Sorry for not posting last week. It's break, and I was gone.
And honestly? I don't much care for this fic anymore. I've already finished it, so I'll finish posting it, but I just... I don't know. It's meh to me. I don't even know what's going on at this point of the story, to be honest.
Enjoy. Or don't. Whatevs.
Cole bounced happily around the room, face bright with a grin, talking wildly. Hank grinned at the sight, walking over to his son and picking him up, swinging him through the air as the young boy shrieked with joy.
It was Cole's sixth birthday. They were about to head to the arcade to celebrate with all of Cole's friends and the boy was beyond excited. He spoke a mile a minute, Hank smiling gently at the boy. Part of him ached inside, but he pushed it aside, not acknowledging the pain. This was a happy day. There was no reason to be sad.
"And, and James said that I couldn't jump it, but I said I totally could! So I jumped it and everyone was so impressed! Even Sara," Cole enthused, cheeks pink with exertion as he wiggled in Hank's arms. Hank chuckled, kissing his son's hair.
These were the times he loved the most. Just the two of them, Cole so exited he could burst. Hank loved these moments and would do anything to… but he wouldn't think of that. This was a happy moment. He listened as Cole kept telling him about how impressed everyone was that he jumped the "giant, bigger than the Detroit river!" puddle, his heart full. A minute passed, when Cole let out a happy gasp, wiggling to be let down. Hank frowned softly, not remembering this. But, he didn't let it ruin his mood. He let Cole down and watched as he ran into someone else's arms. The man, whose face Hank couldn't see for some reason, swung Cole around, both letting out a joyful laugh.
"Connor! You're here! I thought you wouldn't make it!"
The man (Connor, his heart whispered, beating fast) chuckled, swinging Cole around so Hank could finally see his face. His goddamn beautiful face.
He looked so happy, looking at Cole with such tenderness. Such love. It took Hank's breath away.
"Of course I made it, Cole. I wouldn't miss your birthday for the world. What do you think you're going to get?"
That got Cole started, rambling about the presents he wanted, but Hank couldn't hear. A shadow had passed over his heart. This wasn't right. Connor wasn't supposed to be here. He hadn't met Connor yet. Not for three more years. Not until after…
"Hank? Are you alright, darling?"
Darling? Hank's breath caught as Connor let Cole down, the boy running to his room to get his favorite toy. Connor moved gracefully forward, soft frown lighting his beautiful lips.
"Hey," Connor breathed as he got closer, wrapping his arms around Hank's waist. Hank found he couldn't breathe, heart stopped as Connor pressed against him. God, it had been so long since someone had been so close…
"He's getting so big. Pretty soon we won't be able to carry him anymore."
The words were soft, Connor's eyes softer. Hank remembered this conversation, but it hadn't been as pleasant, his wife- but he wouldn't think of her. Not when he had his arms full of warm, supple Connor.
"Yeah. I'll carry him as long as I can, though. He loves it," Hank muttered, pressing his nose into Connor's hair, thrilling at the green apple scent that he found there. It was so… /Connor./
"Wouldn't want you to pull out your back. You spoil him."
Whispered words, hands teasing his sides. Definitely more pleasant than the original conversation.
A warm chuckle sounded then, before soft lips pressed against his neck, causing him to gasp.
"I love you, Hank. You know that, right?" Connor breathed, pulling back to look Hank in the eye. Well. That certainly hadn't happened originally. Barbara hadn't said she loved him in years before they divorced. But it sounded much nicer coming from those perfect lips, so all Hank could do was smile.
"Yeah. I love you too, kid. So fucking much", he muttered, pressing his forehead against Connor's, relishing in the pressure. Connor brought his hand up, pressing it against Hank's heart. He could feel the smile against his chin.
"Good. I worry you don't realize, sometimes, just how precious you are. You mean the world to me. More than anything. I'd wait a million years for you."
God. Those words. From that mouth. He should kiss those words out of him.
So he did. He gently cupped Connor's face, leaning it back to look up at him. Connor looked at him with hooded eyes, sly smile on his lips. Like he knew what was about to happen. Hank leaned in, slowly, and finally, /finally/, pressed his lips against those soft, perfect lips.
God. They were as amazing as he remembered, supple and pliant against his own. He pressed hard against that body, his larger frame dominating the slighter one before him, Connor gasping softly, mouth opening enough for Hank to press his tongue inside.
Just as Hank was about to deepen the kiss further, he heard a noise of disgust coming from the hallway.
"Ewww! Dad! That's so gross!"
Hank pulled back from Connor and couldn't help but laugh, deep and hearty, while Connor's eyes filled with mirth as he pulled away from Hank. Connor walked over to Cole and bent to pick him up, the boy slotting perfectly on his hip. Cole still look disgusted but leaned into Connor, smiling happily.
They looked like they were made to be like that. Like this was an everyday, normal occurrence. Like this happened all the time.
But it didn't. And Hank couldn't help the stab of pain that ripped through his heart at the sight. The facts that he had tried so hard to ignore were making themselves known, at the forefront of his mind. Unable to be denied any longer.
The scene before him had never happened, and never would. Cole was dead. He'd died three years prior. He would never meet Connor. They'd never be so close to one another, Cole slotting so perfectly into Connor's arms, smiling so sweetly at each other. This was only a dream.
The dream Connor had turned to him, eyes concerned, but Hank was already starting to awaken, the magic broken by his realization. The dream Connor called his name, over and over, but Hank couldn't respond, mind waking. It was only when he realized he was now awake that he noticed the voice calling his name hadn't stopped.
"Hank. You have to wake up. You have a phone call waiting for you."
Connor. Connor was saying something to him. Blinking his bleary eyes open, Hank squinted at Connor, his soft hair falling in his eyes, standing by the window. Hank's heart clenched at the sight, his mind bringing up the dream he'd just had. God, it had felt so real. At least it had been more family friendly than the dream he'd had the night before. Even thinking of that dream caused Hank to flush, shoving his blankets off as he walked over to the desk, steps wobbly as his mind woke up.
"Yeah? Who is it?"
"She won't leave her name, but she says that she has urgent business with you. She was about to hang up when I answered, but I asked if she wanted you and she said yes."
Who… Hank never got calls. So who would be calling…?
Unless…
"Shit. I know who it is. And it's they. They don't go by 'She,' they go by they/them."
Connor's eyes went wide, handing the phone over.
"Oh! I apologize. Please, tell them I will not make that mistake in the future."
Hank grunted and put the phone receiver to his ear. He was still half asleep, but he was waking up more and more by the second. The pleasant warmth he'd felt from his dream faded into cold reality. Guess it was time for business.
"Hey, it's me. What's up?"
Hank heard shuffling on the other side of the phone, before Starlight's disgruntled voice came on the phone.
"I got it. It wasn't easy, but I got it. However, there were… complications. Are we still meeting today?"
