Anakin couldn't have said he was entirely satisfied with how the travel arrangements turned out, once Irenia reappeared. The one inherent disadvantage of his speeder bike was that it limited him to traveling alone, while Obi-Wan's speeder could accommodate two.
When Obi-Wan had mentioned her offhand, Anakin hadn't really expected to actually meet this Irenia person, much less for her to be coming back with them to the house, as if her presence were simply assumed. He hadn't expected her to come out of the clinic with a man who turned out to be Lesk's father, and for the four of them to carry on a lively, familiar conversation about people and things he didn't know, with inside jokes he didn't understand. The other presences he'd sensed in the Force at Obi-Wan's house suddenly made more sense, and he had to wonder how many other people Obi-Wan knew here. How many other people knew Obi-Wan, and cared about him.
Once the group separated, easy farewells passing between them, they didn't have too far to go to Obi-Wan's house. That didn't make the painfully tight feeling in his chest as he watched Obi-Wan and Irenia get into a speeder together any easier to bear. She was pursing her lips to hide a smile as Obi-Wan mock-frowned in a way that meant he was clearly teasing her, and Anakin ached for what he'd been missing. No, he would have had to say he was far from entirely satisfied. Luckily, no one asked him.
He breathed a little easier when they pulled up in front of the apartments, and Obi-Wan met him on the walk up, holding out his closed hand. "I've got a present for you, Anakin," he said.
"Oh?" Anakin snorted when Obi-Wan dropped a mini homing beacon into his palm. "Thanks, Master. I think I must have misplaced one of these recently."
"Yes, on the undercarriage of my speeder, I believe."
"Imagine that." The homing beacon hadn't been deactivated, but only reset into its temporary dormant mode, so apparently that was something else Obi-Wan remembered how to do. Anakin would have to get another one back onto that speeder before he left for the night; he had a feeling it might be needed.
As they entered, the lights came on automatically and seemed much brighter than they had earlier. Irenia took off her long coat and hung it over the back of one of the dining chairs. "So, Anakin, you're with the Republic's clone army, aren't you?"
That was one way to put it. "Yeah. I can't actually talk much about our operations-"
"Oh, don't worry." She waved a dismissive hand. "I just ask because, when Alpha originally told me about you, he said you were military and well, I suppose I expected someone... older?"
Anakin had heard that one before. He could tell that Irenia was dubious, but not of him personally; she was probably inwardly burning with indignation at the exploitative system he was a part of, or something like that. Anakin was almost certain it had only taken her two glances at him to decide he was a Jedi, which was fair, since he hadn't exactly taken pains to hide it.
"Not tall enough for you?" he asked, squaring his shoulders and grinning down at her. "I think I'm pretty much done growing, but I'll make an extra effort if you think it's necessary."
A pointedly arched blonde eyebrow acknowledged Anakin's deflection, and Obi-Wan was smirking slightly as he made his way toward the kitchen. "Hold on." Irenia flung out an arm to intercept him. "Where are you going? What do you want? Tea? Soup? I'll make it. You're exhausted - go sit down."
"I'm perfectly capable of pouring myself tea, thank you."
"Have you eaten anything all day?" Not waiting for a response, Irenia turned to Anakin and asked, "Have you?"
"Uh." He'd eaten a nutribar this morning. Probably. Finding himself the recipient of two concerned frowns, Anakin sighed. "I could eat something."
"Good. Do you still have that soup from earlier this week? Of course you do," said Irenia, answering her own question and pointing them both toward the living area. She stood blocking the way to the kitchen as though she intended to guard it from attack.
"There's not much left." Obi-Wan's tone was defensive. Irenia did not look impressed.
"Plenty enough for the three of us, I'll wager. Even Anakin, who's still a growing boy."
She was teasing, but concern had knocked Anakin too off-beat to respond in kind. He hadn't missed the way she was implying Obi-Wan didn't eat regularly enough. Force knew he had tended to forget things like sleep and food under normal circumstances, but without the Force and still plagued by what Ventress had done to him... Obi-Wan couldn't afford to be as careless with himself.
"Go. I'll warm some up for us."
