Time began to trip along much more quickly than before. School, work, and Julie—though not necessarily in that order—created a neat and effortless pattern to follow. And Charlie got his wish: I wasn't miserable anymore. Of course, I couldn't fool myself completely. When I stopped to be completely honest with myself I still wasn't over everything.
I had made so much progress over the last month, but I still would find myself feeling lost and confused. I threw myself into the life I was building for myself—the adrenaline rushes, the uninhibited adventurous attitude, and Julie.
I was getting better with my bike, which meant fewer bandages to worry Charlie. The voice was finally starting to fade, until I didn't hear it anymore. I felt a sense of relief when the voice had finally gone away but I knew I still hadn't found my closure. I still wanted to find the meadow and create true closure for myself.
I didn't keep track of the days that passed—there was no reason, as I tried to live as much in the present as possible, no past fading, no future impending. So I was surprised by the date when Julie brought it up on one of our homework days. She was waiting when I pulled up in front of her house.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Julie said, smiling, but ducking her head as she greeted me.
She held out a small, pink box, balancing it on her palm. Conversation hearts.
"Well, I feel like a schmuck," I mumbled. "Is today Valentine's Day?"
Julie shook her head with mock sadness. "You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do."
I started blushing. The words were teasing, but only on the surface.
"What exactly does that entail?" I asked, still red.
"The usual—slave for life, that kind of thing."
"Oh, well, if that's all…" I took the candy. "I guess I'm your Valentine, then."
Her eyes sparkled and she grinned so wide I couldn't help but blush further.
"So what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking, or the ER?"
"Hiking," I decided. "You're not the only one who can be obsessive. I'm starting to think I imagined that place…" I frowned into space.
"We'll find it," she assured me. "Bikes Friday?" she offered.
I was starting to grow wary of the bikes; despite my improvement I was still sore from the last mishap. Besides, I suddenly remembered something when she mentioned Friday.
"Oh, I think I'm going to a movie Friday. I've been promising my cafeteria crowd that I would go out forever…" I sighed.
Julie's face fell. I caught the expression in her dark eyes before she dropped them to look at the ground.
"Will you come?" I asked quickly. "Or would it be too much of a drag with a bunch of boring seniors?" I couldn't stand hurting Julie; we seemed connected in a way, and her pain set off little stabs of my own. Besides, the idea of going with Julie to the movies was much preferred than going with Makayla.
"You'd like me to come, with your friends there?"
"Of course," I smiled, and she beamed. "I'll have a lot more fun if you're there. Bring Quil, and we'll make it a party."
"Quil's gonna freak. Prospective seniors." She chortled and rolled her eyes. I didn't mention Embry, and neither did she.
I laughed, too. "I'll try to get him a good selection."
I broached the subject with Makayla in English.
"Hey, Makayla," I said when class was over. "Are you still free Friday night?"
She looked up, her blue eyes instantly hopeful. "Yeah, I am. You want to go out?"
I worded my reply carefully. "I was thinking about getting a group"—I gently emphasized the word—"together to go see Crosshairs." I'd done my homework this time—nothing scary in this one. "Does that sound like fun?"
"Sure," she agreed, visibly less eager.
"Cool."
After a second she perked back up to near her former excitement level. "How about we get Allen and Becca? Or Eric and Kyle?"
She was determined to make this some kind of double date, apparently.
"How about both?" I suggested. "And Jeremy, too, of course. And Taylor, Conner, and Lauren, and maybe Logan," I tacked on grudgingly. I had promised Quil variety.
"Okay," Makayla muttered, foiled.
"And," I continued, "I've got a couple friends from La Push I'm inviting. So it sounds like we'll need your Suburban if everyone comes."
Makayla's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"These are the friends you spend all your time studying with now?"
"Yep, the very ones," I answered cheerfully. "They're all really great. Juniors."
"Oh," Makayla said, still put out.
In the end, though, the Suburban wasn't necessary.
Jeremy and Lauren already had plans that night, Jeremy especially was devastated that he wouldn't get to meet Julie. Logan claimed to be busy as soon as Makayla let it slip that I was involved with the planning. Eric and Kyle were also busy—some sort of special dinner. Logan got to Taylor and Conner before Makayla could, so those two were also busy. Even Quil was out—grounded for fighting at school. In the end, only Allen and Becca, and of course Julie, were able to go.