Their voice sounded awful. All dry and scratchy. An effect added to disguise themself, or a result of whatever they'd done to get the data package? Hank didn't know.
"Yeah, yeah we are. If you want, that is. If not, we can meet some other day, just let me know."
A moment of silence passed.
"I can meet. But we have to talk. You didn't tell me about the plan," they stressed, voice rougher. Probably trying to sound tough. Didn't really work, but Hank wasn't about to tell them that.
"Hey, that one isn't on me. I had no idea. No one tells me anything around here," Hank commented, side-eyeing Connor, who was trying really hard to pretend like he wasn't eavesdropping. The way his ears turned red, though, told Hank that he was.
"Listen, we can talk later. What time do you want to meet?"
"The earlier the better. After the… /events,/ I need to get out of this town. I'll drop it off as soon as I can. Does noon work for you?"
They posed it as a question, but Hank had a feeling it wasn't so much a question as a demand. Luckily, he didn't mind noon.
"Yeah, that works. Hey, thanks. For doing this. Even with recent events this will help. Hell, /because/ of recent events this will help."
Starlight scoffed, glare clear even through the phone.
"Really? Because it makes things harder for /me./ But fine. If this works… well, then maybe one day I'll actually be free. But until then this is very inconvenient," they stressed, annoyance clear in their voice. Hank rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, well they never said progress was easy. Now I have to go. I'll see you later."
Hank hanged up then, not waiting for their response. He didn't want to hear their complaints. He looked up at Connor, who was busy arranging his shelf, which held some of his old artwork that he'd thrown out? For some reason?
"You know, it's rude to eavesdrop."
Connor startled at the words, wide, guilty eyes landing on Hank. Shit, those eyes. They might as well be a weapon, they were so powerful at making him feel things. Both negative and positive.
"I, I'm sorry Hank. I was… I was curious. I shouldn't have listened in. Please, forgive me."
Fuck. How was this legal? How could someone be so adorable while apologizing? Christ, he looked like Sumo, begging for forgiveness after he'd broken something. Or like Cole, when he'd done something wrong. It wasn't fair.
So Hank rolled his eyes. How could be ever stay mad at this kid? Even Connor keeping him out of their plan the other night wasn't enough to keep him angry.
Though he had to admit, that did sting. A lot, actually. Did Markus think him that fragile? Did he think he'd break at anything? How pathetic did Markus truly think him?
Though… he did have some reason. Markus had been the first person to see him, after he'd tried to kill himself the previous month. Before then, Hank hadn't really thought the man cared for him much. Well, obviously he knew that Markus liked him, but he hadn't realized it was any more than he liked any of the other patients. But the man had looked rough, coming into his room. Like he hadn't slept the night before. And when he saw Hank, he'd looked so sorrowful. He hadn't even really said anything to Hank at the time, had just stared at him, making Hank feel like shit. He'd muttered at the end that he was glad that Hank had survived and that he hoped the man never felt the need to ever try again. Then he'd left. It was at that moment that Hank realized that maybe people did care about him. That he wasn't as alone as he'd thought.
So yeah. Maybe Markus had a point. But it still stung. Knowing how far he'd fallen. How much of himself he'd let go. Years ago, he'd have been more than able to help them in their plan. Hell, he might even have been an asset. But now, as he was…
That's why he had to do what he was doing with Starlight. And later, he vowed, staring at Connor's wide, sorrowful eyes, he'd tell Connor. Then Connor could find a way to tell Markus and Cyber would be gone for good. It was all well and good to tell the world about the Company. But it was another thing entirely to have thousands of testimonies about it. The government couldn't deny the existence of Cyber if that many people came out. Plus, safety in numbers.
"I'm not mad, kid. Just busting your balls. Though seriously, don't eavesdrop, alright? We both have our secrets, which is fine. As long as we tell the other eventually, yeah?"
Connor nodded eagerly, face earnest. Christ, this kid.
"Yes. Of course, Hank. I… I hope you tell me soon, but I understand if you don't trust me. I've not done much to earn your trust in the past few days."
Jesus fuckin'…
"Fuck that, kid," Hank snorted, walking closer to Connor. Connor's eyes widened again as Hank put his hand on Connor's slim shoulder, grounding them both. "It's nothing to do with trust. I just… I need to make sure this is the real deal before blabbing about it, yeah? Nothin' personal."
He meant it. Part of him wanted to tell Connor, but the larger part had to keep this a secret. Until he had the flash drive with the data package on it in his hands. He didn't even know why that was important to him. Maybe he wanted to see the look in Connor's eye when he realized how useful Hank could be. That Hank wasn't just a worthless, piece of shit like his father had always said. Like everyone had always said, up until the time he decided to become a cop and do something useful with his life. Yeah. He'd like that look. He didn't want to mar it with disappointment if it turned out Hank couldn't deliver. He might finally off himself if that happened. He honestly didn't know if he was joking or not.
Still, offing himself would mean he'd never get to see that beautiful smile again. Christ it was breathtaking. So small, so gentle. But so genuine. On a face that looked like it didn't smile often, it was perfect.
"Okay, Hank. I trust you."
Part of Hank wanted to say fuck it, throw all caution to the wind, and just kiss those soft lips. Kiss that smile away like in his dream. But he knew better. Connor would never want that. Hank was lucky Connor seemed to enjoy being in his presence. He shouldn't push his luck.
So he just smiled back, squeezing the shoulder he was still holding. Slowly, reluctantly, Hank pulled his hand away and walked over to his dresser, picking out some of his more professional clothes. He changed in the bathroom and headed back to the main room, looking around for his favored jacket. After a minute of searching, he heard Connor clear his throat.
"Hank. Is this what you're looking for?"
Hank looked up to see Connor holding out his jacket, secret smile on his lips. Hank grunted, grabbing the thing, hoping the flush on his cheeks at the image he got of Connor wearing that jacket (and /only/ that jacket) wasn't too noticeable.
"Thanks, kid. Where'd you find it?"
"I fear I never gave it back, after you lent it to me on Sunday. I apologize."
Oh yeah. He'd forgotten that. Connor really did look good in the thing, swimming in the material, playing with the sleeves. So, so good. He pushed down the image that was stubbornly cropping its way back up. He walked over and took the jacket, lingering near Connor. Inside his orbit.
"Oh yeah. Thanks, Connor. 'Preciate it."
Connor's soft smile grew, until it was overwhelming in its intensity and beauty. Ah, shit. He was way too far gone on this. All he wanted was to kiss those lips. As the kids would say, it was hella distracting.
"Don't worry about it, Hank. Though, I should be the one thanking you. But…" Connor paused, a frown marring his lips. "You don't have to keep on giving me your jacket. I have a modification that allows me to be immune to the cold. I don't feel it."
Well, fuck that. Hank snorted.
