I am keeping my promise of not disappearing and updating a bit more consistently.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Thoughts
Memories
A guttural roar tore through the air, Setsuna's head thrown back. Her eyes were closed tightly and brows deeply furrowed as she released scream after scream, veins popping along her neck. Black hair whipped across her face as she threw her body forward, curled fists coming down on the floor in a sickening crunch. The second impact was more wet in sound, blood beginning to pool beneath her knuckles, flashes of white present as she threw her hands down again, and again. Her cracking voice chasing after her fists, "I'm not a monster!" Eventually hands still on the ground, but small tremors move through her arms, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her breath stutters. Setsuna presses her forehead to the ground, back arched and tense, her jaw locked into a grimace. Sweat rolls from her brow, moving down the bridge of her nose and cheeks, splashing onto the floor. Her long nails dig desperately into the ground, small gouges forming in ragged shapes.
Suddenly, Setsuna starts to straighten her back. Still shaking arms push her upright, head rising from the ground. With bared teeth Setsuna snarls, "You, tell me how to return. I have seen enough." Her doppleganger, floating a few metres ahead, shakes her head. "You are not done here. You are still separate from me." Setsuna sways to her feet, arms stretched out and chin lifted defiantly, spitting out her words, "All you have shown me are reasons to keep separate from you!"
In the blink of an eye, her doppleganger crossed the distance between them, talons digging into the pale flesh of her throat tightly. "You see nothing," she hisses, "all you see is what the humans have wanted you to see; to believe. She picks Setsuna up, crimson eyes darkening, "They made us fear who we are; made us forget and hide. They are the real monsters, not us." Setsuna claws at her doppleganger's hand, desperate to break free, dark spots dancing around her vision. "Not… every…. human..." Setsuna wheezes out, her mind flashing to Asuna and her easy friendship; Negi's smiles and gentle reassurances; and Konoka, Konoka's unfaltering love. They never stopped believing in her; even her classmates. They accepted her readily, never batting an eye to her wings or demon nature. What was she even afraid of?
The pressure around her throat disappeared and Setsuna crashed to the floor, coughing. She stumbled back onto her feet, eyes watering and hand gingerly touching her throat. "Is that what you wanted to teach me?" Setsuna rasps, "that I should not be afraid of you because I already have people who care about me?" She throws her hands into the air, "You couldn't think of a gentler way of getting that point across?!" Her doppleganger shakes her head, "It wasn't about making you realise that people care about you. It was about making you realise that you deserve that love." A gentle light slowly envelops her other self, "We were never afraid of our demon nature. We were scared how others would treat us when they found out about it, that we would never be enough for them. But we have found good people who we can let in." The glow has risen in intensity, growing brighter and brighter until Setsuna was forced to shield her eyes.
"Take the leap."
Awakening
The first thing Setsuna noticed when she awoke was that her throat felt on fire. The next was that she was no longer in the garden, at some point Evangeline must have had Chachamaru move her to one of the guest quarters because she awoke on a bed, surrounded by machines that were beeping rapidly. "Master will be pleased to see that you have woken up, Setsuna-san." Chachamaru was standing in the doorway, an uniform in her arms. "I took the time to gather an uniform for you, I'm sure you would like to make your way back to campus in clean clothes." Picking the front of her shirt gingerly, Setsuna grimaced at the dried blood stains on her training shirt, "Thank you, Chachamaru-san. I appreciate the gesture." Chachamaru placed the uniform on the nearby desk and bowed before exiting the room. The next few minutes were filled in silence as Setsuna methodically removed the wires attached to her and changed into the fresh uniform Chachamaru was kind enough to procure. She even managed to get Setsuna's exact measurements right, I do not want to know how she knows my exact measurements…
While changing Setsuna flexed her hands, feeling only a ghost sensation of the pain while trapped in her mind. Satisfied that there has been no lasting damage, she made her way to the small basin in the room, as she bent to wash her face Setsuna startled at her reflection in the mirror. Her once raven locks were gone and in their place, blinding white hair. A shaky hand touched the white locks, fingers sliding through easily, finding not a single strand of black. Setsuna's hand then slowly trailed down and settled under her eye where the ring around her iris was now crimson in colour. "The seal, it must have been broken…" Setsuna muttered to herself, examining the new changes to her appearance. She slowly straightened her spine, standing to her full height, eyes firm. Her face was resolute, no hesitation or fear. With a slow nod, almost as if coming to a decision, she returned to washing her face before striding out the room, making her way to Evangeline.
