"With difficulty, huh? That's the best Hei Bai could say about my end of the stick," Peng complained to me as he walked across the parade ground that morning.
"Since when do you care about my opinion?"
"Because you're smart and you know exactly what I'm talking about."
Damn him. Sure, we were getting paid to kill. I can even do that with a clean conscience. But it's a whole other thing to enjoy it!
"You were showboating," I said to Peng. "But hey, I guess you deserve to, after all; half of people on the FOB now believe that you're the Oni of Si Wong. Feels good, huh?"
"Don't joke about that," He said. He paused for a minute. "But it does have a certain ring to it, huh? I've been accused of worse things. This time it might actually be true."
He wrapped his checkered Si Wong bandanna around his neck. I noticed for the first time that in the middle was a bullet hole and it was stained with blood. I emptied the rounds from my scattergun and placed them in my ammo box.
"You know about Chang's new fame? They're calling him Baboon. Someone made a patch of a baboon with a bright red butt. Han, from Dagger Seven slipped into hi ruck the other day. I really want to be their when he finds it, you know? Just to see what he thinks."
"You shouldn't take credit for something like that, even if you did it."
"What, the patch?"
"No, the Oni."
"Who says I'm not? You never know. It's bad form to brag about doing anything in spec-ops. Like the ancient generals said, 'appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are week, for this is the axiom of success, and all war is based upon deception.'"
"Why do you keep that trophy then?" I said, waving index finger in a circle around my neck. "That's a little macabre, even for us."
"What are you saying?"
"Well there's that bullet hole, so it must've come from some poor idiot you bagged in the dessert. Unless you're unsporting enough to grab a trophy off someone else's kill.''
I didn't know what got into Peng. He froze. His lips trembled. His eyes quivered. For a moment I'm reminded of the last I saw of Rando. And like Rando he suddenly lashed out.
I wasn't in pain, so much as confused. I barely had time to react the fist that came crashing into the side of my skull and sent me straight into the ground. The sky and everything I saw was spinning, but I could make out Peng standing above me, rolling up his sleeves.
All I could think to say was, "Why?"
The ground erupted from beneath me, launching me back to my feet. He grabbed me by the collar and pulled me close.
He swung wide again for my face, but I managed to catch his fist in my hand before he struck me. I look into his eyes and the seconds drag. For the first time since we met he looks… broken.
"Peng, have you lost your freakin' mind! For Yue's sake, we both fought in the Si Wong desert."
I began to arc electricity between my fingers, but then I saw the rock he was hiding, floating behind his back.
"You're a mercenary, Peng," I said. "You don't have values. You don't have grudges. You're just doing your job for the money, just like me. You want to have to explain to your employer why one of their assets is in the hospital when the time comes for them to cut the checks? Make the rational decision."
He froze for a second, mulling it over. Having to deal with the reality of the situation. Then he let go of me, dropping the rock and stormed off. He disappeared into his tent and heard the sound Peng punching his locker until his knuckles bled.
I heard the sound of slow, sarcastic clapping behind me. It was… Hei Bai!
"Bravo, young man."
"Is there something I can do for you, sir?"
"Just answer a question for me."
"What?"
"Why do you let him push you around like that?"
"He wasn't worth the effort''
"Effort? He wouldn't even take any effort. I know all about what you can do. Who you are. What's your real name?"
"You know my birth name is Hou Yi."
"No, not the name your father gave you. Your real name."
"It is Hiro."
"You know, Hou Yi, you really disappoint me sometimes. If you just-"
"Keep it up," I said, "and I'll do to you what Peng was gonna do to me."
And at that Hei Bai turned around and walked away, throwing one of those 'good-bye' waves over his shoulder.
All alone I wondered around the camp. I didn't want to go anywhere in particular, but I started wonder if maybe Peng was right. I'd have enough money to finally retire.
I could always go to the Earth Kingdom again. I certainly had enough money for it. I could be the richest man in the landfill. Back in the land of the smog. The land where the children are run over in the gutter and everyone ignores it to go about their business while their not-actually-concrete styrofoam buildings crumble around them. The land where you don't actually own anything and the government can repossess all that you have at a moment's notice.
No! If I am going to retire I am going to retire well. When I was security aboard that cargo ship we had often made port in the Fire Nation. I remember Fire Fountain City and the others like it. They were cities of insomniacs - alcoholics and workaholics alike. And unlike the cities of the Earth Kingdom they were always clean. The thick haze of smog had been replaced by blinding neon. The grandeur was nauseating. I remember a profound sense of vertigo trying to take in the skyline from ground level. Whether in the Earth Kingdom or the battlefield, I spent my life living with a paper bag over my head and I had been exposed to colors I had not even known existed, all telling me to spend, spend, spend.
In reality it was still the most tranquil place I'd ever been. The office salarymen would work themselves to death willingly without the need of suicide prevention nets, even. some one once said, "a rock does not throw itself, but fire consumes all unless quenched." The Fire Nation culture was very civil because civility meant survival.