"Fuck that noise. Just because you may be 'immune to the cold,' or whatever the fuck, doesn't mean it doesn't affect you. Besides, I have more insulation than you do. I can take the cold."
Hank watched as Connor softly smiled, fiddling with that damn coin of his. Hank watched, enraptured, as he did his tricks absentmindedly. Shit, it was impressive. And distracting. On a whim, Hank's hand darted out and made to grab the coin, the movement too distracting. However, his reflexes were a little too late (at least that's what he'd go to the grave swearing), for instead of the coin, he caught Connor's slight hand in his rough one, coin pressed between their hands. The pair looked up into each other's eyes, both wide. Hank felt his heart pound. Ah. Shit.
"That, uh. That's impressive. But it. It uh, makes me dizzy. To watch."
A load of bullshit. It didn't make him dizzy. Connor's eyes did that, those brown masterpieces causing his head to swim. But he had to say something. Couldn't just say, "I really wanted to hold your hand, to feel those dexterous fingers against mine." Yeah. That'd go over well.
Still, Connor reflexively clenched his fingers, pressing against Hank's in such a delicious manner. God, what would those warm fingers feel like, wrapped around his di-
Oookay, abandoning that train of thought. But it still felt so nice, those soft digits pressed against his. Christ. He wanted to kiss the man in front of him. He'd never wanted anything so bad. (Well, that was a lie. He's pretty sure he'd give all of this up if it meant holding Cole again. But it was becoming harder to say that.)
For a minute they stared at one another, Connor's fingers pressed so nicely against his. Connor's hand wasn't a perfect fit, the slim appendage dwarfed by Hank's larger one, but they fit well together.
Eventually, Hank had to pull away. If he stayed any longer he'd lose all sense of time and place. And he had someone to meet. It was only 10:30, but he wanted to be prepared for their meeting. So he peeled away from Connor, mourning the loss.
"Anyway. I should get going. I'll uh, see you later. Bye."
No one ever said Hank wasn't awkward. Shoulders hunched, Hank forced his way out of the room, eyes straight ahead of him. It wasn't until he reached the dining hall that he realized he was still holding Connor's quarter, which he must have taken accidentally in his haste. He rubbed it thoughtfully, wondering if he'd ever be able to do some of those tricks. Probably not. Connor was just amazing at everything.
Putting the coin in his pocket, Hank got on line for the food. It was French toast today, which was a pleasant surprise. They didn't get unhealthy food often. It was a little cold, warm breakfast having ended a little while ago, but it was still good.
Hank ate his food carefully, savoring the bites. When Connor came down, a little while later, Hank hesitated when the kid looked over to him, question in his eyes. But just as Connor was about to look away, such bitter disappointment in his gaze, Hank gave in and waved the kid over. He couldn't help the blush that rose on his face when Connor grinned so brightly, eyes practically illuminated with how happy they were.
The pair didn't really speak during the meal, but Hank couldn't ignore the dozen times Connor would look up at him, smile his dazzling smile, then go back to his food. It was beyond distracting.
When the clock struck 11:00, breakfast long over, Hank stood and bid Connor goodbye, heading for the common room. He didn't have anything to do, really, but he found he couldn't stay with Connor any longer. The stare…
Hank had no idea what Connor's deal was. Why he kept staring. Why he seemed to care so much about what Hank did. Why he cared that Hank had allowed him to sit with him at breakfast. It made no sense. Yeah, he'd become infatuated with the kid. But why did the kid care so much back? Was it the fact that Hank had been the only person he'd been around after getting away from Cyber? But that wasn't true. He'd had Markus, Kara, Alice, and Rose. Even Luther. And it wasn't like Hank had been particularly kind the first couple days. Maybe it was proximity. The two spent a lot of time in closed quarters. Or maybe it was something else entirely.
Whatever the reason, it made his heart soar when Connor looked at him like that. Like he was something precious. Like he meant the world. He remembered his dream, those softly spoken words…
He wanted it, he knew, as he sat on the ugly green couch. He wanted to be everything to Connor. He wanted to hold the kid tight every night and never let him go. To wrap himself up in Connor and forget everything else. He wanted to kiss those lips, for real this time, not a mistake or a drunken fumbling. He wanted to map that body, hands trailing warm, supple flesh. He wanted… so much. So goddamn much. And the cruel irony of the world was that he'd never have it. Always see, never touch. But that was alright. As long as he had Connor in his life, he'd be fine.
But he could dream. And dream he would. It's all he could do. He knew he didn't deserve someone like Connor. Connor, who was young, beautiful. Who had his whole life ahead of him.
Who would probably forget about him once he got out, keen to start his life. To live.
Ah. Fuck. Hank took a deep breath to get rid of the deep, stabbing pain that hit his heart. He'd just hold the kid back. Dream all he'd like, Connor didn't need him. Connor didn't need or deserve a fucked up alcoholic screw up like him. He deserved someone who could help him expand. Who could love him unconditionally, who wasn't trapped in the past. He deserved the world.
Damn it. This was just bringing him down. Taking another deep breath, Hank stood and moved over to the baby grand in the corner, fingers gently caressing the keys. He still was awful at playing the thing, but he enjoyed it. It was soothing.
Ignoring the doubt in his mind, Hank began playing, the music halting but clear. He played a sad song he used to love as a child, the song reminding him of what it was like to be the child of two alcoholics, ignored and forgotten. Except when they'd needed something. He did his best to stop his fumbling fingers from ruining the song, hoping he did a good enough job. When he finished, he was surprised to hear someone clap, looking behind him to see Connor, smiling brightly at him. Fuck. Not the person he wanted to see right then. Was the kid fucking following him?
"That was beautiful, Hank," Connor spoke softly, eyes warm.
Nope. Nope. Fuck that. Hank could not deal with that look on him. Not then. Not while he felt like an old, creepy fucker. Not when his own inadequacy was hitting him over the head. He needed to get away from that look.
Standing stiffly, Hank rushed out of the room, ignoring Connor's concerned voice calling after him. It pained him to run from the kid, but he needed air. He needed to think.
Once outside, bitter cold biting his flesh, he found he could breathe again. Shit. That kid did such things to him…
Hank pushed all thoughts out of his head. It wasn't worth it to think of everything he couldn't ever have. He had important things to do.
He didn't know the time but he had a feeling it was close to noon. While waiting, he decided to wander the garden, dead as it was. It was still nice, white with the freshly fallen snow. Plus it helped give him something to focus on. Anything to focus on.
It was a few minutes later that he heard a sound to his left, causing his police instincts to kick in. He casually kept walking, the sound getting louder. Footsteps, but like someone was trying to muffle them. Figuring it was probably Starlight, but not wanting to take a risk, Hank quickly turned and faced the noise, fists clenched. He relaxed when he saw it was, indeed, just Starlight, hiding beneath a tree, glaring at him.
"You didn't say where to meet," they intoned, eyes accusing. Hank rolled his eyes.
