Chapter 6 – Beginnings and Endings
Two little blue lines slowly appeared in the window of the plastic stick.
"It… it's… positive…" We both stared at test strip wide eyed, trying to process the information. "I'm going to be a dad." I still couldn't quite believe it.
"We're having a baby!" Kotomi apparently wasn't having the same problem. She launched herself at me throwing her arms around my neck, unfortunately her momentum was enough to push me backwards off the stool I was sitting on, and we landed on the floor with a thud. Thankfully Kotomi landed on something soft, namely me. However, I was not quite so fortunate. Five minutes later I was pressing an ice pack to the back of my head.
"I am very sorry Tomoya, I got over excited."
"I'm fine angel, I suppose we'd better make a doctor's appointment, hadn't we?"
"Oh! Does your head still hurt? Should I call an ambulance?!" Kotomi shot to her feet and attempted to remove the ice pack and inspect my head.
"Kotomi, calm down. I meant for you." She gave me a confused look.
"For me? What for?"
"Kotomi, don't you think it would be a good idea to get a proper pregnancy test done?"
"Oh! Oh, yes you are correct, sorry, I am a little flustered."
"No kidding."
'Good lord, if she's like this now, what's going to be like when the hormones really kick in?'
We managed to get an appointment for the following morning. We sat in the waiting room eagerly awaiting the results of the test.
"Calm down Kotomi, the home tests are really accurate these days, so this is just a formality, Okay?"
"I know, I am just very excited."
"So am I angel. Would you like to go and see Sanae-san once we're done here?"
"Sanae-san? What for?"
"Well, neither one of us has a mother to turn to, and Sanae-san and Akio-sama have always been so supportive, especially of you. Plus, we can tell Furukawa while we're there."
"Yes, that is a wonderful idea, do you really think Sanae-san wouldn't mind?"
"I think she'd love to help you, with the way Furukawa's health is, I don't know if she'd be able to carry a baby to term without extreme risk to her life." Kotomi fidgeted with the paper work on her lap and looked down, a tinge of sadness on her face.
"Yes, I had thought the same thing of Nagisa-chan's health. Are you sure it wouldn't upset her to see her mother help me?"
"Honestly I doubt it has crossed her mind, if she had a boyfriend then maybe it would, but Akio-sama isn't going to let a guy anywhere near her any time soon." Kotomi giggled quietly, finally looking up again.
"Yes, Akio-sama is quite protective isn't he."
"Yeah, the first time I met him he stood there glaring at me with his baseball bat over his shoulder for like ten minutes. And I was already dating you at the time, can you imagine what he'd do if a single guy showed up looking for her?" Kotomi giggled at the thought. Any further conversation came to a stop as a smiling doctor walked towards us holding the test results.
An hour later we were walking out of the door with a stack of paperwork and goofy grins on our faces.
"I'll just give them a quick call to check they're in." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled the bakery.
"Furukawa bakery, what do you want?" Akio-sama's customarily gruff greeting was somehow comfortable and reassuring. "Hey Akio-sama, it's Tomoya, is Sanae-san around?"
"Oh, hey kid, yeah she's around here somewhere, what's up?"
"Kotomi wanted to talk to her, is it okay if we drop round?"
"Sure thing, you two are always welcome, you know that."
"Yeah, I know, but you know me, I don't like to make assumptions. See you in about ten minutes."
"Alright kid, I'll get Sanae to put some tea on."
"Thanks."
When we arrived all three Furukawa's were waiting for us by the front door. We all sat around the table in their lounge, drinking tea, as we filled them in. Sanae-san was ecstatic and was a little teary eyed when Kotomi asked if she mind if she came her if she needed help or advice. Akio-sama, just clapped me on the shoulder and said, 'Good for you kid.'
Furukawa on the other hand, she said congratulations and that she happy for us, but her smile seemed a little fragile or forced. Sanae-san and Kotomi chattered away for a bit.
Sanae-san told Kotomi to stick to dry toast in the mornings and gave her a box of ginger tea that she said would help with the morning sickness. Furukawa had stayed quite subdued for the majority of our visit but managed to give Kotomi a genuinely happy congratulations and a hug.
Sanae-san's toast and ginger tea regime seemed to help and Kotomi was able to nibble her way through a slice of toast in the morning. We managed to pin the twins down for long enough to have them round for dinner so we could share our happy news.
"Kotomi-chan! Congratulations! I am so happy for you." Ryou was over the moon, immediately threw her arms around Kotomi, grinning from ear to ear.
"Oi, I'm here too you know."
"Oh, of course Okazaki-kun, congratulations." She let go of Kotomi long enough to give me a brief hug too.
"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Tomoya?"
"I'm sorry, old habits are hard to change."
"Tomoya, stop teasing my sister will you."
"But haven't given up teasing Kotomi yet though have you."
"I might have to now, somehow it wouldn't feel right to tease a pregnant woman." Kotomi smile coyly. "Congratulations you two."
"Thanks, Kyou." Ryou and Kotomi chattered away excitedly.
"The morning sickness isn't too bad, Sanae-san gave me some tea that help. But Tomoya won't stop fussing over me, he won't even let me get something off the top shelf in the kitchen."
"You'll just have to get used to that I think." Kotomi gave Kyou a quizzical look. "remember how protective of you he was in school?"
"Yes, I do but…"
"Now think about it like this, if he was that protective of you then, it's not surprising he'd be even more protective of you now because you're carrying his baby. You're his two most precious things in the world all bundled into one."
"I hadn't thought about it like that." Kotomi paused for a moment, then threw her arms around me, tears streaming down her face. "I am sorry Tomoya." She buried her face in my chest and cried while I stroked her hair. Kyou looked a little upset herself.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean." Kyou gently stroked her back to try to comfort her, before looking at me. "D-did I say too much?"
"Kyou, she's pregnant."
"I know, but…"
"Her hormones are having a field day right now. Yesterday she started crying when an ad for baby powder came on the TV."
