Severus looked down at his sleeping wife the following morning. He couldn't suppress the smile that slowly curled his lips. She was up to something, he had heard her get up in the middle of the night to ensconce herself in her office. Merlin only knew what it could be, she would latch on to the most ludicrous fancies at times. He knew it wouldn't be problematic for him, but if she took up some unwinnable cause it might greatly upset her. Although come to think of it, she had never really championed anything that didn't work out in the end. With the exception of that horrid S.P.E.W. The faculty members, other than himself and Minerva, had found S.P.E.W. highly amusing. Minerva had felt terrible for her because she knew it wouldn't change but she also knew it wasn't right. Severus had felt indifferent at the time, what did he care if the little know-it-all pursued some deadend cause?! It reduced her, Potter, and Weasley's likelihood of getting into real trouble.
Severus pulled himself from his reflections. He needed to get ready for his day, he was hoping for some exciting news from his weekly Saturday appointment. He carefully climbed from the bed, attempting to keep the jostling to a minimum. He glanced back at the still snoozing woman in the bed, making sure she hadn't stirred. They had a king size bed, which was really quite essential given his wife's propensity to sprawl across as much space as possible when she slept. They had two large quilts they alternated on the bed, one in deep red and the other in dark green. The quilts had been a wedding gift from Molly Weasley, it was heartwarming to know the Weasley matron had put so much time, thought, and care into their gift. There were bedside tables on either side of the bed, each with a lamp and small stack of books they were individually pursuing. The floors were wooden with a few rugs scattered about, they had tried deliberately placing them but Anakin seemed to view it as his mission in life to push them around and bunch them up around furniture. He padded to the bathroom in a pair of dark blue pajama pants and went about his morning hygiene routine.
He went to the closet and pulled out his attire. His disposition might have mellowed a bit but he still preferred his sweeping black robes and dragon skin boots. He dressed, leaving his boots off for the moment. He silently walked back to their bed and leaned over his wife. He placed a gentle kiss on her temple, or at least its general neighborhood given the state of her tousled hair. "Have a good day, love you." Severus whispered into her hair before straightening up. He strode back to his closet, picked up his boots, and left the room.
He walked into their kitchen and fixed himself a bit of toast and a cup of tea. He placed a stasis charm on the remaining tea in the pot for Hermione once she woke for the day. He turned to take his breakfast to their breakfast nook when he felt something small and furry wind itself around his ankles. He looked down and was greeted by large yellow eyes from a tiny black, fur-covered face. Anakin promptly meowed his hunger-filled morning meow directly up at Severus, who immediately shushed him.
"Alright! Anakin, I'll feed you but do be quiet! I would hate to wake up your Mum before she had slept an amount she deems appropriate." Severus whispered, stepped over to the table and set his meal down. He turned back to their furry menace and reached into the cabinet for the cat food. He scooped out a bit into the cat bowl on the floor at the end of the counter.
"She really is quite horrid when she hasn't slept enough." Severus stated to a cat who was no longer interested in his attentions now that he had been fed. Severus smirked and walked back over to his breakfast. He sat down and took a bite of his toast. He chewed thoughtfully while looking around their kitchen. It was nothing fancy, all white walls with dark gray cabinets and drawers. The appliances were stainless steel. The countertops were an off white as were the tiles that made up the floor, which Severus detested but Hermione had insisted. The island in the center held a bowl of decorative balls. Something that had puzzled him but Hermione had assured him was quite common place.
Severus sighed and popped the last bite of toast into his mouth. He finished it off along with the rest of his tea. He wandlessly sent his dishes to the sink and leant down to put on his boots. Once those were properly done up, he walked into their living room. It was a cozy room, thick dark blue carpet softened the tread of his boots. There was a grey sofa and two matching arm chairs aimed at the fireplace. Above the fireplace was a television, although they rarely used it. The walls were dark wood and covered in bookshelves that were filled to bursting with their combined collection. There was also a ceiling fan directly over the sitting area, he had never seen one prior to Hermione requesting he install one. He paused for a second, he was a bit nervous this morning. This was the day he had been looking forward to for years at this point. He had started these appointments when his relationship with Hermione had gotten serious. Knowing she wanted children, and fearing his own shortcomings as a potential father, Severus Snape had secretly been in therapy for his childhood trauma for five years.
