Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters; that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.

Author's Notes: So this is another story that gave me a lot of problems. A major roadblock with blaring sirens and flashing lights on this one. I swear I was so damned frustrated. Finally, I took that advice again and went back to reread things. I read through 2 or Leoslady4ever stories, 1 or LittlePrincessNana and 1 of GemNika. And it was in GemNika's Poison Fairy that gave me the idea for this one. Using a bastard that just needs to be wiped from the Fairy Tail storyline.

(Definition: So lacking in originality as to be obvious and boring.)

Lahar's P.O.V.

Lahar stood there watching silently as he watched his wife do her best to stay polite as she spoke to the short man before her. Hands placed protectively over her now noticeable bump that was her stomach. Already 6 months pregnant and showing. Seeing the smile on her face, Lahar started to move towards her. Only to stop at the hand suddenly grasping his elbow.

Glancing back to see who was holding him back, Lahar frowned. There was his cousin, Princess Hisui, and his father in law, Jude Heartfilia. Both looking amused as they stared past him at his wife. Silently watching the scene as it played out. Looking back he saw Lucy now had a barely there tic under on eyes. Something he knew from personal experience wasn't a good thing.

"Let's get closer to listen in, but don't interfere just yet. That man is Duke Sawarr Junelle."

Languidly Lahar glanced over his shoulder at Jude. His mind sifting through the nobles he knew. When he finally recalled why that name was familiar. This pudgy little man had once been promised the right to marry his wife, back when Jude was not on good terms with Lucy. Trying to force her into a marriage for his own personal gains. Narrowing his eyes as he saw the grin on Hisui's face, making him feel ill to his stomach. Slowly they approached, stopping just within hearing range.

"Now, now Lucy. Don't get me wrong. You are still a very beautiful woman. I was just wondering why you would... let … yourself go. Does whoever you married... stress you out so bad, that you would let your body suffer for it? Maybe not give you enough exercise, no matter how boring it should be. If so my offer is always open to you."

Narrowing his eyes even further till they were nothing more than dangerous slits. Anger welling up in his gut at the implications this man was throwing out while soliciting his wife. His attention was drawn back to the duo before him when a soft trilling laugh reached his ears. Causing a shiver to run down his spine at that sound. Again knowing it wasn't a good thing for the man before her.

"Duke Sawarr Junelle, I can assure you that that particular aspect of my newly married life is anything but boring. So, I'll have no need to debase myself to copulate with you on any level."

The smile of pride curved Lahars lips at her come back. On top of the confused tilt of the Duke's head as he seemed lost at what she was telling him. Cluing him in on the fact the man wasn't really that bright, probably from not being made to study as a young man. Though the telling red on the back of the man's neck stating he at least knew he was being insulted.

"Well, I highly doubt he will be able to keep a person of your reputation and appetites interested for long Lady Heartfilia. Besides, it behooves me how a noble of such low birth could be allowed to attach himself to you and get an invitation to this party. Considering it has to do with the Royal Family making a royal announcement."

The soft feminine gasp and a deep masculine chuckle from behind him, let Lahar know what Jude and Hisui thought. Since the Duke just indirectly insulted himself and his cousin, the Princess of Fiore and her father. But what kept his attention was the hardened look in his wife's eyes as she gave a wide toothy grin as she looked at him and those behind him. A low chuckle coming from him.

"Yes, a minor noble indeed. He was one lucky man to get me. I guess I should introduce you to him and his family. And right now would be a perfect time, Duke Jenelle."

Taking that as his cue, Lahar walked forward, seeing in his peripheral's Jude and Hisui moved with him. All the while catching the muttering of the pudgy little Duke. Whom he felt nothing but disgust. But still, he kept a smile on his face as he was trained to do all his life. Giving a small cough to announce himself as he walked around the man speaking.

"Well, I am so sorry that I'm a low ranking Noble. But I assure you on a previously made comment, and as my lovely wife stated, our private life is anything but banal."

The words slipping from his mouth with ease from his lips as he stopped and turned to face the Duke, wrapping his arm around Lucy's waist both protectively and possessively. All the while the other two flanked the insipid and now very horrified Duke as he realized who Lahar was. Again his wife's soft trilling laughter mixed with his cousins, made Lahar smile amused.

"Now Lahar, be nice. I mean the Duke was out of the country when you two tied the knot last August. So, he was unable to attend your wedding. And the poor Duke cannot help his quirks. Also, remember not everyone is as well read and speak as you are, dear cousin."

Raising his eyebrows at Hisui's words, biting back a laugh. Keeping his eyes trained on the now sweating man beside him. Only to squeeze Lucy when she started to giggle when Hisui continued to speak. "So easy speak. Since he is so lacking in creativity in his insults and his lewd propositions to married women. Since I am a relative of you and a Lowly Noble, making me one and father as well."

Seeing the man go first pale, then looking to his wife, Lahar saw that the look on her face. Reminisce of a cat who caught the canary. He so loved her as he looked back to the Duke who looked on the verge of tears as he apologized to Hisui and took off. Finally getting the hint, (he hoped) got the hint with his tiny little brain that he should leave Lucy alone.

~~ The End! ~~

Authors Note 2: GemNika, this chapter is all a for you. Thank you for the babysitting scene from Poison Fairy (Damned good read people) because it finally gave me that little push that I needed to write for this word. Though I will say it was fun making a complete ass outta that pudgy little bastard. I felt so vindicated.