"Really?"
"Really."
"So, I didn't…"
"It's fine Kyou. Isn't it, angel?" Kotomi emerged from my chest and sniffled.
"I am sorry Kyou-chan, I am not in control of emotions at the moment." With that Kotomi threw her arms around Kyou. All Kyou could do was pat Kotomi on the back, while she cried. Ryou and I couldn't help but laugh at the startled expression on Kyou's face.
Kotomi's first trimester continued much the same, throwing up in the morning and crying at the drop of a hat. Kotomi gave me framed picture from her first ultrasound to put on my desk. We ended up spending a lot of time at the bakery. So, to save confusion I was told I should call Furukawa, Negisa, instead. I wasn't completely comfortable with it, Negisa was a little too attentive to me when I was there. It reminded me of how she reacted when Kotomi and I got engaged, and the expression on her face when she learned that Kotomi was expecting a baby.
That aside, Kotomi was extremely pleased to be pregnant, even more so when it started to show, she did complain a bit when she discovered she couldn't fit into her favourite dress. But she was proud to show off her baby bump and spent a lot of time with her hands placed on her tummy. To me, she was the very avatar of womanhood.
Week 15 and we were relaxing in the back garden when Kotomi suddenly gasped.
"Tomoya, I felt her move!"
"Really, it's a little early isn't it?" I placed my hand on her tummy hoping to feel for myself.
"I am certain I did, Oh! There, she moved again did you feel it?"
"I did, wow. Wait she, have they told you what we're having?"
"No, they can't quite see on the scans."
"So, what makes you think it's a girl?"
"I just know. It feels right when I think of our baby as a girl."
"Okay if you say so, I won't argue, just don't be disappointed if you turn out to be wrong. Okay?"
"I really don't mind, I'm just excited to meet our baby, and I don't like say 'it' all the time."
"Okay, I don't really like to call our baby 'it' either. Have you had any ideas about names yet?"
"I had thought about my mom or dad's names, but I'm not sure. Have you had any ideas?"
"Funnily enough I had the same idea. We still have plenty of time to decide." A flurry of excited text messages too and from the twins followed. Ryou was especially excited, her own wedding was approaching, and she was already getting broody. What did surprise me was that we didn't hear anything at all from, Negisa.
I spoke to Sanae-san the following day, the reason Negisa didn't answer was not really unexpected, she was sick in bed again, and sleeping much of the time. We visited Negisa often and she had the chance to feel the baby move eventually, but she was too ill to be able to get too excited about it.
Another month passed; the pregnancy passed the halfway mark. Negisa was still sick, if anything she was getting weaker and weaker. Sanae-san was putting on a brave face but knowing her as well as we do, we could tell how worried she was, Akio-sama wasn't as adept at hiding his feelings, especially when it came to Negisa. Kotomi visited everyday on the way home from work, the twins visited as often as they could too.
Friday evening, as we approached the bakery my stomach lurched as we saw an ambulance outside the bakery.
Akio-sama and Sanae-san were standing by the back door of the ambulance. Sanae was clinging to Akio's shirt, crying uncontrollably, that was bad enough but the hollow look in Akio's eyes was heart breaking.
"What happened?" I asked as I ran to their side.
"She, wouldn't wake up, so we called for the ambulance, but while we were waiting for it, she stopped breathing." Akio's voice was almost as hollow as his eyes.
Kotomi was already in tears as she gripped my sleeve. We waited for what felt like an eternity while the ambulance crew worked. The door opened.
"She's breathing on her own for now, but we need to go now."
"Akio, give me your keys."
"What?" He didn't seem to register what I said.
"Give me your keys, I'll lock up here and meet you at the hospital. Get going, your girls need you."
"Yeah, thanks kid." He passed me a bunch of keys and they climbed into the Ambulance, it drove off with lights and sirens blaring.
"Kotomi, call us a taxi, I'll get everything shut down and locked up." Kotomi simply nodded and pulled her phone from her bag. We finished locking up and stood outside waiting for the taxi.
"Tomoya, will she be okay?" Kotomi's voice was hoarse and tears streamed down her face.
"I don't know angel; I wish I could tell you she will be fine but… she's so weak. Where is that damn taxi?" by the time we made it to the hospital Akio and Sanae were waiting out side of the emergency room.
"How is she doing?"
"I don't know, they're not telling us anything." Akio was a little more with it, but not by much.
"Kotomi, do you know if Ryou is working today?"
"No, I'm sorry I don't know."
"I give her a call, it's worth a try at least." Less that 3 minutes later Ryou was with us.
"What happened?"
"It's Negisa, she's in there, but they're not telling us anything. Can you find anything out?"
"I'll see what I can find out." With that she hurried through into the emergency room. An extremely long 5 minutes later, she returned to us, looking very worried.
"How is she?"
"It's not good I'm afraid, she isn't breathing for herself and her heart stopped once but they have got it going again, but she is extremely weak. They will be transferring her to critical care shortly. I wish I had better news. I'll call in a few favours and see if I can get assigned to her ward. Excuse me I need to speak to someone, if I hear anything I'll come right back."
"We can't thank you enough."
"Non-sense she's my friend too." Ryou then hustled off to pull what strings she could.
"Thanks kid."
"Huh, what are you thanking me for? It was Ryou that…"
"And if you hadn't thought to call her, we would still be waiting to find out what was happening, and I would have either had to leave the bakery the way it was or make Sanae come to the hospital alone. So, like it or not we owe you a lot. Thanks."
"But…" Sanae silenced my protests with a tearful hug.
Ryou returned to us looking furious.
"They won't allow me to work Nagisa-chan's case." She was clearly very angry; it says a lot really, as frankly I'd never seen her even a little angry before. "They will however let me keep you four up dated. They're getting her ready to move to critical care now, once she's all set, I'll come and get you, okay."
"Thanks, Ryou, you're a saint."
"If I'm a saint, what does that make you?" she didn't wait for an answer, she just headed back the way she came.
