Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games

Haymitch's Failings

The rest of her appointment went by quickly but Effie wasn't focusing on what Mrs Everdeen was saying her mind was still reeling from the sudden news. Not only was she pregnant by accident to a man who never wanted children but she was expecting twins.

"I'd like to see you again Miss Trinket in about a months' time. The babies should be a lot bigger by then and the heart beats will be far easier to hear and it'll also be a much stronger beat. Everything looks to be going okay for now as well. I know it's a big shock to find out you're having not one but two babies but you'll be a great mum I'm sure." Effie forced a smile and nodded her head. She stood shakily from her seat and walked towards the door. She was supposed to feel happy after today's appointment, she was fully expecting to be told that her baby was okay and she'd be leaving excited for the future but now all she could feel was dread. She wasn't made to be a mother she couldn't be a single parent to two children. How did she end up with two? Twins had never been an occurrence before in her family, and she'd never heard Haymitch mention a set of twins either. Would they be identical, would they look different, are they either girls or both boys or would she be gifted with one of each? Her head hurt, right now all she wanted was a hard drink but yet being pregnant meant that wasn't allowed one.

She left the hospital wing trapped in her mind never once noticing the blonde stood impatiently at the door, she walked straight past him until she felt something grab her wrist. She froze and the sound of his deep voice didn't cause her to relax.

"Effie, is everything okay?" he asked searching her face for any signs. She was ghostly pale and her eyes were glazed over he slowly reached up to touch her cheek but she shook her head and stepped away avoiding his steely gaze. "Effie tell me what's wrong," he said, he wasn't very good at this he knew, but something inside of him wanted to make her feel better, he was so used to seeing the happy confident Effie, even fake Effie with her mask. So to see her look so broken and so silent, it disturbed him almost like someone had rewired her brain and took out the Effie he knew and secretly was fond of.

All she wanted to do was run away and curl into a ball and cry but standing right in front of her was the man that had gotten her into this situation, a man she knew deserved to know the truth from her before it became blatantly obvious. She was terrified on how he would take it, her hands shook as she looked up into his grey eyes. Would her babies have the same grey eyes as him or would they have her blue ones. She hoped they had his, he did have lovely grey eyes.

"Haymitch…" she muttered softly closing her eyes as she steadied herself. "I need to tell you something." Haymitch mutely nodded waiting for her to find the right words.

"I… I don't know how best to word this and normally I'm so good with words but I'm truly lost for words this time, it's the first time this has ever actually happened to me which is ironic that the time I need words I lose them and…"

"Sweetheart you're waffling." Haymitch said amused, he had never actually witnesses Effie lost or struggling for words, normally that was his role.

Breathing deeply through her nose and lifting her eyes back to meet his she braced herself, now or never… "I'm pregnant… with twins... and they're yours"

Looking back she probably could have worded it a lot better with a nicer flow not so structured but the cat had let the pigeon out of the bag as the saying went and the second the words had left her mouth Haymitch's hands had dropped from hers to his side. She could see he was trying to process what she had just told him, his mouth was opening and then closing but no words were coming out. His eyes dropped to her stomach and back up to her face, she had seen the look on his face before and was surprised to see fear was the second emotion after shock. She wanted to ask him what he thought to all of this but her mouth had suddenly gone dry and the words just wouldn't come out. She watched him for a few more seconds, watched as his breathing increased and she wondered if this was the beginnings of a panic attack, but she wouldn't get to witness it first-hand because something in him sparked and he turned and ran. She watched him go and closed her eyes, resting her hand delicately on her stomach she bit her lip to hold in the sob. A tear ran down her cheek as she turned and walked away. He had literally ran from her, the one person she counted on the most had turned and fled when she needed him the most. With a heavy heart and a sickly feeling in her stomach she made her way back to her room, who cared about the stupid schedule on her arm, it could go to hell for all she cared she wanted to be alone and alone she would be.

XXX

He didn't know where he was running to, he couldn't quite believe he was running. The last time he had run was when Peeta had made him train for the Hunger Games several months prior, before that may have actually been his own Hunger Games. His chest was burning and he slowed to a stop sinking to the floor he pulled his knees to his chest and buried his head in his hands pulling at the hair to feel anything other than the immense feeling of fear that was encasing him. He already knew he would have to apologise to Effie, but words right now were not coming to him. She had told him she was pregnant, pregnant with twins and they were his and like a coward he had fled.

He didn't want this, didn't want to be a dad, he couldn't be a dad he was too broken, kids died because of him. He had almost drunk himself to death, how was he able to create not one but two children after the years of abuse done to his body? Somebody truly hated him. Why was it always two kids? Two kids reaped, two kids' dead, two kids failed. They were always in two's it was fate that he'd father twins to fail them also. He was almost expecting them to be one boy and one girl, so at 12 they could be reaped and taken from him all at once.

He rested his head against the wall, Katniss' words of a happy family rang through his head… did the girl know? She must have, no way was the girl that clued up to figuring it all out on her own, Katniss was oblivious to many things around her, that was Peeta's domain, to know things about people. So she had to have known, hell she'd even said it, her exact words had been 'trying to understand the shocking revelation that my Mentor has knocked up my Escort' and he'd missed it. He had assumed she was talking about the miscarriage but clearly she wasn't. She knew Effie was pregnant and he was going to be a dad and they could have a chance of a happily ever after if he wanted.

