After Frost left Barry coaxed Iris away from Caitlin's lab, wanting to speak to his wife alone. Caitlin was still slightly numb from the news dropped on her by both Barry and Frost. She tried to concentrate on her tests, but her eyes were unfocused. Her mind was spinning so fast that she couldn't really form a singular thought. Instead Caitlin decided to clean her lab, making the clean surfaces shine in the overhead light. Eventually she found herself in a zen like state, no thoughts going through her head, just focused on the task at hand. It was an inner quiet that she hadn't had since Killer Frost began manifesting all those years ago.
She was so lost in her own head that she jumped when someone cleared their throat, ice dagger flying out of her hand to hit the wall a few feet from where Barry stood. Blood rushed to her cheeks and Caitlin dropped her gaze to the floor. She waited to hear what Barry had to say, afraid of her heart shattering a bit more.
"Your aim needs a little work, but that icicle looks pretty sharp." Barry spoke gently, like he always did around her.
"I'm surprised I was even able to make one. My powers have been going in and out ever since Frost and I seperated." Caitlin replied, keeping her eyes averted as she sat back down in her chair in front of her work station. Beside her, monitors of her research and tests still continued to glow with information.
"About that; I wanted to apologize for how I reacted." Barry settled himself into the chair Iris has been sitting in just a few hours ago. "I was disappointed that you didn't come to me with the idea for the two of you to split, or to at least let me know that you were thinking of it. I could have been there to help Cisco."
"You were needed here Barry." Caitlin finally looked up, seeing Barry dressed in his usual casual attire. "Central City couldn't afford to have you missing in action for a week. The procedure took 4 days to complete. Then Frost and I took the other 3 days to get used to not sharing the same mental space, but now sharing the same physical space. It was best that only Cisco knew. Otherwise we would have had too many voices and opinions interfering with our healing and rebonding."
"How do you feel now that you are apart?" Barry asked, leaning forward in his seat. He seemed genuinely interested, so Caitlin decided to open up a bit and let him in.
"Like myself again. My thoughts are my own and my mind is quiet. I feel like I always have, confident and in control." Caitlin turned to look at the monitors, waving a hand at them. "According to these, my powers were written into my DNA, so there's no way to be rid of them. Now that Killer Frost has her own body, I will need to learn how to use them. Killer Frost always seemed to just know how. I've to go learn that from her."
"It's good to have you back, and to know it's you I'm talking to and not Frost." Barry leaned back and crossed his arms. "Speaking of, why did you let her take control as often as she did?"
"It was just easier that way." Caitlin shrugged, debating on how much she should reveal. "When I got overwhelmed, it's just easier for me to step back and let her have control. When there are situations I didn't want to handle, interactions that make me uncomfortable, I hid behind her. Now though, I don't have anywhere or anyone to hide behind anymore."
"How often did you hide from me?" That was one of the questions she didn't want to answer, but she forced herself to anyways. There was no inflection in his tone, but his eyes were sad and disappointed.
"More than you realize." Caitlin looked down at her hands, at her perfectly painted scarlet nails to match her dress, the color a reminder of Barry's old suit, of a time when things were simpler.
"Why, Cait?" God, she loved how he said her name. So gentle and sweet.
"Things had changed so much between us over the years that it hurt to see how we'd grown apart. Then once you and Iris got engaged, I seriously considered leaving. I was actually booking a flight to leave town the night the girls drug me into their bachelorette party. I was forced to go and then forced to stay thanks to Amunet and DeVoe."
She took a deep breath and looked up at Barry, only to see sadness in his eyes. Disappointment too. Time to press on.
"Then Nora showed up, and I decided to stay a little longer. Something wasn't sitting right with me leaving when a new speedster showed up, even if she is your daughter. But now that I'm free of Killer Frost, I can leave knowing that you have Frost here who can help keep the team safe."
"Leave?" Barry sounded hurt. "Both you and Cisco are going to leave me, leave the team?"
"I don't want to." Caitlin felt tears gather in her eyes, throat tight. "I have to."
Barry flashed into a kneeling position before her, hands wrapping around hers, holding her in place. Caitlin's mind flashed back to the night that Zoom had let her go after he lied to her about Barry's death. That night she had felt her heart shatter, and she knew it was because she loved Barry, more than she had ever loved Ronnie.
"Why?" Barry demanded gently, face earnest. "Tell me why Caitlin."
"Because I love you Barry Allen." She whispered, closing her eyes and letting her tears fall. "I love you but you don't love me. I can't keep ripping my heart into pieces. I need to leave while there is still something of me left."