Obi-Wan yawned, moving toward the sofa. "Do refrain from attempting to actually cook anything, for our guest's sake if nothing else."
Being classified as Obi-Wan's "guest" was probably Anakin's least favorite thing to happen in the last thirty seconds, but he ignored the way his stomach dropped. The shadow of a worried frown still etched between his eyebrows, Anakin found Irenia watching him watch Obi-Wan. Her mouth smiled, but Anakin could feel her guarded determination lacing the Force. Irenia's eyes measured him, and he was sure she'd let him know decisively as soon as she came to some sort of conclusion.
He stared back, trying not to hate the fact that he needed her good opinion.
When Obi-Wan sat down, she turned to the kitchen and said over her shoulder, "You should have more faith in me, Alpha. Remember, I kept you alive."
Obi-Wan hummed affirmatively. "Yes, and I'd rather avoid the poetic symmetry of returning to death's door at your hand, if it's all the same."
"You know me better than to think I would ever waste my hard work like that." Her voice floated back to them, and Obi-Wan smiled, rolling his eyes.
"Have a seat, Anakin."
"You sure?"
Anakin flipped open the pouch on his belt, lifted the OEI mapper, and watched Obi-Wan's face shut down. More than just Obi-Wan's aversion to medical contexts, Anakin knew even without being able to sense it that Obi-Wan viewed the scanner with real discomfort; it was there in the sudden stillness that seized his posture and in the strain around his eyes.
Why, Anakin had no idea.
Obi-Wan sighed. "Better get it over with, or you'll never stop hounding me with that thing."
With an apologetic shrug, Anakin moved to sit beside his master and unraveled the lead from the scanner. "It should only take a minute."
Obi-Wan didn't reply, didn't move when Anakin found the implant again, searching with careful fingers under his collar. He was so motionless that Anakin found himself double-checking that Obi-Wan was still breathing.
The procedure was completely non-invasive; all Anakin had to do was hook a lead from the OEI mapper to a port in the implant and press a single button. Obi-Wan shouldn't have felt a thing, but his hands still gripped tightly at the couch cushion he sat on, and his body was completely stiff.
"Does it hurt?" Anakin asked, confused. There was no way there should be any physical sensation, much less pain.
Obi-Wan shook his head. "It's fine." He didn't relax.
Without the Force, Obi-Wan couldn't feel Anakin's skepticism, but simultaneously Anakin was prevented from reaching out to anchor his master. Or trying to figure out the source of his discomfort, for that matter.
With no idea where this unease was coming from, Anakin wished he could let Obi-Wan off the hook or even just postpone taking the reading until his master was less tired. Obi-Wan was right, though - better to just get it over with. And the Force... he knew he needed to do this, so he just murmured, "Just another minute, Master, just a couple more seconds..."
Obi-Wan had said he would allow Anakin to do this, and he was as good as his word. The time stretched, seeming much more interminable than the few seconds Anakin watched ticking across the OEI scanner's viewscreen. The quiet noises of Irenia in the other room kept them company, Obi-Wan enduring until Anakin finally got a full electronic reading from the implant.
"Done!"
As Anakin detached the lead and began to glance through the results readout, Obi-Wan moved to actually sit back against the couch. He let out a long, quiet breath, watching Anakin evenly. "Anything interesting?"
Anakin shrugged, frowning hard at the device's viewscreen. "Don't know yet. I'm going to have to look at this in detail, and run some analyses."
"Mm," said Obi-Wan, sounding about as flatly indifferent as he would whenever Anakin ranted about the variables of the year's podracing season.
Looking up, Anakin grinned. "You are tired." He'd never known the prospect of analyzing a mystery to lose Obi-Wan's interest.
"Of everyone saying that to me, absolutely."
Anakin sighed and started the scanner on a preliminary analysis of Obi-Wan's results before setting it aside. He stretched, leaning back and pulling his legs up to cross them under him. "People only tell you obvious things because you act like you don't notice them."
"Oh, is that why?" Obi-Wan yawned. "I thought it was part of your plot to badger me into an early grave."
That was something Obi-Wan had wryly accused him of thousands of times, surprising and familiar enough to pull a smile out of Anakin. The exchange felt like piloting his Delta-7 with only the stars for company - like returning to Padme's apartments at last after a long campaign. He knew Obi-Wan meant him to smile, but it twisted slightly as a new shade of meaning for his master's words occurred to him.