"What did she mean by that?"
"I believe she was implying that you have been more helpful than she has,"
"But…"
"Kid, don't argue with your wife, you'll never win anyway."
Half an hour later Ryou returned and took us to a side room in the critical care unit, but she stopped us at the door.
"Listen, I don't want to worry you, but I need to prepare you for what you are about to see, Negisa-chan is currently not breathing for herself, so she needs a respirator, she is also on two IV drips and obviously we're monitoring her heart rate and blood pressure, in short, there are a number of tubes and wires attached to her at the moment, and it will probably be a shock when you see it. So, gentlemen, your wives will need you too be strong for them." She looked pointedly at me. "I'll be right with you just in case." She turned around and opened the door.
It was quite a shock to see her that way in spite of Ryou's best efforts, Kotomi buried her head into my shoulder and cried her heart out. At the sight of her daughter in such a state Sanae crumpled to the floor wailing, tears flooding down her face, breath only coming in gasps as her heart broke.
We sat with Negisa for over an hour Kotomi didn't want to leave, but with myself, Ryou, Akio and Sanae insisting she go home and get some rest. I didn't like to use the 'Think of the baby' card really, it felt too much like bullying to me, but it seemed both appropriate and necessary in this case. I managed to get her to eat something before I tucked her into bed, she fell asleep almost immediately, but she woke up several times in the night.
The following morning, I called Akio for an update, there had been no change in Negisa's condition which in itself wasn't quite good news, but it wasn't bad news either. She was stable for now. Sanae was insistent that my class needed me more than Negisa did and said I was welcome to visit after school finished, but not before that. Kotomi was equally restricted from visiting unless I was present. I managed to convince Kotomi that the best thing she could do would be to go to work and try and take her mind of it for a while.
It was by far the longest day of my life, by the time I reached the gate after school Kotomi was ready and waiting with a taxi to take us to the hospital. When we arrived at Negisa's room, we found Ryou and Kyou waiting outside. Ryou came over to us.
"The doctor is talking to the Furukawa's now."
"And?"
"She's fading fast. It won't be long." Kyou's sobs were all the confirmation I needed. Kotomi, however.
"No, no, no, she can't!" I had been worrying about how Kotomi would deal with it should the worst happen. She'd come a long way with her counselling, but some wounds don't heal so easily. Initially she resisted my attempt to put my arms round her, I was concerned that if I let go she would run away, she didn't fight me for long, before she simply broke down clinging to the front of my shirt and bawling, her eyes screwed tightly closed.
Once the doctor left, we gathered in Negisa's room, waiting. Keppei arrived to be with Ryou which left me to care for Kotomi and Kyou, while Akio tried in vain to console Sanae.
Time flowed like cold treacle, slow and heavy, until eventually the beeping of the heart monitor slowed and then stopped followed by a long even tone, Ryou stood up and switched of the machine as doctor arrived to perform some final checks, before pulling the sheet up over her head.
The hospital staff gave us plenty of space and time to say our goodbyes. It was nearly ten o'clock at night before Akio and Sanae managed to persuade everyone it was okay to leave. Kyou didn't want to be alone so Kotomi invited her to stay with us for a night or two.
I had feared that Kotomi would have another melt down like she did after the bus crash but in spite of her initially combative reaction, the had been largely calm, apart from the minutes immediately after Negisa passed away obviously, she'd actually spent the last 10 minutes holding Kyou, while gently stoking her hair.
We all took the following day off to process what had happened, Kotomi and Kyou had decided to help the Furukawa's in the only way they knew how, food. By around three in the afternoon they'd made enough for them to eat well for over a week.
The three of us walked around to the bakery to drop off the food and to check on the Furukawa's. Akio wasn't surprised to see us, but he was surprised by the quantity of food we had with us. Sanae's eyes were red and puffy as expected but she did manage to smile, when she greeted us, only to scowl at me a moment later.
"What are you thinking Tomoya-san? Letting your pregnant wife do so much work." I was so stunned by the fact that Sanae was actually telling me off, I didn't manage to tell her that Kyou had done most of the work.
"Um, Sanae-san?"
"Yes, Kyou-chan?"
"He didn't let her do much, actually."
"He didn't?"
"No, Tomoya was most insistent that she not do too much. And what she was allowed to do she had do sitting down."
"Oh, Tomoya-san I am so sorry I mis-judged you."
"It's okay Sanae-san, it's nice to know you care about her so much."
"I didn't know he had it in him either, it's first time I've ever heard him say no to her."
"Thank you Kyou but I'm not that bad."
"Yes, you are kid, just admit it, you'll feel better for it."
"Not you too, come on, I thought you'd be on my side on this one."
"And I would be, if you weren't actually that bad."
The atmosphere remained lighter than expected but much more subdued than was normal for the Furukawa house. Sanae spent most of the time with Kotomi fussing over her and feeling her tummy when the baby kicked.
Kyou sat down next to me and watched Sanae and Kotomi.
"So, who do you think is supporting who?"
"Kotomi would do anything she could for Sanae, so distracting her by talking about the baby, isn't too much to ask really is it."
"You really think she's that aware of how Sanae is feeling."
"Kotomi has become a lot better at understanding people since school."
"You think so?"
"I know so, she's been helping you since, yesterday hasn't she?"
"What do you mean?"
"Who held you and stroked your hair last night?"
"Kotomi did, but thought you'd told her to help me?"
"Nope, and who's idea was it to cook all day?"
"She really did all that for me?"
"She did."
"Wow, she really has grown hasn't she."
"There's a joke there somewhere."
"You love seeing that tummy and you know it."
"Yeah, I really do. How could I not? it's our baby in there."
"Ugh, you're still as love struck as ever aren't you."
"You started it you know."
"Yeah, yeah. So, how's it going at work?"
"Oh, it's going great, I have a really good bunch of kids. I can't say I love all the paper work but it's worth it."
"You're still studying as well, aren't you?"
