Gertie
"Hello, ma'am, what can I get you?" The bartender asked politely.
"A gin and tonic, please dear."
"Oh, spicy getting' started early, huh?" She joked, writing down the old woman's order, "Will that be all Misses…?"
"Salvatore." She smiled, "Gertrude Salvatore."
"Mrs. Gertrude Salvatore." Damon clarified with a smirk.
"Oh! It's so nice to meet you, Mrs. Salvatore! Your son comes here all the time, he's a wonderful member of the community." The bartender gushed, winking a little at Damon.
"I doubt that, my son has lived in Florida for the last five years. My sweet Damon is not my son."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I just assumed. You are lookin' great for a woman with a-"
"Husband?" Damon offered, stopping the bartender in her tracks, "The word your looking for is "husband". Gertie here is my wife."
The bartender looked between Gertie and Damon for a moment with a well-humored smile still on her face and a few laughs escaping her mouth to see if they would prompt them to drop the joke. They didn't. After that, the bartender's smile turned into a flushed expression of confusion and panic at not knowing how to operate under these circumstances.
Gertie was still grinning though, "I know what you're thinking. How the heck did a mess like this wind up with a catch like me?"
The bartender's eyes were on Gertie but flickered briefly to see Damon's amused expression.
"The answer is simple: blackmail." Gertie said, lowering her voice a bit as if telling a secret, "Never take pictures of yourself doing bad things, unless you're willing to tell a story to whoever finds them. And for that matter, said "bad things" are very hard to do whilst trying to aim a polaroid at yourself-the back pain is just not worth it."
The bartender's eyes and mouth only widened since Gertie had started giving her explanation. But the recently discovered Mrs. Salvatore only found one problem with this conversation,
"Could I have my gin and tonic now, dear?"
The bartender blinked herself out of her daze and nodded, "Of course. Right away. Mrs. Salvatore." And promptly started and finished the drink right in front of them before heading off to pretend to check the register. With a smile of triumph, Gertie and Damon clinked their glasses together in a toast to being reunited.
"God, I missed doing that to people." Gertie said, making Damon's smirk transform into a more genuinely amused smile.
"I think you're losing your touch, darling." Damon teased.
"Oh? Was the polaroid bit too dated?"
"I would've said gramophone."
"My dear husband, then they wouldn't have the disturbed imagery of what could possibly be immortalized in those photos. Even if I did use a gramophone, it would just be pillow talk. It wouldn't be my best work. You know I believe actions speak louder than words."