The diminished numbers only added to Makayla's anticipation. It was all she could talk about Friday.
"Are you sure you don't want to see Tomorrow and Forever instead?" she asked at lunch, naming the current romantic comedy that was ruling the box office. "Rotten Tomatoes gave it a better review."
"I want to see Crosshairs," I insisted. "I'm in the mood for an action movie."
"Okay." Makayla turned away, clearly frustrated.
When I got home from school, a very familiar car was parked in front of my house. Julie was leaning against the hood, a huge grin lighting up her face.
"No way!" I shouted as I jumped out of the truck. "You're done! I can't believe it! You finished the Rabbit!"
She beamed. "Just last night. This is the maiden voyage."
"Incredible." I held my hand up for a high five.
She smacked her hand against mine, but left it there, twisting her fingers through mine. "So do I get to drive tonight?"
"Definitely," I said, and then I sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm giving up—I can't top this one. So you win. You're oldest."
Sge shrugged, unsurprised. "Of course I am."
Makayla's Suburban chugged around the corner. I gently pulled my hand out of Julie's, and she made a face that I wasn't meant to see.
"I remember this girl" she said in a low voice as Makayla parked across the street. "The one who thought you were her girlfriend. Is she still confused?"
I sighed. "She's hard to discourage."
"Then again," Julie said thoughtfully, "sometimes persistence pays off."
"Sometimes it's really annoying, depending on who it's from."
Julie smirked at my words.
Makayla got out of her car and crossed the road.
"Hey, Bella," she greeted me, and then her eyes turned wary as she looked up at Julie. I glanced briefly at Julie, too, trying to be objective. She really didn't look like a junior at all. She was just so big—Makayla's head barely cleared Julie's shoulder—and then her face was older-looking than it used to be, even a month ago. Julie was undoubtedly beautiful.
"Hey, Makayla! Do you remember Julie Black?"
"Not really." Makayla held out her hand.
"Old family friend," Julie introduced herself, shaking hands.
They locked hands with more force than necessary. When their grip broke, Makayla flexed her fingers.
My phone started buzzing in my pocket.
"Sorry guys, one second—it might be Charlie," I told them, and stepped away back towards the house.
It was Becca. Allen was sick with the stomach flu, and she didn't feel like coming without him. She apologized for bailing on us.
I walked slowly back to my waiting friends, shaking my head. I really hoped Allen would feel better soon, but I had to admit that I was disappointed by this development. Just the three of us, Makayla and Julie and me, together for the evening—I already knew it was going to be awkward.
It didn't seem like Julie and Makayla had made any progress towards friendship in my absence. They were several yards apart, facing away from each other as they waited for me; Makayla's expression was sullen, though Julie's was cheerful as always.
"Allen is sick," I told them glumly. "He and Becca aren't coming."
"I guess the flu is making another round. Austin and Conner were out today, too. Maybe we should do this another time," Makayla suggested.
Before I could say anything, Julie spoke.
"I'm still up for it. But if you'd rather stay behind, Makayla—"
"No, I'm coming," Makayla interrupted. "I was just thinking of Allen and Becca. Let's go." She started toward her Suburban.
"Hey, do you mind if Julie drives?" I asked. "I told her she could—she just finished her car. She built if from scratch, all by herself," I bragged, oddly proud of how clever and handy Julie was.
"Fine," Makayla snapped.
"All right, then," Julie said, as if that settled everything. She seemed more comfortable than anyone else.
Makayla climbed into the backseat of the Rabbit with a disgusted expression.
Julie was her normal sunny self, chattering away until I'd all but forgotten about Makayla sulking in the back.
And then Makayla changed her strategy. She leaned forward, resting her chin on the shoulder of my seat; her cheek almost touched mine. I shifted away, turning my back toward the window.
"Doesn't the radio work in this thing?" Makayla asked with a hint of petulance, interrupting Julie mid-sentence.
"Yes," Julie answered. "But Bella doesn't really listen to music."
I stared at Julie, surprised. I'd never told her that.
"Bella?" Makayla asked, annoyed.