"How did you know that?"
"I saw you're books last night."
"I decided to keep going and get my bachelor's, the school are letting me use it as part of my in-service education."
"Think back to the start of our third year, could you have ever imagined in your wildest dreams that you'd be married to a woman who adores you, with a baby on the way and working on a bachelor's degree?"
"No chance, I figured I'd end up driving a cab or something."
"Speaking of driving a cab, have you spoken to Sunohara much since school."
"I've spoken to him once since then but that's it."
"Really? I thought you'd at least keep in touch."
"So, did I to be honest, but the last time I actually spoke to him was at the wedding. Beyond that all we've had was one new year's greeting card. We were useful to one another for a while but the only reason we'd have kept in touch would have been to try and one up each other, and there's no way he's got half a chance there so there's no reason for him to keep in touch, I've written to him a few times but he hasn't answered."
"He really is an idiot, isn't he?"
"Pretty much, how are you getting on with your class?"
"A couple of the boys are a little troublesome but not bad really, have you got rid of the Oki-sensei name yet?"
"Oki-sensei, who the hell's that?" Crap.
"Thanks, Kyou, I'd managed to keep Akio from hearing about that one. The kids at my school call me Oki-Sensei."
"Tomoya-san that sounds lovely."
"Yes, the children all love Oki-sensei, one of the girls from his training class was very upset she couldn't take her Oki-sensei with her to her new class, she still comes to wait with him if her mother is running late." Kotomi added proudly.
"You always did have a way with the girls didn't you Tomoya?"
"Of course, the girls all love him he's so tall and handsome."
"Thank you Kotomi, but I'm not sure five-year old children are quite thinking that way."
"I was going to tease him about it, but I think he'd like it too much for it to be any fun." Akio lamented.
"Tomoya-san, it has been lovely having you all here, but I think your lovely wife could do with a rest, don't you?"
"I wouldn't dare argue; I wouldn't want to be shouted at, again would I?"
"But I'm fine, we've just been sitting around anyway."
"Come on angel, you are looking a little tired."
"I'm fine, Tomoya I am quite capable of spending the day at the lab without any problems."
"Yes, you are, but how much sleep did you really get last night?"
"But…"
"Kotomi-chan, you wouldn't want your husband to worry, now would you? I am very glad you came to help me feel better, but your baby needs you more than I do right now."
I think that one was a little underhanded, but it stopped her arguing any further. As we all filed out of the door Akio stopped me.
"Hey, kid, thanks."
"You already said that."
"No, not for yesterday, for today. The three of you have done more to comfort Sanae than I could."
"You've had your own grief to handle too. I'll give you a call tomorrow and check in. if you need anything at all before then give me call, even if it's just to throw a ball around."
"Thanks Tomoya, you're a good man, I'm glad you were Negisa's friend. Now go take care of your family, before you make me say any more embarrassing things."
Kotomi wanted to go back to work the next day, she had slept better so I saw no reason stop her, her colleges were already keeping an eye on her because of the baby so I wasn't worried. Kyou asked if she could stay a while longer, she didn't really want to be alone just yet, and she didn't want to get between Ryou and Keppei, with their wedding around the corner, and she'd felt a bit awkward last time she spent the night there. Part of me was glad she was so comfortable with us, while another part wondered why she wasn't worried about getting between Kotomi and I.
The Furukawa's had hoped to have the funeral as soon as possible, but due to the unexplained nature of Negisa's illness there had to be a post mortem, This revealed that she had two small tumours in her brain, one was in the hypothalamus and another in the medulla oblongata. These could interfere with her ability to regulate her body temperature and suppress her breathing and heartbeat. With the small size of the tumours and their location, it would be hard to spot on a scan, even if they were somehow found, there was nothing that could have been done about it.
This meant that the incident when Negisa was found out in the snow was not responsible for her ongoing illness, it was only responsible worsening her odds of survival during that first episode, hopefully this information can help the Furukawas find some peace.
They were finally able to hold the funeral ten days after her death. Once again, I had Kotomi crying in one shoulder and Kyou on the other. Akio struggled to hold is emotions in check as he stood at front of the chapel to give his daughter's eulogy.
"For most of her life Negisa was weak, and she fell ill often, but in her final year of school she made some friends, these people supported her, and helped her achieve her dream of resurrecting the theatre club and helped her stay well enough to graduate, but most of all these people loved her. That year was the happiest of her school life. When Negisa did fall ill again, her fiends were always at her side."
"Negisa often said that if it wasn't for one person, she would have had none of this. When Negisa couldn't find the courage to keep going forward, one person gave her the push she needed, this person introduced her to the friends she treasured until her last day. When we arrived at the hospital and nobody would tell us what was happening, the same person stayed calm enough to get us the information we needed."
"Thanks to Okazaki Tomoya, when my daughter died, she was surrounded by friends, Sanae and I owe him more than I can ever repay."
Akio's speech more than I could bare, the dam holding back my tears broke and for the first time since Negisa passed away I was able to grieve, to say good bye to my tardy buddy.
The wake was as a wake should be, cathartic, there were a few tears, but plenty of laughs too, we shared stories from the theatre club and beyond, like the way she always greeted you like she hadn't seen you in ages, and the way her face almost spontaneously combusted the first time Kotomi excitedly ambush kissed me without realising anyone else was in the room, Kotomi's only defence being 'But I missed him' Sanae and Kyou fussed over Kotomi constantly throughout the evening. Sanae I could understand, but Kyou's attentiveness was a surprise, they'd spent a lot of time together in the week Kyou had stayed with us, maybe she was just a little broody.
A week later and life was finally starting to feel somewhat normal again, until Kyou phoned.
"Tomoya~ can I ask you for a favour?"
"This is going to either, really expensive or an enormous pain in the butt, isn't it?"
"Well~" we're definitely in for it now. "You see, it's about Ryou."
"Is there a problem with the wedding arrangements?"
"You could say that, yes."
"Okay, what can we do to help?"