"I see you are finally awake, I thought I would have to tell Konoka-san that I killed her guardian," Evangeline drawled, reclined back in her seat, the exact position Setsuna last saw her in before losing consciousness. "A warning would have been nice," Setsuna replied drily. A smirk formed slowly on Evangeline's lips, "Now where is the fun in that? Anyway, you're fine." Her hand gestures flippantly towards Setsuna's hair, "I no longer sense the seal so we can finally make real progress. However, that is for another time. I'm afraid my student will storm in soon followed by the princess if I keep you any longer." Setsuna paled at those words, "How long have I been out for?" Evangeline pretends to think for a second, "About three days."
Setsuna forgets all the questions she wanted answers to and spins on her heel and dashes out the door. "I'll see you next week, Sakurazaki-san!" Setsuna's mind is racing as she weaves through the afternoon crowd, not afraid to elbow her way through the campus courtyard, her worry over Konoka pushing her forward. When she arrives to the dorm the building is painted with muted orange and purple rays as the sun sets behind it, Yue nods in greeting as she dashes pass her. Setsuna can hear Asuna's voice before she even sees the door, her shouts emptying out into the corridor, the familiar sound comforting. Setsuna knocks as soon as she steps in front of the door, heart pounding. There's a crash and the muffled voices of Negi and Asuna as they fight over food behind the door, "Coming, Sorry for the wait! I had to step over Asuna and Negi - Secchan!"
Konoka launches forward into Setsuna's arms without hesitation, throwing her arms around the now taller girl's neck, pressing closely. Setsuna immediately returns the embrace, arms wrapped firmly around Konoka's waist, moulding around Konoka and face buried into her neck. "I'm sorry for the wait, Kono-chan," Setsuna murmured into her ear, voice raspy and low. "I missed you," Konoka whispered back, squeezing Setsuna impossibly closer. "I'm glad to see you alive and well, I thought we would have to go over to Evangeline-san and demand you back," Asuna piped up behind Konoka, a lazy smirk on her lips as she watches the scene in front of her, amused by the reunion. Setsuna startled, forgetting that the others were still there. "Asuna-san! Hey," Setsuna stuttered out, face feeling hot under Asuna's smirking gaze. "Are you going to let Konoka-chan go at any point? Dinner is getting cold." Konoka giggled, loosening her grip around Setsuna so she could drop back to the ground, surprised to note that Setsuna was holding her a few inches above the ground in the first place, "Leave her alone, Asuna-chan. Secchan deserves a break from your teasing for at least one day, I'm sure she is still exhausted from whatever Evangeline threw at her." Setsuna just remained silent, willing her face to stop burning.
"You're in luck Secchan, I included your favourite in tonight's dinner," Konoka said, taking Setsuna's hand and leading her to the door, Asuna having made her way back inside to tell Negi the news and continue eating. However, as Konoka tried to step pass the doorway she was tugged back gently. "Just before we go inside, I wanted to ask if you're free later tonight, I -" Setsuna pauses, taking a deep breath, "I would like to talk to you about something." Her smile looks a bit weak, as if those words took all her strength, but she holds Konoka's eyes, never looking away. Konoka squeezes Setsuna's hand, beaming at the girl, "Of course. Straight after dinner we can go for a walk." Konoka's words seem to empower Setsuna because her smile becomes brighter as she steps closer, voice lowering, "How about I take you flying?" Konoka's eyes soften, "It sounds perfect."
"I'm going to eat your portions if you don't get inside now!"
The girls laugh and walk into the dorm room, their hands never separating. "So, I gotta know, what's up with the sudden white hair? Did you lose a bet to Evangeline?" Asuna inquired, pointing at Setsuna's new hair colour with her chopsticks, words slightly muffled by the food still in her mouth. Negi grimaces, wiping his side of the table clean with a napkin after Asuna's food assaulted it, "I won't lie and say I'm not curious about that as well. Master tends to do things for her own amusement." Setsuna chews slowly, giving herself time to think before speaking, "It was not Evangeline. She actually helped me, in her own unique way," she scrunches her nose at the word unique, "this is actually my natural hair colour. I had a seal on my body that hid it," When Setsuna mentioned the seal, Konoka's eyes seem to glaze over slightly, whispering to herself, "Seal…"
Setsuna turns to the girl, eyebrows furrowed, "Are you okay?" Konoka shakes her head as if clearing her mind before smiling at her, "Yes, sorry, I thought I was getting a headache for a second but it disappeared before it even started." Setsuna slides her hand under the table to cover Konoka's, entwining their fingers. "Well let me know if it comes back, we can postpone our talk for another time," Setsuna whispers, eyes shining with concern. Konoka strokes Setsuna's hand with her thumb, "I'll be fine." Negi speaks up, dragging their attention back to him, "I'm assuming by your nonchalant tone that the seal was placed by someone you trust and not by an outside party. What was the seal for exactly?" Setsuna moved her bowl forward, dinner done and was soon followed by Negi and Asuna who stacked their bowls on top of each other. Konoka was still finishing up her meal, eating much slower than everyone else and slightly awkwardly as she refuses to let Setsuna's hand go. "You assumed right. Eishun-sama and Konoemon-sama were responsible for the seal. They placed the seal when I was younger in order to help me through some… difficult times." Konoka squeezed Setsuna's hand at her pause. "I will likely ask for a meeting with Eishun-sama soon, I need to discuss some private matters with him." Negi nods, hair falling over his eyes slightly and in that moment Setsuna remembers just how much everyone in this room has been through together. Negi has been forced to become an adult far too soon and Asuna has an entire planet depending on her now and Konoka… Konoka will inherit the Kansai Magic Association eventually. Setsuna's gut clenches at thought. She will need someone to lead with her, someone respectable and who she can have a heir with.