"she's right," I replied, still looking at Julie''s serene profile.
"How can you not listen to music?" Makayla demanded.
I shrugged. "I don't know. I'd just rather have good conversations, I guess."
"Hmph." Makayla leaned away.
When we got to the theatre, Julie pulled out a twenty-dollar bill.
"It's only ten." I objected.
"My treat." She smiled at me, and I blushed.
Makayla quickened her pace to keep up with us.
I almost wished that Makayla had decided to bow out. She was still so sullen—not much of an addition to the party. I wouldn't have minded if I had ended up alone with Julie.
The movie was definitely not a romance. In just the opening credits, four people got blown up and one got beheaded. The girl in front of me put her hands over her eyes and turned her face into her date's chest. He patted her shoulder, and winced occasionally, too. Makayla didn't look like she was watching. Her face was stiff as she glared toward the fringe of curtain above the screen.
I settled in to endure the two hours, apparently I enjoyed neither scary movies nor violent action films. I tried to watch the colors and the movement on the screen rather than seeing the shapes of people and cars and houses. But then Julie started sniggering.
"What?" I whispered.
"Oh, c'mon!" she hissed back. "The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy. How fake can you get?"
She chuckled again, as a flagpole speared another man into a concrete wall.
After that, I really watched the show, laughing with her as the mayhem got more and more ridiculous. I was becoming more and more aware of the blurring lines in my relationship with Julie. But I almost didn't care. How could I when I enjoyed being with her so much?
Both Julie and Makayla had claimed the armrests on either side of me. Both of their hands rested lightly, palms up, in an unnatural looking position. I was tempted to place my hand in Julie's, but here in the darkened movie theatre, with Makayla watching, it would only complicate things.
I passively placed my hands in my lap, at a loss for what to do.
Makayla gave up first. About halfway through the movie, she pulled her arm back, and leaned forward to put her head in her hands. At first I thought she was reacting to something on the screen, but then she moaned.
"Makayla, are you okay?" I whispered.
The couple in front of us turned to look at her as she groaned again.
"No," she gasped. "I think I'm sick."
I could see the sheen of sweat across her face in the light from the screen.
Makayla groaned again, and bolted for the door. I got up to follow her, and Julie copied me immediately.
"No, stay," I whispered. "I'm just going to make sure she's okay."
Julie came with me anyway.
"I'll be right back, I promise. I don't want you to miss out on the carnage," I insisted as we walked up the aisle.
"That's okay. You sure can pick them, Bella. This movie really sucks." Her voice rose from a whisper to its normal pitch as we walked out of the theater.
There was no sign of Makayla in the hallway, so Julie offered to check the bathroom.
Julie was back in a few seconds.
"Oh, she's in there, all right," she said, rolling her eyes. "What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker people vomit."
"I'll keep my eyes open for someone like that."
We were all alone in the hallway. Both theaters were halfway through the movie, and it was deserted—quiet enough for us to hear the popcorn popping at the concession counter in the lobby.
Julie went to sit on the velveteen-upholstered bench against the wall, patting the space beside her.
"She sounded like she was going to be in there for a while," she said, stretching her long legs out in front of her as she settled in to wait.
I joined her hesitantly. She looked like she was thinking about blurring more lines. Sure enough, as soon as I sat down, she shifted over to put her arm around my shoulders.
"Julie," I protested, I didn't know what it would mean if I let her do this—if I encouraged it. It was probably okay… right?
"What?" She smiled.
"I just…" I shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know." I felt my face turn red.
"Now, just a minute, Bella," she said in a calm voice. Her arm slid down around my waist, and she pulled me closer. "Tell me something."
I looked up at her warm, beautiful face, so close to mine. I must have looked like a tomato, I was blushing so red.
"What is it?" I breathed.
"You like me, right?"
"You know I do."
"Better than that joker puking her guts out in there?" She gestured toward the bathroom door.
"Yes."
"Better than any of the other girls you know?" She was calm, serene—as if she already knew the answer.
"Better than anyone, Jules," I pointed out.
"But that's all," she said, and it wasn't a question.
It was hard to answer, because I didn't know the answer myself. I decided to be honest.
"I don't know," I whispered.
