You Can't Have One

Present Day

Elena paced outside for a while with her arms crossed. She wasn't out there long, but just enough for Gertie to slowly hobble outside to find her. She still greeted Elena with a friendly smile, but the young girl only managed a tight-lipped half one.

She didn't seem phased, only knowing. "You're angry at me, aren't you?"

"What?" Elena shifted awkwardly, "No. I'm not… Angry."

Gertie found a bench to sit on while Elena stood beside her. "Fair enough, angry is not the right word. You don't know me well enough to get truly at me. You do judge me though, I'm right aren't I?"

Elena didn't answer.

Gertie snapped her fingers happily, "I am right! Well, unfortunately dear you don't know me or the situation well enough to do that either."

The young girl gave the old woman a flabbergasted expression. Her voice completely indignant, "I know that you're married."

"I know that too. The wedding ring and five children are excellent reminders."

"I also know you brought your boyfriend to look your husband in the face while you declared you were leaving him!" Elena pointed out.

"It's a little hard to leave someone when you haven't seen them in decades. I still talk to him, of course, but I also still live in that house we bought together for our first baby." Gertie said. "I don't know if you've noticed Elena, but it's a rather complicated situation."

Elena ran her hands through her hair, pacing faster and faster until she finally came to a halt. "Look, I don't know what deal you guys had originally, but what you're doing to Damon is cruel."

"How?" The question was made in confusion, rather it was to make Elena clarify her own thoughts.

"Well, you're basically cheating on him!" Elena pointed out, "You've had five children with someone other than him, not to mention Steven."

"And how many women have you seen him with before you knew I existed?"

Elena paused, having to backtrack on her own argument but not willing to give up her convictions. "Like I said, I don't know how you two managed this before. But why do you have to leave him if you're both perfectly fine with having… Whatever kind of arrangement you have with him? It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Elena." Gertie told her. "As we both agree, it's complicated. Things usually are with Damon."

"That's exactly my point. He cares about you!" Elena said, "Damon doesn't care about anything, he doesn't let himself. Not since-"

"Katherine." Gertie said. Elena looked taken aback, the old lady shrugged. "He told me about her too. Though, I'm told you had a much harder time with it, for obvious reasons."

"Right." Elena paused. In her mind she thought about how Stefan, who was in love with her, didn't even tell her about the woman she looked like. Elena found that picture. She sat down beside Mrs. Salvatore.

"But he does care about you, Gertie. I can see that whenever he looks at you. And he really needs someone to care for, someone who brings out the good in him. I just don't know why you can't see that."

Gertie smiled, "How old are you, Elena?"

"Seventeen."

She nodded in approval, "Well, you're much further along in understand Damon than I was at twenty-four. Anyway, I never said I don't see how he cares or that I don't feel the same way. But I don't have to have a ring on my finger just because I care about someone. Elena, my husband doesn't love me."

Elena almost interrupted before Gertie cut her off, "No, I'm not saying he doesn't love me at all, I'm saying he doesn't love me the way you should love a spouse. There is a big difference between the love you have for someone you care about deeply and someone you should and would marry. Have you had many boyfriends, or is Stefan your first?"

"I-I had this one guy, Matt, last year. We were together practically since we were kids…"

"But why didn't it work out?"

"We-I just…" Elena couldn't put it into words, "He wanted things that I didn't, that I wasn't ready for. With Stefan, I feel alive again after my parents died."

Gertie put a hand on her shoulder in comfort. "But you don't hate him. I doubt you even dislike him. In fact, I'd bet that you feel for him in a way that's not quite love and yet it still falls under that category. I'll even venture a guess that you'd describe it as: complicated."

Looking at Gertie, it felt like looking at that picture of Katherine all over again. There was something familiar, identical about what they were talking about.

"You're going to have a lot of those relationships as time goes on. When you get to be my age, hell, when you get to be thirty you'll realize that not every relationship falls perfectly in love, hate, friendship, or even just complicated. You'll realize that some of those "complicated" relationships are a lot simpler than you think they are."

A nod from Elena. Then Gertie continued,

"You'll also realize, like I did, that a romantic relationship-especially a marriage-shouldn't be based on a one-sided need for stability. Damon needs me, yes, to care about him and be there for him like I always have. But I don't need to be his wife to do that."

Steven does need me to be his wife. Because I need him to be my husband. We need each other because we can't imagine not being married. We already feel married, and we act like it. Sometimes, we introduce ourselves as husband and wife, and it doesn't feel like a lie."

"Then why do you have to divorce, Damon?" Elena asked.

"Because it's better for everyone involved." Gertie explained, "With Steven, I have the kind of love I wanted to have with Damon, who I'm married to. It's been a good marriage, no doubt. We've made it work. But Elena, I can't give my heart to one man and my hand to the other, just because it's convenient to do so. If I loved either of these men half as much as I claim I do, even in their own ways, I could never do that to them. Then, I would really be like Katherine."

Elena's olive complexion turned flushed, listening to this woman's words. That last sentence feeling like a stab to the chest. She nearly wanted to cry. But Gertie's warm smile cheered her up.

Gripping the young girl's hand in a friendly manner, Gertie asked rhetorically, "I've had love with one man and a marriage with the other. But I can't have one without the other. Don't I deserve, like everyone else, to try for both in one relationship?"

Elena took a moment to answer, but ultimately she didn't get the chance to as both women saw Damon waiting farther off from them-just staring.

"Go inside dear. I need to talk to him for a little bit." Gertie said.

The young girl got up from the bench, walking towards the door to the restaurant. Elena stopped to share a look with Damon before she went inside, hesitantly.

Then Damon walked over and took her place on the bench next to Gertie.