As Caitlin and the team worked to keep Central City safe, she found out that Barry, Iris and Nora along with Joe has finally decided on a time to sit down and go over everything as a family. How she found out wasn't the best way.
"Cait, please. You have to be there, for me." Barry begged her on the afternoon of the get together. "I need you there to be my support."
"No Barry." Caitlin shook her head. "The conversation is going to be hard enough as it is for you without Iris trying to draw blood from me every chance she gets. This is YOUR family, and is still your responsibility."
He gave her puppy eyes and it took everything she had to not give into his request. This was his fight, not hers. She have him a quick kiss on the cheek and gave him a swift hug.
"You can do this Barry." She smiled at him. "Neither one of us asked for this, for life to happen the way it has. We can't change the past, even though you can travel through time. Our experiences make us who we are. Your family had made you the man you are today. You owe it to them and to yourself to stand up and tell them how you feel. Having me there would only be a distraction and a fall back if things get nasty."
"I know." Barry sighed, resting his forehead against hers. "I just feel more confident when you are around."
"Then here, take this." Caitlin held out an ear wig to him. "Wear this, and I'll be able to hear everything. If you need anything, I can coach you through it from here. I'll help you, but this needs to be done by you."
"Thanks Cait, you're the best." Barry slipped the tech into his ear, brushing a kiss across her lips before speeding away.
About 20 minutes later Caitlin could hear voices besides Barry's, and she knew that she was about to hear everything that went on across town in the loft Barry owned. He heart was breaking for all of them, her included. None of them asked for the fall out that occured after the accelerator explosion all those years ago. Nor did they ask for the impacts of Barry's Flashpoint, or of him surrendering himself to the Speed Force. If none of that has ever happened, things would have turned out much different. Maybe everyone would have been able to have their happy ending. Their Original Happy Ending.
"What's this all about Bar?" Joe asked, warm voice troubled. He was the only West that Caitlin really liked. He was the father figure that she'd never had, so she looked up to the grizzled cop with affection. She prayed after tonight he wouldn't lose that affection.
"I guess I'll start when I came out of the Speed Force." Barry started slowly. "Obviously I wasn't the same person who went in."
"I'll say. Your brain was more scrambled than my eggs were this morning." Joe commented, earning a soft laugh from Barry. Caitlin thought she heard a scoff and a snicker in the background. Iris and Nora respectively.
"Spending that much time immersed in all times and all realities made it hard for even my enhanced brain to comprehend at one time. I was on information overload when I came out. What I was speaking and writing was what is referred to as Time Glyphs. These are what Thawne thought he had discovered, but in the Speed Force, I found out is was something that has existed since time itself.
"The Speed Force is alive, and it created the Time Glyphs to record each and every history that has ever been or ever will be. While I was there, I saw all of it, millions of possible outcomes. Surprisingly, there were very few where Iris and I were ever together, let alone married. She was in every timeline, but we were nothing more than friends at most and in others, we never knew each other at all."
Barry paused, and Caitlin could hear the blood rushing in his ears through the bone conducting microphone in the ear wig. Even though she knew snippets of what had happened to Barry, hearing it like this was hard. She settled in to listen to the rest.
"Yes, but once you saved Mom from the Samurai robot, everything went back to normal, right?" Nora, bless her, wasn't letting anyone know that she knew what Killer Frost had told them several weeks ago. After all, she kept the secret of Thawne from them for almost a year. The girl knew how to keep secrets.
"Yeah, I thought so." She could hear Barry rub the back of his neck. "Even with the couples therapy that Iris and I did seemed to help smooth out some of the wrinkles left by me leaving for a while. In the end though, nothing seemed to really work."
"I thought we were working past this. I felt like we were beginning to reconnect, that things were getting back to the way they were when we first got married." Iris replied, voice raw sounding.
"I thought so, but the more time that passed from me leaving the Speed Force, the more something seemed to not sit right with me." Barry spoke. "I wasn't sure what was wrong until Oliver and I confronted the Monitor."
What did that crazy, intergalactic nutjob have to do with what was going on?
"Who?" Iris and Joe asked.
"The Monitor. He's the guy that was pulling the strings of the dude that body swapped dad and Oliver." Nora replied.
"Oliver and I stepped through a portal into his dimension, to see about getting him to stop letting that madman John Deegan rewrite reality. When I did that, all the memories from being in the Speed Force came back, but they were unscrambled. They were just there, but they didn't overwhelm me."
"You never told me that." Iris tried saying gently, but her tone was more pointed that concerned.
