-Suna Road, 5:00 am-
"So basically you write porn in a book form and sell it to the many perverts of the world?" Naruto asks trying to understand what Jiraiya just explained to him.
"It's not porn, it's the greatest form of literature the world has ever seen you twerp." Jiraiya says as his grip on the steering wheel tightens in frustration. He can't believe this brat just blatantly disrespect his art, at least he didn't have a fetish for explosions and puppets because those types of people are weird.
"So is that how you are able to afford this expensive convertible car?" Naruto follows up ignoring the man's desperate plea.
Jiraiya sighs, this kid is just as stubborn as his mother. Kaguya knows that he couldn't take both of them nagging him at the same time. Minato was surely a durable guy, Jiraiya knows for sure he isn't.
"Yes Naruto. That's how Jiraiya makes his living. Even if it isn't the most appropriate line of work that there is out there for a man of his background." Tsunade adds as she is stares into the distance.
"Hey I'll have you know that my writing has even brought peace to rivaling nations. Even if it was by accident that one time." Jiraiya sulks a bit remembering that unfortunate situation.
"Whatever, I think I'll call you Pervy Sage. You know cause your old and wise plus your a super pervert." Naruto says smiling with his new bright idea.
Tsuande begins to laugh at her childhood friend to his expense. She even begins to cry at how funny it is. "The Great Jiraiya, the master of the female anatomy and the Pervy Sage." Tsunade mocks Jiraiya and begins to laugh uncontrollably.
"Okay I understand that you write smut that makes a lot of money, but what else do you do Jiraiya." Naruto ask with sincere curiosity. He doesn't like his situation but he has to do with what he got. These are his last two family members. An old drunken lady fixated with her beauty and an old pervert with a hobby of writing porn.
"I am the Secretary of Defense of Konoha. You should've learned about me in damn school if you payed attention. From what he told me you only like basketball and ramen noodles." Jiraiya says with a chuckle.
"Yeah, he liked it too before he got into politics. And I didn't go to school as you should've known, I was homeschooled." Naruto reminds Jiraiya.
"Can you two talk about this in the morning please? I'm trying to sleep and we still have like eight hours of driving left." Tsuande says as she tries to find a comfortable spot in the front-seat to lay down.
"No problem, how about we make it there in seven." Jiraiya puts on his devilish smile and shifts gears. The car jolts forward as Tsuande screams in fear for her life, Jiraiya laughs in enjoyment and Naruto screams in excitement this is going to be fun.
-Jiraiya's Residence, 12:05 pm-
"Holy shit. Why is this house so huge," Naruto exclaims. He could see a basketball court although it's only a half court , a swimming pool and a huge as trampoline. The house also looked very modern from the outside being painted white with black stained glass windows.
"Language Naruto." Tsunade scolds the boy and hits him in the head. "You're not going to have a dirty mouth like Jiraiya."
"Hurry up, let's go inside." Jiraiya speaks ignoring Tsunade's last comment. As they get inside Jiraiya shows Naruto his room. It's an orange room with crimson carpets. There is a picture of a great fox on the wall.
"I could have it redecorated for you if you want." Jiraiya asks the boy, this room always was weird to him but he's rarely ever home to deal with it.
"No thank you Pervy Sage. I think I'll be fine here. I actually like the orange." Naruto looks at the room and it feels right. "So if you're not home half of the time and Tsunade doesn't live here that means I'll be here by myself sometimes."
"Yeah, but I'm always one phone call away and Tsuande will probably be over all the time now since your here. Her work is about three blocks away and her home is about five." Jiraiya explains putting a reassuring hand on Naruto shoulder.
"I think some of your personal belongings you keep in your room at the Hokage Tower I could get for you. You know to make you feel more at home." Jiraiya continues in his effort to cheer Naruto up.
Naruto embraces Jiraiya tightly, "I'll be fine you old pervert." Naruto begins to cry and let all the tears out.
"It's fine Naruto, I got you." Jiraiya says bringing the boy head into his shoulders. Tsuande watches on from a distance a bit envious that he breaks down around Jiraiya but not her.
'Jiraiya is a great guy, I don't know why I passed up on him. I mean I will forever love Dan but something about Jiraiya. It's not like I want to live here because my place is just as good but there's something he has that I just wish he could share with me forever. Naruto has it too, not this Naruto. He's a shell of his former self but kid Naruto. That smile could melt a demon heart on a rainy day.' Tsuande contemplates about her life decisions. Unbeknownst to her the other two person in the house are staring at her wondering why she's looking so down. Jiraiya obviously goes forward to make the first move.
"Hey sexy. You hungry because I could use a box of pizza if you want to go for it ." Jiraiya whispers in her eyes in a very seductive tone and snakes his hand around her waist. Shivers run down Tsuande spine as the blood flows towards her cheeks. She blushes a light red and tries to hide her face in her green jacket she has on.
"Whatever Pervy Sage. I guess I do not mind some pizza." Tsuande answers not turning her head towards him still hiding his blush.
"Hey Naruto, I know what you could do. You could go through the book on the table. I put some high schools information in some of them and pick one. Then when we return, we could decided on what high school you should attend." Jiraiya states as he motions Naruto to the folder on the dinning room table.
"Yeah, yeah old man." Naruto sighs as he sits to the head of the table and flips open the book. Naruto isn't interested in going to school to be completely honest with himself. Jiraiya has an amazing house with a beautiful view of Konoha. It has a movie room, a game room, a pool and a basketball court. Like he could become a rich, spoiled brat and play games all day.
'That's a horrible idea, I don't know how. But I know two things for certain. My mother would kick down the gates of heaven, walk down those stairs and politely beat my ass.' Naruto ponders his original idea. He shivers slightly thinking of what his mother would do to him if she dreamed that he had dropped out of high school.
"Bye honey." Tsunade ruffles Naruto hair as she goes out to the car with Jiraiya.
-Jiraiya's House, 1:00pm-
"We are back hunny." Tsunade calls out balancing two boxes of pizza in her hand.
"I want to go to Konoha high school." Naruto says with enthusiasm in his voice.
"Hell no. I'm glad you actually read the entire book but I didn't think you were going to make it pass page ten. You are not going to a public school." Jiraiya said bluntly.
"But you said pick one. That's the one I decided to pick." Naruto retorts looks at the man with a pleading look.
"Why do you want to go there?" Jiraiya asks testing the boy.
"Well because they have Human Resources and the other courses I need to become Mayor." Naruto says with conviction. Jiraiya and Tsunade both tighten up at the job he wants to pursue.
"I don't mind the school that much. I'm pretty sure your Uncle Kakashi teaches at the school." Tsunade suggests while going over to Jiraiya to stroke his arm.
"I said no." Jiraiya repeats his decision with a stone cold glare.
"Well let's settle this in the only way how." Naruto stands up from the table and stares at Jiraiya. He knows this is going to be the most intense and epic battle of the year.
"One game only." Jiraiya retaliates, he won't ever lose to a brat.
-Ten minutes later-
"I can't believe I lost to the brat." Jiraiya cries out in a loud dramatic voice. Tsuande is next to him on the couch, rubbing his back trying to console him.
"I don't know why you thought you could've defeated him." Tsunade reasons with the man. "He's to strong I told you that there had to be another way."
"I've been practicing, I'm like a Legend. I've save many villages, made powerful comrades and unlocked powerful new form. And I lost to a kid." Jiraiya starts to monologue.
"You do know it was a game of checkers right." Naruto deadpanned at the two adults sitting in front of him, he shrugs is shoulder and picks up another slice of pizza. "Well Pervy Sage I guess I'm attending Konoha Highschool."