Severus gathered his nerve, plunged his hand into their Floo powder pot, and pulled out the required pinch to travel. He wandlessly cast a muffliato around the fireplace. This was it, today was the tentative date they set for him to review with his therapist his psychological preparedness for fatherhood. He stepped into the fire, tossed the powder, and stated clearly "The office of Counselor Weasley." Green flames shot up and he vanished.
Luna Weasley was sitting behind her desk in her office in Diagon Alley. Most of her clients came in during the week but she had one who came exclusively on Saturdays and via Floo. It was a small office actually housed in the building adjacent to Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes. They had purchased it for extra storage and let her set up her office there on the ground floor without rent since she was family and the magical world desperately needed more mental health resources after the war. The walls were a calming shade of green and her furniture was light blue. Her desk was modern looking in metal and grey. She tried not to have any clutter on it as that could make anxious clients feel even worse and many of her clients suffered from anxiety. Because this was a long standing appointment, she was dressed casually in jeans and a yellow button down shirt, untucked. Her hair was pulled back but wisps of it had escaped to stick out around her head.
Luna looked up from her desk as green flames sprang up in her fireplace. A moment later, Snape stepped out and onto the rug she had in front of it. She had readily agreed to this Saturday morning arrangement years ago, before she had even started dating Ron. She had understood her client's desire to keep it a secret even if she didn't agree with him doing so.
"Good morning, Severus." She said softly. He wiped his boots on her rug before stepping off of it.
"Good morning, Luna." He answered. It had taken over a year of their therapist-patient relationship to get him to call her by her first name. Luna had been surprised he relented that quickly. She stood up and walked over to one of the wingback chairs in front of the fireplace and Severus sat in the other. Luna opened the folder in her lap and looked down at the top sheet of paper.
"So, today is the day we set three years ago to determine if you are emotionally and psychologically in place to start a family. How are you feeling?" She asked, looking up at him.
"Well, excited, nervous, and just a touch scared. Mostly excited though, I think I might actually be exactly where we hoped I would be at this time." Snape said, clasping his hands firmly in his lap. Luna recognized that as the equivalent of fidgeting for Severus, he still felt the need for control and allowing himself to fidget with his hands during the war would have signed his death warrant. Luna didn't focus on this habit, it was relatively harmless and they had bigger battles to fight for Severus.
"That all sounds perfectly reasonably, tell me about this little bit of fear you're experiencing this morning." Luna asked, watching his face carefully. Severus glanced at her eyes and then refocused his gaze to just over her shoulder. He thought for a moment before speaking.
"I think I'm a bit scared because I know how much Hermione wants children and I am scared that I won't be ready in time for her. I worry that she will grow impatient with me, I've been joking with her that I wouldn't want to curse another person with my face." Severus said.
"Tell me, do you still feel like you are so ugly that it would be a curse for someone else to look like you?" Luna asked, pulling a pen from her pocket to make notes in the file in front of her. Severus smirked before answering.
"No, I used to think I was very ugly and could barely stand to look in the mirror. Now I realize that I simply hated myself because of the abuse from my father. He would call me ugly along with many other colorful things." Severus stated, he then paused to reflect a bit more before continuing. "Of course my classmates piled on to that but the real bulk of the self-loathing came from my father. I think because I looked like him and I think he hated himself, it would certainly explain a lot of his behavior. I don't hate myself any more. I don't think I'm most people's definition of handsome but I'm not ugly."
Luna wrote down a few notes before looking back up at Snape. She thought for a moment before asking another question. "Do you no longer think that you would continue the cycle of abuse with any potential children you and Hermione may have?"
