Sorry for the looong hiatus everyone, I had a lot of work I had to sort through and not a lot of time to devote to this story.

I do not own anything.

Nightmares

As they'd both found out there were many ups and downs to sharing a bed with someone. One could say the ups exceeded the downs, and most of the time Camilla and Ryoma would have agreed with that. When the former first came to the royal palace the maidens had begun quietly joking they'd be cleaning brown and now violet hair out of the bed all day. It'd been a harmless jest everyone had gotten a laugh out of. Camilla had adjusted quickly enough to sharing Ryoma's bed, openly stating the greatest aspect of it was the big brown pillow she got to cuddle up with every night and every morning. All things considered the bedroom had become the couple's place of privacy and calm, where they could be open with each other with no peering eyes. At least until that's what they thought.

Ryoma remembered the first time she woke up screaming in terror, it was a moment he'd never forget.

"Camilla, Camilla! Be still, you're safe!" The samurai shouted throwing his arms around her. She was shaking, badly, worse than Ryoma had seen her in months. A minute passed before her hysterics came to an end leaving only her heavy breathing. The room was quiet, almost too quiet save for the two of them. "It's okay, I'm right here." Ryoma whispered as he rocked her back and forth, something he'd gotten somewhat used to doing since that afternoon following the defeat of Anankos. "Whatever it was, whatever happened, it's over, I'm right here and I promise you I'm not going anywhere." He wasn't sure if Camilla even heard his voice, but he had to try least he'd never be able to forgive himself.

Seconds turned into minutes, those minutes ticked by like clockwork, only marked by the lazy passing of the clouds outside. Leaves rustled by the wind provided something of a soothing melody the Nohrian woman used to calm herself in tandem with Ryoma's soft stroking.

"I…I…I'm sorry." He'd only heard her voice sound this small and fragile once, that evening that seemed like a lifetime ago. "I…didn't mean to wake you up."

"Think nothing of it, I'm only concerned with your safety." He calmly responded.

"Heh, some things never change, do they?" Heavy despair laced her voice as she buried her face in the crux of Ryoma's neck. Her tears had finally dried though Ryoma feared their source still remained rooted deep within his beloved. Her sweaty hands gently clawed at his chest, gripping the fabric of his jinbei. Eventually she pulled away from him, Camilla was unable to look him in the eye and that worried him. "I…I need some time alone, Ryoma. I promise you I'll be right back." Without another word she left the comfort of the sleep mat and disappeared behind the door. No doubt to wash her face if Ryoma had to take a guess.

Left alone in the silence Ryoma cursed himself for not immediately giving chase. Cleary something had found its way into the heart of his Nohrian lover, what he had no idea. While he acknowledged Camilla has an immensely strong person both physically and spiritually there were a lot of ways in which she was still fragile. He remembered those few times he'd seen her hearty facade crack. Not at all pretty things to witness. Quietly gnashing his teeth he waited patiently for his wife to return to their bed, counting the minutes as they passed by. After what felt like an eternity she did return, the tear stains gone from her eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ryoma asked as they settled back into bed.

"Yes, again, I'm sorry about that. It was just a stray nightmare. Nothing to worry your pretty little head about." Giving him a kiss on the noise she laid back down, appearing to go back to sleep and ending the discussion before it could even get started.

Ryoma wasn't surprised when that one stray nightmare became two, then three, and before long almost two weeks had passed with Camilla barely getting five hours' worth of sleep in each day. Almost every other night was a repeat of the first night: screaming, shaking, shivering, and most of all tears. Ryoma held her each time, allowing her the time to cry out the pain until it was over. Sometimes she was able to go back to sleep in semi-bliss, other times not so much. When it was the former he kept he allowed himself to doze off into a light slumber, but for the latter he remained as wide awake as she did.

The effects of such hectic happenings became all too clear when the sun rose and the royal couple set out to start their day. Naturally, both the samurai and Wyvern rider were adapt to long hours with little time to rest between them, but those closest to them began to notice the pattern. In the case of Ryoma it was the extra glance he shot towards his wife every time they saw each other, there was no hiding the naked concern his fierce brown orbs. Upon laying eyes on the Queen of Hoshido it was easy to see why. Slowly but surely bags were beginning to develop under the axe-wielding royal's eyes, her movements carried an air of fragility and alertness as if she were wondering through a battlefield instead of a secure castle or even the city streets. A handful of servants reported seeing her attempting to catch a nap or two in when the moment allowed for it. Naturally such things were kept to themselves, but word still found a way to spread amongst the servants and into some of the local gossip circles. Amongst the inner circles of Hoshido's elite and upper class rumors about the "hard life" began circulating like wildfire. For the most part such gossip was kept contained behind closed doors, but that would only last for so long.