She grinned down at me. "That's okay, you know. As long as you like me the best. And you think I'm good-looking—sort of. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistant."
"What if I can't move on?" I said, my honesty shocking me. I tried to keep my voice normal, but I could hear the sadness in it.
Her face was thoughtful, no longer teasing. "It's still the other one, isn't it?"
I sighed. She knew me so well. She picked up on so much about me that I never said.
"You don't have to talk about it," she told me.
I nodded, grateful.
"But don't get mad at me for hanging around ok?" Julie squeezed me gently. "Because I'm not giving up. I've got loads of time."
"Is that fair though?" I sighed. "For me to make you waste your time on me?" It wasn't fair, but I wanted her to. Especially if she was willing to accept me the way I was—a work in progress.
"It's what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me."
"I can't imagine how I could not like being with you," I told her honestestly.
Julie beamed. "I can live with that."
"Can you?" I sighed.
She took my hand in hers, and stroked the back of my hand with her thumb.
"Is this okay?" She said, softly.
"Yes," I replied, leaning my head against her shoulder. Truthfully, it felt nice. Her hand was so warm. So human.
"And you don't care what she thinks." Julie jerked her head toward the bathroom.
"I guess not."
"So what's holding you back?"
"I don't know," I sighed. "Maybe I'll never get better, Julie. Maybe I'll never get over her it's more than regular human love I can't explain it. I can't ask you to be okay with that."
"Well." She tightened her hand around mine. "That's my problem, isn't it?"
"I suppose."
She rested her head on top of mine and began absently tracing designs against the side of my hand with her little finger.
"That's a funny scar you've got there," she suddenly said, turning my hand to examine it. "How did that happen?"
Her index finger followed the line of the long silvery crescent that was barely visible against my pale skin.
I frowned. "Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars come from?"
I waited for the memories to hit—to flood me with the lingering pain. But Julie's presence kept them away.
"It's cold," she murmured, pressing lightly against the place where James had cut me with his teeth.
She lifted my hand to her lips, and kissed it gently. My face turned red all over again.
And then Makayla stumbled out of the bathroom, her face ashen and covered in sweat. She looked horrible.
"Oh, Makayla," I gasped.
"Do you mind leaving early?" she whispered.
"No, that's… fine." I reluctantly pulled myself away from Julie and went to help Makayla walk. She looked unsteady.
"Movie too much for you?" Julie teased.
Makayla's glare was malevolent. "I didn't actually see any of it," she mumbled. "I was nauseated before the lights went down."
"Why didn't you say something?" I scolded as we staggered toward the exit.
"I was hoping it would pass," she said.
"Just a sec," Julie said as we reached the door. She walked quickly back to the concession stand.
"Could I have an empty popcorn bucket?" she asked the salesgirl. She looked at Makayla once, and then thrust a bucket at Julie.
"Get her outside, please," she begged. She was obviously the one who would have to clean the floor.
I towed Makayla out into the cool, wet air. She inhaled deeply. Julie was right behind us. She helped me get Makayla into the back of the car, and handed her the bucket with a serious gaze.
"Please," was all Julie said.
We rolled down the windows, letting the icy night air blow through the car, hoping it would help Makayla. I curled my arms around my legs to keep warm.
"Cold, again?" Julie asked, putting her arm around me before I could answer.
"You're not?"
She shook her head.
"You must have a fever or something," I grumbled. It was freezing. I touched my fingeres to her forehead, and her head was hot.
"Julie—you're burning up!"
"I feel fine." She shrugged. "Fit as a fiddle."
I frowned and touched her head again. Her skin blazed under my fingers.
"Your hands are like ice," she complained.
"Maybe it's me," I allowed.
Makayla groaned in the backseat, and threw up in the bucket. I grimaced, hoping my own stomach could stand the sound and smell. Julie checked anxiously over her shoulder to make sure her car wasn't defiled.
The road felt longer on the way back.
Julie was quiet, thoughtful. She left her arm around me, and it was so warm that the cold wind felt good.
I stared out the windshield, grappling with my conflicting emotions.
It was wrong to encourage Julie. Pure selfishness. It didn't matter that, if I was being honest with myself, I wanted her to wait. That, just like her, I felt hope that this could turn into something beyond friendship.
