A/N: Surprise! Here's a completely random update, one that almost crosses into crack-fic territory (though I reined it in enough so it's still definitely canon in this verse, and hopefully not overly ridiculous).
It's primary election day in Illinois, so while standing in line at my polling place in Chicago I had a random idea for a civic duty-related event in this verse, so, here you go! But fair warning: this entire idea was outlined in while I was waiting for an electronic ballot machine to open up, and I wrote it quickly over my lunch break at work in about a half hour, so it's far from my best work. But, I wanted to post it anyway, and it was oddly entertaining to write, so hopefully it'll be at least moderately enjoyable to read :P I promise future updates will be back to my usual quality of writing haha.
Tuesday, March 20. 8am.
"This is fucking ridiculous," Emma mumbles as she enters the revolving doors of the district courthouse. "I can't believe we have to do this."
"Believe me, I'm not happy about it, either," Regina concurs as they wait in line at the metal detectors just beyond the entrance. "Hopefully, we won't be here long. Maybe they won't even need us."
"God willing," Emma replies as she puts her cellphone and watch in the basket and hands her purse over to the guard so he can make sure she's not smuggling any contraband into the city building.
"Rings, too," he says, eying the diamond band on her finger.
"One ring will set this off?" she asks, looking suspiciously at the metal detector in front of her.
"Yes. We take safety very seriously here, ma'am. In the bin."
She huffs as she takes off her ring, carefully placing it in the basket as she looks over at Regina, who is removing her own rings in the line next to her. The blonde walks through the device without much ado and quickly puts her wedding ring and watch back on, shoving the cellphone into her back pocket.
She waits patiently for Regina, who sets off the alarm and is directed to the side for a manual wand inspection by the guard. As the guard waves the handheld device over Regina, it begins beeping loudly as it passes across her stomach. Emma can't help but chuckle as she watches the guard motion for Regina to move into a private room for an additional inspection, but the brunette holds up her hand with a roll of her eyes. She quickly mutters, "that won't be necessary," untucking her maroon button-up blouse from her black pencil skirt, revealing the offending piece of metal that set off the device — a small, sapphire gemstone in her navel, the result of a drunken night when she was 19 that she hasn't bothered to permanently remove yet. (And she probably won't, because she knows Emma finds it sexy). The guard nods when he sees she's not hiding anything dangerous and waves her along toward her destination.
"It's a good thing you don't have your nipples pierced," Emma whispers as Regina joins her, following the signs down the hall. "That would've been awkward."
"Please. That would've been the most exciting thing to happen to him at work all week," Regina responds, sending what she intends to be an annoyed glare to her wife, but she can't help but be slightly amused by it. "Here we are," she says as they find their designated room. A sign reading Jury Duty Check-In is written in barely legible handwriting on the door. "You know, you would think that they would have an actual sign, since they presumably do this every day. Where are our tax dollars going if they can't even afford one?"
"I don't think you want to know the answer to that question," Emma replies as she opens the door and gestures for Regina to enter. The blonde follows Regina to two seats in the back of the room and raises an eyebrow in question as she sits down. Usually Regina hates sitting in the back of any room, so she's thrown off by her selection.
"I'm hoping maybe they'll just go in order, and then by the time they get to us, they won't need us," Regina explains.
"I don't think that's how this works…"
"So how does it work?"
"I have no idea. I haven't done this before. I always managed to get out of showing up because I was away at school."
"Yeah, I figured I'd be able to get out of it as a physician, but apparently unless you're actively saving someone's life, that doesn't matter," Regina says.
"Alright, everyone," a voice says from the front of the room. They look up to see a bored-looking city employee at the front of the room, who quickly explains the plan for the morning. They have all been assigned numbers, and if they're randomly selected, then they will have to stick around for the next phase; otherwise, they'll collect their meager payment for showing up and be able to leave.
*.*.*
They are both required to stay through the first two rounds of cuts. It's nearly 11:15 in the morning, and they are escorted down the hall into a courtroom with a few dozen other potential jurors for the voir dire portion of the morning. If they're not dismissed during this process, then they will be required to be on call for the trial scheduled to begin the next morning.
"Any last minute suggestions as to how to get out of this?" Emma asks Regina as they shuffle into the courtroom. "Can they even put both of us on the same jury? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?"
"You can't be forced to testify against me if one day I snap and kill Cora, but I don't think there's a law that prevents us from being on the same jury," Regina rolls her eyes as they take a seat near the back.
The bailiff, an objectively handsome man named Graham, enters the room and quickly explains the procedure. "The prosecutor and defense attorney will ask questions to each of you. If they don't object to having you as a juror, then you may be called for service tomorrow morning. If either lawyer has a concern, then you may be excused," he says. "Any questions?"
The room is silent, and no one raises a hand.