"Well, I'm glad you're back Setsuna-chan. It's never the same without you," Asuna says, bringing Setsuna out of her thoughts. Asuna is gathering the bowls, Konoka finally finishing her own dinner, and is moving to the kitchen to wash the dishes. Negi smiles and repeats the sentiment, following to help Asuna in the kitchen, their good-natured teasing starting up soon enough and leaving Konoka and Setsuna at the table. "Let me fetch a jacket and we can leave for our talk," Konoka says, getting up to go into her wardrobe. Setsuna uses the opportunity to go into the kitchen and tell Negi and Asuna about their plans. After a bit of blushing, Konoka and Setsuna leave the dorm room, making their way up the stairs and to the roof in comfortable silence. After carefully looking around to make sure no one was nearby, Setsuna releases her wings, stretching them to their full length. 'I think your wings have gotten longer," Konoka murmurs in awe, fingers grazing the soft, white feathers, admiring them. Setsuna shivers from the gentle caresses, feeling the tips of her ears brighten, "I suppose it makes sense with my additional height that my wings would grow to accommodate it." Her wings were truly impressive, spanning two metres wide and casting an almost ethereal glow under the peaking moonlight.
"Ready?" Setsuna moves forward to pick Konoka up but stops just in front of her, waiting for permission to gather her into her arms. Konoka smiles at her, "My chivalrous knight," she remarks teasingly, wrapping her arms around Setsuna's neck. Setsuna bends down slightly, looping her arm under Konoka's legs and behind her back, lifting her as she stands slowly, muscles never straining as she stands back to full height, grinning at Konoka. With a strong flap of her wings, they are airborne, the crisp air whipping at their skin and hair, making Konoka bury her face into Setsuna's shoulder, only surfacing to look at the shrinking campus and stars. Eventually they reach the World Tree and Setsuna settles on one of the large branches, the branch stretching out from the denser parts of the tree and giving the two a good view of the moon, Mahora plaza and the campus. "It's beautiful," Konoka breathes out, taking in the many buildings, twinkling stars and the bright moon. A strong wind passes through, rustling the leaves and Konoka shivers, burrowing further into her jacket. Setsuna moves closer to Konoka, gently placing her arm around Konoka's waist and pulling her into her side, making sure to use her wings to shield them from the wind. Konoka turns into Setsuna's embrace, resting her head in the space beneath Setsuna's chin and hand resting on the girl's chest, hands loosely gripping her shirt. They enjoy the warmth of one another for a few moments before Setsuna speaks.
"I learnt about my parents while at Evangeline," her voice was low, but carried to Konoka easily, the girl pressed close and listening. " My mother was beautiful. She had amber eyes and a sweet voice that made me feel safe. My father, he -" Setsuna tilted her head back, eyes glistening and throat bobbing, "he was a brave man. He was as big as Rakan-san yet so gentle with me." Konoka's hand rests on Setsuna's cheek, thumb carefully wiping away the tear trailing down, "They sound like amazing people." Setsuna takes a deep breath before continuing, "They were. I want to speak to your father, I want to see if he can tell me more about my tribe, where I came from. Now that the seal has broken, I have more questions than ever before," she tilts her head back down to look into Konoka's eyes and because of that, notices that she winces in pain, teeth clenched tight. "Is your headache returning?" She asks, hands coming up to cradle Konoka's face. "I- I keep seeing a flash of something and then it's followed by pain but they both disappear too quickly to understand," Konoka states, frowning. "Has this happened before?" Konoka slowly shakes her head, deep in thought, "No, this is the first time."
