere i used to spend a lot of time: ravenwood."

the ponies mumbled in confusion. "ravenwood? where's that?" asked flutter shy.

"a magic school run and attended mostly by humans. it's where malistaire worked and the best place for you to gather clues about what he plans on doing next and how to combat him. especially since twilight has lost her powers."

"oh no twilight!" said pinkie.

"it's okay, pinkie, i'm fine," said twilight and smiled at her friend.

"hopefully old ambrose can help you learn human magic, twilight, while you're there. here's the spell to teleport to ravenwood" said celestia and she handed it to rarity. "even though twilight is a much better student and my personal favorite as well as illegitimate child the spell is simple enough for you rarity."

"thank you your highness" said rarity and internally swore celestia out.

"well, i guess we better get going" said twilight.

"hold on," said princess celestia, and she put together a suitcase for the mares. "you'll get hungry, let me pack you some sustenance for your journey," she said, and packed a chicken, 3 pounds of mashed potatoes, a gravy boat, and a candy bar for them all to share, because friendship is magic.

"here, twilight, hand me the anus." demanded princess celestia. twilight passed her the noyney and the princess nestled it between the chicken and gravy. "keep it with you, it might help you find malistaire."

"yes ma'am." said twilight, and she loaded the suitcase onto her back. "ready rarity?"

"indeed," said rarity, and began reciting the spell while her horn glowed. "unicornius healthum!"

the mares glowed, then vanished in a blinding sparkling light.

END POF CHAPTER TWO~