"Could you put Ryou up for a few nights?"
"Yeah, of course, why?"
"Why do you say that like I asked you a really dumb question?"
"It probably has something to do with the fact you asked a really dumb question."
"Why did even ask?"
"I have no idea."
"Rhetorical question Tomoya. What was I saying?"
"Ryou needs a bed for a few nights."
"Right, yes, it's really complicated so I'll explain when we get there, but put simply, the wedding is off."
'Seriously, how can she drop a bombshell like that and then hang up?'
Half an hour later and the twins were at the door with two suitcases and lots of tears.
We sat in the lounge as Kotomi cuddled the distraught Ryou.
"Alright Kyou, lets hear it. I don't think we're getting anything useful from Ryou for a bit."
"Yeah." Kyou watched as Kotomi gently stroked Ryou's hair and slowly rocked back and forth. "She's really good at that isn't she."
"Yeah, she been practising."
"Why? And with who?" Kyou gave me a horrified look.
"No, not me. Her teddy bear, she read in one of her mothering books that rocking can help calm an upset baby."
"Do you have any pictures, that's got to be the most adorable things in history."
"Yes, I have pictures and no you can't see them."
"Oh come on, you can't dangle that in front of me and then say I can't see."
"Kyou-chan, please could you keep your voice down, Ryou-chan is sleeping."
"How did you manage that, she kept me up until three in the morning?"
"What can I say, that teddy bear is her second favourite thing to cuddle."
"Second? What's the favourite thing?"
"Me, duh."
"I can't believe I just asked that."
"Neither can I to be honest, as much as I love bit of banter. What's the deal with Ryou?
"Well, she rang me the other day and said she thought she was pregnant."
"Whoops."
"You don't know the half of it. So, she did a home test kit, and it came back as positive."
"Okay with you so far."
"Obviously, she had to tell Keppei, we both thought he'd be at least a little bit happy."
"But he wasn't?"
"He really, really wasn't, he said that, she should have been more careful and he's not ready yet."
"Not ready yet? How long was he expecting her to wait? And why was she the only one who had to be careful?"
"I thought the same thing, he wanted to wait five to six years, at least."
"Ouch, I know Ryou was after starting right away wasn't she."
"I know that, even you know that, how could he not know it too?"
"Maybe he just thought she was feeling that way because Kotomi got pregnant."
"Seems a bit naive but it's possible, did you guys discuss kids before you got married?"
"We did, but we only waited because I was studying, we were both ready emotionally already. It's also possible he doesn't actually want kids at all, and he was hoping Ryou would change her mind or give up after a couple of years."
"Yeah you could be right."
"Okay so Keppei freaked out, then what?"
"It kind of forced the 'how long do I have to wait to have a baby' conversation, the result was he decided that he wasn't right for her and he called it all off. It did turn out to be a false alarm, but the damage is already done."
"Poor Ryou, she's had a really crappy week, hasn't she?"
"I'm not finished yet either. Do you remember how my Dad reacted when she wanted to move in with him?"
"Kyou, there are Amazonian pygmies that know how he felt about it."
"Exactly, so, Ryou made a deal with our parents that enabled her to move in with him."
"I'm guessing this deal is why she's here and not back at home."
"Yeah, she had to promise not to have sex until after the wedding. I actually think getting engaged was part of it too, but Ryou wouldn't admit that it was. If she broke this promise… she would not be permitted to return home."
"Seems a bit harsh."
"I agree but she agreed to it. That's why I was so surprised when she said she might be pregnant."
"To be honest I'm more surprised your parents made the deal to begin with. Why do you think I never moved in here until after we got married? Temptation can pile up on you, and living together alone, you never have anyone or anything to tell you to cool off or you'll make a mistake you can't take back, and when you do slip it's easy to rationalise and say 'who does it hurt' I just think you're asking for trouble really, but don't tell Ryou I said that, she'd just get more upset."
"I never expected you be so mature about all this stuff."
"I could try and explain but it'd get a bit mushy."
"Alright Dad, share your wisdom with me."
"You asked for it, Pretty much before we started dating I felt that Kotomi was who I was meant to be with, that feeling only got stronger once we started dating, even then she was already precious to me, we just 'fit' and when it came to anything sexual Kotomi was and to my mind still is innocent, not naive or ill-informed but innocent. And I knew I'd never forgive myself if I did anything to harm that, so I did my best to limit temptation where I could."
"I had no idea you were such a romantic."
"Tomoya can be very romantic."
"Yeah I can see that. I think I can see why you two are still so mushy with each other."
"Does that mean you'll stop teasing me about it?"
"Don't be ridiculous, you have a habit of saying really embarrassing things with a totally straight face. So, I think you need reminding when you're embarrassing people."
"I embarrass other people when I say romantic things about my wife?"
"Do you seriously not see that?"
"I'm not sure I follow, why would they be embarrassed?"
"Because you two aren't normal, 99% of the people in the world don't have what you two think is totally normal. The rest of us don't 'fit' with one another the way you guys do, we have to work around the areas of ourselves that don't quite fit with the other, most of the time people don't notice that they do it. But then you two show up 'the perfect couple' and the way you 'fit' makes everyone else feel like they're doing something wrong or they aren't trying hard enough."
"I'm not sure how to feel about that."
"I am not sure either."
"Sorry guys I didn't mean to freak you out. Now I feel guilty."
"Let's just let that one go for now. Will your Dad hold Ryou to the deal, what with everything called off?"
"I really don't know for sure; he was really serious about it at the time."
"Have either of you spoken to him about it yet?"
"I have, briefly."
"How did he react?"
"He was furious, but I'm not really sure who he's angry with."
"Why hasn't Ryou spoken to him yet?"
"She wants to wait until she's a bit less emotional."
"That might not be the best tactic, she may be best served to talk to him sooner, you know, tug on the old heart strings a bit. Plus, if she doesn't speak to him soon enough, he could see it as avoiding responsibility, as much as Keppei may have talked her into it, she is still responsible for her own actions."