"Maybe we should continue this another time, it's getting late and I am worried that you might be getting sick," Setsuna says, hands warm on Konoka's face. "You worry too much, Secchan," Konoka pouts comically, her cheeks squishing in due to Setsuna's hands. "It's my job to worry about you," she teases back, laughter in her voice. "What if I want it to be more than a job to you." Everything stills. Setsuna looks at Konoka with wide eyes, mouth open slightly in shock, hands dropping from her face. Konoka wets her lips, her upper lip trembling slightly as she continues, "All I have ever wanted was you. By my side." The air around them feels charged, the hairs on Setsuna's arms standing up. "I want to become a magister magi and help people. I want to be the one who helps Negi's village, finding the cure for their petrification and throughout all that, I want you next to me." Konoka is holding Setsuna's hands now, her palms clammy as she continues her speech, "We made a pactio on Mars and you promised to support my dream and be my partner. I want that in every sense of the word. We are partners, equals. My magic is improving every day and I want to be able to protect you like you protect me, if you allow it." For the second time that night, Setsuna feels tears make their way down her cheeks but this time they are followed by a shaky smile, "I am still struggling to believe that I am worth anyone's time," Setsuna squeezes Konoka's hands, stopping the protest she was about to voice, "but after the last three days I think I am ready to learn, while I stand beside you." Konoka falls into Setsuna's arms and Setsuna can feel the tears wetting her shirt, but she pays no mind as her own fall onto Konoka's hair, their arms wrapped firmly around the other.
A warm sensation builds in their chests, pulsing steadily until in a bright flash it explodes out and materialises into two cards. Gasping, the girls reach out hesitantly at the glowing cards and as their fingers brush against them the light dims and they are greeted with their pactio cards, but changed. They noted the differences in quiet awe. Setsuna's card has changed the most. Her maid outfit has been replaced with traditional samurai garb. The hakama pants blood red, gi top black and the haori, Setsuna realises with a wide smile, is the same as her father's. The haori is black with red embroidery along the sleeves. Her wings are stretched out behind her and her hair is striking white, framing her smirking face, Yūnagi posed across her body and her other blades in a circle behind her. Konoka and Setsuna blush faintly as they realise that Konoka's card has changed to match Setsuna's vaguely. Konoka's blue pants became black, her once free hair was tied back with a red ribbon and the red accents around her sleeves were changed to elaborate embroidery that matches Setsuna's own on her haori. "I suppose the cards recognise our decision," Konoka giggled and Setsuna joins in, both of them laughing at the manifestation of their promise.
The girls are broken out of their laughing fit by the chiming of the nearby clock tower. Setsuna looks out to the night sky and notes how high the moon is hanging and then to the clock itself. "We should return to the dorm." Konoka nods, moving to embrace Setsuna like before. Soon enough the two were in the air again, flying back to the dormitory. Just before Setsuna touches down on the dorm rooftop, she feels the hair on the back of her neck rise and she quickly turns her head to look out into the night. However, as her crimson eyes scan the night, she cannot see anything out of the ordinary. The alarm bells in her mind are ringing, and as she moves to grab one of her paper dolls to investigate, the threat seems to vanish. Her mind quieting down. "Is everything okay, Secchan? You went still all of a sudden," Konoka asked as they finally landed on the roof. "I thought I felt something watching us but it might have been nothing," she smiles at Konoka but she can see that she doesn't really believe her but decides to let her have it. They make their way down the stairs and all too soon they were in front of Konoka's door. "Thank you for coming with me tonight," Setsuna says, rubbing her neck and wearing a crooked smile.
Konoka leans forward, balancing on the balls of her feet, and leaves a soft kiss on Setsuna's cheek. "I had a wonderful time," she says, smiling softly up at Setsuna whose mouth was hanging open, cheeks becoming flush, "let me know if you want me to be there when you go see my father." Setsuna seems to snap back to attention at her words, "I would like that. Partners supporting one another, right?" They smile at each other, not wanting to leave the others company, but eventually Konoka turns to enter her room, leaving Setsuna with her wildly beating heart. When Setsuna returns to her room, she throws herself onto her bed, a soft sigh leaving her as she sinks into the mattress. Her eyes close without her meaning to and soon she finds a smile on her lips as she drifts off to the memories of Konoka pressed against her, warm and soft. "Take the leap," she whispers before succumbing to sleep.
Meanwhile, outside the dorm, hidden in the shadows of the foliage, a figure stands. They move to leave, and the moonlight catches sight of steel. It gleams dangerously, the curve of a blade visible before disappearing alongside the figure, fading into the night as if they were never there.
Thank you for all the lovely words, they mean more than you would ever believe. Your kind words are fuelling me to finish this story and I hope this new update makes you happy! I thought it was about time Setsuna got some happiness after the rough patches I've put her through. Also, you can see that the Konosetsu slowburn is finally getting somewhere. Let me know what you think and what your favourite part was.