"This is madness! She has to tell him! We have to tell him! Someone has to tell him!" Selena screamed kicking a training dummy down for the fifth time, then doing so again when the magically animated doll stood right back up.

"I agree, but it's not our place to do so." Beruka chirped in sipping her tea.

"I for one would actually like to know what this something is. Really, I'm starting to become worried for Lady Camilla as well." Both Nohrian retainers turned to look at Kagero. True to her words honesty radiated from her eyes like the fading light of the sunset outside the training hall. "Please you two, if there's something going on tell me so I can tell Lord Ryoma."

To the surprise of no one Kagero and Beruka got along rather well, to the surprise of quite a few people the dark-haired ninja seemed able to befriend Selena. A kind of sisterhood had formed between the three women based on protecting their married lords. That sisterhood led to times like this, meeting in certain places to discuss what new issue plaguing their charges.

With a sigh Selena tossed away her practice sword and sat down beside her two co-workers. Her legs with crossed as were her arms, her face was downcast, something between a pout and a deep frown. "It's…this isn't the first time this has happened, It's just…Lady Camilla's…nightmares are becoming more regular now."

"So she's had them before?" Kagero inquired.

"Yes, though she'd rather not have anyone know about them. Outside of the Nohrian royal family very few people know of the demons that haunt Lady Camilla at night." Beruka affirmed, her voice steadfast and calm. "As you can expect it's a secret we worked very hard to keep, Lady Camilla herself was quite adamant we never speak of it to anyone. You see a few nights we had to be the ones to calm her down." A silent tension seized each of the Nohrians before Kagero, deep emotionally pain crossing their faces in the blink of an eye. For Selena the pain lasted a little longer while for Beruka it was gone as quickly as it came. "I-"

"She's only human." The redhead interrupted looking Kagero dead in the eye. "You know Lady Camilla's seen many horrible things, things that would keep even the most harden of soldiers up at night. Now I don't want to drag Nohr down but-"

"I understand, believe me, I do." The ninja politely stated holding a hand up. Not for the first time she could sympathize with her lord's spouse. Nohrian court life…compared to what we have here in Hoshido she must still be struggling to process it. One can hardly blame her. "I'll relay this information to Lord Ryoma, in the meantime we have to deal with-"

THUNK!

"It's already been handled." While Kagero and Selena stared at the kunai that had implanted itself in the floor a few feet from them Beruka sipped her tea as if it had been no more than a bird chirping. "I suspect in a day or two the gossip circles will have moved on to a new topic, perhaps the one a less volatile."

Kagero leaned in close to Selena, "Sometimes, I feel those two do more work than I could ever manage, and that's saying something."

"What do you expect? Neither of them have much of a private life outside of protecting our Lord and Lady." Selena hotly replied shooting a sideways glare at her nonchalant partner. "You'll pass the word onto Lord Ryoma?"

"Definitely."

As with many things the bedroom would be where the drama played out. The dark-haired ninja was not at all surprised to find her lord there, waiting patiently for his wife to return home. Before she could even open her mouth Ryoma called her down, already knowing she was in the room.

"This is about Camilla, isn't it?" He calmly asked.

"Er, yes sir. I…I believe there's some information you must know about Lady Camilla, about her mental health." Kagero admitted feeling a nervous sweat develop. It wasn't until her lord gave her an affirmative nod that she had the strength to continue.

Almost three minutes passed before the two of them heard the soft pounding of footsteps against the floorboards. Kagero wisely took her leave, entrusting her lord to resolve the situation before the night's end. True to their predictions the door slid open revealing a rather exhausted looking Camilla, her lilac-colored hair looking uncharacteristically disheveled and out of work. The bags that had been whispered about were now visible.

"Welcome home." Ryoma offered with a warm smile.

"Glad to be back." She got out before falling into the arms of her husband. "Ryoma, would you mind if I caught a quick cat nap in? I promise it won't be long."

"Take all the time you need." Ryoma offered creasing her head. "I believe it's been something of a long day for both of us." As soon as he said the words Camilla was asleep, her soft slumbering music to the king's ears.

Said music was interrupted almost twenty minutes later when her frightened shouts disrupted the quiet calm of their bedroom. Like many times before Ryoma was there for her.

"I hate this." Camilla whispered.

"You know you don't have to fight this battle alone." Her husband offered pulling away so they were directly across from each other. The impossibility gentle gaze he reserved for only his closest loved ones was aimed directly at her and that was enough to drive away the residual darkness surrounding her heart. His left hands began running the smooth surface of her skin, intentionally running over the golden band on her finger that mirrored his. "I'm right here, Camilla, and I promise you, whatever fear, whatever doubts, none of it is going to stop me."