"It's not like the garden is huge. After all, you did find me, yeah?"
Starlight scowled at him, but shuffled closer, eyes darting around the garden. It was so frigid out that no one dared be outside, leaving them alone in peace. That was one of the reasons he chose the garden to meet. It was rarely occupied during the winter. Only he was dumb enough to brave the cold. Starlight dragged him into the bushes, though, so that no one could see them at all.
"Whatever. Here. Take it," they stressed, forcing a small object into Hank's hand. Hank looked at it. It was a small, unassuming flash drive. But he knew what was on the inside. Barely able to contain the way his heart leapt, he grinned at the person in front of him.
"So this is it? The data package thing with the access key?"
Starlight crossed their arms, glaring further.
"Yes. But you have to be careful. My… my friend, they got caught, giving this to me. I, I don't know what will happen to them. I nearly got caught myself. I'm pretty sure they didn't find out what we had done, so the access key should still work, but it wasn't without costs. So please. End this. If this doesn't work… all of this will have been for nothing. And I swear, if this was a joke, or you don't mean this seriously…"
Hank glowered back at Starlight, putting their pissy little glare to shame. Yeah, he felt bad for them, but seriously. He was trying to help them.
"I mean it, kid. Don't worry. I can't promise it'll work, as it is risky. But it's worth a shot. I'm sorry about your friend. If you know their name, or any personal information about them, maybe once this is all over you can find them. If we win, that is."
Starlight stared at him, hard, then nodded sharply once.
"Fine. Tell whoever gets the code that they need to work fast. The code expires Friday at midnight, a new code issued after that for the next week. I added the location to the facility in the package, as well as any other information they might need. Tell them… tell them good luck. From all of us," Starlight said softly, looking down at the ground. Hank let out a noise of agreement.
"Yeah. Okay. Is there anything else or is this it?"
"No, I don't think so-"
Starlight cut off abruptly, their eyes widening as they looked at something behind Hank. Hank almost turned to look when Starlight's face turned murderous, eyes pinning Hank with fury.
"You motherfucker! This was a trap, wasn't it?!"
Starlight darted forward, clearly intent on grabbing the access key, but Hank had thirty years of police experience on his side. He easily side-stepped them and dodged as they tried again.
"Hey! Woah, easy! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Hank exclaimed, grabbing Starlight by their arms, pinning them in place. He hated doing it, not liking to use his larger frame against those physically weaker, but he had to stop them somehow. Still, Starlight struggled against him, teeth bared.
"You bastard! I trusted you!"
Okay. Obviously he was missing something. Unless Starlight might benefit from spending time in the facility themself.
"Hold up! What the hell are you talking about?! What is it you think I've done?"
Starlight glowered at him, before looking behind him, eyes intent on where Hank knew the facility to be. While they were hidden from the sight of the facility, deep in the bushes, they could still see the facility. Hank looked at Starlight warily.
"Okay, I'm going to let you go to look, but you have to promise not to claw my eyes out, okay?"
Starlight hesitated, eyes wary, but nodded tightly after a second. Hank carefully let them go, then turned to face the facility, wondering what had gotten them so upset.
He figured out immediately, eyes widening as he backed further into the bushes, dragging Starlight with him.
It was the fucking FEDS. What the fuck? Why were they there? Hank hissed as he saw men prowling the facility, barking orders at those inside. He couldn't hear anything, but he was sure it was a shit show.
At least now he understood why Starlight had freaked out. Probably thought the FEDs were with him. He looked down at them, their eyes still guarded but warming slightly.
"Shit, kid. They're not with me. I have no idea why they'd fucking in here. Unless…" Hank paused, thinking. It wasn't exactly uncommon knowledge that Markus worked around the facility. Perhaps… shit, perhaps they'd figured out who Markus was and tracked him here. Fucking hell. "Markus. The, uh, man who was on TV. He used to volunteer here. They probably tracked him to the facility. Shit. Fuck, kid, I'm sorry. Shit," Hank exclaimed softly, eyes glued to the window to the facility. Starlight let out a soft noise of annoyance, but luckily said nothing.
Hank didn't know what consequences Starlight would face if they were found here. He didn't know how far Cyber's reach went. If their influence was in the FBI. But he really didn't want to find out.
Luckily, Hank knew of a back exit out of the facility. It wasn't fun, but it beat being stopped by the FEDs.
See, the facility itself was a large, three story building surrounded by trees. There was a gate around the facility, designed not to keep the patients in (so they said), but to keep others out. Still, it had barbed wire on the top of it and cameras all around. The garden extended from the back of the facility to the fence, which wasn't that far back. Maybe ten, twenty yards. Needless to say, it was impossible to climb without being caught.
When Hank had first arrived at the facility, before Markus arrived, Hank had been bored out of his mind. The classes offered were pitiful and the people were dull. The most exciting thing that happened was one of the more intensive patients had briefly escaped their nurse's care, but had been found ten minutes later, sleeping in the laundry room. So, Hank did what he could to stay alert. He wandered the facility and found the weakest points. Not because he intended to escape (though he'd have loved to), but to know his surroundings.
He'd found the weak spot in the fence within the first month. It was a spot beneath a large tree, so it was hidden from the camera. On the ground had been loose soil, soft enough that Hank had been able to… well, dig a small hole. It was a tight fit (of course he'd tried it, but he'd immediately gone back in, okay?) but it would work well for Starlight. It was just that in order to get to it, you had to crawl under some rose bushes.
Oh, you hadn't always had to. But after Markus came, with his refurbishment, the path he'd taken had been blocked by some of the rose bushes. He could still get to the spot (yes, he'd checked. He just needed to keep his options open, alright? Jeez), but it wasn't fun. Even now, with the roses dead, the thorns would still prick them. But it would have to be done. He had brought Starlight into this mess. He'd be damned before he let them get hurt because of it.
Quickly and quietly, Hank told Starlight of the spot, telling them that it would get them out around the backside of the facility. They'd still be seen by the camera on the outside, but as long as they kept their hood up they'd be able to escape. The woods were dense enough that they would work well for cover, if needed. Starlight looked hesitant, but eventually nodded.
"Okay. I, I suppose. Shit," they muttered, looking at the window. It seemed the FEDs were looking out, making Hank think they wanted to go outside. Hank took a deep breath and looked down at Starlight.
"Hey, follow me. I'll bring you to the spot."
Moving carefully, Hank went further into the bushes, avoiding getting hit by low hanging branches. They weren't really close to the area, but they could hopefully get there without getting out in the open.
Hank made sure to keep an eye on the building at all times, hoping that the FEDs wouldn't come out just then. It took a minute, but they soon reached the rose bushes that blocked the fence. Hank turned to Starlight, indicating the bushes with his head.
"The hole is under there. You have to crawl under the bush and find a bunch of fake, green leaves on the ground. Brush them aside and you'll find the hole. Got it?"