How could I explain so that she would understand? That I was still working through so much and I still had a long way to go before I was better. Sure, it sounded simple in those terms but it was far worse. How could I explain my desperate, almost consuming, need for closure? How could I explain the phantom voice threatening to burst into my mind and undo all my hard work? How could I explain the nightmare? Maybe I was too broken to be fixed.
Yet I knew that I couldn't stand to send Julie away. I needed her too much, as selfish as that was. I was scared to tell her how deep my hurt went. Who would want to deal with that? I could explain it all, and she would leave. The thought made me shudder, and Julie tightened her arm around me. And I, despite myself, leaned into her.
I drove Makayla home in her Suburban, while Julie followed behind us to take me home. Julie was quiet all the way back to my house, and I wondered if she was changing her mind about everything.
"I would invite myself in, since we're early," She said as we pulled up next to my truck. "But I think you might be right about the fever. I'm starting to feel a little… strange."
"Oh no, not you, too! Do you want me to drive you home?"
"No." She shook her head, her eyebrows pulling together. "I don't feel sick yet. Just… wrong. If I have to, I'll pull over."
"Will you call me as soon as you get in?" I asked anxiously.
"Sure, sure." She frowned, staring ahead into the darkness and biting her lip.
I wrapped my arms around her neck. She was burning up. I hesitantly pulled away and opened my door to get out, but she caught my hand gently and held me there. Her skin was burning against mine.
"What is it, Julie?" I asked.
"There's something I want to tell you, Bella… But I think it's going to sound kind of corny."
I caught my breath. "Go head."
"It's just that, I know you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down—I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?"
"I know, Julie. I know that. It doesn't sound that corny." I smiled.
The smile broke across her face the way the sunrise set the clouds on fire, and I felt warmth spread through me. I felt a twinge of fear, not that she would hurt me but that I would hurt her.
A strange look crossed her face. "I really think I'd better go home now," she said.
I got out quickly.
"Call me!" I yelled as she pulled away.
I watched her go, and she seemed to be in control of the car, at least. I stared at the empty street when she was gone, feeling sick myself, but not for any physical reason.
How much I wished that I could just be with Julie Black, so that I wouldn't have to put her through this—this waiting, this hoping for something that, for all either of us knew, may never come. She had been perfect—more wonderful than I could have asked or hoped for. She had done everything right. So why couldn't I just be with her? What was holding me back?
I had never meant to love her. One thing I truly knew—knew it in the pit of my stomach, knew it deep in my very being—was how love gave someone the power to break you.
I'd already been broken so much.
But I did love Julie. What had started as a rekindled friendship had gone so much further than I ever expected, and I was in deeper that I'd planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn't bear for her to be hurt, and I feared that I would be the one to hurt her. She would wait for me, and I didn't know if that would be enough, but I wanted her to I also knew I'd never love anyone as much as I loveher.
She was my best friend and I loved her.
I went inside to sit by the phone and bite my nails.
"Movie over already?" Charlie asked in surprise when I came in. He was on the floor, just a foot from the TV. Must be an exciting game.
"Makayla got sick," I explained. "Some kind of stomach flu."
"You okay?"
"I feel fine now," I said doubtfully. Clearly, I'd been exposed.
I rested myself in the armchair, my hand on my phone, and tried to wait patiently. I thought of the strange look on Julie's face before she drove away, and my fingers started drumming against the smooth screen of the phone. I should have insisted on driving her home.
I watched the clock as the minutes ticked by. Ten. Fifteen. Even when I was driving, it only took fifteen minutes, and Julie drove faster than I did. Eighteen minutes. I picked up my phone and dialed.
It rang and rang. Maybe Billy was asleep. Maybe I'd hit the wrong name. I tried again.
On the eighth ring, just as I was about to hang up, Billy answered.
"Hello?" he asked. His voice was wary, like he was expecting bad news.
"Billy, it's me, Bella—did Julie make it home yet? She left here about twenty minutes ago."
"She's here," Billy said tonelessly.
"She was supposed to call me." I felt a mix of relief and irritation. "She was getting sick when she left, and I was worried."