Some days Camilla wanted to curse him and that unshakable aura of his. "Ryoma…it's not you I worry for, it's…me." No sooner had she said the words did she find her love's lips passionate brushing up against hers'. Upon pulling back she found him still smiling at her while a luminous blush was slowly spreading throughout her face. "Oh fine, I guess there's no hiding from you." She sighed looking down at their still connected hands. "The truth is I'm…I believe I'm still trying to adapt to all of this. Not the idea of being queen but…but…the very concept of being happy."

"You don't think you deserve to be happy?"

"You know better than anyone I've done many terrible things, things I'm going to take with me to grave." She replied looking at him with a lone eye and sad smile. "When I walk through these palace halls I'm reminded of my home in Nohr, sometimes I think back to it. Remembering the fear that walked with me every night when night fell." By reflex her grip on Ryoma's hands tightened as a whirlwind of memories passed through her mind. Her self-control kept the anxiety contained and there only for a second. "I used to channel all those fears and anxiety into fighting, but now, with no battles to be fought or blood to spill I fear all those old feelings are looking for a chance to return. Heh, you could almost say I used war as an excuse to run away from my own trauma, shameful, isn't it?"

"Better that than letting the trauma break you." The samurai offered hoping to ease his wife's feelings of uneasy.

"But I fear it has broken me, Ryoma." Her face fell forward into his shoulder. His arms left the comfort of her hands then snaked around her waist. Camilla had done things like this so often for others she'd forgotten what it felt like to be comforted herself. "I dream of walking Krakenburg's halls, powerless and defenseless. Blood stains the walls while unknown voices cry out. Some of them I know, others I don't." Something in her gut told her Ryoma could picture the nightmarish image she was describing. He was a strong man, one who could weather even the worst of carnage with a straight face. The fact he only tightened his embrace of her meant she hadn't scared him off yet. "When it's at its worst I see my mother, standing before me, judging me. We scream at each other, hurl accusations like arrows hoping one will be the fatal blow that finally ends the argument once and for all. Eventually I get so frustrated I resort to physical violence, only to find myself striking a mirror instead. I've spent hours upon hours arguing with myself, trying to deny what I am."

At first Ryoma didn't say anything, and that worried Camilla a little. When he did speak nothing in his voice had changed. "Indeed, a frightening nightmare, but a pale imitation of reality. The Camilla I know, while certainly passionate and quick-witted, could never be the heartless woman your mother was."

"Maybe you don't know that Camilla as well as you think." Camilla stated half-heartedly.

"Or maybe you're just not giving yourself enough credit." Pushing away so they were eye to eye yet again Ryoma's face turned serious. "I wish I could reach into your mind and cut out those nightmares, since I cannot all I can do is remain here, in the waking world. I'll tell you this as many times as you need me to, whatever you see, whatever you're told, none of it is true. The trauma and nightmares, I know they may hurt, but you're strong enough to beat them because I've seen you beat worse."

"My, if the court nobles could hear you, they'd say I've sunken my claws into you and seduced you into becoming my servant." She giggled. The light that had once been lost was slowly returning to her.

"I'd just respond I've gotten to know the real woman who rides the Wyvern." Ryoma chuckled kissing her forehead. "One I will always stand beside, no matter what anyone says or what comes after her. Knowing that don't ever feel as if you have to keep something from me, be it your past or your fears."

Tears graced edges of Camilla's eyes. Once again, she fell head-first into the chest of her beloved husband, happily accepting the warmth he transferred from himself to her. "You really are a stupidly honest man, you know that, Ryoma?"

"If I wasn't would you have allowed me to court you?"

"Good point, I have had many suitors employ many tricks and tactics, but you're the first to honestly attempt the straight and narrow path. I guess deep down that scared me too, how…decent you were." The Nohrian woman admitted nuzzling her lover's chest. "I'm sorry about making you worry."

"Apology accepted, next time just come tell me what it is that's bothering you, I promise I'll do everything in my power to help."

"You already have, my love." She whispered as he reclined back into the sleeping mat. "Just being here, doing this for me, it's more than enough."

Sleep soon came for the married couple, and this time there were no interruptions.

A little bit of PTSD, if there's one thing I can say about the Nohrian siblings it's that growing up the way they did would more than likely result in them having a fair bit of unresolved issues. Sometimes they're touched and that's what I decided to do here. Of course, Camilla's not the only one who has nightmares, something I'll revisit in the future.