Starlight nodded, then hesitated.
"I… thank you, Hank. I appreciate it."
The words were soft, but Hank could hear them just fine. He grunted, cheeks turning pink, nodding a little.
"Yeah, yeah. I got you in this mess. And don't be a stranger. You need anything, let me know. Can't promise I'll be able to help, but I sure as hell can try."
Starlight just smiled crookedly, nodding once. Then, they bent down and began crawling under the bushes. Hank did his best to move the bushes enough that it wouldn't get caught on their clothes, tiny thorns pricking his arms, but he could hear the soft grunts of pain they let out. Eventually, though, the grunts stopped and Hank knew they'd gone under the fence. A second later Hank saw them on the other side of the fence, looking back at Hank. They hesitated a moment, then spoke.
"Good luck, Hank. I really hope you make it."
With that, Starlight ran off, hood up over their face, dashing into the trees. Hank watched for a few minutes, long after they were out of sight, before heading back. Not like he could follow them. All he needed was back in the facility.
Taking care to brush off the leaves that had gotten on his hair and clothes, Hank carefully exited the trees, walking along the path to the sliding screen door that led inside. He could see the FEDs darting back and forth inside still, a few standing beside the sliding door. Hank raised an eyebrow at them as he approached, the flash drive he had stuck in his shoe for safe keeping digging into his heel.
"Afternoon, agents. How can I help you this fine day?" Hank drawled casually, smiling pleasantly when they approached him, hard looks on their faces.
"What were you doing out there?" One of them asked, entering Hank's personal space. Hank just shrugged casually, pleasant smile still on his lips.
"Walking. Didn't realize that was a crime, now," he commented lightly, though his eyes were hard on the officer. He'd never liked the FEDs, even as a cop. Hell, /especially/ as a cop. They were complete bastards, prancing around like they were better than everyone else. Thinking they owned the world. Pretentious bastards.
"Yeah, well, there's been an order to return to your rooms. The facility is on lock down while the FBI looks around. Head back to your room now or we'll be forced to escort you."
Fuckers. Hank didn't drop his pleasant smile, but inwardly he was cursing the fucker out six ways to Sunday. Asshole.
"Of course. Have a nice day, gentleman," Hank said, because he wasn't stupid. He walked passed them and walked the halls into the common room, figuring he might as well head back to his room to deposit his contraband. He had to stop dead as soon as he entered the common room, however, eyes widening at the sight that met him.
Rose was standing in the center of the room, glaring at an agent, a rat-faced man that had a face just begging to be punched. Dr. Allen was next to him, arms crossed, frowning at Rose.
"Honestly woman. Just tell him what he asked for. Don't make us force you," Allen stressed, eyes hard on Rose. Rose just puffed herself up, arms crossed. Hank could see Connor loitering somewhere to the right, Luther beside him. Luther was glaring at the agents, looking like he was ready to get into a fight if he had to. The man may be a gentle giant, but he still had a protective streak a mile wide. Connor just looked expressionless, resisting the officer who was trying to pull them away. Hank had no idea what was going on, but he surmised quickly it wasn't good.
"Shame on you, Dr. Allen. We trusted you, here. You were supposed to help these patients, not spy on them!"
Wait. What? Hank stared at the Doctor, wondering what Rose had meant. Spy? Wait… Hank remembered something, from back when he'd met the man, four months ago. He'd dismissed it at the time, but he could have sworn he'd recognized the man. It was impossible, but maybe…
Rose continued to glare, but Allen didn't really care. He just strode forward, getting up in her face.
"Tell us what we want to know, or this facility will be shut down and all these nut bags will be transferred to bumfuck nowhere. You understand me?" Allen growled, pushing Rose a little. Luther took a step forward at that, face thunderous, but he wasn't as quick as Hank.
Pleasant smile back on his face, Hank casually stepped between the two, forcefully pushing Allen forward while gently nudging Rose back.
"Hey there, Doctor. Something seem to be the problem?"
Hank kept his tone light, but his eyes were hard, leaving no questions as so what he was doing. Dr. Allen turned his glare to Hank.
"Leave it, Anderson. This doesn't affect you."
Hank just kept on smiling, even as his toes curled. What a fucker.
"Well, that's great. Why don't you leave the lady alone, huh? What's this about, anyway?"
He looked between Allen and the rat-faced man, who took a step forward.
"We just had a few questions to ask. This doesn't have to be so complicated. If Dr. Chapman would just comply, things would go easier. Okay?"
The FED had a beguiling look on his face, holding his hands up in a patronizing manner. God, what a fucker. Rose let out a soft noise of anger.
"You want me to betray my patient's confidentiality. Which, I'd like to remind you, is illegal," she stressed, glaring at the doctor.
"Well, good thing I'm not really a doctor, isn't it?" Allen sneered, pulling out a badge. Ah, fucking hell. A cop?
Hank stared long and hard at the man, eyes scrutinizing his face. It took him a second, but he finally placed where he'd seen it before.
"Well, if it isn't Captain fucking Allen. I thought you'd looked familiar," Hank growled, hands curled. Fucker had a reputation for working with the FEDs, taking long, intensive undercover cases, pretending to be all kinds of people. Hank had never met the man but had seen his picture once. Back when he'd still been a beat cop, actually. He supposed it made sense why the doctor never seemed to actually have any patients, at least. He just did intakes and group work. The captain just grinned, teeth sharp.
"In the flesh. Now, Rose. Don't make this harder than it has to be. Just tell us what you know about Markus's whereabouts and we'll be fine."
Rose shook her head again, emphatic, glare intensifying. Hank saw her son out of the corner of his eyes, being held back by one of the FEDs, eyes concerned.
"Just tell them, mom! Who cares about these freaks, anyway?"
Rose turned to her son, expression hard.
"Adam! They're people too! They might be different than us, but they have a right to privacy! I will not say a single word to anyone."
The rat-faced FED came forward then, placing a hand on Rose's shoulder. It was supposed to be soothing, but it was anything but. It made Hank tense, wanting to rip the man away from Rose. Hank may never have been the closest to Rose, but he liked her well enough. She was a good sort.
"Look. We just want to know where he is. He's not even your patient anymore. Just think about it, alright? Now, in the meantime, I'd like to talk to that one over there, if you don't mind?" The FED said, gesturing carelessly over to Connor. That made Hank stiffen, pleasant smile finally dropping off his face. Rose, he could maintain his cool over. But Connor? Hank moved between the bastard and Connor, glare intense.
"The fuck you want with him?" Hank bit out, hands in fists. The FED just raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed. They stared at one another for a second before Hank felt a soft hand touch his shoulder. Hank turned his head and saw Connor, his face as smooth as stone.
"Don't worry, Lieutenant. I'll be fine. Where would you like to talk, Special Agent Perkins?" Connor spoke pleasantly, face cut off. Hank's shoulders stiffened further, causing Connor to look at him. The blank look on the other's face melted for a second as he looked at Hank, a soft smile lighting his features.
