Thanks again for all the reviews, I'm really happy people are reading my story!
to maba7x: I'm not sure I'll manage to include snippets of every chapter of the 'How to be a Vulcan'-book, but Irina finally manages to read the chapter on relationships in this chapter and there will be a revelation about this book in a later chapter...
to Jamille Shane and lunania: I'll bring up his strictly conservative parents somewhere again, but don't know when yet...stay tuned!
to Bewildred: okay, I will bring in some half-vulcan children somewhere in the story...but it may take a while, hehe ;)
to lunania: 'where Soltec got his wanderlust/curiosity from' - hehe, I had a certain family member in mind when I created his background, she was already mentioned in the story in another context...and you made me think it might be interesting to bring her up again somewhere...
Irina felt very happy after her date with Soltek. There was still a lot she felt unsure about, but it had been so blissful to be in his arms!
As she went into bed that evening she realized the tingling sensation she had all over her body when she was revisiting her time with him. There was no point in denying that she had totally fallen in love with him and she didn't care any longer that he was Vulcan. She would even feel that way if he was Romulan or Klingon...though she started giggling when the mental picture of him as a Romulan and a Klingon came up.
He seemed intend to work out whatever differences there were between their cultures and it might be safe to trust him. She still felt some 'what ifs' coming to her mind reminding her of the emotional disaster with Jason, but they were much less persistent than before.
She fell asleep after a while, but woke up in the middle of the night from a strange dream. They had been in the Jeffery's tubes again repairing a broken power relay. Only this time Soltek had said that he needed to repair her neural interface - whatever that was supposed to mean – but in the dream it had felt like it made sense and was completely normal. Then he had started to passionately kiss her under her chin while removing her clothing. When he was done he put his hands under her chin and Irina felt a breath-taking heat flood her and then they were quickly engaged in what Irina would solely keep to herself...
After the 'date' with Irina Soltek had a lot of reasons to meditate for a long time. These experiences with her were very confusing. It wasn't just her unpredictable emotional impulses, his own reactions were deeply unsettling. He had never engaged in this sort of behavior outside the time of the fever. Yet her stimuli produced reactions in him he knew from that time...
But then he was able to restrain himself in a way he wasn't under the fever. But if he had that much control over his behavior how could he permit himself to act so...emotional. If I only had the fever I could simply take her, a small voice at the back of his mind said. He quickly suppressed the thought, it was unworthy of a Vulcan. He was in control of himself and if he acted improperly he was fully responsible for it and would not find false excuses.
But then it wasn't logical to step back from her either. Too much had happened already. If he would be betrothed to another mate, a Vulcan woman his parents would find for him, Irina would be an obstacle to that bond. He should have considered this before touching her face, it was too late now...
And there was a high probability for Irina to be compatible with him. They would simply need to figure out a way to compromise between their different cultures – and Irina was behaving very logical about that issue. Even though her questions betrayed how little she understood about Vulcan culture, it was logical for her to pose them and his research on human mating behavior made her reactions more and more predictable to him.
And she definitely does want to take him, he had sensed that. There were just some weird emotional obstacles he didn't understand yet. He had felt a reluctance from her to open up to him completely, a mental barrier which allowed him to enter her mind only so far. It was confusing. It had been very different with T'Punh. She had surrendered to him when she was under the fever, but afterwards she had completely shut him out of her mind. That way he had at least always known what she wanted. There had been a clear protocol in their bond.
But Irina was very unlike T'Punh. She was moody and unpredictable. And there seemed to be several levels of her needs. He didn't know how to describe it. Her needs were somehow more than just biological instinct. There was this very alien emotional aspect to her he had never perceived in T'Punh. It was somehow very...gratifying, but also very unsettling. He didn't know how to deal with something like this.
Then it was also very confusing because those different 'levels' in Irina didn't always seem to be in harmony with each other. On several occasions he had sensed her wanting him like she was under the fever, but the moment he had instinctively acted on it and initiated a stronger telepathic connection there had come up a definite barrier...there were some regions in her mind he wasn't allowed to see and she kept her biological instincts under control in a way he had never thought humans to be capable of. It seemed like part of her desperately wanted him immediately and another part would rather observe him from a safe distance first.
This demanded a lot of him. It was very strange to have these...impulses creep up on him when she suddenly started to caress him with that kind of...heat in her mind – and then having to restrain himself because they weren't bonded yet and were in semi-public space or she wasn't fully ready yet and erected those weird emotional barriers in her mind against his telepathic intrusion.
He wasn't sure he would ever understand her human behavior, he only knew that what other Vulcans had told him about humans was a clear indication of how much they had drawn inaccurate conclusions from observing only their surface behavior. They were deeply conflicted people, but had a way to control their emotions he didn't know previously, very strange ways, but much more efficient than he had given them credit for.
And he wondered how human males were able to stand the confusing behavior of their females...
He definitely had a long session of meditation ahead of him...
The next morning Irina woke up still remembering the dream. She had never dreamed something as intense as this and thought that it was slightly weird...especially the focus on the area under her chin... She didn't understand why the thought of being kissed and touched there was suddenly so intensely...arousing.
She shook it off while she was getting ready for breakfast and thought about her to-do-list for the day. When she checked her console she had a message from sickbay saying she neglected to show up to the routine physical for new crew members during a month upon arrival as stated in Starfleet regulation 67-alpha and that she should do so during the next seven days or she would be directly ordered to sickbay in disregard of any other duties she was performing at the moment – and it would be her task to inform her CO why she was leaving her station... She groaned and made a mental note of going there either today if they were open for routine physicals on Saturdays or first thing after her shift on Monday.