Suddenly Caitlin's head was tipped back, warm lips settling over hers. She gasped, and Barry took the opportunity to really kiss her. Frost gathered under her palms where she gripped the arms of her chair, lips moving against the speedsters slowly. Her heart was racing and her head was spinning. Warmth was filling her, even as warning bells rang in the back of her mind. Every part of her wanted to ignore the warning and fall completely into Barry, to drown in his warmth. She moved to raise her hands to wrap them around his neck when she felt her arms jerk.
Opening her eyes and breaking the kiss she looked down in shock. Her hands and forearms were covered in ice, the arms of her chair encased in the white substance as well. She jerked her hands again, but they were frozen fast to the seat. Barry laid his hands over hers and vibrated, breaking the ice away. Immediately his big hands wrapped around hers, warming them up. Shame burned her cheeks and Caitlin pulled her hands out of his grasp, crossing them across her body defensively. She was unable to look at Barry, afraid of what she would see, scared of hoping for more than she should.
"Look at me Cait." Barry's voice was close, but she shook her head, eyes closed tight as more tears fell. "C'mon Caitlin."
"No."
"Why not?" She could still feel the warmth radiating from him, begging her to give in.
"Because you're a married man!" Caitlin shouted, standing up and shoving him back with a blast of cold air.
The room fell silent as the two of them stood on opposite ends, Caitlin with her fists clenched, Barry with his hands open and pleading. Neither one was going to back down on this, Caitlin especially. She's gone for this long without giving in and she sure as hell wasn't about to cave now. Ice burned in her veins, similar to the fire she first felt when transforming into Killer Frost. This time, however, her mind stayed clear and her thoughts were her own.
"Dad? Aunt Caitlin?" Nora's voice broke the silence like a gunshot, making Caitlin jump. Turning she saw the younger woman standing in the doorway, a guilty look on her face. Barry took a deep breath and turned to his daughter.
"What's wrong Nora?" Even now, he still spoke gently to his daughter. A daughter that may no longer exist soon. That thought broke Caitlin's heart, and hardened her resolve not to give in to Barry.
"I need to tell you something. Something about your future and my past." Nora stepped into the lab slowly. "But I need the both of you to hear what it is." She looked at Caitlin. "Especially you Aunt Cait."
"Ok." Caitlin motioned for her to sit down as she pulled her own chair from the corner where it had been shoved to during the cold blast. Once they were all sitting down in a loose circle Barry said,
"You wanted to tell us something. What is it?"
"First off, don't get mad at mom for what I'm about to tell you, ok?" Nora begged her dad. Caitlin tilted her head. Nora must not really know Barry if she thinks he'll stay mad at her for anything.
"A few years from now, in my timeline, you and Caitlin are dating." Barry glanced at Caitlin, hope and confusion in his eyes. Caitlin raised an eyebrow, a silent shrug.
"At first mom took it pretty hard. In my timeline you never marry her, you just date her for a long time. She felt like you were about to propose to her when you ended up breaking up with her to be with Caitlin." Nora rubbed her face, eyes already red from crying. "I wanted you and mom to have a happy ending, not the ending you get in my timeline."
"But if you say I'm with Caitlin, doesn't that mean that I'm happy there too?" Barry sounded hurt and confused. Caitlin's heart hurt seeing Nora crying the way she was, but part of her was secretly glad that she got to be with Barry in the end. According to Nora at any rate.
"You and Aunt Caitlin are happy, but it takes mom a long time before she finds someone to make her happy."
"How do you fit into all of this Nora?" Caitlin asked, genuinely curious.
"By the time Mom figured out she was pregnant with me, you had already proposed to Caitlin."
That shocked Caitlin so much that she felt her fingers beginning to ice over. Barry, sensing her distress, reached over and touched the back of her hand, reminding her to calm herself down. Nodding she took a deep breath. He then looked and Nora and asked,
"If I was with Caitlin, how did I end up getting Iris pregnant? Something must have happened for me to not stay with your mother if we were expecting a child."
"Remember the serum you had at your bachelor party?"
"Kinda hard to forget. Caitlin made it where I could finally stay drunk more than just a few minutes." Barry grinned back at his doctor, smile crooked and slightly wicked.
"Well, in my timeline, mom managed to get a hold of a vial and she got you drunk. You slept with her, and when you realized what happened, you basically told mom that you didn't want to have anything to do with her ever again. Nine months later, Caitlin delivered me here in S.T.A.R. Labs."
"What?" Caitlin asked, interest peaked. "Were you already showing signs of being a meta in the womb?"