"Don't worry, Hank. I have nothing to hide. I don't mind talking to him. I'll be fine," Connor said softly, eyes warm as they looked at Hank. Hank struggled against his mind but knew he couldn't stop him. Not without seeming suspicious. He didn't like it, especially with how the FED, Perkins, had looked at Connor. Like he was nothing. But it was Connor's choice.
Hank still wasn't sure what was going on, the whole thing a mess. Rose was still standing in the center of the room, wringing her hands as she looked with worry between Perkins and Connor. Luther stood tall in the corner, looming over the group, keeping watch. Intimidating. Various agents were scattered around the room, some nurses frowning as they looked between everything. All he knew was that he had to protect Connor. To keep Connor safe. It gutted him that he'd be unable to.
So he turned to face the kid and brushed the back of his hand gently against Connor's cheek, forcing his body to relax.
"Yeah," he muttered, head bent slightly to make the moment more private. "Okay. Stay safe, okay? Fuckers like that will do anything to get a rise out of you. Don't let him, yeah?"
Hank spoke softly, so no one else could hear. Connor just smiled and nodded so slightly that it went undetected by the others. Connor hesitated a second, then leaned up to kiss Hank's cheek softly. Hank's mind almost shorted out when those lips pressed against his rough cheek, but he forced himself to snap out of it when Connor's lips trailed up to his ear and the kid whispered something so soft that Hank almost missed it.
"Hide the laptop," Connor breathed, before moving back, smile in place. Hank's eyes were wide, but he nodded imperceptibly. Hank looked at the agent, who had a look on his face like he'd eaten something rotten. Fucker was homophobic, huh? Well, good. Fuck him.
"Alright. Come on, then. I don't have all day," Perkins groused, sneer on his face.
"Uh huh. Yeah. Nice to meet you, too. Have a nice day," Hank said with false cheer, pleasant smile tight on his lips. What a fucking prick. Hank watched as Connor followed after the man, movements stiff, like an android's. Hank hated seeing the kid so uncomfortable, but there wasn't much he could do.
With that, some of the tension in the room left, Rose looking more concerned than he'd ever seen her. Luther was also frowning, staring after Connor and Perkins, even after the two disappeared from sight. Well. At least he knew he wasn't the only one who cared about the kid. That was nice.
Finding no reason to stay in the common room any longer, Hank headed to the stairs, headed for his room. He had to put his flash drive in his hiding area, and then he could place the laptop where he kept his booze. There weren't many places to hide things in their small room, but he made do.
As he headed up, he noticed a bunch of FEDs looking around the place, knocking on doors. Hoping they hadn't reached his and Connor's room yet, Hank sped up. It didn't take long to reach the room, and luckily no one had seemed to have raided it. Unfortunately, the FEDs were literally right next door and would likely knock on their door soon. Shit.
Doing his best to look like he wasn't hurrying, he nodded politely at the agents and quickly headed into the room, closing the door behind him. He then made a beeline to Connor's bedside table, where he kept the laptop Markus had given him. It looked so unassuming, Hank thought, holding it in his hands. They made these things so fucking light nowadays. He still remembered the big chunky things that had come out when he'd been in his late twenties. He couldn't figure the things out then and couldn't figure them out now.
The laptop in hand, Hank moved to the bathroom, to the mirror. It took some effort, but he was able to wiggle the thing off, showing a thin area that he could place hidden things. As he was putting the laptop in the space, he heard a loud, insistent knock on the door, causing a spark of anxiety to rush through him. Jeez. He couldn't imagine how the more intensive patients were dealing with this when it was even making him nervous. And he was a fucking cop.
Not having time to put the flash drive away, Hank carefully placed the mirror back, taking his time. It wouldn't do to put the thing back shoddily and have them discover the spot.
"Hold your horses, I'm in the bathroom! Give me a second," he shouted to the agents. The knocking paused, giving him time to place the mirror back. He gave it a once over, moving it around a little to make sure it wouldn't move without a great deal of force. Once satisfied, he went over to the toilet and flushed it, turning the faucet on for ten seconds. Might as well sell his sort of lie.
Opening the door, Hank put his faux pleasant smile back on, feeling like he was a cop again. Having to play nice with the FEDs. Fuck he hated it.
"Afternoon, agents. What seems to be the problem?"
There were two agents standing outside his room, looking unimpressed with his attempt at small talk.
"We're looking through all the rooms in the facility for connections to the activist Markus Manfred. Would you mind letting us in?"
Hank's smile tightened, but he tried not to let his anger show.
"You have a warrant?" Hank asked, because he knew his rights. The FEDs produced a warrant for him to look at, of course, but Hank decided to waste their time by reading it carefully. After a moment, one of the agents spoke, voice annoyed.
"It's legitimate," he stressed, eyes hard. His partner, a thin-faced woman, just frowned at him.
"Oh, I'm sure it is. Just gotta make sure I know what it says, ya know? Used to be a cop, youngest Lieutenant to ever be on the DPD," Hank grinned, knowing these fuckers wouldn't care. FEDs thought themselves so much more special than cops. Like he expected, the FEDs just looked bored and annoyed. Good. They were inconveniencing him. Might as well inconvenience them.
After a minute, Hank finished looking over the document, which was indeed legit, and handed it back. He stepped back and did a grand sweep of the room.
"Welcome to my humble abode," he said sarcastically, smile sharp. "Please don't break anything."
The agents just gave him a disgruntled look and entered the room, searching the area thoroughly. Hank stood casually in the corner, arms crossed, doing his best to not seem suspicious. He'd done enough of these raids to know that any hint of resistance from a suspect would instantly make him search the place that much harder. While a lot of people were just nervous about having a cop show up, half the time resistance or nerves indicated a guilty party. Then again, people who were overly calm were also suspicious. So you needed a careful balance of calm and uncomfortable.
The raid took about ten minutes in full, Hank's heart pounding when they entered the bathroom. From his spot he couldn't really see in, so he had just waited with bated breath as they searched the room, letting it out when they exited a couple minutes later, finding nothing of interest there. So they hadn't found either of his hiding places. Good.
Soon after the agents had left the room, off to harass other mentally ill patients. Assholes. I mean, Hank got it. They were just doing their job, and Markus kind of did break the law by breaking into the Stratford tower, and a bunch of cops did die when that security guard shot at them. But still. It made things harder for Hank. Which… was probably the point. Shit.
Abandoning that train of thought, Hank took a seat on his bed and carefully took the flash drive out of his shoe. It was such an unassuming thing to hold such precious and important information on it… Hank almost couldn't believe such a small thing could possibly solve their problems. The wonders of technology, huh?