Severus immediately answered. "I worry that I might not be the father Hermione or our children may need or want. But I don't worry about being abusive, I have been married to Hermione for almost four years now. Not once have I felt the urge to act remotely like my father. And our cat hasn't brought out any of these impulses either."
Luna grinned at him and said. "I knew the cat was a step in the right direction. Nurturing a pet can be similar to having a child."
Severus smirked and said "Yes and I appreciate you planting the idea in Hermione's head. I didn't have the first clue of how to bring it up when you gave me that bit of homework."
Luna chuckled softly and said "Well it was quite easy really. She is an open book and very suggestible. She latches on to ideas and really runs with them, as you know."
Severus huffed. "That's an understatement."
"So here is my professional opinion, I think you are ready to start trying for children. I know you feel that your ability to be a parent might be inadequate but that is a perfectly natural feeling that many men and women experience. If those feelings escalate or you find yourself experiencing relapses into self hatred, I'll be right here. I don't think you need to continue these sessions but I will keep a few hours here at the office every Saturday. If you need me please do not hesitate to visit." Luna said warmly.
Severus looked thunderstruck for a moment then his face split into a large grin. Luna could not help but smile back at him. Such a full smile from Severus Snape was so rare, it was incredibly contagious.
"Now, how do you plan on telling Hermione that you have been in therapy nearly every Saturday for the past five years and you never told her?" Luna asked, with one cocked eyebrow.
"Very carefully, I think our anniversary would be the best time to tell her. I already intended to plan something special for her but this is added incentive, maybe she won't hex me too harshly if it goes well." Severus said while rubbing the back of his neck, looking contemplative. I will definitely pay for it but I doubt I'll receive a hexing, he thought. Luna looked amused.
"That is rather optimistic of you. Really I think it is good timing that you are finally ready, I do believe Hermione was getting desperate." Luna said airily. Severus suddenly looked worried.
"What do you mean 'desperate?' Was she going to leave me? Everything had seemed fine…" Severus said before Luna cut in.
"No, no nothing like that. She and Ginny have come up with a rather mad plan to try to convince you that you're not ugly. She seems to be under the impression that if you stop thinking that, you will be more willing to have children." said the Ravenclaw, before she winked conspiratorially at the Slytherin next to her and continued "What can we expect from two Gryffindors? They are so close to knowing what the actual problem is but instead they take everything at surface value, leap to a conclusion, and then run with what they think is the obvious solution."
Severus smirked before saying "Yes, that does sound rather like them. Although, I had thought Hermione was a bit beyond that at this point. I think you're right, she is desperate. Will you let me in on their plans? I am very curious as what they think would accomplish this massive change."
Luna grinned at him and said "Oh no, that will take the fun out of this for me. Initially, I felt guilty for using my friendship with Hermione to aid in your therapy but I realized this is helping her too. So I'm providing therapy for two people at the cost of one. The least I can get out of this is some entertainment. Besides, their plans are rather harmless."
Severus snorted and raised an eyebrow at Luna. "Did you have a hand in these plans?" He asked.
Luna raised both eyebrows and said "I may have put Hermione on the right track to find what she was looking for, nothing more than that. Ginny had initially told her to simply hex you. This was the back-up plan. I think the pregnancy has affected Ginny's reasoning ability, she is usually quite sharp."
Severus chuckled and said jokingly "Yes, most of the Weasleys are rather bright. Even your husband has his moments."
Luna laughed and closed her file. She stood and Severus followed suit. Luna held out her hand and Severus shook it.
"Remember, I am only a Floo away if you need anything. I want you to know I am very proud of how much progress you have made over the course of the years we have been meeting. It hasn't been easy for you I know but you have really stuck it out." Luna said beaming at him. Severus felt slightly embarrassed, he hadn't anticipated such praise. He cleared his throat and replied, his cheeks slightly red.
"Thank you, I would have never made it this far without your help. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."
Luna suddenly looked rather slyly up at him before saying "Rumor has it you have developed a new vibrating potion with a rather interesting application that you are going to patent soon. Would it be possible for you to send me some?"
