The Consolation Prize

I waited for the bedcovers to take me to my place of darkness.

Tap tap.

It wasn't happening fast enough.

Tap tap tap.

What was that? I peeped out and saw Axel pressed against the outside of my window like some giant, black gecko. I lifted the handle and let him climb inside.

'What are you doing here?' I asked.

He patted my head affectionately. 'I wanted to check you were alright.'

'Course I'm alright. I'm champion of the struggles. I got the trophy to prove it.'

Axel picked it up from where I had dumped it by the door. He admired the glass trophy and its coloured orbs, one at the end of each of the four branches. 'You're not out celebrating with your gang?'

I could see him watching me out of the corner of his eye. 'I don't feel like it. Besides it wouldn't be the same. Hayner and me...' I stopped short. 'Let's just say we're not as close as we were.'

'Alright.' He turned the trophy around in his hands. 'I just wanted to make sure you're okay.'

'Yeah. Thanks, dude.' I took the trophy off him and set it on top of my desk. It glinted in the sun's rays. 'I was gonna make some dinner,' I said hopefully.

'Cool. What are we having?'

'Microwave pizza.'

Axel's face lit up. 'No way! I love that stuff. Have you got the double pepperoni?'

I chuckled at his excitement. 'Yeah, I got it.'

His long, red hair flicked about as he practically pranced around the room. 'Awww sweet. Can I have one, please?'

'Yeah, dude. I'll do us one each.'

'You're my best bud, Roxas.'

After pizza we sat on my bed together and watched the setting sun out my window. I wondered what Hayner would be doing right now. I pictured him with Olette out on a romantic evening together. Or maybe he was holled up in his room, feeling pleased with himself. I pulled the quilt over myself a little more and hugged my knees.

I could hear Axel's soft breathing beside me. He had shrugged off his trenchcoat a while ago and was sat in his dark gray shirt and black pants. Apparently everything he wore had to be monochrome.

Axel's gaze remained fixed out the window. 'You wanna talk about it?'

I followed his gaze to where the sun was setting red over the rooftops. 'What's there to say? Everything between me and Hayner was a lie. He says he felt something. I have no idea what I felt or even if I'm capable of feeling.'

Axel's watched over the rooftops some more. He chose his moment to respond. 'Nobodies aren't capable of feelings.'

I sat forward. Tugged at his shoulder. 'Whatcha say?'

He looked at me sidelong. 'You're a nobody, Roxas. You don't have a heart.' It wasn't said with malice, just as a matter of fact. He looked to me. His aqua eyes looked right at me and for a moment it didn't matter that he was taller than me, a little older than me, and clearly had secrets. For that moment I felt like we were together, as one. 'You're a nobody, like me, Roxas. I'm just like you.'

My hand was still on his shoulder. I gripped it, hard. He carefully plied my fingers off and scooted up next to me. 'I'm sorry, Roxas.'

I wiped some water from under my eye. Don't know how it got there. I sniffed. I looked into his own eyes that were glistening, wet. 'You get it, don't you?'

He nodded. 'If ever you wanna talk, I'm here. 'Cause I know how you feel, 'kay?'

He took hold of my chin. I nodded.

'I think we should go see Naminé tomorrow,' he remarked.

'You were with her today?'

'Yeah. She said there's not long left.'

'Not long 'til what?'

He frowned a little. 'Until this world comes to an end.'

I huffed. 'I feel like that already happened'.

He glanced out the window again. 'I know, bud. There's a lot more going on too.'

I took hold of his arm. 'If you know all this stuff, why don't you tell me? Why keep it all a secret?'

'They're gonna come after me. I was supposed to be keeping my head low in here.'

'Who's coming after you?'

'The icky Organization soon enough. Xemnas if he finds out what I'm doing. Riku.'

Riku!

'Tell me more,' I said.

'I'd rather you heard it from the horse's mouth. We'll go see the White Witch tomorrow. I want to know what you make of it all.'

'The White Witch. Is that Naminé?'

Axel nodded.

'You realise how ridiculous you sound.'

'Yup.' He got up off the bed and climbed out the window, jacket slung over his shoulder. 'I'll see you tomorrow, Roxas.'

'Wait.' I took hold of his hand.

He looked to me. 'What?'

The teardrop shapes under his eyes looked quite pretty. 'Will you stay with me?' I asked.

His eyes darted to my empty bed. 'You just split up with your boyfriend. I don't wanna complicate things for you.'

I clung onto his hand even harder. 'Please.' I know I sounded whiney but I didn't care. 'Stay with me?'

He looked me in the eye. He held my gaze and I wanted to know what he was thinking. He shook his head at me. 'All right. But I'm sleeping on the floor, got it?'

I pulled him back off the window ledge and into an embrace. Axel's body was warm and he held me tight.

Somehow Axel got from I'm sleeping on the floor to sitting beside me in bed pretty quickly. It was so humid I'd thrown the windows wide open against the heat. We both stripped to our underwear as we settled down. Axel lay next to me and faced the wall.

His pale back was muscley. I loved the way his crimson-color hair touched the tips of his shoulders. I played with it a little and put an arm round him. I felt the curve of his smooth chest.

Axel nuzzled up against me. 'Mmm, that feels good. You've no idea how long I've waited to feel this again. There's all this crazy shit going on, Roxas. Real fucked up stuff and the only thing that makes it okay is moments like this. Moments when I can pretend that I'm not a nobody and that I do have a heart.'

I pulled him toward me. He turned to face me and I wrapped an arm round him. The embrace was warm, but I still felt a little tightness in my chest. I still felt a little low. 'What would it feel like if I did have a heart, Axel?' I asked.

I felt his shoulders shrug. 'Beats me. Most people don't feel like us. Most people won't understand us.'

'It doesn't mean we can't try to be like most people,' I said. I kissed him on his arm. It had little dark red hairs running down it that grew thicker towards his wrists. It turned me on so much when I realised he had thick patches of red hair under his arms too. 'How can we know if we never try?'

Axel's aqua eyes met mine. 'I knew there was a reason I had to come back to you.' Our bare chests pressed together as he pulled me even closer. I felt his lips graze my cheek softly. 'You're so full of passion. I love this part of you.'

He kissed me again, this time on the lips. I breathed in deeply and felt his tongue against mine, and the scrape of the stubble on his chin as we kissed each other passionately, lovingly.

Finally we pulled away. Axel looked me up and down. 'You're so cute, Roxas, but you're so petite you make me feel like a creep.'

'Hey, I'm fifteen,' I said defensively. 'You look about thirty.'

'I'm seventeen, buddy. Got it memorized?'

I chuckled.

'Hey, I didn't realise you brought your struggle bat with you,' he said.

I looked around the room. My trophy was still on the desk, but I definitely didn't have a bat.

Axel laughed at me. He tugged playfully at the waistband of my boxershorts. I looked down. 'Oh.'

I glanced Axel's own shorts. 'I see you brought yours too,' I chided.

He laughed as he nuzzled my ear. He whispered so softly it sent chills down my spine. 'Wanna spar?'

I didn't answer with words. Instead I pulled him on top of me and we spent the night connecting not only physically, but emotionally.