He got off the bed and went back to the bathroom, prying open the tile that hid his smaller valuables. It mostly held a folded picture of Cole and his old wedding band. He'd told Connor about the space in case the kid had anything he needed to hide. Connor had declined but had said he appreciated the thought.
Taking the tile out, Hank was surprised to see a small black… /thing/ on top of the folded picture of Cole. Picking it up, Hank turned it over in his hands, trying to place what it was. It looked like… what are they called, ear phones? Hearing buds? But there was only one of them.
Ah, he realized, looking at it closer. This must be the thing Connor used to contact Markus. Hank briefly thought about using it to contact Markus himself, but reasoned he'd probably mess it up. He barely knew how to use his old Android, let alone such a tiny thing like the ear… thingy. So he placed it back down and put his flash drive inside. Hank hesitated for a second, then took out the old folded photo, looking at the face of his too young son.
God he missed him. Things were so fucked up now. Conspiracies and corrupt FBI agents. Super humans who were being brained washed. Things had been so simple, three years prior, the only challenges being Hank trying to figure out how to raise a child while being a cop, and while being old and tired. He ached to go back to those days, when Cole was the only thing that mattered. When he wasn't knee deep in conspiracies.
But… but, if he did go back to those days, he'd never have met Connor. And while Cole would always rank higher than Connor in his heart, because Cole was his little boy, he didn't regret meeting Connor. He had a feeling it was safe to say he loved the kid. Maybe not as strong as it could become, but there was love there. He loved Connor. Shit.
Hank ran a hand through his hair, the long strands smooth on his fingers. He consciously didn't seek out his scar, just letting his hand run through the silver locks. He remembered the first time he'd gotten a gray hair, after Cole had been born. He'd been so distressed. Now he didn't give a fuck. Who cared? With a sign, he placed the photo back, returning the tile to its original space. He then moved out of the bathroom and over to the bed, sitting down, staring at the wall.
After several minutes of staring, his mind going over everything that had happened over the past week and a half, he heard the door creak open, causing him to jump up and turn to face the intruder. His heart clenched when he saw Connor, looking so small and fragile in the doorway. Hank couldn't put his finger on what, but something in Connor just looked put upon.
Connor looked up at him, eyes wide and sad. Hank couldn't help the way his body moved around the bed, legs moving without conscious thought, heading over to Connor. He reached the kid in less than a second and pulled him into a hug, arms wrapping around the kid tightly. He felt thin arms wrap tightly around him in return, a face hiding itself into his neck, warm breath fanning over him. Ignoring the way his body tingled at the sensation, Hank just held on tight, pulling them back only so he could close the door.
The pair stood like that for several minutes before Connor reluctantly pulled away, eyes tired and oh so sad. Hank hated the look. It wasn't right for Connor to look so worn down.
Hank gently directed the kid over to his bed, guiding the kid to take a seat. He knelt in front of him, looking him in the eye.
"Hey. What happened?" He asked softly, hand reaching up to grab Connor's. Connor just looked down to the ground, hand clenched tight.
"He. He wanted to know Markus's location. He didn't believe me when I said I didn't know. Claimed he knew I was working with them. Then he…" Connor paused, taking a shaky breath. He looked up at Hank, eyes shiny with unshed tears. "He said that he would make things hard for Amanda if I didn't comply. If I didn't tell him the truth. He said that she was ashamed of me, that I was a disappointment. I, I still refused to say anything, but… I don't know. I wish this wasn't so hard. I had thought… I had /hoped/ that this would be enough. That things would be better now. But it's not. It's actually harder. In so many ways."
Connor looked down at that, eyes closing tight.
"He, he threatened you, too, Hank. Said he'd transfer you to a mental facility down south, where they would 'cure' you of your attraction to men. He also said he would make sure you'd never leave there, never be allowed visitors… I, I almost gave in, then. But I… Hank I'm sorry, but I couldn't!" Connor exclaimed, eyes opening, looking back at Hank. The shine in them had increased, and Hank was sure he'd lose it if Connor started to cry. So he lifted a hand and caressed Connor's cheek, like he would to Cole when he'd cry. He shushed the kid, shifting so he could look him straight in the eyes.
"Hey, don't you worry about me, kid. I have connections that would protect me. That bastard may be FBI, but I was a Lieutenant of the DPD. He can't threaten me, okay? And as for Amanda, I'm sure she can protect herself. This is bigger than either of us, though. I can't say I'm 100 percent sure on what Cyber is, or what they do, but from what I can gather they're pretty bad. And they have you under their thumb. If this gets them to face justice… well, then fuck everything else. Do what you think is right, kid. Not what is easy."
Hank watched as Connor's face screwed up, and for a second he thought he'd fucked up and made the kid cry. But a second later Connor let out a soft, if wet, laugh, looking at Hank with shining eyes.
"I… yes. You're right. I'm just… scared," Connor whispered, like it was a horrible secret. Hank caressed his cheek, thumb rubbing a soothing circle.
"Understandable. This shit is fucking terrifying. But things can't get better if they don't get a little worse first," Hank stated, relaying a fact that had gotten him through a lot in his life. Connor considered that, before nodding.
"Yes. I, I suppose. Thank you, Hank. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Connor smiled at him then, his hand reaching up to grab the one Hank had on his cheek. Hank's heart sped up, but he did his best to smile back.
"Y-yeah. Yeah." Hank coughed, trying to get his throat to unstick. "Anyway, I have news. You remember this morning, with the phone call?"
Connor nodded carefully, letting Hank's hand go. Hank let his own hand fall, though part of him mourned the loss of contact. He didn't know if now was the right time to tell Connor about the flash drive, but he figured if not then, then when? And maybe it would cheer the kid up, having a goal to work on.
"Well, it panned out," Hank continued, standing and moving over to the bathroom. He nodded over at Connor to follow him, which the kid did. He headed for the tile he'd just put back and took it out, carefully extracting the flash drive. He held it out to Connor, who looked confused.
"Hank, what is this?"
Hank grinned in response, placing the tile back.
"That, my dear Connor, is a flash drive containing the access key to Cyber's messaging system. After what happened on Friday I made a few calls, asking around for information on the company. An old friend, Jimmy, pointed me in the direction of a person named Starlight. I met them on Sunday, after we spent the afternoon with Alice and Sumo, and they said they used to work for Cyber, sending messages out to the various models, or whatever. I asked if a person could send messages out en masse, and apparently, you can. But you need an access key. Which, I just so happen to now have," Hank finished, grin on his face. The grin slipped off when he saw the wide-eyed look on Connor's face, the kid's face pure white, looking almost terrified. "Shit. Kid, what's wrong? Is that not good? I don't-"
Hank was cut off when he felt arms wrap around his shoulders, a warm body pressing up against his own. It took his mind a second to comprehend the contact, but when it did he wrapped his arms back around Connor, hugging the kid for the second time that day. This one was nicer, though. To Hank, at least.