"She was… too sick to call. She's not feeling well right now." Billy sounded distant. I realized he must want to be with Julie.
"Let me know if you need any help," I offered. "I could come down." I thought of Billy, stuck in his chair, and Julie fending for herself….
"No, no," Billy said quickly. "We're fine. Stay at your place."
The way he said it was almost rude.
"Okay," I agreed.
"Bye, Bella."
The line disconnected.
"Bye," I muttered.
Well, at least she'd made it home. Oddly, I didn't feel less worried. I trudged up the stairs, fretting. Maybe I would go down before work tomorrow to check on her. I could take soup— we had to have a can of Campbell's around here somewhere.
I realized all such plans were canceled when I woke up early— my clock said four thirty— and sprinted to the bathroom. Charlie found me there a half hour later, lying on the floor, my cheek pressed against the cold edge of the bathtub.
He looked at me for a long moment.
"Stomach flu," he finally said.
"Yes," I moaned.
"You need anything?" he asked.
"Call the Newtons for me, please," I instructed hoarsely. "Tell them I have what Makayla has, and that I can't make it in today. Tell them I'm sorry."
"Sure, no problem," Charlie assured me.
I spent the rest of the day on the bathroom floor, sleeping for a few hours with my head on a crumpled up towel. Charlie claimed that he had to work, but I suspected that he just wanted access to a bathroom. He left a glass of water on the floor beside me to keep me hydrated.
It woke me up when he came back home. I could see that it was dark in my room— after nightfall. He clumped up the stairs to check on me.
"Still alive?"
"Sort of," I said.
"Do you want anything?"
"No, thanks."
He hesitated, clearly out of his element. "Okay, then," he said, and then he went back down to the kitchen.
I heard the phone ring a few minutes later. Charlie spoke to someone in a low voice for a moment, and then hung up.
"Makayla feels better," he called up to me.
Well, that was encouraging. She'd only gotten sick eight hours or so before me. Eight more hours. The thought made my stomach turn, and I pulled myself up to lean over the toilet.
I fell asleep on the towel again, but when I woke up I was in my bed and it was light outside my window. I didn't remember moving; Charlie must have carried me to my room— he'd also put the glass of water on my bedside table. I felt parched. I chugged it down, though it tasted funny from sitting stagnant all night.
I got up slowly, trying not to trigger the nausea again. I was weak, and my mouth tasted horrible, but my stomach felt fine. I looked at my clock.
My twenty-four hours were up.
I didn't push it, eating nothing but saltine crackers for breakfast. Charlie looked relieved to see me recovered.
As soon as I was sure that I wasn't going to have to spend the day on the bathroom floor again, I called Julie.
Julie was the one who answered, but when I heard her greeting I knew she wasn't over it.
"Hello?" Her voice was broken, cracking.
"Oh, Jules," I groaned sympathetically. "You sound horrible."
"I feel horrible," she whispered.
"I'm so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."
"I'm glad I went. I got to be with you." Her voice was still a whisper. "Don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault."
"You'll get better soon," I promised. "I woke up this morning, and I was fine."
"You were sick?" she asked dully.
"Yes, I got it, too. But I'm fine now."
"That's good." Her voice was dead.
"So you'll probably be better in a few hours," I encouraged.
I could barely hear her answer. "I don't think I have the same thing you did."
"Don't you have the stomach flu?" I asked, confused.
"No. This is something else."
"What's wrong with you?"
"Everything," she whispered. "Every part of me hurts."
The pain in her voice was nearly tangible.
"What can I do, Julie? What can I bring you?"
"Nothing. You can't come here." She was abrupt. It reminded me of Billy the other night.
"I've already been exposed to whatever you have," I pointed out.
She ignored me. "I'll call you when I can. I'll let you know when you can come down again."
"Julie—"
"I've got to go," she said with sudden urgency.
"Call me when you feel better."
"Right," she agreed, and her voice had a strange, bitter edge.
She was silent for a moment. I was waiting for her to say goodbye, but she waited too.
"I'll see you soon," I finally said
"Wait for me to call," she said again.
"Okay.… Bye, Jules."
"Bella," she whispered my name, and then hung up the phone.
yeah in this version Bella is aware of her feelings for Julie and not leading her on shes just really scared