"I'll lead with the take responsibility bit, there's no way she'd go with tugging on heart strings."
"I didn't think she would honestly. But it's best to be aware, just in case that's what he thinks is happening."
"Yeah, thanks."
"Are you going to share with Ryou, or do you want your usual room?"
"I'll take my usual room, thanks, I love Ryou dearly, but she snores, and I didn't sleep much last night."
"Really, she seems alright now."
"Yes, but she got her head of Kotomi's lap now hasn't she, you just wait until she gets onto her back, you'll think there's a motorbike in the room."
"Onee-chan?"
"Sorry Ryou, did we wake you up?"
"Did you say you're getting a motorbike?"
"I'm thinking about it. But never mind that for now, Tomoya thinks you should go and speak to Dad tomorrow."
"But…
"Ryou, I get that you want to be able to look strong for you Dad, but I'm concerned that it could look like you're avoiding responsibility, he's more likely to be understanding of you getting upset than he is about taking responsibility late. If it comes to the worst and won't let you go home, you'll be welcome here for as long as you want, weeks, months, it really doesn't matter, so don't worry about that. Plus, it would be better for you to get it over with now, and deal with the consequences, than to worry for a few days and then have to deal with the consequences anyway." Ryou's lip began to tremble again.
'When did everyone start coming to me for advice?'
"You're all so good to me, and I don't…"
"OH no you don't, if you were about to say you don't deserve it, you're our friend and that's all there is to it." Ryou put her arms around my neck and sobbed while Kyou rubbed her back.
The following afternoon the twins returned with mixed results.
"Daddy said that I had to be responsible for my own mistakes and that being the case he would not allow me to move back home unless not doing so would leave me with nowhere to go, but he would not make me pay for any of the cancellation fees or other expenses from the wedding. He did say he would be having words with Keppei about that as it was not right for him to be able to just walk away without consequence." Ryou was a bit teary eyed but she was largely in control of her emotions. Apparently, he had be quite understanding about the whole thing, but he had never been one to coddle his children.
"Well Kotomi, it looks like we have ourselves a lodger, doesn't it?"
"Yes, it does Tomoya, it'll be nice to have someone that can help you do the housework."
"Wait, to help him with the house work." Kyou gave a rather incredulous look.
"Yes, and? You don't seriously think I'm going to let her do all that house work do you? She's pregnant for pity's sake."
"Not all of it no but…"
"Kyou-chan I have had the same discussion many times, and I have yet to convince him of his flawed reasoning."
"At the rate he's going in a couple of months you won't be allowed to use your own chopsticks."
"Hey, now there's a thought. Thanks, Kyou I'd never have thought of that."
"T-Tomoya-kun, I do not believe that Kyou-chan intended for her comment to be considered as a suggestion."
"She still uses the honorifics sometimes then."
"Only when she get's flustered."
"Ryou-chan, our baby is kicking, would you like to feel?"
"Oh yes please."
"Yeah, me too."
"Hey, what about me?"
"You'll have to catch the next one, this one's sold out." I was a faintly comical sight, Kotomi sitting on the sofa, with the twins kneeling down either side of her with their hand on her tummy. "Oh wow, she's really kicking, today isn't she?"
"I believe she is always the most excitable when Tomoya is teasing me, but I am unsure whether she is happy about her daddy's teasing or not."
"Oh, Kotomi-chan when did you find out you will be having a girl?"
"We have not been able to prove gender yet, but I am convinced that we are having a girl."
"It's much nicer saying her or she than 'it' anyway."
"Kotomi-chan, does it ever scare you? That you're going to be a mother soon I mean."
"I am sometimes anxious, but Tomoya always makes me feel better."
"You're so lucky, I was really scared when I thought I was pregnant, then Keppei just panicked, so then I was thinking what if I have to raise it alone."
"I think if we hadn't been trying to get pregnant, I'd be way less calm about it myself, so don't be too down on yourself, okay."
"Thank you, Tomoya-kun, for letting me stay too."
"I'm sure we'll be glad of some extra help as Kotomi gets… I mean as the pregnancy progresses."
"Nice save, Tomoya."
"Kotomi has actually been enjoying showing off her baby bump, it's got the mums at school talking that's for sure."
"Why would I dislike on oh the more prominent features of my pregnancy?"
"You've always had such a good figure I assumed you would have more of an issue with, you know getting bigger."
"But Tomoya like's my tummy, so I have no reason to dislike it myself."
"He likes your tummy?"
"I believe he sees it as a representation of his virility and sexual prowess."
"I'm not sure I'd have put it quite that way Kotomi."
"Yeah, you remember what I was saying about you guys embarrassing people."
"Oh! I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"
"Seriously? You're talking about your husband's sexual prowess and preferences, as though you're talking about going shopping." Kotomi just blinked, with a 'what are you talking about' look on her face. "But didn't she go bright red when she covered your eyes from behind and her boobs touched your back? How did we get from that, to this?"
"I have no idea, it's like someone flipped a switch when we got married."
"Why do I keep asking these kinds of questions?"
"I have no idea. Ryou, you can have the main bathroom to yourself, Kotomi tend to use the en-suite anyway, and I'll show you how to the washing machine tomorrow."
"Oh, thank you, I should be able to work out how to use the washing machine."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Kotomi chose it, it looks like something out of Star trek or something."
"It has the best filtration system on the market."
"Don't get me wrong, it does a great job, but I still need the instruction book sometimes."
"I still can't imagine you doing all the house work."
"Oh, Kyou, would you mind running Kotomi in to work in the morning?"
"Yeah sure."
"Tomoya, I do not need to be driven to work, I am quite capable of walking."
"So, you weren't complaining about a bad back and swollen ankles yesterday then?"
"But I am not an invalid."
"I know that angel, but why make life harder than it needs to be? Kyou practically goes past the lab anyway."
"Very well, I cannot refute your logic."