"Been there, done that."
You'll be the death of me, Obi-Wan had always teased. Anakin never thought it was funny.
"Don't start doing that again. We've been over this," said Obi-Wan firmly, looking Anakin in the eye and leaving him blinking in surprise.
"Over what?" asked Irenia, emerging from the other room precariously balancing three small bowls.
Obi-Wan was still frowning. "About Anakin's strange misconception that what happened to me is somehow his fault."
"Well that would have been nice to know before I bothered to make him soup."
"You made the soup?" Obi-Wan accepted the bowl handed to him with such extreme suspicion that Anakin had to wonder what Irenia had done. Had she used a baked good to poison an entire wing of clinic patients?
Irenia rolled her eyes. "Don't give yourself a seizure, I warmed up the soup. Though it's still certainly more effort than I would have gone to for the being who tortured you."
She handed Anakin a bowl as an afterthought, and he took it silently. The conversation had traveled several parsecs away from any point at which he'd understood what was going on. Should he be defending himself? Apologizing?
He chose neither, instead taking a sip of the soup. It was warm and smooth with a bright, tangy flavor that surprised him. Very quickly, Anakin's body began to remind him that his diet had consisted mainly of nutribars and mess food for months.
"So it's not poisoned, then?" inquired Obi-Wan.
"No, it's good." Illustratively, Anakin took a much larger swallow. "Really good."
Irenia's smile rested on Anakin for a moment, before turning to Obi-Wan. "There goes your last excuse."
Anakin could see Obi-Wan, who was never out of excuses, think of a litany of further ones instantly. Probably perhaps it's a slow-acting poison, before ingesting any I should wait to see if Anakin drops dead in the next 24 hours. But that would have been too much, outstripping the joke and drawing attention to what Anakin was beginning to suspect was Obi-Wan's very real desire to avoid eating. "Mm," was all he said.
Irenia raised a significant eyebrow and then sat back, pointedly turning sideways to sit against the armrest so that she could see both of them. She made herself comfortable like it was easy, and Anakin watched Obi-Wan lift his chin slightly in response to whatever she'd silently communicated.
At that moment, Anakin would have given his other arm to demolish the strange wall that kept Obi-Wan locked up tight in the Force. It was intolerable to sit here, inches from his master, and have no more idea what he was thinking than this random woman. Probably even less of an idea, honestly.
When she looked at him, Anakin tried to quickly exchange the scowl on his face for something more neutral.
"So, Anakin," she said pleasantly, "how was Alpha's torture your fault?"
"It wasn't," Obi-Wan insisted.
"Really? How would you know?" Irenia was blunt, but not unkind. "Just because he has a pretty face doesn't mean anything, Alpha."
"That's not what I said."
Before he could find out how Obi-Wan had described him, Anakin interrupted, "No, she's right, Obi-Wan. You don't know me, and it was partially my fault. We were on this, uh, long campaign. Months." He shook his head. The less said about Jabiim, the better. "I was supposed to be watching your back, but I didn't do my job like I should have. Of course, there were a lot of things going on, but I think it was at least a little because we, well. We were angry at each other, and you'd said some things I didn't like."
Anakin couldn't look Obi-Wan in the eyes. He wanted to skip over this, pretend it hadn't happened that way, and he could have - neither of them knew. But part of Anakin had been waiting to say sorry since the day he'd lost his master, had thought he'd have to keep waiting forever, and he wanted so much to finally be honest, even if Obi-Wan couldn't fully understand.
"I think maybe I thought, 'Well, he can take care of himself,' even though I should have known... Obi-Wan, I'm so sorry."
"Shh, look at me," said Obi-Wan. He had moved closer, leg and side against Anakin's, solid and alive and exasperated. When Anakin didn't respond, a warm, rough hand came up to grip his jaw and turn him to face his master. "I'm going to tell you once and for all that it isn't your fault, and I don't blame you. Now, I don't want to hear any more about this. Can we move on?"