"Very well, then. We will bring in the judge and attorneys in a moment so they can be introduced, and then you will all go to the holding room next door to wait for your turn. Out of respect to your privacy, your interviews with the lawyers and judge will be conducted one at a time. Please answer every question honestly, as you are in a court of law," Graham explains in his accented voice.
A soft knock is heard on the door behind him, and he straightens his posture even more.
"All rise," he commands, and everyone in the courtroom rises as the judge enters the room, followed by the two attorneys. "The Honorable Charles Midas will be presiding over this process this morning and the case," he continues.
Emma tries to pay attention, but out of the corner of her eye, she sees a subtle smirk on Regina's face. "What is it?" she whispers.
Regina shakes her head and bites back a laugh. "Nothing…"
Emma looks at her skeptically before returning her focus to the front of the courtroom, where the two young attorneys are standing on their respective sides of the room.
"The prosecutor on this case is Assistant District Attorney Mr. Robin Locksley," Graham announces, introducing the blonde man to his right. "And the defense attorney is Ms. Ruby Lucas," he continues, gesturing to the beautiful brunette on his left.
Both attorneys quickly introduce themselves and thank everyone for showing up for jury duty. Judge Midas then jumps in and briefly and objectively provides an overview of the case — a nineteen year old college student who is accused of involuntary manslaughter of his fraternity brother.
"Yikes," Emma says under her breath. She had assumed that it would be some sort of petty theft or minor bar fight, not a case involving the death of another person.
"At this time, you may exit the courtroom until you are called for your interview," Judge Midas explains.
Emma stands to exit, but Regina quickly grabs her wrist, halting her. "What?" the blonde asks, glancing down at the hand around her wrist before she looks at her wife.
"Stay back for a second," Regina orders.
"What? Why? I don't think this is the time or place to disregard a judge's instructions," Emma says, confusion evident in her voice.
"Do you want to get out of this or not?" Regina asks with a slightly irritated tilt of her head.
"Um, yes, but what are you doing? I don't want to be thrown in jail for contempt of court," she harshly whispers.
"Relax, you won't be. Just follow me and don't say anything," she says as she stands up and approaches the bailiff at the small gate separating the gallery of the courtroom from the attorney's tables. "Excuse me, Graham?" she says politely. "I just became aware of a conflict of interest that would prohibit my wife and me from serving on the jury."
"Oh?" he asks, his eyes slowly roaming each woman before he looks between the pair, a salacious grin on his face.
Regina holds back an eye roll, knowing exactly what is going through his mind. She plays along and takes Emma's hand in hers as she continues. "Yes. May I please have a minute to speak to the judge?"
"You'll get your chance in the interview, just like everyone else," Graham says with disdain.
"Is there a problem, bailiff?" Judge Midas asks from his seat at the bench.
"No, Your Honor. Just two women trying to get out of jury duty. I'm just reminding them they'll have their opportunity to present their flimsy excuse during their interviews."
"Your Honor," Regina says boldly. "If I can have just a moment of your time, I can make this quick and save everyone a lot of time today."
Both attorneys look over at the brunette, surprised by her outspokenness. Ruby's eyes go wide, while Robin appraises the couple in front of him.
"Very well. We're not scheduled to begin for another few minutes. Make this quick," he says in exasperation.
"Thank you, Your Honor. My wife and I have a conflict of interest," she begins, looking over at the blonde who seems just as confused as everyone else in the room.
"And that would be…?" Judge Midas asks.
"Well, perhaps I should start by introducing myself. I'm Dr. Regina Mills, daughter of Henry and Cora Mills," she says, managing to keep her smirk contained as recognition crosses Judge Midas' face.
"I see. Well, Dr. Mills, I don't see why that precludes you from serving on the jury. Surely you can be impartial."
"I'm sorry, but what is the issue here?" Assistant. D.A. Locksley asks from his seat at the table. "If there's a history here, we need to know."
The judge quickly speaks up. "I knew Regina's mother years ago, when she and I were in law school."
"I would say it went a bit farther than that," Regina adds. "He and my mother dated," she explains.
"Very briefly," Judge Midas interjects.
"During a time when my parents were briefly separated. They had called off their engagement because of my mother's affair with Judge Midas," Regina continues. "But my parents eventually got back together."
"Yes, well, that was nearly than 40 years ago. You weren't even born yet. It hardly prevents you from being impartial to the defendant's case," he explains. He then turns to address both attorneys, along with Regina. "Judges oversee trials all the time where the lawyers before them are former classmates and friends…certainly a juror shouldn't be an issue."
"I have no objection to that," Robin states.
"Regina, you're making this worse," Emma whispers, afraid that Regina pissing off the judge basically guarantees that they will be forced to serve.