You wouldn't think that from the news. It was always hysteria of crime this, youth gangs out of control that. That's the problem with firebending, though. After the genocide a whole generation of people promised to never practice firebending again. Now they were reaping their rewards as the next generation grew up covered in bubble wrap and discovering they had powers of destruction at their fingertips, but were never given any practice or discipline in controlling it.
At the end of the day, that only made it on the news for being the exception. Oh Yue, I hated living in the cities. With enough money I could live out somewhere peaceful in the Fire Nation countryside. Where the mountains meet the seas. Of course I'd need enough money for a forger, I'd have to change my name again. Starting over was the point, after all, wasn't it? Yes. I'd fight this war a little longer, and then I'd never have to fight or want again.
Then I heard a voice that broke my train of thought. A voice that was calling my name. I saw a native soldier beckoning to me.
"Hey! You Hiro? Get over here, friend!"
I approached him and he disappeared inside a rather large tent. I followed him inside the flaps and no sooner had I entered then I was before a sea of cheering faces while a shot glass was forced into my hand and a half dozen natives were patting me on the back and rubbing the back of my head. One of them poured baijiu into my cup until it overflowed as the other's began to shout, "Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!" I took the shot and it burned on the way down. The cheering resumed with greater applause.
"We heard about your mission. Everyone has," one of the natives said. "It's about time someone gave it to those monsters!"
"Three cheers for Hiro!"
"Forward Together! Hip hip hoorah! Forward Together! Hip hip Hoorah! Forward Together! Hip hip Hoorah!"
"You might be an outsider, Hiro, but today you are one of us."
"An outsider?" I asked. "We're both yellow skinned and I am definitely no waterbender; aren't I one of you already?"
The natives looked at me with blank faces before they burst into tears laughing at my.
"No. No Hiro, things aren't that simple over here like they are in the mainland. City folk never seem to understand."
"You don't like the city folk?" I asked, sheepishly
"Do you mean like in the Capital City? Of course not!" one of them said. "Don't worry, they don't like you either."
"I thought Du Lin was trying to make the country a better place for everyone…"
There was more laughing, "forget about Du Lin. Du Lin is not the problem."
"My son," one of them said, "He went to the city looking for work. He is a hard worker. He came back to his village with tears in eyes. He only wanted to work a job to send money back home but everywhere he went he was spit on and no one would hire him. In his own country! Can Du Lin pass a law that says 'you must be kind to others'? I wish it were so but it is not."
"But what of the schools," I asked.
Another answered, "Schools? My brother tried to go to school. I was helping to pay for him, but the closest school was ten miles away and he had to walk there each day. My father could not afford the loss of his work in our village. What good do these schools do us when no one can go to them? I have joined the military to help support my father."
"I have an education and the franchise," a third said. "I even voted in the Party before the war began because I believed in the cause. I still do. But I will not let our Liberation movement be co-opted by trouble makers."
A wave of voice saying "aye!" rang out.
"Then why do you all fight for the Water Tribe?" I asked.
"Fight for the Water Tribe? Never! We fight for our land and our lives today. And we proudly do it alongside the Water Tribe soldiers who are fight for the same reason. We are glad to fight even alongside the likes of outsiders like you because you are willing to risk their blood for our safety and our homes. This is our land. Once this war is long over and done, then we will return to taking back our country. But we must do so as men and not with fire or bullets or hand grenades."
I continued to drink with them. As they celebrated and the conversation changed to a more pleasant topic I asked if Chang had celebrated with them. He had earlier, they said. They tried to get the baboon to be the symbol of our team, but Hei Bai had very firmly said no. As if to smother the joke he released an insignia for our unit in the form of a large bird of prey…. Perhaps even the Magnificent Peng. still, as I left the tent I couldn't shake the feeling that it was wrong to be here.
After sobering up enough to check my watch, I hurried over to Hei Bai's tent. Today was the day of the big reveal, where Du Lin would present her protest of the war to Republic City and reveal the Air Nomads involvement in the war.
"Has it started yet?" Buno rushed into the room and squatted down next to the telescreen.
"Not yet," Hei Bai said as he adjusted the tuning of the tele's antenna.
"Has anyone seen Koko?" Asked Peng as he walked into the room and sat down, doing everything he could to not make eye contact with me. His had wrapped his right fist in a bandage.
"Not sure," said one of the soldiers gathered around the telescreen, "I think she's drinking her paycheck."
"Maybe she's off sulking with Thein Kyu?"
She didn't want to know. She didn't want to see.
"Almost got it," Hei-Bai said. "it's tricky, tuning into a signal bouncing on the ionosphere."
"—and I would like to appeal to this council, and to the Avatar himself that diplomatic action be taken. That the rights of our nation, our people, upheld. That we be treated as equals. We ask for no special treatment. We do not even ask that any action be taken: I only ask that a single action be ceased."
A plethora of whining vomited forward. Whoever told us when the council's meeting would be was off by a whole time-zone.