Anakin had to smile at Obi-Wan's stern tone, even as he blinked moisture out of his eyes. Pulling Obi-Wan's hand away from his face, he laughingly said, "Yes, Master."
He only thought about the words when his eyes dropped to Irenia, over Obi-Wan's shoulder. Her expression was guarded, but her wide eyes betrayed the kind of shock that falls like a thunderclap from empty skies. Their eyes locked, and Anakin suddenly realized what he'd said.
Sith. Had she not realized Obi-Wan was a Jedi?
She'd long since pegged him as a Jedi, he was pretty sure - had she not assumed Obi-Wan was the same? Maybe it was just the surprise of having it confirmed? Wary, fearful that he'd broken something fragile and irrevocable, Anakin suddenly didn't want to release Obi-Wan's hand as his master turned to look at Irenia.
Of course, Anakin did.
All Obi-Wan said was, "I told you. Basic survivor's guilt. He didn't have anything to do with it." He sounded actually a little irritated.
Part of Anakin wanted to spend a little more time dwelling on why, exactly, Obi-Wan was so adamant about Anakin's blamelessness. He certainly had no objective proof, beyond Anakin's dubious charm and the fact that Anakin hadn't tried to kill him yet. It seemed out of character for Obi-Wan to make such an unshakable snap judgment based on so little, and Anakin very much wanted it to be evidence that maybe something in Obi-Wan's subconscious did recognize him - at least as no threat. He hoped Obi-Wan's conscious self would share the same opinion.
The rest of Anakin, though, was too busy being impressed by how quickly Irenia recovered from her shock.
"Do you know who did have something to do with it?" she asked, clearly having a bone to pick with that nameless individual. "Medically, I had never seen anything like it."
"I told him," said Obi-Wan.
Anakin was somewhat doubtful that he'd been given the whole story and, from the look she gave him, so was Irenia. It didn't matter, though; he didn't need to hear every detail. Anakin was pretty sure he'd seen enough to be able to read between the lines.
Irenia shook her head. "I just mean to say... I know the galaxy can be a dark place, especially now, but I just can't imagine what kind of creature would do that to another living being."
Anakin blinked at her. "I can."
Expectant, Irenia shifted forward. Anakin looked at Obi-Wan.
"I have wondered... why," he admitted.
Of course. Anakin could imagine the confusion that would have plagued him, waking up with no memories, and grievously injured in an obviously deliberate way. Obi-Wan would have wondered if he had done something to deserve it.
"There's this... woman."
That hadn't come out right. Irenia laughed out loud, and Anakin could feel his ears getting hot. Hopefully his hair hid if they were turning red.
"Of course," said Irenia, still grinning, and Obi-Wan sighed. He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes and generally acted as if he was oppressed by both of their existences, but Anakin could tell he was glad to see Irenia distracted from dwelling on his ordeal. Anakin was, frankly, an expert at discerning Obi-Wan's fake frowns from his real ones.
"No, I mean, we're at war," he tried again. "Ventress. She's the enemy."
"A Separatist?"
Anakin watched Obi-Wan, but all he saw in his master's expression was abstract interest. "An assassin. She works for their leadership, but couldn't give a kriff about their ideals."
He still ran into Ventress, and far too frequently for his taste. So far he'd managed to avoid scuppering vital missions and stranding entire battalions of troops in favor of chasing and dismembering her like she deserved, but it had been a near thing a few times. Especially whenever she taunted Anakin about how she'd killed Obi-Wan right under his nose, killed him and left his body broken in the Jabiim mud, which was, oh, always.
"She was there, during the battle. We knew she was there - I knew she was there - and she had always been gunning specifically for you. That's part of why I should have known there was more to what happened. Ventress would never be satisfied with just killing you."
Mindful of the moratorium Obi-Wan had placed on discussion of culpability, Anakin let some of his disgust leak into his tone. He was talking about Ventress, not himself. This whole time she had known that Obi-Wan didn't die in the explosion; she'd probably enjoyed taunting him about what he thought was his master's fate, laughing because the reality was so much worse. Did she think Obi-Wan was dead, now? That he'd escaped, only to die of the torture she'd inflicted, alone and not even knowing his own name?
Kriffing hell, Anakin wanted to kill her.