"That may very well be true," Regina continues to address the judge, ignoring her wife's words of caution. "As my general dislike of you on my deceased father's behalf may not impact the defendant's case."
"Good God, we're screwed," Emma mumbles under her breath, running a hand through her hair.
"But, there's more, which I was hoping to avoid bringing up out of respect for the court," the physician continues.
"I'm waiting…" Judge Midas says, his irritation quickly growing.
"I assume having been in an extensive sexual relationship with the defense attorney would be grounds for my dismissal from service, yes?" Regina asks innocently.
"What?" Emma shouts, her voice louder than she had meant it to be.
"Excuse me?" Judge Midas barks simultaneously, turning to Ms. Lucas for clarification. Assistant D.A. Locksley also turns his attention to his opposing counsel. "Is this true?"
"Yes, Your Honor…" she admits shyly, turning to waive awkwardly at Regina. "Hey, Regina…How have you been?"
"Great," Regina forces a smile in the other woman's direction before turning back to the judge. "So, considering that I have been quite intimate with counsel, I cannot truly be impartial. Nor, can I imagine, would my wife, given that she won't be able to get that image out of her head now," she continues, quickly glancing over to see the stunned expression on Emma's face before staring back at the judge with a raised eyebrow, silently challenging him.
"Well," Judge Midas says, readjusting himself in his seat. "I suppose that could be a conflict, considering your personal feelings, positive or negative, for defense counsel could impact your perception of the defendant. "You are dismissed, Dr. Mills."
"Thank you, Your Honor. And what about Emma?"
He sighs. "I suppose she can be dismissed as well, given the circumstances."
"Thank you, Your Honor," Emma chimes in, glaring at Regina as she turns around to walk toward the exit.
Regina quickly follows suit, smirking at Ruby and then Graham as she follows her wife out of the courtroom. "Well, it's only a few minutes after noon. Want to grab lunch somewhere?" she asks as they walk through the lobby of the building. "We do have our $20 compensation for showing up for jury duty to spend…"
"What? Are you serious right now?" Emma asks in disbelief.
"Um, yes?" Regina says as they step out onto the sidewalk. "Why wouldn't I be? I cleared my patient schedule for today since I assumed I'd be stuck here all day, so I have time for lunch."
"You're just going to pretend like all of that was a perfectly normal morning?"
"Wait, are you actually mad about this?" Regina asks. "I just got us both out of jury duty and what could have been a very long, tedious, and stressful trial."
"I know, and I appreciate that aspect, but—"
"But, what? You know I have exes…and you do, too. It's not a big deal," Regina shrugs as they continue walking toward the Metro station.
"I know…" she sighs. "I don't know, it's just seeing her — I mean, she's fucking gorgeous — and then finding out about your history like that. A little head's up to your plan would've been nice."
"Emma," Regina says, slowing her pace to turn and face her wife. "I'm sorry I just blurted it out like that. I had hoped I wouldn't need to play the Ruby card with Midas. I was hoping he would let us out of it when he realized who I was. But it's not like I had a whole lot of time to think this through. And I really didn't want to sit in that little holding room all day and wait for an interview slot when I knew that Ruby would object to us being jurors anyway."
"When were you with her? And what happened with you two?" Emma asks, her voice quiet.
"You really want to know?" Regina questions, and when Emma nods her head, she continues. "We were never right for each other, so we amicably split. Honestly, it was really only about the sex." Regina watches as Emma cringes, and she quickly resumes talking so they can move past it. "She was starting law school at Georgetown when I was in finishing med school. We met at a professional student mixer and hooked up a few times, and even tried to date throughout my residency. But, we never were really able to be exclusive with each other, so we ended it when we found out that we were more or less cheating on each other with the same woman. We were out to dinner and bumped into this woman who we had both been sleeping with on the side. It was super awkward. We remained cordial with one another after that, but anything romantic or sexual ended long ago."
"You cheated on her?" Emma asks, genuinely surprised.
"Technically, though we weren't really exclusive at the time and hadn't set any ground rules. And it was a long time ago. I was young and stupid back then, anyway, and we didn't have any sort of meaningful connection. But Emma, I love you. You have nothing to worry about. I would never jeopardize what we have. Please tell me you know that," Regina says, taking Emma's hand in her own.
"I know," Emma smiles weakly. "It's just surprising."
"I know. It's not at all like me. And I'm not that person anymore. I would never, ever do that to you."
Emma nods. "I trust you."
"Good," Regina smiles, squeezing Emma's hand that she's still holding slightly. "Now, what do you want to eat for lunch?"
"You….we do have the whole afternoon free."
"Indeed we do."
A/N: It should also be noted that I've never been summoned for jury duty (knock on wood...), so aside from some quick googling of what happens, this process may be entirely inaccurate.
Anyway, thanks for bearing with me on this ridiculous update and completely random chapter topic!