"I know I fuss over you a bit, but it'd kill me if anything happened to you and the baby."
"I think that's our signal Ryou, let's go jump in a bath and leave these two lovebirds alone for a bit."
Ryou had a tough time dealing with the break up, not surprising given she was days away from getting married. Keppei was remarkably spineless about the whole thing, he was conveniently 'busy' the day I took Ryou round to get the rest of her stuff and had tried to leave all of the calling around to cancel things and tell people not to come for the wedding to Ryou. Kyou and her father corrected him on this, and he was 'persuaded' that he should do all of this and pay half of any costs incurred.
It was nearly a month before I saw Ryou give what you call a proper smile, not the polite fragile one she had since the breakup. A week after that Kotomi had her first experience with Braxton Hicks contractions. She was into the third trimester now, so we had all sorts of fun things to deal with. Kotomi was having trouble sleeping which means I had trouble sleeping too and she needed to pee like every five minutes.
Kotomi still came to meet me after school, she was getting pretty big by now, so she was attracting a lot of attention from the parents that were there to collect their own children, this did create some awkward moments when a child asked why she got so fat. Little Kotori was fascinated by Kotomi's ever expanding tummy, although she was a bit startled when she felt the baby kick, Habane-san decided it was probably a good idea to have a little talk to her daughter. The following day is seems that Kotori was quite excited by the concept that Kotomi was going to have a baby and shared this fact with her class, this upshot of this was by the time I got out to the gate Kotomi was fielding questions with six or seven little girls, it was a little awkward when one of them asked how it got in there, and how would it get out? I was quite funny as I saw her father's shoulders slump, clearly, he was hoping to get away without giving her 'the talk' just yet.
With the difficulties Kotomi was beginning to have getting around we decided we should get a car, the only problem being, neither of us could drive. Kotomi found a short course that would get me my licence, she wanted to learn herself but when we were looking at cars she found that if she had the seat far enough back that her tummy wasn't in the way, she couldn't reach the pedals.
I was fine with going on the course but I wasn't so sure they should market it as a 'crash course' I did mean I had to go to lessons straight after work and I didn't get home until it was quite late, I was really glad Ryou was around to help Kotomi.
The day I passed my test Kotomi presented me a small box containing a key. We had looked at a few cars but I hadn't expected to just be presented with one. She had chosen it based on a high safety rating, lots of room in the back for a pram and lots of room in the passenger compartment, she chose the colour based on a statistical analysis of my age demographic.
It was an enormous red car, it was a bit intimidating as I'd been learning in a car that barely had four seats, don't get me wrong it was a really nice car, but it also really big.
Kotomi decided that she wanted to have a home birth, I was against it to begin with, but she produced a stack of research papers proving there was no statistical increase in risk, provided the mother didn't have any other pre-existing risk factors, so far Kotomi had no other complicating factors. She had apparently predicted my opposition to the idea. Sanae introduced us to a friend of hers who was a midwife and dealt with home births. Ryou also insisted that she would be there as well, just in case. Between the three of them they didn't leave me much room to object.
Not to put too finer point on it but Kotomi was getting pretty big by now, she was pretty petite before she got pregnant, so it showed all the more. She was getting tired much more easily so she would have a nap before dinner most days.
One evening she plodded into the kitchen still looking quite sleepy, she wrapped her arms around my bicep and rested her head on my shoulder.
"Tomoya, have you had any further thoughts on baby names?"
"I keep coming back to the idea of using either your mother or fathers name, nothing else is really grabbing me, what about you, any ideas?"
"I did have one thought, if we do have a girl, how would you feel about calling her Negisa?"
"Hmm that's a nice idea actually, but let me run the idea past Akio first, Sanae is still quite delicate on the subject and I don't want to upset her by asking."
"Thank you, that would be best." I spoke to Akio about it, he was quite pleased with the idea, so he said he would do what he could prepare Sanae. We went by the following Sunday for dinner, we'd been doing the same thing most weeks since the funeral so it wouldn't seem too out of the ordinary.
"So Tomoya-san, Kotomi-chan, Akio-san says you wanted to talk to me about Negisa." There was a distinct catch in her voice, but she was soldiering on anyway.
"We wanted to ask you if you would be alright with us naming our baby Negisa if we have a girl."
"Oh, yes, yes please do, thank you so much, I… I…" She didn't manage to finish her sentence before the was holding on to Kotomi in floods of tears. I was worried we had upset her until I saw that although she was in tears, she was still smiling.
In the following weeks we saw a lot more of Sanae and Akio, Sanae would bring us baby clothes, little booties and hats she had knitted, but it was the small teddy bear that caught Kotomi's attention, she was crying at the drop of a hat at the moment so a teddy bear was more than enough to bring her to tears, Akio was a bit alarmed but Sanae took it in her stride.
Ryou had started looking for an apartment of her own, she was having trouble finding something within her budget and close enough to the hospital, she had returned from another unproductive day of searching, when Kotomi practically begged her not to leave yet. She was insistent that Ryou was very helpful to her and she would need even more support very soon. Ryou looked quite relieved and agreed but said that she needed to stand on her own two feet, so she would move out after the we had found our feet as parents.
With just a few weeks left before her due date Kotomi was getting restless, forever cleaning or reorganising the nursery. One evening I was trying to get dinner on as Kotomi was attempting to clean around me.
"Kotomi, you're making it quite difficult to cook you know."
"I am sorry, Tomoya, I am quite restless today."
"Why don't you go up to the study and read for a bit, that always calms you down."
"Thank you Tomoya, why did I not think of that?"
"Because your brain is awash with hormones and you haven't been sleeping. Now off you go, I'll call you when dinner is ready." She nodded and waddled off to the study.
An hour later.
"Kotomi! Dinner!" No sign of movement. "Kotomi!?"
"TOMOYA-KUN I NEED YOU!" My brain ran wild throwing worst case scenarios at me, as I ran up the stairs three steps at a time. I burst in to the study.