I could make out from the grainy black and white image the large Republic City council chamber. The whole room was full. Du Lin stood there before the other council members with her aids behind. It looked more like she was on trial than an open forum of discussion. With the graininess of the feed and the black and white color, I could barely tell a single person apart from one another.
"First thing I'm buying… color telescreen," Peng once said when we were talking about what we'd do with our contract money, if we lived that long.
"Color tele exists?" Chang asked, genuinely surprised.
Koko said, "Yeah but it's stupid."
"Says you!"
"C'mon Peng, no one films in color, so you've paid twice the price for what's really a black and white telescreen."
"What about the toons? Those are in color."
"Well…" said Chang, "If I wanted to see a toon, I'd rather got to one of those theaters like they have in the cities. Big screen. Friends. Live band. Why would anyone ever want to sit around their home and watch toons on a tiny screen all by themselves. Besides, don't have electric power in my village yet anyway"
Back in the present day, I saw one of the councilors on the TS rise to their feet. An air nomad.
"This is an outrage!" He shouted, slamming his fist on the table. "There is no proof here that my government was responsible for these series of attacks. You admit readily that the majority of the insurgents were members of the Earth Kingdom by heritage, living on your border. But you find one group of Air Nomads and then you all assume that we are responsible? I thought the world learned its lesson after my people were slaughtered down to a single man.
You have no proof, none, that the Air Sovereignty was responsible aside from those men's heritage. How terrible must your nation be that even airbender civilians will take up arms against it? What kind of a world is it where a state still exists in this day and age that only grants the right to vote to the Water Tribe and denies voting to the Air Nomads."
He turned to the other councilors, "My fellow councilmen, this velvet genocide has gone on long enough. If my people are being oppressed – oppressed to the point that they would need to take up arms against their rulers – then the Air Sovereignty must, and will, use all paths available to her to protect her people both at home, and abroad. We can now all only pray for a peaceful resolution this crisis. The Air Sovereignty votes in favor of the motion for further sanctions..."
I left the room after that. These things drag on for hours, but it was the only part I had to see. Buno followed me out.
"So that's it then, huh? We're finished."
"Nothing is ever finished," He said. "We are all eternal."
"Cut it out, Buno. So how are we supposed to fight against *that*" I said, stabbing my index finger Eastward at some imaginary army just over the horizon. "How are we supposed to win that kind of war?"
"One battle at a time, Brother." He gave a big hearty laugh "I thought you told me we already at war, eh? Then nothing has changed, friend."
"Not a war like this. Not like this. Hei Bai said that our job was to stop war. To snuff it out. To stop the dying before it really started. I've seen it many times and I don't want it to happen here."
"It is a strange world we live in. Those that start wars, those that put the world out of balance, that send countless waves of faceless men to their doom are seen as heroes. Those that truly win are those that manage to prevent the slaughter from ever occurring, and yet they are usually forgotten to history. But make no mistake, the ones who go unsung in songs and succeed before effort and death are needed are the only true winners. This is the Tao. I am not one of those people, but at least I have decided to put trust into Hei Bai. You should know he has big plans for you too."
"Why aren't you one of those people, then?" I asked. "You're strong and wise. Why not you instead of Hei Bai?"
"Then you do not know the true meaning of leadership. There is a tale among the Water Tribe who have not forgotten the old ways, passed down from father to child. The Natives here tell nearly the same story.
Ten hunters make camp on a hill. As one of them climbs to the summit, he is overcome by the beauty he sees around him and begins to dance. The others wish to dance too, but by himself the man on the hill looks like a fool. But one of the nine has the courage to overcome his sense of embarrassment and climbs the hill to see the first hunter. When he reaches the summit, he too understands the beauty and begins dancing. Now there is not one hunter, but two! The others no longer feel embarrassed and make the climb and then they all begin dancing.
Do you see? There is honor in service. Sometimes to lead, you must know when to follow."
As I laid my head down to sleep that night I thought of Buno's words. They gave us all mefloquine pills to prevent malaria. Mefloquine has some unfortunate mental side effects. Irritability. Possibility of hallucination. But mostly intense and vivid nightmares and waking dreams. Of course, these are also all the symptoms of combat stress. I had a mefloquine dream that night. They say if you die in a dream you wake up, so That was my first clue I wasn't the center of that dream. He looked like me at first. Wore all my clothes. Carried my shotgun and a nihonto blade. I thought it was me at first from the hair. When he turned around, I realized it was my father.
My father didn't much look like me. Growing up, everyone I know remarked how much I looked like my mother, Azusa. Of course, my father was never around enough for them to have a real reference point. There were, however, two things he gave me: His green eyes, and his jet-black hair. And now I was watching him running around with a twelve-gauge, shooting at monsters.
They came from everywhere, all at once, thousands of them. But they were weak. One by one, he destroyed them. And when my shotgun ran out of ammo, he switched to his sword. And now the monsters we're getting much closer, close enough to touch him, slash him with their claws or bite him. That didn't stop him; he cut them down like chaff. But eventually he makes a mistake. Eventually he gets tired, and then one little tiny wound after another. Eventually the monsters will win.