This is a semi-serious fic but with a very obvious flavor of humor so I honestly felt that Harry and Bella's year leading up to their marriage should be filled with misadventures that border on the silly, these are not all the situations they get themselves into, just the most memorable. There will be references to other...indiscretions that the young couple got themselves involved in later in the story, I'm quite looking forward to them explaining their month spent in a Veela brothel to their daughter when she is in her teens.

Leeds, England, May 29, 1982

"Why am I wearing leather pants, a wife beater, and a suit vest?" Harry asked his girlfriend as she dragged him through the crowds surrounding the darkened stage.

Bellatrix just grinned at him as she leaned into his side while her lips graced his ear with a light brush causing him to shudder slightly, "Because you look fabulous dear, I notice you didn't mention the combat boots."

Harry blushed but outside of that he didn't react other than with a shrug, "Combat boots are practical after all."

Bellatrix sent him a saucy smirk as she slapped his arse causing him to shoot her a glare as she pulled him down for a kiss, breaking away a few moments later she whispered, "As are those pants, for me, at least," into his ear.

Harry just raised a brow, and before he could say anything the stage began lighting up and a man in a rather flamboyant, dare he say, Dumbledore approved jumpsuit stood under the spotlight and yelled out seven words.

"Leeds! Who is going to rock us!?"

Harry didn't know what came over him but he threw a fist up with Bellatrix and screamed out, "WE WILL ROCK YOU!"

Freddie Mercury grinned as he spun his mic stand and threw his fist into the air in response while crooning out, "And we're gonna rock you Leeds!"

Harry didn't remember much from the Queen concert, other then Bella grinding against him and his rather inappropriate public displays of affections towards her.

Though, considering he saw a bloke sucking off another bloke in the crowd perhaps groping his girlfriends rather supple arse while snogging her senseless was rather tame; his views on what was inappropriate or not were a bit skewed thanks to his upbringing after all.

Ted assured him the next day that the blokes in question were in fact being inappropriate which Harry simply nodded to. The fact that this needed to be clarified concerned his future brother in law immensely but he didn't bring it up to anyone other then his wife who simply shrugged the whole thing off.

You really could not unsettle a Black after all.

Still at the end of the night Harry ended up going to his first rock concert, smoking pot for the first time, pulling a pool hall scam with some Russian gangsters led by a man named Yuri, and woke up naked in bed with his girlfriend and the rather fit bartender from their hotel, who going by the name tag on the apron hanging from the ceiling fan was named Wendy.

Harry had to use every ounce of his mental control to stop himself from breaking out laughing and then crying at this absolutely ridiculous turn of events. Then the two women in his bed noticed he was awake and soon crawled over his body kissing his sweaty limbs up towards where it really mattered.

His Dogfather would be so damn proud of him right now, and didn't that say something about his current situation?

Then he began groaning, and he rather lost track of time for a while after that.

Moscow, Russia, June 22, 1982

Harry grimaced as he looked about the soot stained streets of the historic city and shook his head slowly, "When I was here in 2001 it was a bit nasty, now..."

Bellatrix pulled his arm close and whispered, "Now?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, it is still dirty and all but the KGB are just less honest versions of the gangsters who ran things from my time, hiding behind the bureaucracy to perform their crimes, instead of guile and threats, it's just. I don't know, disheartening I suppose."

A few moments later a man walked up to the couple, glanced about in a quick fashion, then muttered lowly, "I understand from Yuri that you are...The Potter, yes?"

Harry blinked a moment while Bellatrix nodded slowly, "Yes he is."

The man grinned, "Excellent! I am Sasha, Yuri spoke highly of The Potter and his lovely and cunning lady companion. Are you by chance interested in robbing a train transporting Soviet Military hardware? Very dangerous, and very...lucrative business."

Both Harry and Bellatrix blinked, exchanged glances, and then turned back to Sasha while Harry asked, "Will there be vodka?"

"But of course!" He responded brightly.

They remained silent for a few moments before Bellatrix shrugged, "Fuck it, we're in."

London, England, July 31, 1982

"So you're part of the Russian mob now?!" Sirius stated this incredulously as Remus tried to settle his squirming daughter in his lap while shaking his head slowly.

"Dear can you take Dancia for a moment?" He asked Narcissa while she nodded and took the white haired girl from him while shooting her sister an incredulous look which only earned her a sheepish shrug in return.