She quickly cleared some clothes and stuff away before breakfast because she felt like she needed a long relaxing breakfast and couldn't relax while so much disorder was cluttering her quarters. Under some clothes she found the padd Lamira had given to her with the book on Vulcan culture and put it on the table for some breakfast reading.
When she sat down for breakfast she quickly found the chapter on relationships with Vulcans she had wanted to read all week, but hadn't found the time to.
24. Relationships between Vulcans and non-Vulcans are difficult, but not impossible.
First you should know that Vulcans don't view relationships as something with an emotional component, but like any intelligent social species they know different kinds of relationships and have standards of how to regulate closeness and distance.
Strangers: In densely populated areas it is customary for a passersby to...
Irina skipped that passage and skimmed down until she found the last passage being labeled 'intimate relationships / bonding / marriage'.
Marriages are usually arranged for children by their parents or in traditional clans by the heads of the clans. The customary age for betrothal ceremonies is at the age of seven, but they are not considered fully married until they are mature and have consummated the marriage.
If a bond-mate (that's the closest English translation from the Vulcan word for husband / wife) dies, the family will usually arrange a new marriage. There is an unwritten rule that a widow or widower has to re-marry inside a specific time frame only the family knows.
If an adult widow or widower finds a suitable partner him/herself, he/she may formally propose to that person and present her/his logical reasons. Legally the consent of the parents and clan heads isn't necessary anymore, but still customary for most Vulcans. If all involved parties agree the couple will be betrothed with the same ritual as small children are and they will consummate their marriage at the appropriate time.
This is how it works in 99% of all bonding cases. However like in any society there are sometimes exceptions because things don't work out as planned. There's still a law from ancient times according to which people who decide not to take the person they have been betrothed to can invoke, but it includes a ritual combat and it is only used under desperate circumstances.
As any other species there are rare cases of Vulcans who fail to follow the protocol correctly due to certain circumstances like f. ex. their judgment being impaired by a neuro-chemical imbalance. In cases like this traditionally the clan heads of the involved families would privately negotiate a logical solution after investigating the amount of guilt of their family members and punishing them accordingly.
Irina wasn't sure she understood what the author meant...it sounded a lot like a legal text and she had never been good with those, but it made her hair stand on end... No wonder Soltek had avoided her for some time...was he going to be punished by his clan head for 'failing to follow the protocol correctly'?! Was she putting him in jeopardy? Was he sacrificing his family relations and heritage to be with her?
She read on her heart racing...
From this short summary of Vulcan proceedings you might conclude that intimate relationships between Vulcans and non-Vulcans are very rare and difficult to establish. However it is not impossible, especially if you keep in mind that adult widows and widowers are entitled to choose a new mate for themselves, although most will ask permission from the involved families first.
The correct protocol is very unlike human customs and those of many other species. Vulcans are to propose marriage and be bonded in an official ceremony before it is even allowed for them to touch fingers. If a Vulcan shows his or her interest in a prospective mate to ascertain if the other party is also interested it will most likely be very subtle and difficult to catch for a non-Vulcan. Thus it might come as a shock to most people from non-Vulcan species to suddenly have a Vulcan propose to you out of the blue.
In such a case try to remain calm, explain the mating protocol of your culture to the Vulcan and tell her or him what you both need to do to ascertain your compatibility from your point of view. Under normal circumstances a Vulcan will understand your logic and try to find a reasonable compromise. Keep in mind that Vulcans have a philosophy of peace and tolerance in relation to other species and will not try to impose their protocols on you if you speak up for your own culture's logic although they might have difficulties to see your culture as equally logical as theirs and argue their point. Just insist on your point and back it up with as many logical arguments as you can find.
If a Vulcan should act to this in a way that you can't perceive any logic in her or his behavior, you should calmly tell her/him so and insist on a logical debate. If this doesn't work something is clearly wrong with her/him and you should loudly insist on her/him backing off and call for help immediately.
Please keep in mind that any form of physical contact before marriage is against correct Vulcan conduct.
Of course as in any other inter-species intimate relationship you should consult a doctor/healer about your compatibility, this is no joke.
Gosh, the whole chapter sounded to Irina quite the opposite of a joke! What the hell is this author talking about?!
After all those difficulties have been resolved there is no reason why a non-Vulcan can't be happily married to a Vulcan. As in any other relationships there are some issues both partners have to work out, but don't jump to the conclusion that a logical Vulcan wouldn't be able to satisfy your emotional needs. Keep in mind that Vulcans are telepaths and that they can be very perceptive about your emotions even though they strive to be above such things for themselves.
I am happily married to a Vulcan and we have two children. I would advice you not to try to approach a Vulcan until you are serious about him or her, Vulcans prefer permanent relationships. But if you are serious and work out some cultural differences with her/him it can be immensely rewarding.
The last paragraph calmed Irina slightly, but still this wasn't a good choice to read for breakfast. Her head was totally swimming with all this new and extremely weird information. If she could just ask the author directly what she meant with her advices and warnings, she remembered from the introduction that she was a human female, but the way she wrote wasn't that much different from her cryptic conversations with Soltek. Maybe she had to read the other 23 chapters prior to this to understand her conclusions? She felt like their was a lot of background info required just to understand one sentence of this. And what was this about having a logical debate and calling for help if it doesn't work?! Was this serious or the whole book one large joke?!