He didn't know what to say or think, the news about the miscarriage was a shock but this was something completely different. His legs were wobbly as he pulled himself to his feet, he knew he should apologise to Effie but first he had to apologise to someone he had already failed...

He stood facing the cell looking through the one way glass at the boy he was currently failing. There had been a lot of success with Peeta with Effie and Madge but he himself had yet to face the boy. He didn't know how Peeta would handle seeing him, there were many unknowns and uncertainties about what he was going to do. Peeta so far hadn't attacked either Effie or Madge but he was different, he had always, appeared close to Katniss he and the girl were linked and Peeta knew this but he had to try, had to try and fix this whatever way he could, there was nobody about only a single guard standing at the door. As he approached the door the guard frowned but stepped aside and with a final deep breath he turned the handle and walked inside.

He could feel a change in temperature the moment he stepped through the door, the room was colder than where he had just left, and found it odd that neither Effie or Madge had mentioned the temperature, but then their appointments had always been planned was the room always this cold and only heated when Effie and Madge were to enter? His eyes locked on to Peeta who was staring straight back at him and he tensed, memories of facing down wild poisonous creatures in his game suddenly flooded around him as Peeta stood his eyes blackening the more he gazed upon him. Attempting to push back the fear Haymitch took a step forward. "Hello Peeta," he stated softly and the boy said nothing, his nostrils flaring and his hands tightening into fists. "I bid you no harm,"

"What do you want!" Peeta snarled stretching to his full height, his feet still shackled.

"I've come to see you, I haven't been allowed to see you since you have arrived but I've… I know you've been talking to Effie and Madge." He said softly and something flickered in Peeta's eyes for only a second. Effie and Madge were a safe topic.

"You spying on me?" he snarled and Haymitch shook his head.

"No boy they've just told me how you've been, nobody is about at the moment so I've snuck into see you."

"You mean kill me!" Peeta shouted taking several steps towards Haymitch. Instincts kicked in and Haymitch quickly stepped back but he knew instantly it was the wrong move when Peeta stopped and laughed, his laugh set chills through him.

"You couldn't kill me. I'd kill you before you could even try, you did this to me, you and the mutt. All those months I thought you were my friend and you betrayed me, you allowed her to control you and manipulate you. You chose her over me, over and over again."
"I know!" Haymitch shouted stopping Peeta mid rant. "I know I chose the girl over you, I know I favoured her to win the games and not you, I know I've always been closer to her and I know I have failed you, I failed you like all the other tributes I've ever had but you are better than me, you are a good person an honest hard working person and I should have betted on you kid from day one. I should have tried to save you and protected you but I didn't and I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry I failed you, and I will make this right, you'll get out of here and we'll make you better."

"Why does everyone think I'm broken? I'm not broken you drunk! I'm alive and I see clearly! I see everything that's wrong with you all, all the lies you tell and the games you play and the wires you pull. I'm wiser than you all and yet I'm treated as though I'm the broken one. You're a failure Haymitch. How many kids have you killed because you were too drunk to care, too drunk and selfish encased in your own lies and beliefs that you allowed everyone to die. What made the mutt so different to you, is it because you see her in you? She's just like you, rotten and destined to kill everyone around her!" Peeta yelled the words he grabbed his make shift bed and through it against the wall and Haymitch jumped from the noise. He dared not move. He wasn't even sure he was breathing but Peeta's words had an inch of truth to them, only a few minutes earlier he was questioning the same failings that Peeta had chosen to announce.

"Blood has a horrible smell to it, I suggest you leave now or it'll be the last thing you do smell." Haymitch stepped back and knocked on the door, with one final glance at Peeta he slipped through the door as the guard fastened it quickly behind him, he stumbled to the window staring at Peeta from behind the safety of the glass. He had slid down the wall his eyes shut and his breathing heavy, his bony knees were pulled to his chest as slowly laid on his side, curled up into a ball.

Haymitch watched the boy with sadness, he finally understood what the Capitol had done to him. They hadn't brainwashed him with lies and picked at his brain so he could only see what they had wanted him to see and believe, but instead they had filled him with the truth, took every insecurity, every fear he had and twisted and played with them, pulled them so hard that he could only see the horror in the actions people had done. How much of what he had said in that room was the truth?

How many kids had died because he was too drunk to help them? He had chosen Katniss over Peeta, he'd chosen to leave him to die a slow and painful death because he was betting on the girl. He could see Katniss in him, see the broken bitter soul and the hatred for everyone around her where as Peeta had been so different. He and the girl were an icy wind in the middle of the winter where as Peeta was the warmth from the heat on a warm summers day.

Yes the Capitol had tortured him and turned him against them, but the seeds of betrayal, hurt and fear were there to begin with, he was already a killer, had killed several times in the games what difference does a death in an arena and a death in a white cell have, it was still death and the boy knew death.

With closed eyes Haymitch turned away from the boy, he wasn't the only one to have failed Peeta Mellark they all had, they just needed the Capitol to show them how badly they truly failed him.

This was supposed to have another scene after Haymitch's meeting with Peeta but I felt it seemed more fitting to end it here, then to keep going. I'm very sorry it's taken so long to actually update this story life has changed so much over the last year really. I got a new job that was longer less sociable hours so I was finding it far harder to sit down and right and I also found out I was pregnant, now I'm on maternity leave hopefully I can find more time to sit and write before the baby does arrive in a few more weeks. Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you enjoyed this chapter!