It didn't last long, though, Connor pulling back a moment later, eyes still wide but the color returning to his cheeks. The pair still had their arms wrapped loosely around each other.
"How did you get this? Does anyone know you have it?" Connor demanded, a touch of fear entering his wide brown eyes. Hank shook his head, raising a hand to push a strand of hair that had fallen into Connor's eyes away.
"No, I don't think so. And Starlight, my contact, they brought it. They said their friend who had given it had been caught but they still were able to escape with the key. No one has seen me with it."
The words calmed the worry in Connor's eyes, his body relaxing beneath Hank's hands, head falling to rest against Hank's shoulder. He heard a soft laugh escape the kid, the hands on his shoulders pressing tighter. Connor lifted his head and looked back at Hank with a wide grin on his face, eyes illuminated. Hank had to catch his breath, the expression causing such wicked feelings to arise in him.
"This… Hank, this will fix /everything/. If we can get into the warehouse and send a message to every person Cyber has modified… we would have so much proof that they'd never be able to deny their existence. And everyone like me, everyone who was forced to get these modifications, told it was the only way, the right way…" Connor trailed off, eyes bright as he looked at Hank.
"/Hank,/ thank you. I, I can't, I can't explain what this means. To me. To us, to all of us. I knew you were important. I knew it," Connor breathed, looking at Hank like he had done something amazing. Like he was amazing.
Fucking. Shit. Had the room lost all the air or was it just him? Because suddenly he was having a hard time breathing. And his chest hurt. Not a good hurt, either. It was painful. This had been what he had wanted. To be useful. To have value. So why did he hurt so much?
Hank let go of Connor and felt himself stumble back, only stopping when his legs hit the edge of the toilet, forcing him to sit awkwardly. He tried his hardest to breathe, putting his head between his knees. He heard Connor call to him, worry clear in his voice, but he couldn't find it in him to respond.
Why was he so upset at this? Hadn't he wanted Connor to look at him like that, like he mattered? Wasn't that why he'd done all of this? But… but it just hurt.
He didn't deserve it, a small voice whispered in his ear. He hadn't done anything. Starlight had done all the work. All Hank had done was call them, ask impossible requests of them. Hank had done nothing. He deserved /nothing/. He was nothing.
Hank gasped at the thought, back going rigid. He started when he felt a hesitant hand touch his shoulder, causing his head to shoot up, eyes meeting concerned brown ones. Connor was kneeling on the floor in front of him, a reversal of their earlier position, Connor the strong one now. God. How pathetic. Taking strength from someone who'd gone through so much. Fucking asshole. Hank was such an asshole.
"Hank, I… I'm sorry if I said something that hurt you. I, I really didn't mean to," Connor stammered, eyes earnest. It gutted Hank that the kid thought it was his fault. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he tried to smile. It came out more like a grimace, but it made Connor relax a little.
"Hey, this, this ain't your fault kid. It's me. My fucking, my worthless brain telling me stupid shit. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Just, give me a minute, okay?"
Connor nodded carefully, standing and giving Hank a little space.
Okay. What was the thing that Rose had told him to do? That CBT bullshit? How did it go again?
Something like…
Negative thought/belief: I'm a fucking pathetic waste of space.
Where/when: bathroom, after Connor looked at me like I mattered.
How does it make me feel?: Like I don't deserve anything. Like I'm destined to die alone and miserable.
Alternative thought…
Well, that was a good question. Hank thought about it, feeling his breathing return to normal as he thought on it. He looked up at Connor, who was looking at him with such concern. Who looked like he cared so much.
Alternative thought: Connor cares about me and finds worth in me. It may take time, but maybe one day I'll care too. Maybe I'll find worth in myself.
How does this thought make me feel?: hopeful. Like one day I might not feel like this anymore.
Okay. Okay. That was something. Taking one last deep breath, Hank gave Connor another smile, this one much more genuine. Connor smiled back, hesitant yet beautiful.
"I'm sorry, kid. I just needed a second. Anyway, do you have a way to contact Markus?" Hank questioned, standing and moving over to the window. He couldn't be so close to Connor, still feeling a little raw. It would be better to detach a little, focus on work. Connor seemed to understand Hank's motives, for he stayed back in the doorway to the bathroom, nodding once. He still looked concerned, but he mercifully didn't bring it up.
"I might. It might not work, but I'll try."
Alright. So that was something. They had a plan. It wasn't much but it was something.
"Great. Starlight said that only an advanced model could understand the access key, let alone enter the warehouse. I don't know what the fuck that means, but I'm hoping you do?"
Connor nodded thoughtfully, looking down at the flash drive still in his hand.
"Yes, I do. So does Markus, I believe. This will do so much good, Hank. I promise you."
Connor smiled at Hank again, and this time it didn't hurt. This time it felt… pretty fucking good, if he was being honest.
"Good. Good. So, you should put that back behind the tile. While the FBI is here it's not safe to keep it out. Contact Markus and you guys can figure out who can bring it to the warehouse," Hank said, figuring it was a good course of action. "Oh, and it has to be done soon. The access key becomes worthless after Friday at midnight."
Connor nodded in reply, saying nothing as he headed to the bathroom to presumably place the flash drive back. When Connor didn't return in a minute, Hank got curious and headed to the bathroom. He found Connor standing in front of the open hole, holding a small piece of paper in his hand. After a second he realized what he was holding. It was Cole's photo.
Connor looked up with startled eyes, hurriedly putting the photo down. Guilt crept onto his face.
"Hank! I, I'm sorry. I hadn't-"
Hank cut Connor off before he could finish, shaking his head. Maybe a week ago he'd have been angry. But now? Now he didn't care. In fact, part of him was glad Connor saw the picture. That Connor could share in that part of his life.
"Don't worry, kid. It's fine. That, uh. That's my son. Cole," he said, voice a little stiff. Connor stared at him, then looked away to put the flash drive back, ears turning red.
"Oh," Connor whispered after the tile was placed back. A moment of silence passed between them, before Hank let out a loud sigh, the tension too much for him to take.
"Jesus, it's fine kid. Don't worry about it. Now come on, we have to find a way to pass the time while the FEDs finish their work. Know any games?"
After that, the pair moved to the bed, playing a bunch of nonsense games to pass the hours before they got a knock on the door saying the FBI had left for the day. They played childhood games like 20 questions and I spy. It was stupid, but Connor made it seem like fun, the kid very competitive, it seemed. It was cute, seeing how invested he got in stupid little games.
Things weren't perfect. In fact, things were pretty tense. While the FBI had finished their raid, there were still a few agents posted around the facility, in case Markus came back. And Hank would bet anything that Perkins, that rat bastard, would be back.
But they had hope. The world had been informed about Cyber. If Connor was able to contact Markus and found someone who was able to use the access key, they would have a ton of leverage against Cyber. While it may not have been his fight at first, Hank would willingly die for this cause.
He just hoped he wouldn't have to.