Severus' eyebrows flew up to his hairline, a look Luna knew to be Severus for flabbergasted. "And just how would you know about that? Does my wife discuss our bedroom habits or merely my private business endeavors with all and sundry?"
Luna didn't change her facial expression as she said "Neither, it was girl talk between myself, Ginny, and Hermione. We all compare notes on our husbands, where do you think she learns new techniques if not from us?"
Severus thought for a moment and said "I always assumed she researched them from a book or the internet."
Luna laughed and said "Yes, that would be the obvious explanation for her, wouldn't it? Anyway, can I get some of that potion or not?"
Severus sighed and rubbed his forehead, he really couldn't be mad at Hermione for this, he thought, he had been seeing one of her best friends as his therapist for years without telling her. "Fine, I will send some by owl later today."
Hermione woke up to a furry paw batting at her face. She pushed Anakin off of her and sat up briefly disoriented. Anakin meowed at her as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She looked at their cat, mildly annoyed. "Now really, I know you were fed this morning. Severus always feeds you before his mystery Saturday meeting." Hermione said grumpily. She threw off the red quilt and walked sleepily into the bathroom.
She came back out and pulled on a bathrobe while stepping into slippers, then ambled down the hall and into the kitchen for some breakfast. She found the still hot tea waiting for her and mentally thanked her husband for his thoughtfulness. Hermione poured a bowl of cereal and milk, then wandlessly sent her breakfast to the table and turned to find some sort of fruit to go with it. While she was facing away from the doorway, Severus quietly snuck up behind her. He was about to wrap his arms around her when she turned around holding an apple.
Hermione screamed and flailed her arms, throwing her apple across the room and frightening Anakin. The poor cat ran into the wall in his haste to get out of the kitchen, he sprang up and successfully made it out the door on his second attempt. Meanwhile, Severus did wrap his arms around his very startled wife. She slapped his chest once she had calmed for a second.
"Damnit, Severus! You scared me half to death! Why did you sneak up on me like that?!" Hermione exclaimed. Severus grinned down at her and kissed her on the nose.
"I was hoping to be a pleasant surprise and not a frightening one. My apologies, I suppose I should extend an apology to Anakin as well." Severus chuckled, remembering the poor thing running into the wall. Hermione fought it but couldn't help the laugh that burst forth at the mention of their cat.
"Yes I suppose you do, poor dear's heart is probably pounding out of his little chest." Hermione replied with a smirk and reached up to kiss him on the cheek before pulling herself out of his arms.. She walked over and retrieved her fallen apple, which she promptly washed off, and dried before walking back to the table. As Hermione sat down and started in on her breakfast, Severus poured himself another cup of tea and joined her.
"Our anniversary is in a week and a half, I was hoping to plan the date this year." Severus said over the rim of his cup, watching her reaction discreetly. Hermione's eyes widened slightly and she cleared her throat before speaking.
"Um, really? Well I had started planning a…" she paused, then continued, "Um, how about we split it this year? I already have tickets for, er, something but I didn't plan dinner." She said hopefully, inside she winced. Smooth, Hermione, really smooth, she thought.
"Of course, I'll plan our dinner. What time is this 'er something?' I need to know for the dinner plans." Severus asked, mildly amused by her attempts to keep whatever it was a secret. He wasn't terribly concerned since this must be the plans Luna had referenced.
Hermione looked up, a little surprised he didn't ask more about what the tickets were for. "We need to be there at 6 PM, it's in London. You aren't going to ask me about it?" She asked, unable to suppress her need to ask questions. Severus smirked at her.
"I was under the impression you wanted to surprise me with whatever it is. I would hate for all of your subterfuge to go to waste." Severus said over his cup, winking at her devilishly. Hermione laughed.
"I know, I'm pants at keeping secrets from you!" She said, still chuckling. Severus smiled at her, he couldn't help but feel he was incredibly lucky to have someone like her in his life during moments like this.
"Anything for my lioness." He replied quietly smiling at her as she smiled at him across the table and went back to her breakfast.