"Kotomi! Are you okay? What happened? Are you okay!?" Kotomi was sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by a ring of books just like she did in the school library.
"I can not get up." Kotomi looked up at me with a pout on face I was sure I'd seen one of my students give me.
"What?"
"I am unable to get up off the floor." Relief washed over me, as I tried and mostly failed to stifle a laugh. This earned me a pout I had definitely seen at work.
"Alright, new rule, no sitting on the floor until after you've had the baby. My heart couldn't stand a repeat performance."
"What happened? Is the baby coming?" Ryou arrived, first aid kit in one hand and the phone in the other.
"No, it's alright, false alarm." Ryou seemed to guess what had happened, as I heaved Kotomi to her feet.
Over the following week Kotomi had two false alarms thanks to Braxton Hicks contractions. The one at 7pm wasn't so bad, 3am yeah that one was not so good. The midwife said it was all totally normal and not to worry. She dropped in a couple of days later to check on Kotomi. She told us that the baby had shifted position so, it would likely not be too much longer.
We got everything organised ready for the home birth, Kotomi was still in good shape and there were no additional risk factors. We had an area cleared in the bedroom and a mat laid out with towels, sterile water (Kotomi insisted it had to sterile) and a bunch of extra pillows.
I couldn't quite decide if I was nervous, excited or scared. Probably all three if I'm honest. Kotomi had taken to singing lullabies to the baby, it was quite a heart-warming sight, I just hope she doesn't start singing that damn Dango song.
2:30am
"Tomoya, wake up."
"Hmmm, yeah."
"Tomoya, wake up!"
"Yeah, I'm awake, what's up." I'm really not awake yet.
"My water has broken." Okay now I'm awake.
"Right! Err… what am I supposed to be doing here? Right! Midwife."
"There is no reason to panic Tomoya."
"Panicking, who's panicking, I'm not panicking." Kotomi just looked at me. "I'm panicking, aren't I? Right deep breaths. Call the midwife I'll get Ryou." 'That was a little embarrassing.' Ryou to the rescue.
"Kotomi-chan do you want to move or are you comfortable where you are for now."
"I believe I would like to move over to the mat."
"Is the midwife on the way?"
"Yes, she says she will be here in ten minutes."
"Good, I will go and get Tomoya-kun some coffee while he gets you comfortable."
'The woman is a saint, seriously'
True to her word, the midwife arrived in around 10 minutes.
"Okay, looks like Dad has got you all settled. Let's have a quick look ad see where we're up to. "
We still had a long way to go.
Kotomi alternated between pacing around the room and sitting and reading. It was horrible, having to watch her go through so much pain, it took about an hour of this before she officially entered the active phase. The contractions were a little less than five minutes apart now, and Kotomi really wanted to start pushing.
Three hours of panting, shouting and pushing later and we could finally see the head. Kyou had arrived, having decided that if she was going to spend the night chewing her nails and pacing around, she may as well do it here.
I felt like kind of a moron panting along with Kotomi and telling her to push. I had to dash to the toilet between contractions as Kotomi really, really didn't want to let go of my hand. Kyou stood in for me while I was gone as Ryou went to and fro with sports drinks for Kotomi and cold water to wet the flannel I was using to wipe Kotomi's forehead.
Another half an hour and the head was clear and one of the shoulders was almost out. The next few contractions were especially intense, but the first shoulder was out. we're almost there.
Once the other shoulder was out, Kotomi was almost euphoric with the relief, moments later and we had screaming baby girl, the midwife gave baby Negisa a quick wipe and check up before passing her to Kotomi, she then asked me if I wanted to cut the cord.
Once I had done that the midwife gave Kotomi an injection to help with the afterbirth and I went to meet my daughter.
The afterbirth went without a hitch and was all over in ten minutes. I could tell Kyou and Ryou were itching to have a hold of Negisa but there was no way Kotomi was going to let go just yet.
After a few minutes, the midwife took Negisa to one side to clean her up and make sure there were no problems, after that I got to hold my daughter for the first time, while Kotomi was cleaned up. It was an intensely emotional experience; I couldn't help but cry tears of joy. Only one thought was in my mind 'I'm a Dad.'
Kotomi fed Negisa for the first time and held her for about half an hour before tiredness got the better of her and she went to sleep.
It wasn't long before aunty Kyou and aunty Ryou were looking at me with hopeful eyes.
Kotomi and Negisa slept for a few hours before Negisa woke up needing to be changed, I was the lucky one who got to do the first nappy change, despite how immensely gross it was I was happy to do it, Akio and Sanae arrived within ten minutes of me calling to tell them Kotomi was ready for visitors, but they had to wait as Kotomi was feeding Negisa when they got here. I hadn't told them that we had a girl when I called them, Kotomi wanted to be the one to tell them. Akio was too emotional to speak when he was told that Negisa would be raised to think of them as grandparents, Sanae being the way she is had no issues expressing herself, as she held our daughter with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile I had seen since her own daughter died.
The rest of the day consisted of well-wishers dribbling in including my Dad, and phone calls from the friends that couldn't make it. Several bunches of flowers along with the inevitable stuffed toys now covered the dining room table. I did have to disappoint the majority of the visitors as I didn't think I was the best idea to have a baby that was less than a day old passed around like a parcel in a kid's party game, Kyou simply smirked at me while shaking her head.
She may have thought I was being overprotective, but that didn't stop her from using the exact same excuse to extend the time she had holding Negisa later on, she took every possible chance she could to hold her even if that meant changing nappies. Ryou on the other hadn't held Negisa very much, she did spend a lot of time with her, but seemed very nervous of holding her.
The new schedule we were forced into because of Negisa needing to feed every three hours was exhausting, I was really grateful I had a couple of weeks paternity leave, despite being exhausted Kotomi always looked so happy when she was feeding her daughter. By the end of my leave, Negisa would sleep for five hours in a block at night, unfortunately this still meant there was a 4am feeding, and then again at some time between 6 and 7am.