"No, not at that time, but you all knew the possibility that things could happen that would be hard to explain. Like when Granny Cecil had Aunt Jenna, you felt it would be better for me to be born here." Nora explained. "Mom did what you asked, but she distanced herself from you once I was born. By the time I was old enough to get to know you Dad, you had already disappeared without a trace. Aunt Caitlin and Uncle Cisco wanted to train me when my powers manifested, but mom just wanted them gone, so she had Aunt Caitlin implant the dampener into me."
"That explains a lot about how you treated Iris when you first got here, but how did you make it to the past?" Barry finally got to the real question everyone had been wanting the answer to, the real answer to. "Even when I accidentally went back in time, it took a considerable amount of speed and concentration to do it. That was only one day. You came back over 20 years. That was no accident."
"Thawne."
Silence filled the room after that, Barry's hands curling into fists. Caitlin could feel the rage pouring off him in waves, seeing his body begin to vibrate slightly. She wondered how many times Barry would let him slip away before things got out of hand. Barry didn't want to kill, didn't like the thought of killing. But really, Thawne needs to die. Otherwise he's just keep sticking his nose into things and wrecking the timeline until nothing was left. In the back of her mind she called out to Frost, wondering if their connection was strong enough for the other woman to pick up.
"What's up babe?" Frost drawled. "You have been holed up with the two of them for a while."
"Do you wanna live up to your name?"
"Who do I need to kill?"
"Thawne. Nora says he's the one who has helped her come back to the past."
"Get me close enough, and he'll be nothing but a puddle of water and blood."
"Aunt Cait, are you ok?" Nora's voice broke through, pulling Caitlin from her conversation with Killer Frost. Blinking Caitlin smiled at the two speedsters, enjoying seeing them together. Caitlin could only hope that maybe Nora could stay in this timeline, to live her life here instead of turning to dust once her timeline intersects with the timeline that they were on now.
"Yeah, I was just talking to Killer Frost."
"I thought that the two of you were split in two. How can you still talk to her?" Nora tilted her head, looking like a curious puppy.
"I was just asking if Killer Frost wanted to live up to her name." Caitlin smirked, but Barry looked concerned.
"Who do you want her to kill?" Barry asked, though Caitlin figured he had a good idea of who.
"Thawne, once and for all. He is the reason the timelines keep diverging and merging, changing." Caitlin replied. "Out of all of us, she's the one that will be the least affected by killing him."
"Are you sure Caitlin? That seems pretty extreme." Barry, bless his heart, was still so naive sometimes.
"He is the cause of all our problems, both good and bad. To be honest, there are more bad than good. However, he needs to be stopped. For good. Killer Frost is the only one of us to have ever stopped a speedster by killing them. She shattered what was left of Hunter Zolomon when he was the Black Flash wraith when he was coming after Savitar."
Barry and Nora shared a look, two speedsters communicating by look alone. It was subtle, but Caitlin could see that they were speed talking. It was when they moved so fast that it looked like they weren't even moving. She sat back and let them debate the answer, feeling Frost coming closer, ready to join them in figuring out how to stop Thawne permanently.
"You do have a point; he's responsible for me becoming the Flash. However he also murdered my mom and set into motion everything that has happened since that night. He does need to be stopped, and we've been shown that letting him live is a mistake every time." Barry sighed. "I just wish there was another way."
"There are two options." Frost stepped into the room, pulling the glass door shut behind her, closing the lab off from the rest of the team. "Either I kill him, or we figure out a way to strip him of his powers."
"Even then, he'd still be a threat. He is a certified genius. He was able to build all of this while pretending to be Wells." Caitlin replied. "He may be stripped of his powers, but he still has his mind. I'm sure he'd figure out a way to get the Speed Force back into his body. No. I vote he dies."
Barry sat still and quiet as he processed his thoughts. The three women in the room shared a look of expectation, all of them knowing that they couldn't push Barry into something he didn't think was right. He ran his hands through his hair with a sigh and looked up, resolve flashing through his eyes like lightning.
"Fine. Thawne dies." His voice was cold and hard as steel. "We need to figure out how to do it. The rest of the team needs to be in on the decision as well."
"We're gonna do what?" Ralph asked, the rest of the team assembled in the cortex. The only person who was missing was Iris, but Caitlin thought it was a blessing. She needed to step away from the team for a while, to gather her thoughts. Part of her was also glad that she was gone, meaning Barry's focus was on the mission, not his pissed off wife.
"Frost and I are going to travel with Nora into her future and kill Thawne." Barry replied evenly, looking everyone in the eye in turn. "This way, the largest of the threats to all of us is eliminated once and for all."