"Err...Yeah..." Harry said while scratching the back of his head slowly before quickly meeting both surviving Marauders gazes evenly, "Look, vodka, sexy KGB spies, and...vodka were involved..."

Bellatrix grinned as she sidled up to Harry's side while muttering, "Don't forget the vodka. Oh! That thing Natalia did with her tongue was...mmm..."

"Right?!" Harry stated before turning back to the two men sitting before him while quickly coughing into his hand, "Yeah look, we shouldn't have to worry...too much, I think. Igor thinks that Ivan was the one who planted microfilm so hopefully the Swedes don't catch wind of what happened..."

Sirius and Remus just stared at them for a few more moments before the werewolf of the pair dropped his head into his hands and Sirius shot them a grin while muttering, "So envious right now..."

They were interrupted by Nymphadora entering the room carrying Rose while she yelled out, "Here comes the birthday girl!"

Placing the now two year old in Harry's lap a small cake was placed on the table before them, the surrounding Black clan sang happy birthday, followed with Harry and Bellatrix helping Rose blow out the candles.

As Rose was kidnapped once again by her older 'sister' Bellatrix leaned into Harry's side and kissed his cheek, "Love you."

He returned the gesture while whispering, "Not more than I love you."

She smacked him lightly while muttering, "Prat."

He only grinned in return while soaking in the celebrating family's happiness that swirled around him.

Las Vegas, Nevada United States of America, November 3, 1982

"You sure about this love?" Bellatrix asked with a nervous glance about the room as she worried her lip, Harry could only reply with a kiss, unable to resist how sexy her little nervous tick made her look.

Well, sexier then normal that is, there really wasn't anything not sexy about Bellatrix other than her temper, and even then, well...

*Ahem*

"Positive, we said a year yes? It has been a year."

"Andi and Cissy are going to be so absolutely infuriated with us."

Harry grimaced, then, smiled, "Yeah, but we'll let them plan a proper ceremony for later, plus I'm not sure this would even be considered legal in Britain. Right now though, I want to be your husband, and I always keep my word after all."

Bellatrix smiled, kissed him, then said, "And I want to be your wife, as an aside thank you for letting an Elvis impersonator marry us, it is going to piss sooooo much of my family off when they find out."

Harry chuckled as he kissed her in return, "Anything for you love."

London, England, November 16, 1982

"YOU DID WHAT!? Druella Black screamed at the sheepish couple standing before her, all while Sirius was rolling on his back laughing manically ignoring the death glares from his cousins while Ted gently tugged Nymphadora and Rose into the next room over followed by Remus with Dancia, both men silently wondering how the hell Harry Potter was even able to walk straight with the brass balls he was lugging around.

As the gathered family kept screaming at the newly wed couple Bellatrix leaned into Harry's embrace and while everyone else in the room took her shaking to be a sign of anxiety and fear, only her husband could hear her suppressed laughter.

Harry buried his lips into the crown of her head to hide his smirk while muttering, "I love you so much," while shaking from his own suppressed mirth.

After a few more moments Bellatrix couldn't take it anymore and she broke out cackling soon followed by Harry, then Sirius, and eventually Remus from the other room much to Narcissa's annoyance.

The elders of the gathering waited in silent annoyance for the younger generation to calm down before Lord Arcturus pinched the bridge of his nose while shaking his head slowly soon meeting Harry's gaze.

"You are married legally yes? This entire ...farce, was simply to take the piss out of us all, was it not?"

Over the sound of a few scandalized gasps Harry smirked and replied, "Yes and yes. Sorry sir, we couldn't help ourselves."

Arcturus then smiled, "I'm sure, good man, Chuck would have approved as would your other ancestors. What is it with Potters and being pranksters?" Then his face went completely neutral as he stated, "There will be a proper ceremony before next Samhain, will their not?"

Bellatrix stiffened and nodded, "Of course Grandfather!"

He stared at the couple a moment, glanced at the still indignant gathering, then nodded, "Make sure it has an open bar, we'll all likely need it."

As he walked away Harry raised a brow and muttered, "Huh...I think I like him..."

Bellatrix shivered slightly while shaking her head, "That is terrifying because I think he likes you too..."

Chaos was after all an old friend of both the Blacks and Potters.

Harry and Bellatrix enable each other to a rather distressing degree, I love it.