"I've tried telling you about what has happened to me several times since coming home, but somehow, the subject always get changed. No one knows what I went through. Caitlin had a lot on her plate, first with Killer Frost and then Amunet. Cisco was dealing with Gypsy and Harry. Joe had Cecile. No one had time to know what was going on in my head."
"But you did let Gideon know, didn't you Dad?" Nora asked. "In the future, I came across logs that you recorded talking about the time you spent in the Speed Force. I didn't go through all of them. The early ones were mostly filler as you slowly worked your way through your thoughts."
"Yes, I told Gideon." Barry replied. "She keeps everyone's secrets and tell no one of them."
He took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh.
"Back to the reason I called you three here; there is something I need to tell you. Joe, I love you, and I am so very thankful that you were my dad when my real dad couldn't be there. I also wanted to let you know I'm sorry if I am about to let you down in any way.
"Nora, knowing you in this timeline has been a joy. I pray that you will be able to stay with us a little longer, and that I'll get to meet you again. I love you more than you will ever know."
There was another pause, and Caitlin sniffed softly. Tears trickled out of her eyes at the rawness of Barry's tone. He hated hurting anyone, especially the people he loved the most. She also knew though, that there were only so many lies he could live with before something had to give. Unfortunately, it seemed that his relationship with his adoptive family is what would suffer.
"You can do this Barry, I'm right here." Caitlin barely whispered.
"Iris, you have no idea how I wish I could change how I feel." Barry's voice thickened with regret. "I do love you, but not the way a husband is supposed to love his wife."
Caitlin could hear Iris and Nora trying to hold back their tears.
"At one time, I truly thought you and I were the happy ending I was looking for. That it would be us against the world. That we were written in the future as destiny. In the end though, my actions and the actions of others impacted the timeline, changing things in a way that can never be repaired. The love I thought I felt for you, I came to realize were the remains of a crush. I thought familiarity would lead to love, but it doesn't. It just leaves you empty."
Another pause for a deep breath, and the silence was deafening.
"I want a divorce."
For several long minutes no one spoke, not even Caitlin. She could only imagine what was going on. Joe and Nora looking back and forth between Barry and Iris, Iris staring at Barry, Barry alternating between looking at the floor and Iris. Caitlin was so tense that she felt ice crawling up her arms, fingers producing a cool mist. From across town the opposite direction she could feel Killer Frost stir, reaching out to her mind. Caitlin opened up and let her in, to see and hear what she was hearing.
"So that's it then?" Iris asked, voice cold and steely. "You want to dump me and chase after Caitlin."
"What?" Barry replied. "No, that is not the reason I want to divorce you. I want to set you free so you can find who really makes you happy. I know that I'm not that person, and I haven't been since I came out of the Speed Force."
"How do you know that Barry? How can you know that you aren't the only person who makes me happy?"
"You never look at me the way you looked at Eddie." Barry said softly, pulling up painful history. "You were so happy and relaxed around him. With me, there is always a tense feeling, like you're trying really hard to be someone you're not. I love you enough to know that it's not fair to you, making you feel trapped in a situation where neither one of us are really happy."
"What about Nora?" Joe asked. "Won't she be erased from the timeline?"
"Not yet Papa Joe." Nora replied. "The timeline I'm from no longer exists, because of what we have changed here. Once this timeline catches up with mine where I'm conceived, then I'll fade back into the Speed Force. It's only a theory. There's also a chance that I'll live the rest of my life here, as my own unique person. My parents genetically will still be my parents, but not physically."
"Jeze, after all these years time travel still gives me a headache." Joe groussed.
"Okay." Iris spoke up, voice calm and clear for the first time in weeks. "You want a divorce Barry? Fine, we will get a divorce. It will take me some time, but I do still want to be in your life, as your oldest and best friend."
"Thank you." There was rustling as everyone stood.
"Until things are finalized, I'll be staying with dad and Cecile. Nora, it looks like you have a roommate."
"It's ok mom. You can have your old room back. I'll sleep at dad's."
After that Caitlin took the comm out, knowing Barry would be fine on his own. Stomach full of butterflies and mind spinning, the good doctor returned to her work. She knew she was taking a very hands off approach to how Barry was beginning to start a relationship with her, but she felt that what she was doing was right. Stay out of the way and let Barry handle things. After all, this is his life and they are his decisions to make. Yes, she made the decision to pursue anything with Barry if he offered it, but she wasn't going to chase him. She's never chased a man, and she wasn't about to start now. Whatever happened next, neither one of them would regret it.