"That sounds crazy." Sherloque and Joe echoed at the same time, with Joe continuing, "Barry, you know what happens every time you mess with the timeline. From all that we have seen over the years, anything can disrupt the timeline. How will you know what you do there won't destroy this timeline?"
"I don't, but I have to have the faith that this timeline won't change. It shouldn't change. The only thing that would change is the future from here on out." Barry answered.
"You sure you're gonna be ok, just the two of you?" Cisco asked, placing updated tracking chips into both Frost and Nora's suits. He'd already updated Barry suit that morning. Even though his powers were gone, he couldn't quite make himself leave S.T.A.R. just yet.
"We'll be fine, I promise." Barry answered. Caitlin bit her lip, praying that everything would work out for them all. Maybe, once Thawne was eliminated, they would all get some peace and quiet for a bit.
"Shouldn't Iris be here for this?" Joe asked, looking around. Caitlin looked away, pretending to pull up something important on her tablet. Nora shifted guiltily. Barry winced but replied,
"Yes, but she also needs to focus on the Citizen right now. I don't want her worrying about me when there isn't anything she's able to do."
It was an honest cover story, but a thin one. Iris had been working on building her journalism for years, but she had been distracted lately by all the stuff going on at S.T.A.R., and it showed. Her blog slash newspaper was barely getting any traffic. She needed to work on things other than related to the Flash to get readers. He would always be her bread and butter, but there were other things going on in Central City besides the Flash.
"We'll be back before you know it Papa Joe." Nora smiled sweetly. Behind her Frost raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes at the same time.
"Can we please get going." Frost snarked. "I'm ready to get some blood on my suit."
"Don't you dare!" Cisco chastised her. "Blood is never a good thing to try and wash out. You do that, and you are washing our own suit."
"Don't worry Cisco, I don't have to draw blood to kill anyone. It's just more fun that way." Frost's voice was diabolical and cold, echos of her true power lingering in her words.
"Ok then." Barry clapped his hands once. "Time to head down to the accelerator ring."
In a flash all three of the metas were gone, but Caitlin felt Barry press a quick kiss to her lips as they left, knowing no one would see. Everyone but Cisco. He caught the blush on her cheeks as she turned and went back to her lab. Caitlin heard the others split off for the day, some staying while others leaving. She know Cisco would come looking for her sooner or later.
Not five minutes had passed when the long haired man stepped into Caitlin's lab, shutting the door behind him. She turned and waited patiently.
"What the frack just happened in there?" Cisco demanded, eyes huge in his face. "Did I just see Barry plant a kiss on you?"
"Yes?" Caitlin answered with a question, still not sure of what was going on between them now that Barry seemed to have decided to try something with her. She was more confused now than she was before.
"Explain everything, now." Cisco planted himself in a chair and crossed his arms. Caitlin settled down as well, doing her best to explain to her friend what happened. Explained how Nora changed everything by coming back in time. Most of all, who she learned her skills from. Seriously, it was like they lived in a comic book sometimes considering all the crap they went through on a daily basis.
"That bastard needs to die." Cisco vented. "Barry needs to stop letting him get away, or letting him go."
"That's why I sent Frost with them. She'll finally finish the job that should have been done years ago when Eddie killed himself." Caitlin repiled, hearing a crackle of lightning in the distance. Apparently the team was back. She could only hope that they had been successful.
"So what about Iris?" Cisco lowered his voice, leaning in closer. "I would imagine she doesn't know how Barry feels."
"She does. She was there when Barry revealed that there was something that had always drawn him to me. He said that he picked Iris, but he wanted me. I honestly have no clue where to go from here." Caitlin sighed, rubbing her temples.
"The two of you need to cool off. Go home with Frost and get some rest. Let Barry handle Iris, if there even is anything for him to handle. You did nothing in this situation, so you shouldn't be the one to make the next move either."
Caitlin nodded, glad for Cisco's reasoning. It was early in the afternoon, but Caitlin figured she could do with some rest. Some space to figure out her heart and mind regarding Barry and his little bombshell. Somehow she managed to make it out of S.T.A.R. without anyone noticing she was gone. She drove to her favorite bistro, picked up something to eat for herself and then went home. It was nice to have the place to herself for a while, especially now that she was the only one living inside her head. Changing into her usual pajamas of yoga pants and a large sweater, Caitlin curled up in her favorite chair. She turned on Netflix and ate her lunch in peace. That evening when Frost came home, she found Caitlin asleep in the chair, Netflix having stopped playing after so long. With a smile the cold meta gently helped her doppleganger to bed before retiring herself.